OK, I have at least started exercising again (after gaining all the 5 lbs in just 10 days due to back injury. The 5 lbs which I had struggled to lose for last 6 months) I just need to vent! (This post is not intended to affect motivation of others, its just how I am feeling these days)
I still feel down and frustrated and am somewhat convinced I will never win the battle against my own body
Just feel like the world is unfair and no matter how hard I try I will still be back to Ground Zero!
To add to it, I read on the National Weight registry that more than 65% of all Americans are overweight and/or obese and 85% of them are UNABLE to maintain their weight loss for over 5 years. Its an epidemic now.
The rest 35% who are "THIN" think of us 65% as lazy, unattractive and overeaters. Are really ALL 65% of us lazy? May be we are just born with badluck and no matter how hard we try (and I know we all try really really hard) we can never be off of our weight or if we do, then maintain it longterm. I read about all of us who eat healthy, exercise and do it day and night but no-one thinks of how hardworking and sincere we are. When we lose a few lbs and gain it gain it again, we still are the lazy 65%!
I do think we all struggle hard, harder than most of those 35%. We follow strict diets, helping eachother to curb our cravings, not drinking that favorite mocha or latte and if we once in a blue moon, we feel as guilty as though we have committed a crime or something! 35 % can drink it without even thinking twice or eating a whole bowl full of candy when they are sad! Why can't we do that without feeling more sad....
I feel ashamed of undressing in the Gym locker room even if I know I may be the best person there by heart. Or even worse, majority of the 65% suffer from confidence and self-esteem issues all our life even though we may be the best and most kind-hearted people by heart.
Are we just supposed to keep struggling all over lives, curbing our cravings and then the long struggle could just be a waste when we gain it all back in 1/10th the time if we took a break...??? It happened to me several times and it has happened to all 65% too.
It just feels like a never ending journey to me even though i have started running again.