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Old 02-14-2007, 07:20 PM   #1
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Default Insensitive Doctor Rant-so upset

Four years ago I lost 64 pounds, going from 204 down to 140. I have kept it off very well, but in the last year I quit smoking and was on high dose prednisone and ended up gaining about 20 pounds back. Now I am six weeks pregnant and 165 pounds at 5'4". I know this is not ideal but my BMI doesn't even qualify as obese, only overweight. Keep in mind I have large bones/muscles and this puts me wearing size 8 skirts and dresses, size 10 pants.

I went to the dr. today for my first pregnancy check up and she told me that she is so concerned about how "heavy" I have gotten that she thinks I should gain NO weight, zero pounds at all during my pregnancy. She is very skinny and not only does this seem like bad medical advice from everything I have read on the subject, it also was not delivered with any concern or sensitivity for my feelings and I am very very very upset about it.

She was talking to me like "oh you should eat vegetables before candy" and
"try exercise, just a little walking" as if I have no clue how to manage weight. I can't stand people who have never had a weight struggle and don't understand that I do all those things, I do not eat insane amounts of sweets and candies and I am doing the best I can.

This same doctor never said A WORD to me when I lost all that weight. Now I feel like I am getting no credit at all for the additional forty pounds that I have managed to keep off for five years now.

Anyway, just really really really needed to vent on someone besides my poor husband since we are keeping quiet about the pregnancy until we are further along.


P.S. This doctor won't be delivering my baby anyway, she doesn't do deliveries only gyn
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Old 02-14-2007, 07:24 PM   #2
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Well, if she's never had a child herself then maybe I'd understand her ignorance... Doctors aren;t the brightst and smartest people in the world. Many of them are very impersonal and got lucky when applying to medical school.
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Old 02-14-2007, 07:31 PM   #3
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Do you think you will be comfortable during your pregnancy seeing her or would you rather see the doctor who will deliver for your prenatal care? Someone who understands it's healthy to gain a reasonable amount of weight?
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Old 02-14-2007, 07:33 PM   #4
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I think she was being totally insensitive. As someone who has been on high dose prednisone , I commend you for only gaining back 20 lbs. Great job. I gained 50 lbs. in last 3 years while on a lot of prednisone. (I'm on a lower dose now but still on it). I'm glad to hear she won't be doing your delivery. As a former OB RN, I have seen many women twice your size or more deliver healthy babies. I think her advice on not gaining any weight during the pregnancy is ill-advised. Congratulations on the pregnany and I hope you can find a Dr. that is more caring of you as an individual.
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Old 02-14-2007, 07:38 PM   #5
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First of all congratulations!

VERY VERY bad medical advice.

The recommended weight gain for someone of your height and weight is 15-25 lbs.

Personally, having done this twice. Try not to stress about your weight. Eat healthy foods, get exercise and what will be will be. My metabolism went to pot and I overgained both times - stay active though

from a dietary standpoint, there is no additional caloric need during the first trimester, and only about 300 calories/day extra during the other trimesters, so if you have an idea what maintenance was for you - that gives you a ballpark.
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Old 02-14-2007, 07:40 PM   #6
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I know that this is probably not what you want to hear, but I think she is trying to look out for you. In medical school they are taught to be blunt, I really don't think she was trying to hurt you. I think that if she said it, she truly believes that it would be best for you. The fact that she did not notice when you lost a significant amount of weight does not surprise me. I have had a lot of experience with doctors and in my experience none of them have ever been the most personable people. My sister is starting medical school and to be honest she is not the most personable or sensitive person, but I know she will make a great doctor because she is very smart and very intuitive. I have crohn's disease and have been with my specialist for just over two years, by all accounts he is the best in his field, but he is very blunt and not very friendly. Why do I keep going to him? For me, what it boils down to is, do you want to put your life in the hands of someone nice or someone who is a subject matter expert?
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Old 02-14-2007, 07:42 PM   #7
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I should add that my OB and many others think that the weight gain guidelines are utter crap. That the stress of trying to gain more or less than your body wants to is more harmful than over/under gaining. That's not to say go hog wild, but if you are eating healthy foods most of the time then just accept what your body needs to do.
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Old 02-14-2007, 07:43 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash15+ View Post
For me, what it boils down to is, do you want to put your life in the hands of someone nice or someone who is a subject matter expert?
a subject matter expert would not say gain zero unless you were morbidly obese, ACOG minimum is 15
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Old 02-14-2007, 08:04 PM   #9
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Congratulations on both the weight loss and the new pregnancy! The doctor definitely sounded insenstive.
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Old 02-14-2007, 08:09 PM   #10
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I once met this very skinny dietician who was bragging about how she gained 10 lbs last month from her leg fracture but lost it all in a week by brisk walking for 30 minutes a day!!! (probably implying that its as easy as that and fat people cant even walk for 30 minutes a day or it'd be all gone)...

Too bad for her...she lost one patient!
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Old 02-14-2007, 08:13 PM   #11
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Yeesh. Find a new doc. Or find a midwife. Find someone who is knowledgeable and compassionate.
And congrats!
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Old 02-14-2007, 08:18 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ennay View Post
a subject matter expert would not say gain zero unless you were morbidly obese, ACOG minimum is 15
I just mean that sometimes what they lack in social skill, they make up for in smarts and knowledge. That is just one person's opinion, you always have the option to seek another opinion if you are not comfortable with what is being recommended.
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Old 02-14-2007, 08:31 PM   #13
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sapostrophee, the first pregnancy can be nerve wracking enough with out having an insensitive Dr scolding you. If you are only 6 weeks along you have plenty of time to find someone that you are comfortable with. I agree with a couple others that she probably was just very matter of fact in her mind, but but that is just not cool. A little hand holding is a good thing when you're pregnant and nervous. You have another 7 1/2 mos to go. Ask your friends who they'd recommend.
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Old 02-14-2007, 08:36 PM   #14
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I think the doc could be more tactful on her own delivery of advice -- yes, it's a bit alarming to gain 25 lbs. @ 6 weeks into pregnancy (though this is MUCH better than you smoking through it), but there are some special weight/nutritional concerns that you should be aware of as well as you go further into pregnancy, such as continuing to do exercises that are friendly for pregnant women & their changing centers of gravity. Also, dietary changes are needed because you're eating for two now -- you want to be eating healthful foods but not depriving yourself from so much calories that the baby will be negatively affected from development.
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Old 02-14-2007, 08:44 PM   #15
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All I can say is MIDWIFE!!!! I had a similar thing happen to me and I switched to a midwife and it was the best experience of my life!!!!!
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