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Am I a failure? I can't even do this one day

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Old 12-20-2006, 03:53 PM   #1
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Default Am I a failure? I can't even do this one day

Is something the matter with me? I can't seem to even make it a day or two on weight watchers (or anything for that matter). I can't seem to get motivated to lose weight. About 3 years ago I lost almost 100 pounds and have put almost all of it back on. I feel so overwhelmed now. I want to lose so bad but that doesn't seem to be enough to get me going. My back hurts, my feet hurt, and I'm tired all the time. I know no one can do this for me but thought maybe someone out there has been here but made it through. I'd love to be thin again. It felt so good to be my normal weight again. With no aches and pains associated with being so heavy. Thanks for listening to my ravings~ Barb
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Old 12-20-2006, 03:56 PM   #2
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i know exactly how you feel. It is so hard to get going. And its also hard to keep going because you dont see results right away so i doesnt even seem like your doing anything right. i wish that i had the answer for you, but i dont. i atleast wanted to tell you that you are not alone and its not just you honey.
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Old 12-20-2006, 04:14 PM   #3
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It is definitely hard to get going on a diet/exercise plan. But if it were easy, nobody would be overweight. Just keep trying! And just because you screw up, does not mean that you should eat whatever you want for the rest of today and start over tomorrow. Start over right after you screw up! That was always my biggest problem. Those small cheats turn into cheat days, cheat weeks, and cheat months.

Just think about how you will feel once you lose the weight. That should keep you motivated!
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Old 12-20-2006, 04:18 PM   #4
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I have been in your shoes, Barb! I had to steel myself for starting again. I just cannot lose over 120 pounds again and gain it back. So for every negative thought I had about this, e.g. I can't do this, I'll fail after one day, etc., I consciously made an effort to correct myself and think something positive, like I can do this-- if not me who else? Or all I have to do is get through this one meal, then worry about the next one. I'm sure you remember from your 100 pound loss, you string enough of those together and you've started something great!

I've found that support is SO important. Without a group to be accountable to or talk through my frustrations with, this would be enormously overwhelming. 3FC is a great place to get that!!!

Don't be your own worst enemy. Be kind to yourself. That means thinking positive things about yourself and having the strength to say no to overeating simply because you care for yourself. It's a big challenge, but you CAN do it! You're not a failure. Take baby steps and try to make more good decisions for your health in a day than bad ones. It'll pay off.

Post often so we can get to know you! I think you'll like it here.
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Old 12-20-2006, 04:19 PM   #5
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Lost 200+ pounds and kept it off since 1976 - it's been work but you can do it - make small changes you can do and keep adding to them. All the small things add up to weight loss. Think of it this way, if you do nothing you may have even more to lose in the future. If you start now, no matter how small the loss it's a positive step in the right direction. I highly recommend "YOU on a Diet". He gives great information in an easy to read format. He doesn't really endorse any diet per se but tells you how to find a good one and get started. The background information on how your body works is wonderful and he has a good section on exercising at home that any one can do (Dr. Oz).
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Old 12-20-2006, 04:25 PM   #6
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Barb ~ tell us the reasons in a list why you want to lose weight?

For example:

1) I want my back and feet to stop hurting all the time
2) I want to re-gain my energy
3) I know what it feels like to weigh less and I want to be in that feeling again

and so on

When you are done, print the list. Put it in your handbag. Put it on your refigerator door. Put it on the bathroom mirror. Put it in your agenda. Put it in the car. Put it in your jacket pocket. Put it anywhere where you can be reminded of what you REALLY WANT.

Yes it's hard. But it's not really. It's not. It's about saying "enough is enough" and doing it. It's about thinking about what's important to YOU and then not letting things get in the way. It's about making YOU more important than not following a plan. It's about being fully aware of what you are doing and why you are doing it.

It helps to talk about it. SO many of us know exactly how you feel. It's about one day at a time. Sometimes it's even one hour at a time. But you CAN do it. It's up to you though. Motivation and Willpower are just things to fool us, to make us feel like a failure. It all comes from you, nothing else.

Don't think about too many days in advance - whenever the day starts just focus on that day. Don't think "Well, I'm a failure anyway" or "Yeah it's going well now, but I'll probably fail tomorrow". Set yourself up with positive thoughts, "Today I'm going to stick to my plan NO MATTER WHAT". Plan and write down your food. Get out for a 20 minute walk. Do whatever it takes. Pride yourself in saying "no" to whatever it is that is NOT on your plan for that day. Celebrate all your small victories with a happy dance in your living room.

You CAN do it Barb! Even if you WERE a failure in the past (I don't believe it) you are NOT now. NOW is all that matters. NOW you are Barb the A$$-Kicken' Weight Loser!!!

We are rooting for you Barb!!!
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Old 12-20-2006, 04:27 PM   #7
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everyone here is so smart.
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Old 12-20-2006, 04:53 PM   #8
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Aw, hun... I feel your pain; it's so hard to stick with things.

Are you trying to do too much, too fast (i.e. do a 180 turn in a day)? What's causing you to fall down (junk food, too much food, etc)? Is there stress in your life that's making you want to overeat or eat the wrong things?

In short, what's happening in your life? Is there something that's holding you back? Just remember, you CAN do this and you CAN stick with it, no matter what. I think I saw a quote in someone's signature, "Failure isn't falling down; failure is not getting back up."
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Old 12-20-2006, 06:31 PM   #9
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Barb,

Just remember, if you did it before, it's in you to do it again. Everyone has given good advice. Just because you mess up doesn't mean something is wrong with you or whatever program you're on. It just means you're human. I've screwed up many times. The point is to NOT GIVE UP. I'm not on WW (tried it, just wasn't for me), but I try to "cheat" on plan (I'm on LA weight loss). In other words, if you want something that's not good for you, try to modify it so it's healthier or if you must, try to work the "bad" thing into your plan if it's allowed. Don't beat yourself up. Just start over with the NEXT MEAL/SNACK. You don't have to wait until the whole next day to correct a mistake. You can do it.
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Old 12-20-2006, 07:23 PM   #10
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Have you considered working on small changes first? Maybe it's hard to dive in 100% if you don't feel ready. There is a diet plan called Change One that focuses on making small changes and gradually adding to them. For example, the first week you make it a goal every day to eat a healthy breakfast. The rest of the day doesn't matter, as long as you get breakfast right. Then you add lunch, and various other changes. The program lasts 12 weeks. It's really good for easing into a diet plan without feeling like you are dieting.

Good luck
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Old 12-20-2006, 07:44 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Velveteen
Yes it's hard. But it's not really. It's not. It's about saying "enough is enough" and doing it. It's about thinking about what's important to YOU and then not letting things get in the way. It's about making YOU more important than not following a plan. It's about being fully aware of what you are doing and why you are doing it.
Oh, well said!

Lots of great advice here. You are NOT a failure. But it sounds like you could overwhelm yourself if you're not careful.

Take a deep breath. Let it out!

Think about your first step, then do it.

I think it helps to remember you're making a commitment to yourself!
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Old 12-20-2006, 08:26 PM   #12
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Small steps babe, small steps.

Pick one thing to change and stick with that. The second thing will be easier. The third thing will be even easier


Starting is like trying to move a big rock. You push and nudge and dont seem to get anywhere and it is discouraging and seems like all effort, no results. But once you get the rock to move a little bit, momentum kicks in and the next thing you know that sucker is rolling down the mountain.
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Old 12-21-2006, 07:57 AM   #13
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Wow, lots of good advice in this thread!

I've unfortunately found that I have to be in the right state emotionally to lose weight. If not, then I last a week or two and it goes bad. Basically what happens is that I decide I'd rather eat something for comfort, knowing I'll gain weight, then lose weight.

I wish I could say what got me out of those phases. This time it took me a year of false starts to getting going. Then I had a setback -- gained back half of the 50 pounds I lost -- and started again.

For me it's all mental and emotional. I think it also varies from person to person. Like for me, I was avoiding exercise at first, figuring I should just concentrate on eating healthier for a bit and not overwhelm myself. Turns out for me, that doesn't work. I need the full package, the exercise regulates my hunger. But I know for some people, focusing on it all up front doesn't work.

So try different approaches. Maybe you do need to dive into it full blast. Maybe you need to ease into it step by step. Maybe you need to go to something like Tops or Weight Watchers weekly to have structure to what you're doing. It really does just vary from person to person, from what I see.

Best of luck, in however you choose to tackle things!
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Old 12-21-2006, 08:13 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Suzanne 3FC View Post
Have you considered working on small changes first? Maybe it's hard to dive in 100% if you don't feel ready. There is a diet plan called Change One that focuses on making small changes and gradually adding to them. For example, the first week you make it a goal every day to eat a healthy breakfast. The rest of the day doesn't matter, as long as you get breakfast right. Then you add lunch, and various other changes. The program lasts 12 weeks. It's really good for easing into a diet plan without feeling like you are dieting.

Good luck
Wow, when I started reading this thread, I was thinking "Change One might be helpful for her..." I don't see many people talking about it, but it's a great way to g...r...a...d...ua..lly work your way toward healthier eating -- I love the concept. I'm on WW, third time around (lost 50+ lbs twice before, hit an extended plateau both times and stopped the program, and gained it back and then some). Now I know this isn't a diet -- for me, it is a lifestyle change. I've hit another lonnnnnng plateau, but I haven't gained back what I've lost, so I'm just plugging along, and if when I stumble, I just dust myself off and keep going the best I can.

Barb, there is tons of good, motivational advice on this thread...and we've been there, too. This site is the absolute best place for support and encouragement
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Old 12-21-2006, 01:19 PM   #15
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Default thanks everyone

thank you all for your responses! I am so tired of food being an issue in my life. I'd love to wake up one morning and my first thought not be about what I ate yesterday, whether it was a good day or a bad day food-wise. Just get up and not have a thought about food at all! Does such a life exist?? When I lost all the weight before and was thin, I can't remember if I thought about food or not. I probably did because I gained it all back! Anyway, thanks for all the responses and help. I'm so grateful! Merry Christmas everyone. Barb
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