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ugh.. not a good time shopping

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Old 02-21-2007, 08:38 PM   #1
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Unhappy ugh.. not a good time shopping

You know those days.. I burst into tears in a changing room because things just weren't fitting well or fitting at all and the more I looked at myself the worse I was convinced I looked, so that by the end I felt like I was physically hopeless, unattractive, and would never be able to go to certain places because I couldn't look at certain way .

I felt so tired and sad... I always try to figure out whether I'm up for being around clothes before I go shopping, I guess I misjudged this day... *sigh* I should use this as motivation and work hard at my weight loss so I have fewer and fewer of those experiences or none. It's still hard though
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Old 02-21-2007, 09:15 PM   #2
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I think one of my worst experiences on this journey came when I was just about the weight you are now (and I'm 5'5" too). I had lost 70-75 pounds and was just about out of clothes in my closet. I was so excited to go to the mall, because at my high weight I couldn't even fit into much of anything at plus size stores.

So, yeah, I'd lost all this weight and was devastated because I still could only buy clothes at plus size stores and felt that nothing fit and looked good. It really deflated me.

But you know what I just learned? You can have those days at any weight. I'm fitting into some size 12s now and the last week went to a store, all excited to try on new clothes. Maybe it was the clothes I picked, but it all looked like crap on me. Luckily, I went back to the mall a couple of days later and really scored!

So, I guess my only advice is to say, hang in there! You've lost 40 pounds and that's just FANTASTIC!!!!
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Old 02-21-2007, 09:41 PM   #3
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Don't fret hon. If you hadn't even started trying to make a difference, that would be sad. But you have come so far already, that's wonderful! You should be happy you have done such a great thing! I am 46 years old, and I didn't figure this thing out until about 6 years ago. It's all sooo much harder at my age than what I assume yours must be, being a student. And as far as being in certain places, and looking a certain way? I love rock music, and I love to go to concerts. Always have. You know how it feels to be not only the oldest person in the crowd, but fat too??!! But then the music starts, and that is all that counts. So don't avoid places and situations, because you don't feel like you look right. Just keep making progress, and enjoying the good things as they come. And for heaven's sake, don't look at magazines full of "perfect" girls in "perfect" outfits!!!
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Old 02-21-2007, 09:46 PM   #4
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Have courage! You'll make it. Don't beat yourself up, I think no matter what size we are, everyone has those kind of days.

Not the same thing at all but when I was 24 I gained about 20 (or so) lbs out of nowhere and was in serious denial. I put on my favorite dress, a really beautiful silk dress from Ann Taylor and it didn't come close to zipping up and I was so devastated that I just ripped it up, screaming and crying. Eesh, I had issues. Still wish I had that dress though...I wish I knew then what I know now...

You've come a long way and you'll have better clothes days no doubt. and then this will be you -->

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Old 02-21-2007, 09:53 PM   #5
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"beautifulone" -- awesome screen name and it fits you -- it fits all of us -- unfortunately many people relate beauty to what the outward appearance is, which is just not the person inside. I have the same problems clothes shopping -- everything I would love to wear just looks horrible by the time it hits a size 18. But, you've lost 40 lbs -- please try to think back to the beginning of your efforts -- how often did you clothes shop? I know I have two pairs of jeans from Wal-Mart that fit and that's it. Every time I try clothes on at a store I leave crying. You must be down a size or two, right? I'm sure there are probably more options for you now than there were at your highest weight, and every size you lose opens more possibilities to look very hot !!! I'm sorry today didn't go well for clothes shopping -- regroup and keep working toward your goal, you will get there!!
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Old 02-21-2007, 09:54 PM   #6
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I'm sorry. I have days like that, today in fact. I've lost SO much weight, but not enough from my lower belly, being so close to a 50 pound loss, I pulled out some of last summers shorts, thinking they would be loose. Nope, they still fit, great. I'm blaming them being the stretchy jean camp style shorts, but I know part of it is because even though my lower meat apron is getting smaller, most of my loss has been back, arms, thighs, hips and butt.

You'll get there, as will I. We just have to keep going, one meal at a time, with making healthy choices.
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Old 02-21-2007, 10:58 PM   #7
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I had a day like that just the other day. It doesn't have to be overweight causing it either. It could be TOM or having too much sodium the day before. Mine, a combo of both, made me feel bloated. I didn't like anything I tried on that morning before leaving the house. Clothes I normally wear seemed to not fit right. The next day though, the same clothes felt fine. I didn't "feel" the belly bulge.
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Old 02-22-2007, 12:38 AM   #8
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beautifulone, I don't have any particular words of wisdom to offer you, but I want to congratulate you on having lost so much weight!!! It is amazing that you have come as far as you have, and one bad day at the mall should not make you feel depressed and discouraged. You've done fantastically well so far! I suggest going shopping for clothes after the gym and after a satisfying and tremendously healthy lunch. I find that my self-esteem is more buoyant after a productive and healthy morning.

Also, I don't know if this helps or hinders, but I'm currently a size 8, and until a couple of months ago, I was a size 6 (at my biggest, I was a size 14), and I would *still* have those days where I feel fat and ugly in everything, and completely discouraged and angry with the fashion gods. I think it is pretty much par for the course for women, regardless of weight or clothing size. So, bounce back, and take solace in the fantastic work you've done so far and look forward to outfitting your new and improved body another day.

Finally, and this is important, choose clothes that FIT YOU, rather than clothes with sizes that you think *should* fit you. Sizes are random and arbitrary and vary by designer. The important thing is to show off your body to its best advantage--regardless of what the label says.
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Old 02-22-2007, 01:31 AM   #9
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Oh hon, I feel your pain. But you have made SUCH tremendous progress! I have had to start re-framing my body. Think about who you were 40 lbs ago. Think about what you looked like, what you felt like...then imagine how fabulous the you THEN would think the you NOW looks. If you had melted all 40 lbs off instantly, and seen the changes immediately, you would have been SO amazed.

We all have days where we feel just...ugh. I've lost 115 lbs, and I still have days where I feel like I've made -no- progress. Those days suck, and I'm sorry that you had one. But take heart of all of the tremendous progress you've made, and all of the good choices you're making today that will help you get even closer to your goals. You have done an amazing job! These days will happen, but the progress you've made isn't going to go away on a bad day, or even a couple bad days. So this is temporary - saddening, irritating, but temporary...your losses will linger long after the feeling has passed.
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Old 02-22-2007, 08:23 AM   #10
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Firstly, you have taken off 40lbs - well done! thats fantastic work!

Everyone gets those days...whether its down to TOM, bloating, a big lunch or just crappy selection in the shops, so please don't worry. Here's a suggestion, I'm sure you are down a few sizes so why not go back to the shops and try on some clothes in your old size? I'm pretty sure you'll be amazed by the way they are hanging off you.

Personally speaking, there are days when I feel that the 72lbs I've lost so far haven't made the slightest bit of difference when I go shopping. I get frustrated that the skirt I tried on won't close or the shirt doesn't sit right but I just have to talk myself out of getting wound up. Its generally coz its at the end of a sale and crappy merchandise is out or I'm hungry and have no patience.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the journey you are on is tough but so worthwhile. Chin up chick, this too shall pass.
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Old 02-22-2007, 09:49 AM   #11
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Beautifulone, you are doing so well, don't let this get you down! Have you taken a good, long look at your own stats? You are almost 1/2 way to goal, and that is an amazing accomplishment! You should be so terribly proud of yourself!

Reading through the posts, I think RockinRobin has hit the nail on the head...at least as far as what I've been going through! Yes, I've lost weight, but apparently I've lost some of my senses along the way too! I am much more critical of my own body and how clothing looks on me now than I was 66 pounds ago. Last summer it was hard to find something that fit, now I can find plenty that fits, I'm just not satisfied with much of it! So relax, put the shopping off until another day, and you just may have one of those awesome shopping days where you like everything!
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Old 02-22-2007, 12:25 PM   #12
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Congratulations on the 40 lbs lost! Don't get too discouraged - I bet your body has changed a lot and you might be a little lost as to what looks good on you now. You have to be willing to try on everything. I avoided certain things for a long time (skirts around knee length, shirts with gathers near the neck) because I thought they looked bad on me, but they really don't.

I'm not trying to say that I don't have days like you described. I certainly do! I get so mad sometimes that I'm forced into certain styles because that's all that comes in my size and it all looks terrible. Get mad at the clothes, not at yourself!
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Old 02-22-2007, 04:57 PM   #13
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Doll,

There are days when my frustration ignites an eruption of molten lava down my veins in the dressing room. It's almost certain to come again. All I have to plan for a method of defense the next time is to close my eyes and wear the garment, use blind intuition to determine whether or not the wretched piece fits. No more looking in the mirror because it is my enemy in bright light. I've determined that its my mirror that gets bloated, not ME, as stubborn as that sounds...
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Old 02-22-2007, 06:40 PM   #14
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JUST what I needed to hear. Thanks for understanding and being so supportive, I appreciate it more than I can express

Thanks for reminding me that this happens at all weights and that 40 lbs is actually successful, I'm having a hard time believing that I should give myself credit for 40 lbs, it doesn't seem like much on some level - can you believe that??

I can't wait for when it will get easier though, seriously I cannot wait. I may just blow up some balloons and throw myself a mini-party to celebrate when I finally fit into a size 15

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will get easier . Thanks again I feel much better reading all of your posts - and of course you're all right I'm so glad to be part of such a wonderful community. I don't know what I'd do without this place and everyone here! I have an idea though: lost a little weight, stopped my program fast, gained the weight back, started bingeing again, stopped exercising, and continued to gain upwards to I don't want to know what . Instead, I have lost 43 lbs (weighed myself after 2 weeks without a scale!), I am stronger, I feel better, I look better, and my BMI has gone from a 43.6 (extremely high health risk) to 36.4 (very high health risk). And I am 9 pounds away from the "high health risk" category (last obesity class)! And I wouldn't have done it by myself.
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Mini-goal 1: Reach 257lbs
Mini-goal 2: Reach 222lbs
Mini-goal 3: Reach 209lbs
Mini-goal 4: Reach 199!
Mini-goal 5: Reach 179 lbs (overweight BMI category!!)
Mini-goal 6: Reach 160lbs
Final goal: Reach 145lbs

Mini exercise goal 1: Begin running September 2012
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Old 02-22-2007, 08:00 PM   #15
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Congratulaitons, You have had great weight loss success. Never think that you are alone in hating clothing sizes. I went to the mall 2 weeks ago with my DD and I bought me and her 4 new shirts. They were so cute and I got mine an XL because they looked to be sized small. I got mine home and they were too tight across the bust and shoulders. I was so disappointed and it made me feel like that I still can't pick out clothes that fit, even after meeting my goal. Most of my shirts are Mediums, so the only thing I can figure is a Women's medium must be bigger than a Juniors XL. But, I'm blaming it on the store, they had crappy sizing. No reason to feel bad about myself. I ended up giving my new shirts to my DD as we both liked them and had gotten very similar ones. They fit her shoulders and her fairly flat chest just fine.
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