"Counterpoint" articles have been added, entitled Free Speech: It's a Beautiful Thing and Yes, Fat People Exist: A Vote in Favor of More Diverse Bodies on TV
So many of us feel we don't deserve a "real life," and definitely not a "public life," until we reach some arbitrary level of social acceptability. .
I feel this way. I just realized it the other day. I have these thoughts..."I can't wait to go out and dance in a hot dress when I'm skinnier...I bet I'll meet a great guy when I'm skinnier...I can't wait to allow people to take pictures of me when I'm skinnier...I'd love to go out with my friends, but I look so gross and fat...
It's like I don't want people to "view" me until I'm less disgusting to them.
"Counterpoint" articles have been added, entitled Free Speech: It's a Beautiful Thing and Yes, Fat People Exist: A Vote in Favor of More Diverse Bodies on TV
Oh, she is totally allowed to say it. I won't argue otherwise. And I'm totally allowed to cancel my subscription to Marie Claire (done) and never buy it again.
I'm probably the only person in the world who isn't outraged by this article. I don't like it or agree with her, but I understand her opinion.
I know my point of view is unpopular and have already been accused of being "a zealot and a convert", having lost weight. Because somehow, were I still overweight, I also don't think I would have felt that way. People can post their opinion, and the author of the article did it in a very public space. Her opinion happened to be incredibly insensitive and not PC, but she was asked to write an opinion and she did. Kudos for her honesty, too bad it was the wrong place for it.
I want to say both of the main actors on mike and molly are quite good looking. And fat. And their comments are real, as in hits the nail on the head, about struggles with weight, body image and food (well, as real as a sitcom would allow.)
It is fun and sweet and not a little predictable and dopey.
As for the blog post...bfd.....there is stupidity and hate everywhere.
I think there is a difference between having an opinion and just being plain mean. Saying people should lose weight- yeah- valid opinion- saying a fat person walking across the room DISGUSTS you? That's just RUDE.
Opinion isn't free passage to be cruel. I don't mind her saying you shouldn't be overweight- but she was callous- I hope her overweight friends stop speaking to her- I know I would cut off a friendship with her. I'd always be thinking "damn so all those times she said nice things to me she was really disgusted by me?"
As an aside, I didn't know until I followed the links above that the show Huge has been canceled after its 1st season. That makes me sad. Despite being aimed at teens, I liked the show and particularly Nikki Blonsky a lot. I wish there was a show like that when I was a teenager.
Thanks for sharing that article. My reply follows.
How sick of you!7:21:26 PMFriday, October 29, 2010
Posted by:BBWRN Report Abuse
Never gave Marie Claire a second thought until now. Maybe I've seen the magazine waiting at the checkout...what an introduction! Those two people couldn't possibly be healthy you say. Well, at 286 lbs (I've lost since then) I worked as an ICU nurse on my feet for 13 hrs a day. When high school students come to shadow me they very often struggle to keep up. Additionally, I see new nurses in their 20's struggle with the physical demands until their body adjusts. Part of my reason for overeating includes the stress of my job-watching people die everyday and the weight of responsibility where human life is concerned....digest that. My coping mechanism is what it is, I help people to a degree you would never understand and leave work everyday mentally drained. Maybe a job so frivalous as yours would afford me the opportunity to be a workout queen, huh?
The issue I have is that she sets up overweight people for a no-win situation. We're not supposed to be this fat, so we should exercise. But, don't exercise in front of her, because if walking across the room disgusts her, she could quite possibly explode if she saw me doing jumping jacks.
Her post wasn't well thought out or researched, and it wasn't professionally written. And it definitely wasn't the least bit sensitive. I also feel like it goes against what Marie Claire claims is their vision and mission statement.
I cancelled my subscription and let Marie Claire know exactly why: I don't pay people to insult me.
If the post had been only about fat PDA's "disturbing" her, it wouldn't have made me crumble inside. It was the implication that I am so disgusting that I can't cross a room without making people vomit or pass out from the horror.
It is the "fat dilemma," the obligation to protect the world from the disgusting sight of you. You must exercise, but by God, you must never let anyone see you do it. If you have any moment of pleasure, you're somehow stealing it from someone more deserving. You don't deserve friends or lovers, or any scrap of happiness until you lose the weight. I don't know how you're supposed to lose weight when you have (and are entitled) to no pleasures, and no support network (except maybe other fatties who must do so by yelling and cursing at you).
Most detrimental is the idea that you can shame people into losing weight. I never once found horrible treatment motivating, it just made me feel obligated to protect the world from the sight of me, and protect myself from the judgement of the outside world. Isolation does not motivate, it crushes.
As a person who claims to have had an eating disorder, she's incredibly cruel and insensitive to people who even might suffer from one themselves. The fear of being disgusting to others, should be something she's intimately familiar with (if she ever did truly suffer from anorexia). I've had friends who've had anorexia and bulimia, and I never felt an ounce of judgement from them. If anything, they felt kinship because they saw themselves as obese too (even if they clearly weren't).
There's very little you can say cruelly that you can't say neutrally (I'm not even asking for sensitivity or compassion). The article was meant to wound (I don't believe for a second that it was unintentional, you don't call someone disgusting especially jut for existing if you don't want to hurt them).
Really could you look someone in the face and say with a clear conscience, "Don't take it personally, but you disgust me. Gee, that couldn't possibly offend you?"
Her apology felt more like "I'm sorry you fat people don't realize how disgusting you are to us decent normal people?"
I'm probably the only person in the world who isn't outraged by this article. I don't like it or agree with her, but I understand her opinion.
I know my point of view is unpopular and have already been accused of being "a zealot and a convert", having lost weight. Because somehow, were I still overweight, I also don't think I would have felt that way. People can post their opinion, and the author of the article did it in a very public space. Her opinion happened to be incredibly insensitive and not PC, but she was asked to write an opinion and she did. Kudos for her honesty, too bad it was the wrong place for it.
No you are not the only person not outraged. I was not either. I personally think that the article did exactly what it was supposed to do, get attention. You are right, she did exactly what she was supposed to do, state an opinion. Shes a BLOGGER guys, their sole purpose is to get people talking. Marie Claire has more attention now, sure a few people cancel their subscriptions, but it is not those people that they are trying to attract, it is the new people. The new readers. Some of those new readers, will come because of this article, and stay because of everything else. I can guarantee that they have more new business, than old business that canceled. You can cancel your subscription, that is not going to change a thing for their bottom line. You already paid your year. By continuing to give it attention, in some ways it is feeding the beast.
I started to cry while reading the article and a few of the comments. It's someone actually coming out and saying what I've always feared people were thinking about me. I've been feeling worse and worse about myself lately when I'm out in public. I never feel like anyone will accept me anywhere.
I just realized it the other day. I have these thoughts..."I can't wait to go out and dance in a hot dress when I'm skinnier...I bet I'll meet a great guy when I'm skinnier...I can't wait to allow people to take pictures of me when I'm skinnier...I'd love to go out with my friends, but I look so gross and fat...
