Hey, i read your post and i hear you. It is very hard to find that balance between feeling restricted and creating healthy habits. this is what i do now, for a living. i help ppl in the same situation, because i was there before. i spent 16 years with eating disorders! Anorexia, binging, dieting, binging again.. it was a mess! And like you i told myself i was not that big fora long time. But i actually was not comfortable and carried about 10 extra kilos at all time! (15lbs +-) I found the right way to go about losing weight by creating the perfect relationship with food and now i NEVER count calories, NEVER feel restricted and NEVER wish i could have a treat! Mainly because i have treats! It is the way i prepare my food and what i eat that made the difference. Knowledge is power and this is why i created live lean health. I would love to chat more, if i can assist in any way.
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