so sick of ambush work parties - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

lipidful · 12-22-2006, 08:51 AM

Just a little ranting to blow off steam coming up....
I'm so fr*king sick of these "surprise" work parties, completely unannounced...
So this morning, (I had brought in my lunch and everything, as I always do), there's an announcement made of a pizza party for all the people who are in work today(very few). I mean, yes, I eat pizza (usually only one or two slices), but the thing is, I'm so VERY annoyed b/c there are literally DAYS of feasting ahead. I don't need this. I guess I'll have to feel hungrier than usual other than this wonderful "gift" of a pizza party b/c I know how much I can eat w/o putting on the weight that I worked so hard to take off. I just need to vent. I feel like I HAVE to freaking eat it when what I'd really prefer is to just eat the lunch I brought in and have peace of mind. I hate this so much. Is there something wrong w/me? haha Really, though, I wouldn't normally be so annoyed, but why don't they tell us AHEAD of time so we don't waste our own food? And all the eating that I'm going to HAVE to partake of coming up...the funny thing is I don't even WANT it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Argh!

Why does everything have to revolve around fattening foods?
We have a new boss who seems to LOVE fattening food laden parties. blech
Haha just talked to someone else about it and she agreed that we have too many parties and that our new boss seems VERY food oriented
She just put muffins on the counter. Enough already! Jeez! There will probably also be dessert w/the pizza.
So I guess it's one piece of pizza for me w/the gross oil blotted off and that's it. Nobody is gonna make ME get fat again....

nelie · 12-22-2006, 09:34 AM

Do you have to go to the pizza party? Even if you do go, can you take your own food instead?

I've been in many situations were poor food choices were offered and I didn't take them. Either ate my own food, or just went to talk, had a drink and then left to eat my own food. DH's coworkers like to eat out a lot but he gets a packed lunch every day (unless there is a planned lunch). Often his coworkers will bring back food so they'll eat their takeout together and he'll eat his packed lunch with them.

I don't mind eating this or that once in a while and if you really want pizza, I'd say eat pizza but if pizza is not what you are feeling today, why eat it?

lipidful · 12-22-2006, 09:42 AM

I feel like I have to eat it. And I hate to throw out the food I brought. I'm on a very tight budget. The thing that annoys me the most is the ambush-y nature of the parties we have. Don't they think people eat breakfast or bring lunch? Are they trying to fatten everyone up? I don't really WANT pizza and I was planning on having margherita pizza tomorrow night as I see it as the "cleanest" option on the menu of the restaurant my SO and I are taking his mother to.
I basically have to eat the pizza today or I'll look like a total freak and I don't want people looking at me like I'm on a "diet". I'm not. I'm trying to maintain right now and I don't see how I can with all this feasting going on for days. I wanted to stick to how many calories I KNOW I'm eating just for peace of mind b/c the coming days will be full of mystery calories. I know that I can't have more than around 2000 a day without gaining again. I can deal w/that, but only when I have control over what I know I'm putting into my mouth. That's why I'm feeling so anxious. I have a VERY strong appetite and need to eat frequently. This annoys me so much. I just need to vent. I hope it isn't a trend (how my new boss likes to feed us fat and grease and sugar laden junk)

midwife · 12-22-2006, 09:53 AM

Hi Lipidful,
I hear what you are saying, but...if your boss or your work was expecting any other behavior from you and it incited this sort of anxiety, what would you do?

What if you were an alcoholic and your boss provided wine?
What if your boss hired a male stripper to come in and you were not comfortable with that?
What if you are a non-smoker and the boss decided to have a cigar party (or whatever)?

Those situations would be easier to say "no" to, but pizza is so very socially acceptable, that it might seem to be in a different category, but it is really not.

You should not be having to deal with this type of anxiety.

What is the worst thing that will happen if you say no to the pizza? Someone might think you are strange. Someone might think you are on a diet. Is your health more important? Are your goals more important?

Just eat your packed lunch. I think that those of us losing weight or maintaining a weight loss obsess over food way more than the average person. If my DH brought his lunch and there was pizza and he wanted what he brought, he would eat what he brought with no second thoughts.

Do what is right for YOU, no apology or explanation needed. If you act like it is the most normal thing in the world, then maybe other people will think so, too.

Good luck!

Sunnigummi · 12-22-2006, 09:54 AM

I know your boss is new, but is there anyway you could set aside some time to talk to him/her? If you need to, just make up something like "well I've been told I'm susceptible for some conditions associated with high fat diets and I have to very careful, so is there some way you could bring in something healthy if you really, really want to bring something in?" <--- not the exact words you should use, but something thereabouts.

If you say something along those lines, you're being vague enough that you don't have to give personal details (and he/she won't ask...) and you've made your point. If you AND some other co-workers feel this way, then maybe you *should* take the initiative and talk to your boss. No sense in keeping it bottled up.

JayEll · 12-22-2006, 10:01 AM

Yes, well, it's easy to say just talk to the boss reasonably, but that might just get the wrong kind of attention--know what I mean?

I don't drink alcohol, and I haven't for 20 years, and in all that time I've gone to a LOT of parties where there was alcohol--some where they didn't even have nonalcoholic alternatives. I drink water at those events.

The point is, unless someone actually holds you down and puts the food in your mouth, you don't gotta eat it. Eat the food you brought first, at your desk, then go to the party and be sociable for awhile, have some diet soda or some other beverage, and if anyone asks you why you aren't eating, you just have to say that you already ate and you're not hungry now, with a smile. You do NOT have to explain to ANYONE why you aren't eating (or drinking). If someone says, "Oh, are you on a diet?" You can say, "I'm just not hungry--I ate already." C'mon, you do NOT have to eat that food!

Jay

lipidful · 12-22-2006, 10:39 AM

Isn't it just nuts that I'm feeling so much anxiety over this? I am prone to some social anxiety, so I guess it just kinda fits in...
You know, you are totally right. In fact, I'm just now getting hungry, my usual time to start wanting to eat lunch (over an hour away from the pizza) and I really don't want to have to throw away my lunch. And I want to "be able" to eat all my usual snacks. It's not just about today. It's a skill I need to learn, to deal with this kind of thing. It's not about resisting some food I just HAVE to have...it's about dealing with this ridiculous social pressure.

fiddler · 12-22-2006, 10:41 AM

I agree with JayEll. I would not talk to the boss about it. Really, there's nothing wrong with having a pizza party. Some of the employees may enjoy it.

I would just bring the lunch you packed to the pizza party, and decline the pizza. If anyone asks why, just say you didn't know there was going to be a pizza party, and you brought your lunch. End of discussion.

lipidful · 12-22-2006, 10:43 AM

haha fiddler, that is so logical.
I don't know why I feel like I'm being rude....
stupid ridiculous anxiety! argh!

WaterBottleBeauty · 12-22-2006, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fiddler

I would just bring the lunch you packed to the pizza party, and decline the pizza. If anyone asks why, just say you didn't know there was going to be a pizza party, and you brought your lunch. End of discussion.

I'm completely agreed with this. Or say you are going to have pizza tomorrow so can't bare to have it today - that's quite cute and funny and a lot of people will be able to relate to that one. And, on top of everything else, it's absolutely the truth.

As for odd looks from your co-workers- yes, it's uncomfortable. But you'll feel more uncomfortable eating food that you actually don't want and that's a feeling that will last longer too. Short term pain vs long term payoff!

Sadly, losing/maintaining weight has to take place in the real world. And, in the real world, suprise meals aren't this amazingly uncommon thing which never happen to anybody ever. You'll have to find ways to work with it (but, that being said, I do share your fraustration!!).

nelie · 12-22-2006, 10:58 AM

You can also make excuses...
"I found out I'm lactose intolerant"
"I have gall stones, doc says to limit my fat content and this pizza is way too fatty" (This one is actually true for me)
"I'm going out tonight and want to limit my eating out"
"I've been indulging in way too much fatty foods lately"
"Christmas time means so many indulgences, I rather limit myself to indulgences I really want"
"I'm not feeling like pizza today"

Yes you do have to assert yourself. You won't look like a total freak if you don't eat pizza. Things like this happen in work environments all the time. When we ordered pizza at my previous location, we'd order pizza and salad. Some people just ate pizza, some ate salad and pizza and some just ate salad. If you want to avoid "aren't you eating pizza?" you can try arriving late to the pizza party, say you had a phone call or a meeting, if they have drinks, then drink and mingle with the others.

Like fiddler's suggestion (and how I said DH deals with it) is that some people want to eat with others but they want to eat their own food. It isn't abnormal and you aren't a freak for not eating pizza.

lipidful · 12-22-2006, 11:04 AM

I feel silly for being so anxious about all this.
Well, I just ate my lunch.
"I brought my lunch and didn't want to waste it."

I saw one of my coworkers eating her usual pb and j that she brings, so oh well.

I knew you guys would understand.

Glory87 · 12-22-2006, 04:52 PM

One of my "rules" when I was losing weight was:

Permission to be a ***** about food.

We are so socialized that food is love, food is companionship, food is friendship. People REALLY REALLY push food in our society and it is very hard to say no. I decided that it would be OKAY for me to say no to anything I didn't want to eat, no matter what it was. I am the unfriendly food girl in my office and I am FINE with that. I lost 75 lbs and kept it off for 2 years by NOT eating like everyone else.

Sunderella · 12-22-2006, 05:03 PM

I have found a perfect excuse for getting out of eating stuff I don't need or want, I just blame blood sugar problems or stomach problems...no one bothers me after that...hey it works

CLCSC145 · 12-22-2006, 06:44 PM

I used to manage a large group of people in a call center who worked very hard and every once in a while we would surprise them by bringing lunch in. Now, I'd tell them the day before, but I absolutely, positively, NEVER felt like anyone had to eat it if they didn't want to. It was a treat if they wanted it and if they prefered to eat something else, it just meant more for everyone else. In fact, I would probably feel bad as the manager that I had forgotten to plan something for those who wouldn't or couldn't eat cheesy pizza.

I have to believe that NO ONE will care if you eat something healthier. In fact, I bet a few people will feel like they wish they were eating your lunch rather than packing on the pounds with pizza.

Don't give it another thought.