[guacamole]

http://my-big-fat-revenge.oxygen.com/#fbid=cD0qwSIlM1b

Just saw an episode of this show and wondered if any of you had seen it? The show profiled 2 women who had lost weight and then went back to confront people in their lives who had shamed them when they were overweight. They basically set up elaborate hoaxes to try to turn the tables on their "fat-haters." I guess the confrontations were supposed to be the final step in their healing after all of the years of feeling unhealthy and unloved.

Although I totally understand the desire to have a triumphant last word after the weight has been lost, for me, the best revenge would be to live well and enjoy my new life. One woman confronted her mother, and I can understand the need to try and change an existing relationship in order for it to move forward in a healthier way. However, another story involved a girl confronting her ex-boyfriend with whom she has no further contact with. To me, that seemed unnecessary and petty. If you really are more confident and embarking on a new life, than there is no need to waste another minute on people from your past who once made you feel worthless.

I just felt like the show has a negative premise, and didn't inspire people to lose weight for health and self esteem, but rather for revenge. I wonder how many of the participants will keep the weight off if their motivation was so petty and external?

What is your opinion?

[ICUwishing]

My opinion: I agree with you completely. It seems to me that people are so desperate for an easy buck and/or attention that they are willing to showcase all of their mediocrity. Why exactly is this stuff entertainment? Unnecessary and petty ... you said it well.

[ILoveVegetables]

Honestly, I don't like the idea of the show at all. I can completely imagine the exhilaration and triumph of losing weight, but the fact that they're doing it just to confront people who put them down is childish and petty. It seems like they don't think that they can stand up for themselves unless they are thin, and it puts across the ridiculous message that they (and, by extension, all of us) aren't worth anything until they lose weight.

[guacamole]

I think that the show emphasizes for me what I already knew - weight loss - or any self improvement for that matter - needs to be for ourselves. I was struck by the daughter who had her mother come and watch a play that portrayed their interactions over her weight. She was hoping that her mother, by seeing her behavior portrayed by an actress on stage, would finally "get" how cruel she had been. The daughter came out after the show with a big tearful speech and the mother would barely look up from her cell phone to listen. The mother didn't feel sorry for what she had said or done. She really didn't get it. In the end she said she was sorry for how her daughter felt, but the confrontation was not the life changing event for her as it was for her daughter. I think if we seek validation for ourselves in others, we will never find peace. We have to find it within ourselves.

[20lbtogo]

I haven't seen the show but I do think it sort of plays up everyone's desire to show off their self-improvement (weight loss, plastic surgery, or whatever). I think all of us have had that little daydream of looking fabulous and running into an ex-boyfriend, an old classmate that used to tease you and now weighs more than you, etc. I'll admit, sometimes those little daydreams are what motivate me to finish that last five minutes on the elliptical or walk past that cupcake. However I can't imagine actually confronting someone, but maybe that is just me and my situation that I'm 40, married, and don't have anyone I really need to "stick it to", just a few people that I would like to make a wee bit jealous or regretful.

[Mrs Snark]

I think the show sounds terrible. Plus, doing the confrontation after the weight loss makes it sound like you can't stand up for yourself until you're thin, which is crap.

Originally Posted by guacamole

I think if we seek validation for ourselves in others, we will never find peace. We have to find it within ourselves.

I think this is so true.

[patns]

Plus maintenance is life long. This would put the person confronted on the lookout for any slip up, especially if that person is someone you still are in contact with.