The reason is this: For the past year I've focused mainly on weightloss and exercise. Because of this focus, like many of you, I've put life on the back-burner. I know that I've gained so many things that I wouldn't ever change...weight loss, increased health, fitness, strength etc but on the negative side I've lost contact with friends, put off going on nights out, declined invitations and to be honest I've lost some social skills and my out-going-ness (if thats even a word!)
Well I signed up to play with a tag-rugby team that I found on the internet and tonight is the first meet-up in a bar in the city. I know that nobody will know eachother but its wrecking my nerves to get the courage to even think about going into the bar on my own and somehow walk up a group of people that I don't know and introduce myself.
Its hard to explain, its worse than first date nerves (not that I've had many of those!), its a group of people who didn't know the me before weight loss...who will only see the me that I present in two hours time (I'm on GMT time and its evening here). What if they don't accept me? what if they just don't like me? what if they take one look at me and go 'yeah like she could run around a pitch'? what if? what if? what if?
I will take this step and I think that it may just be the beginning of something wonderful.
I know that I need to make more friends but its hard. real hard.