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I know it's petty, but it hurt my feelings...

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Old 12-19-2006, 01:05 AM   #1
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Unhappy I know it's petty, but it hurt my feelings...

Ok, so I got picked by a photographer to come in and do a free photo shoot to expand his portfolio for his pinup and tattoo work. So I went in tonight with some confidence, alot of nervousness and absolutley NO CLUE of what to expect. So my photographer is 23, a little sloppy and kind of hmmm...out there? So I'm thinking it's going to be alright. I never said I was a size 2, and he knew that. So, we get through with the first part and he says "I can rip any woman apart. I know her flaws right away." So what does my dumb a$$ say? "Ok, you're killing me, what are mine." Stupid, right off the bat, dumb on my part. I asked right? Well, he asks me how many kids I've had and then proceeds to tell me that my arms are flabby. I could've socked him in the jaw. I said, well, I've lost 98 pounds, some of that is extra skin.

And I know it sounds stupid & petty....seriously it does. But man, when you do these things to make yourself feel good about the way you look, and it takes a turn for the worse, you just want to kick yourself!!!

Another thing that I might mention, is that he was not the picture of health either, he admited to me he was over 300lbs. So give me a break!!! But then again, he's not taking his own picture.

So yeah, kinda bummed, and I know it sounds ******ed, but I needed to get it out. Thank god for 3 fat chicks eh?

Thanks for listening....

Carrie
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Old 12-19-2006, 03:24 AM   #2
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What a totally rude thing to say, especially when it sounds like you were doing him a favor. Something I always tell myself when dealing with people like that is that they say things like that because they are insecure. People that are secure and happy with themselves don't say hurtful things to other people. Someone who is insecure about his own weight says things to make others feel bad about theirs. That comment says far more about him than it does about you.

And, if the worst thing he could think of to say about you is that your arms are flabby, it sounds like you must look pretty good. When I was at my highest weight, my oh so flabby arms were the least of my worries! Who cares about arms--the worst parts are usually covered anyway.

Congratulations on losing 98 pounds! That is an awesome acheivement and you must look fabulous (lose skin on your arms or not)!
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Old 12-19-2006, 09:39 AM   #3
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Carrie, if after losing over 90 lbs. all he had to be negative about was "flabby arms", I'd feel great about myself. Of course, he's a jerk to say this. I am sure that you look great. I've lost prettty much the same amt. of weight and yes, my arms aren't exactly firm, but look awesome compared to what they did look like. Sounds like he was just trying to brag about what a great photographer he thinks he is. Ignore that jerk and be proud of yourself and all that you have accomplished.
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Old 12-19-2006, 09:42 AM   #4
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I'm sorry your feelings were hurt...but you asked him! Men are different than women. They actually answer direct questions with direct answers. AND...losing 98 pounds is so great! Imagine if you asked him 98# ago...he would have been direct then, too. Women beat around the bush and consider feelings and interject kindness (and if they don't, then it is another kind of problem).

Even supermodels have flaws...they get airbrushed out! As an "artiste", this photog has to be aware of flaws and ideal positions. He won't get much wedding work if all his brides look flabby.

Try not to let it get you down! You were chosen to model...and he was aware of how to have you look as beautiful as possible...minimizing external flaws....to match who you are on the inside!
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Old 12-19-2006, 10:00 AM   #5
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Do not listen to turds like him.
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Old 12-19-2006, 10:18 AM   #6
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hmmmm.... 23, sloppy, out there, and admittedly over 300lbs....I would pay no mind to anything that he said. He picked you in the first place!. Kido sounds a little full of himself anyway...I think I would have been more taken aback by the 'i can rip any woman apart, i know her flaws right away' statement in the first place... At that point I may have socked him just for being ignorant snooty and thinking his...for lack of better words...S**T don't stink.
Girl you have lost 98 pounds... that is such a huge accomplishment! One mans flaw is another mans asset...and really who cares what a full of him self 23 year old photographer thinks about your arms anyway, let it roll right off
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Old 12-19-2006, 10:29 AM   #7
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I think floppy arms are on just about every woman's list of flaws. Even the celebrities sometimes have them (if you catch them on live tv with no airbrushing possible).

I suspect that man is very lonely if he keeps pointing out every woman's flaws for them...

Artists sometimes forget that their subjects are actually PEOPLE. The best artists remember that and manage to show us that the "flaws" are what make us unique and beautiful.

Wow... 98 lbs. What a wonderful job! Don't let anything get you down.
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Old 12-19-2006, 12:01 PM   #8
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Thank you so much. I really needed to feel better. And now I do. You girls are great. And like I said in the OP, I totally know it was my bad to ask him. But it wasn't unwarranted, he brought it up. It's hard to say if anyone was in the situation that they wouldn't have asked. So...here's a photo that has already been airbrushed. How much? I dunno...You'd have to ask him, cause I'm not going to.....LOL!!

pinupsg.jpg
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Old 12-19-2006, 01:32 PM   #9
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He didn't just volunteer the info, you asked for it. Sorry you were hurt but you left yourself open. I hope you offered to help him with his weight problem - pay back time!
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Old 12-19-2006, 01:46 PM   #10
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WOW! Gorgeous photo of you!!! You look totally amazing. Forget about what he said ...men are from another planet anyway.Keep going strong for yourself and your family. His comment has taken too much of your thought,enjoy your hard work.You are beautiful!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 12-19-2006, 01:54 PM   #11
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Carrie--

You look hot. "Nuff said.
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Old 12-19-2006, 02:14 PM   #12
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You look beautiful! And THIN!

He's a moron.
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Old 12-19-2006, 02:25 PM   #13
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Absolutely smashing!!!
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Old 12-19-2006, 02:29 PM   #14
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Yeah, honestly...if a guy looks like a jerk, acts like a jerk, he's a jerk. Don't ever ask someone for their opinion unless you want to hear it, especially men's advice. If you are concerned with your flabby arms, there are many machines at work out facilities that can help to get rid of most of the flabiness. In my advice though, try to surround yourself with happy people, it will make life better in the long run! You should be proud of yourself!
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Old 12-19-2006, 04:51 PM   #15
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Talented photographers don't find flaws, they find assets.
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