|
|
04-28-2014, 07:58 AM
|
#16
|
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,607
S/C/G: 215/188/150
Height: 5'4"
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desiderata
I have a different take on this because of my very ill childhood years, which were littered with various doctor-imposed food restrictions. They were all meant to help (lots of food allergies suspected, and then lots of different approaches taken that acknowledge food as a powerful medicinal tool), but to a little one, it was just endless restriction and so unfair. I snuck-ate a LOT of junk food. I'm sure I secretly undid a lot of the good efforts being expended. It's so very sad to think about now, but I don't blame anyone, including me. Harsh restriction - even when it's for "good" reason - is just so very tricky for kids.
In the last few years I've snuck-ate "bad" foods (junk, food that I know makes me ill) only when I was being my most restrictive diet-wise and had limited calories strictly for a prolonged period, which was helpful in the sense that it was eye-opening. I generally have a great relationship with food now and rarely if ever feel deprived by all the things I choose not to eat - I feel great as an adult, choosing my choices and all that. But I do think back on childhood with a lot of sadness - I'm not sure how anyone could have done better, but it's still sad.
|
Thanks for bringing to attention how we ate as children. That must have been difficult to go through. My own childhood was golden, we lived on a farm and ate fresh seasonal foods, junk food was not available. It wasn't until I was a late teenager that I had a series of traumatic events that I started using food as a way to cope. We didn't have any restrictions in the house so my issues happened in another way.
|
|
|
04-28-2014, 09:38 AM
|
#17
|
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,202
S/C/G: 133.4/123.2/115
|
I have been dieting since I was about 8 years old, and started severely skipping meals at 11. My mom was always dieting (weight watchers, herbalife, weight loss clinic, etc), but has never really been overweight since she was a child. We are a little on the "meaty" side, so I definitely followed suit.
In my house, there are no "off-limit" foods, but I have been making my daughter homemade pretty much everything since she was born. I have recently really cracked down on the amount of sweets she has access to. It's overwhelming with Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, etc. I just put it all together and really took a hard look at her diet. We don't eat the same foods most of the time, but we eat similar foods. Most of that is because she's hungry at 6 when she gets home, but I often don't eat dinner until 8. This is something I'm working on - having family dinners together. My daughter also knows that we put vegetables in everything because they're good for our bodies.
I'll tell you that it kind of made me cringe when she was around three years old and was playing with barbies. She had a dad, a mom, and a baby driving to McDonalds. She said "I get a chicken nugget happy meal, daddy gets a burger and fries, and mommy gets a coffee."
|
|
|
07-28-2014, 04:07 PM
|
#18
|
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 77
S/C/G: 182/158/105
Height: 4ft 11"
|
As a child my food intake was restricted (although not necessarily healthy). I was not overweight until I got a job at 18 and started trying all the foods I'd never been allowed - included all types of takeaway and 'branded' foods such as Walkers or Cadburys.
As a child I was given no explanation as to why I was not allowed to eat certain foods (and my parents did eat them). If I had been given an explanation it may have helped but also I cannot help but think that a small amount of exposure may have prevented me from spending 8 years of my life stuffing my face with all the yummy food I'd always wanted to try.
|
|
|
07-28-2014, 11:38 PM
|
#19
|
Still Chubby
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Beijing, China
Posts: 364
S/C/G: 79.8/72.5/66kg
Height: 172cm
|
My house never had soda, but it wasn't really restrictive. We didn't keep junk around the house and I rarely got to eat fast food or go out to eat, but it never seemed like a big deal. I think that had as much to do with finances as health.
I was always a little chunky (a doughy size 6) and then never lost the baby weight...and I when I moved out I gained about 40lbs because I could buy whatever I wanted and junk is delicious. It was never around at home, so I never ate it. When it was suddenly around, I ate it all the time.
Restricting foods can be unhealthy, but I think modeling restraint and moderation around unhealthy foods is also a good idea.
|
|
|
07-29-2014, 02:13 AM
|
#20
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: In La-La Land
Posts: 3,846
S/C/G: 297/198/190
Height: 5'8"
|
Thank you for posting this article.
I am the classic case of someone who grew up in a food restricted environment. My mom had body image issues of her own and my dad was tall, skinny, and preferred that every one else come in that shape.
I was probably one of those "reactive" eaters discussed in the article. Some of my earliest memories revolve around birthday cake-- I remember sitting and HOPING that I would get the corner slice with all of the frosting roses.
My mom, thinking she was going to "keep me thin" pestered me constantly about food and weight from the time I was about 7 years old. She did not keep much junk in the house. We snacked on fruit and drank skim milk. Never had sugary cereal, and she cooked meals. I clearly remember how she hid my Halloween candy in a high cupboard because she was "afraid I was going to eat it all.."
Things got a lot worse when I started to grow and mature a bit earlier than my peers. I remember so clearly that when I was in middle school I was starving all the time, and my mom used to send me to school with "diet lunches". At first, she gave me only half a sandwich, and then, she just gave me a tupperware with plain tuna some carrot sticks, and a piece of fruit. Not exactly what you might want to serve a girl who is in the middle of her growth spurt! I remember worrying constantly that I wasn't going to get enough to eat. Since the dinner meal was also closely monitored, I started to sneak food and eat in secret. During this entire time, I was not just normal weight, but also a competitive athlete. I have no idea why it was that my mom thought I was SO FAT. I guess it was because I had a more mature body shape than my peers at that time. I was absolutely normal weight.
Then, I got the bright idea to join Weight Watchers at age 12. I lost 18 pounds (from 138 to 120). I could not maintain a weight of 120, obviously, since I was growing and 120 was too low for me. So I spent the next several years struggling to get back to 120 which meant a lot of starvation diets followed by sneaking food. It makes me sad when I think about my young teen self. I used to eat diet food that tasted absolutely disgusting-- like weight watchers ice cream back before they figured out how to make non-fat ice cream seem creamy-- it had ice crystals in it and you had to slice it with a knife. Meanwhile, we had "normal" ice cream in the fridge, but of course, it wasn't for me.
At one point, when I was about 14, I think, my dad made a weight chart for me, where I was supposed to weigh every day and record my weights until I got back down to 120. I still have that chart. I think in his scientific opinion, it was supposed to take 2 weeks for me to lose 11 lbs.
My parents finally backed off, and I left home, but the bad pattern was already in place. I was a secret binger, and I kept it up even when I was in college and beyond.
To this day, my mom still has this whole way of talking about food and eating that makes me completely crazy. She can't eat a single bite without rationalizing it. She always talks about the exact quantity of food she eats (half a sandwich, a cup of soup, a few bites of a cookie...) She takes incredibly small portions and then eats more at the stove. She comments on what everyone else is eating all the time.
I decided that I would NEVER raise my own kids like that, and I'm happy to say that I've managed to raise two girls to their late teens early twenties who do not have any disordered eating or body image issues. They think it is HILARIOUS the way their grandma talks about food, and now I can laugh when I hear them teasing her and saying "I only had half a sandwich..." In fact, they have even got her to laugh at herself a little bit after all of these years
The one thing I really don't agree about in the article is the idea that you should keep junk food out of the house. I've always cooked and fed my children very healthy meals. But I always made sure to bring junk into the house in moderation-- sometimes they have bowls of ice cream, sometimes they eat chips, occasionally, they drink soda. I've always found that scarcity makes any food more desirable for kids. When I was a kid, my friends' houses always had a lot more junk food than mine and it held less power for them. My own experience has been that if you feed kid healthy meals, they will like healthy meals and they will eat junk in moderation. At Halloween, I handed them their candy bags and said "have at it..." All of them ate themselves sick at least once, and all of them turned out to be those kind of kids who have leftover candy rotting in their rooms that they forget about-- all my life I wanted to be one of those kids.
I figured out the danger of food restricting a long time ago on my own, and I'm so glad that eventually the science caught up.
|
|
|
07-30-2014, 02:48 PM
|
#21
|
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 146
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by ubergirl
I've always found that scarcity makes any food more desirable for kids. When I was a kid, my friends' houses always had a lot more junk food than mine and it held less power for them.
|
Interestingly, when I was a teenager, I couldn't wait to go to my friend's house because SHE had Doritos. SHE never ate the Doritos - so I would sit there at her family's table eating the Doritos by myself and feeling horribly guilty on several counts. (Don't get me wrong - my friend and her mom were also in the kitchen, but my friend had no desire to gorge on Doritos. Her mom was being nice offering me food).
My mother didn't keep anything in the house - chips, ice cream (rarely), fatty foods... She was very restrictive and we often did diets together when I was a teenager. It was one of the only ways we ever bonded and the only thing we really had in common: losing weight and buying clothes, and being generally very good little women.
|
|
|
08-01-2014, 02:46 AM
|
#22
|
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,607
S/C/G: 215/188/150
Height: 5'4"
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by ubergirl
Thank you for posting this article.
I am the classic case of someone who grew up in a food restricted environment. My mom had body image issues of her own and my dad was tall, skinny, and preferred that every one else come in that shape.
I was probably one of those "reactive" eaters discussed in the article. Some of my earliest memories revolve around birthday cake-- I remember sitting and HOPING that I would get the corner slice with all of the frosting roses.
My mom, thinking she was going to "keep me thin" pestered me constantly about food and weight from the time I was about 7 years old. She did not keep much junk in the house. We snacked on fruit and drank skim milk. Never had sugary cereal, and she cooked meals. I clearly remember how she hid my Halloween candy in a high cupboard because she was "afraid I was going to eat it all.."
Things got a lot worse when I started to grow and mature a bit earlier than my peers. I remember so clearly that when I was in middle school I was starving all the time, and my mom used to send me to school with "diet lunches". At first, she gave me only half a sandwich, and then, she just gave me a tupperware with plain tuna some carrot sticks, and a piece of fruit. Not exactly what you might want to serve a girl who is in the middle of her growth spurt! I remember worrying constantly that I wasn't going to get enough to eat. Since the dinner meal was also closely monitored, I started to sneak food and eat in secret. During this entire time, I was not just normal weight, but also a competitive athlete. I have no idea why it was that my mom thought I was SO FAT. I guess it was because I had a more mature body shape than my peers at that time. I was absolutely normal weight.
Then, I got the bright idea to join Weight Watchers at age 12. I lost 18 pounds (from 138 to 120). I could not maintain a weight of 120, obviously, since I was growing and 120 was too low for me. So I spent the next several years struggling to get back to 120 which meant a lot of starvation diets followed by sneaking food. It makes me sad when I think about my young teen self. I used to eat diet food that tasted absolutely disgusting-- like weight watchers ice cream back before they figured out how to make non-fat ice cream seem creamy-- it had ice crystals in it and you had to slice it with a knife. Meanwhile, we had "normal" ice cream in the fridge, but of course, it wasn't for me.
At one point, when I was about 14, I think, my dad made a weight chart for me, where I was supposed to weigh every day and record my weights until I got back down to 120. I still have that chart. I think in his scientific opinion, it was supposed to take 2 weeks for me to lose 11 lbs.
My parents finally backed off, and I left home, but the bad pattern was already in place. I was a secret binger, and I kept it up even when I was in college and beyond.
To this day, my mom still has this whole way of talking about food and eating that makes me completely crazy. She can't eat a single bite without rationalizing it. She always talks about the exact quantity of food she eats (half a sandwich, a cup of soup, a few bites of a cookie...) She takes incredibly small portions and then eats more at the stove. She comments on what everyone else is eating all the time.
I decided that I would NEVER raise my own kids like that, and I'm happy to say that I've managed to raise two girls to their late teens early twenties who do not have any disordered eating or body image issues. They think it is HILARIOUS the way their grandma talks about food, and now I can laugh when I hear them teasing her and saying "I only had half a sandwich..." In fact, they have even got her to laugh at herself a little bit after all of these years
The one thing I really don't agree about in the article is the idea that you should keep junk food out of the house. I've always cooked and fed my children very healthy meals. But I always made sure to bring junk into the house in moderation-- sometimes they have bowls of ice cream, sometimes they eat chips, occasionally, they drink soda. I've always found that scarcity makes any food more desirable for kids. When I was a kid, my friends' houses always had a lot more junk food than mine and it held less power for them. My own experience has been that if you feed kid healthy meals, they will like healthy meals and they will eat junk in moderation. At Halloween, I handed them their candy bags and said "have at it..." All of them ate themselves sick at least once, and all of them turned out to be those kind of kids who have leftover candy rotting in their rooms that they forget about-- all my life I wanted to be one of those kids.
I it....and not much has been happening.
I found out the danger of food restricting a long time ago on my own, and I'm so glad that eventually the science caught up.
|
An amazing story, thank you for sharing! You must be so proud to have raised such wonderful daughters.
I suspect that there are many mothers of daughters who control food intake. It must be partially because of the mothers dysfunctional eating and lots to do with the high expectations of their daughters. They want to spare thm the troubles of being overweight in someway and have a glamorous feminine life.
|
|
|
09-14-2014, 11:22 PM
|
#23
|
Pending Email Confirmation
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 129
S/C/G: 247/161/132
Height: 5'6"
|
BIG weight issues in my family with super-critical and food-controlling mother. Food was both reward and punishment at the same time -- cake offered in one hand, and afterwards punishment for having eaten it. Very odd.
Anyways, the result was three overweight children who turned into two morbidly obese adults and one overweight/obese adult.
Sister has been very overweight/morbidly obese her entire adult life. She is married to a "normal weighted" man and has 2 children.
She made the specific effort to not use food in this way. To not mention food at all, really. If the kids want to eat, they eat. If not, they don't. No mention of weight or weight issues in the house. No dieting overtly or covertly. Husband does the majority of cooking and it's balanced and healthy. Sister's issue was binge eating/sneak eating at work and in the car. NOW...her 2 kids -- boy who is now 24 is very slender. Strong but wiry. Never had a weight issue. Daughter is 17. Never had a weight issue. Normal weight, normal size. Food in that house is a non-issue, never discussed, never mentioned.
NOW....2 years ago, Sister decided enough is enough. Cut out all the crap in her diet completely. Stuck to food Husband was cooking. Packed her lunch every day. Joined the gym. Does cardio and weight training. No mention of diet, no speaking of weight, no nothing. Just shut up and put her money where her mouth is.
2 years later. Sister has lost easily 70 lbs. Still heavy but into size 12/14 vice the 26/28 she used to wear (at 5 foot 3). Seriously looks GOOD. Happy. Dedicated. Wants to lose another 30 lbs and has her new life firmly in place.
SO maybe there IS something to this -- if you make food a big deal, it'll always be a BIG deal. Just my personal experience
Last edited by misspixie; 09-14-2014 at 11:24 PM.
|
|
|
09-15-2014, 07:03 AM
|
#24
|
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,607
S/C/G: 215/188/150
Height: 5'4"
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by misspixie
SO maybe there IS something to this -- if you make food a big deal, it'll always be a BIG deal. Just my personal experience
|
In your case maybe it wasn't you or your sister who made it a big deal, maybe it was your mother. But yes I completely agree, making it a big deal usually spins out of control one way or the other. That's why I find it so difficult to diet, food becomes this huge ISSUE 24/7 and then I can't take the pressure anymore and binge.
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:13 AM.
|