Where do you find the motivation... - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

LaBonita · 02-12-2007, 11:59 AM

Like the title says.....where do you find the motivation, to keep going? I'm so sick of this. I do great for a week or two, then something happens like stress or TOM and I'm off the wagon and can't get back on. I was down to 145, now I'm back to my starting weight after being off the wagon for almost 4 weeks now. It always happens like this. I do good, I fall off, get motivation to get back on, then fall off again after a week.

What do you do?? I know what I have to do. I know I have to just DO it...but I have a huge problem with just being consistent about it.

Glory87 · 02-12-2007, 12:10 PM

I changed the wagon

I made the wagon the place I want to be, eating foods I like, living a lifestyle that makes me happy. There is nothing to fall off - this is how I plan to live forever and I like it.

phantastica · 02-12-2007, 12:16 PM

I don't let myself succumb to the "I'm sick of this" thoughts. I change it to "yes, it's different and difficult to change sometimes, but I can minimize the bad thoughts and make it as pleasurable as possible." It's like quitting smoking - if you sit around and think about how badly you're craving a cigarette, it's going to be more difficult to quit than if you say, "Yeah, I'm craving a cigarette. It's just a craving and it'll go away." Being 'sick of it' is just a feeling, let it pass. You'll soon find inspiration again.

QuilterInVA · 02-12-2007, 02:00 PM

Stand in front of a mirror and take a look - the person you see is where motivation comes from - from within, not from someone else. You have to want this more than eating. You have to come up with ways to deal with stress and TOM that don't involve eating. Until you change the way you use food, you won't be successful. So identify those situations that make you eat. Food is not to relieve stress, not for comfort, etc. What else can you do to relieve stress (exercise) or find comfort (talk to a friend).

Cheryl14 · 02-12-2007, 03:22 PM

Hi Heather!

I'm guessing from your height and your weight that you probably fit pretty well into clothes and look good in them. For me, weighing what you weigh RIGHT NOW would be a DREAM! I'm guessing that the motivation isn't there as much because you are probably pretty satisfied with how you look and how clothes fit. If you were really upset with yourself there might be more motivation there. I say this because even though I weigh much more than you, I AM large-boned and am two inches taller than you. When I was seventy pounds more than I am right now I was REALLY disgusted with myself and VERY READY to make the change I needed to make. These last 45 are going to be tough pounds because I am feeling pretty satisfied with my new shape and size. I'm not losing near the amount of pounds as I have lost in inches all over my body.

Rather than have a POUND GOAL, would it help you to have a CLOTHES GOAL instead? You could try the pair of jeans on every day if you wanted to to see how they fit. You could choose a new dress or top or whatever you wanted to eventually fit into. (I'm doing this each week with a dress for my son's wedding in August. The arms of the dress are tight, and the dress is beaded and completely NOT stretchy. I know that I really can't spot reduce, so I am trying to lose weight all over in hopes that my upper arms will also get the memo!!!) Right now I am less interested in my goal weight of 160 (the weight I weighed at my own wedding in 1976) than I am in the dress for my son's wedding this August.

Cheryl

AquaWarlock · 02-12-2007, 03:47 PM

I think the clothes goal is a really good one! Because, depending on how well hydrated you are, your weight can fluctuate by as much as 4 pounds! (well, that's the case for me...) and seeing how much better you fit is a definite good motivator!

LaBonita · 02-13-2007, 01:23 PM

Thanks girls. I definitely like the idea of the clothes thing, but whenever I try that I can't help but get on the scale! LOL. I'm not way overweight, but I don't like the flabby look I have in clothes. In high school I weighed around 125-130, and whenever I went shopping, I wouldn't even need to try on clothes because I knew they'd fit just by looking at them. I usually wore a size medium top (I have big boobs) and a size 7 jean EVERY store I went to...it was SO NICE! I really liked my body then. Now, I HAVE to try on clothes, and usually they don't fit. I can't really shop in the junior department anymore because I don't fit into those clothes like I used to....I'm only 21..I don't want to stop shopping there just yet because I like those clothes a lot better.

I know the motivation has to come from within. It's just so hard at times. I WANT to look good, I WANT to have a normal BMI, and I WANT to be able to buy clothes without wondering whether or not they'll make me look fat. Most of my fat is around my stomach/love handle area, so shirts rarely fit me right and look good. I want these things so badly, yet I keep sabotaging myself. And I don't get it! I don't think I've ever stayed with healthy eating and exercise for more than a month.

I'm really losing hope....is this where I'm going to be the rest of my life??

JayEll · 02-13-2007, 02:16 PM

You can change it. You can change it. You can change it. You gotta want to change it, and if you want to, you can.

Maybe you still harbor the idea that magically, the universe will change--and you can just eat whatever you want, whenever you want it, without consequences. It could be an unexpressed idea. Next time you are about to eat something that is beyond what you've planned for, stop for a second and ask, "What will happen if I eat this?" And just see what thoughts come up.

You can change it. You can change it.

Jay

Nikaia · 02-13-2007, 02:27 PM

Jay, you give the best advice. I'm going to start stalking you around the boards.

jpoy · 02-13-2007, 02:41 PM

hi, i see everyone has the weight tracker bars. i know where to go and how to pick the bar and slider. i dont know where to paste it. maybe i am copying to much? what do I do?

marbleflys · 02-13-2007, 02:53 PM

Heather, I'm going to use the fright tactic......(works on me). If you don't like the way you look now in your clothes............just think what you might look like 6 months from now, if you don't do anything.

I quit exercising for 8 months, my elderly mom had an accident, I'm a care-giver, etc.....that excuse worked for a while, then I was too stressed, too busy at work, holidays,yadayadayada....then I took a look at the rear-view in a department store dressing room, gulp and a picture at a family dinner, geeze, it was scary.

Now I get my buttisimo up every morning at 5am and do it before my excuses kick in....almost 5" are gone from my waist and an inch off each thigh.

I kick myself for slacking off for so long.

Nikaia · 02-13-2007, 03:50 PM

Jpoy, you need to copy the code they give you - everything in the box of code - and paste it into your signature. You edit your signature by going to the top of the page and clicking on "User CP" in the purple bar, then on the page that takes you to, on the left-hand side of the page will be some links. One will say "Edit Signature". Click on that. The box on that page is where you paste the code, then either hit preview or save - but if you hit preview, MAKE SURE YOU HIT SAVE AFTERWARDS. Otherwise you lose your changes.

Hope that helped.

Charles · 02-13-2007, 04:23 PM

I've just stared on this, so I'm no expert. And I'm a bit of a lunatic, so maybe my advice isn't the best to take. But I think that for motivation you should think of the long-term positive things only when you need general motivation and you're already feeling good about things. But in the short term, when you're staring down the barrel of a doughnut, I think negative motivation is a whole lot more powerful.

I just wrote an unnecessarily long post about this on my site that you can link to below.

Katz3 · 02-19-2007, 12:35 PM

These are all really great ideas. If you can, do some exercise. Even if its just stretching. I know that its all easier said than done, but if you've lost weight in the past you know that you're capable. This might sound crazy, but I hang my "fat" pictures on the cupboard door. I also put the unhealthy food on a high shelf. Some times writing about why I feel like eating at that moment helps. I know that sometimes you just can't stop yourself.

MarianneW · 02-19-2007, 12:51 PM

I saw on one member's signature the quote: "A year from now, you will wish you had started today". This is my new creedo (SP?) Every time I begin to think how much staying on the couch all day sounds nice, I repeat that to myself and think of what i will look like a year from now IF i start today. I am trying SOOOOO hard like you are and everything you are saying rings with profound truth and familiarity for me. I have found that taking it one day at a time, one step at a time and one bite at a time, I can do it! and so can you!