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Do you think you'll be happy at goal?

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Old 03-26-2013, 08:32 AM   #1
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Default Do you think you'll be happy at goal?

I've lost over 60lbs so far and have dropped from a size 26/28 to a 16/18. I would like to get rid of another 40lbs and be wearing a size 14 but I am actually at a weight and dress size I originally said I would be very happy to reach. People keep saying that I look loads better but I really don't feel like I look any better and health wise I am less healthy now than I was at my starting weight (although I know that my long term health will be much better now).

I just don't think I can picture feeling happy with my body at any weight.
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Old 03-26-2013, 12:19 PM   #2
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Hi Athel,

First of all, you are an inspiration to me because I am currently a size 26/28 and am just starting my weight loss journey.

When trying to set my goals I struggled with the numbers. My first thought was I wanted to shop on the "other" side of the store not in the very back corners where the plus size departments usually are. Then I tried the "what is the number on the scale" idea and thought I should lose about 150 pounds. However, for me it is more about how I feel and look rather than the number the scale shows. So right now it is about getting to a healthy size and then going from there. I know that I will always be playing with the numbers whether they are on the scale or the size of my clothes. For me it is about where I am comfortable physically and mentally.

I was very excited when I read that you lost over 60 pounds and are in a 16/18 (GREAT JOB!)...that is a great accomplishment and one I hope to achieve also.

Not sure if this helps...just my $.02 :-)
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Old 03-26-2013, 02:45 PM   #3
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Funnily enough, I was wondering about this today too! My sister was very worried about my little nephew when he was born as he was very ill. Now he is in perfect health and today my sister told me she was worried because "he doesn't smile as much as he could"!! It strikes me that sometimes it is impossible to be happy, as there are so many things to think about and take into account in life. It made me realise that, just like you, I'm worried that losing the weight will never make me happy either....
I've lost about 40 pounds so far and I can see a difference in my body and it makes me feel a bit better. But I don't seem to have changed clothes size at all and I assume, therefore, that the rest of the world probably can't tell! I've started noticing things that my body does or looks like that I didn't notice when I weighed more, and I am worried that this will only get worse the more weight I lose.
Congratulations too, by the way! I will be so happy when I get to 60 pounds down! You should be proud of yourself
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Old 03-26-2013, 02:49 PM   #4
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Congrats on your awesome weightloss so far!!

I started at 328 and my dream weight was to be 199, that if I made it there then all in the world would be good and I'd be closing in on fitting in a 16.

Now that I am closing in on 199 and getting so close to wearing a 16, I now realize I am not content here and want to keep going. My new goal will be to shoot for a solid size 12-14 so if the sizes run small, I will easily fit into a 16 without having to go plus size.

I don't know if I will ever be happy at any weight either, I've done so much damage to my body over the years. My 199 this time is far more droopy and old looking than when I did it 10 years ago.
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Old 03-26-2013, 04:56 PM   #5
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on your weight loss.

For me my Happiness does not come from weightl loss... If you mean like being proud of my progress and accomplishments then ...I would say It Is A Big Yes

I am proud of myself for being to face the truth about myself...and having the Courage to do something about it.
I am a work in progress, there will always be and are things I should and will be addressing ...weight,attitudes,knowledge base,spiritually,physically,personally,in my professional life.

The nice thing about weight is ....WE Really hold the Keys to the Castle...and we can modify ,revamp and just stay where we are ...it is all up to us to decide.

I reached Goal on Jan31,2013 and decided I wanted to lose more weight ,so now I have lost over 100 pounds in 9 months.
I do the Ideal Protein diet with a Wonderful Coach and I am very blessed to say the least.
Good Luck and see you at Goal
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Old 03-26-2013, 05:18 PM   #6
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This is a very important topic, IMO.

I've found that the happiness part is more of an inner thing and not an outter thing. In theory I should be happy at this weight, it's lower (by far) than I ever thought I'd get. I fit into sizes I never dreamed of. I'm still working on my body through exercise and continuing to eat well, but I've also switch focus to the mental, emotional, spiritual aspect of it all and I seem to be "getting" it finally. Will I ever be happy with my body? Gosh I hope so, but at this point I know it really doesn't have to do with the number on the scale.
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Old 03-26-2013, 05:21 PM   #7
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I absolutely will. I hang way too much on my body, and my satisfaction with it.
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Old 03-26-2013, 05:23 PM   #8
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Happiness is relative and I think it really depends on individual personality. I'm much happier with the way I look now than when I started but I know that I need to keep going. It's so much easier going shopping for clothes and I'm not nearly as self conscious when I'm out in public as I used to be. My body is far from perfect and I realize that there is no such thing as a perfect body so I aim to be as fit and healthy as I can be.
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Old 03-26-2013, 05:35 PM   #9
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I think I will be happIER when I get to goal but will I be happy overall? I don't know. It still is a mental and emotional process for me, not just physical. I am still learning to accept that my body will never look like a 27 year old's (one that has never been overweight/obese.) I will have loose skin in my stomach and droopy saggy boobs once I reach goal, while it sucks, I still accept that because I'd rather have these than be 230 again.
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Old 03-26-2013, 08:58 PM   #10
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I think I'll be happy. I don't think I'll have as many bad days at least. Being overweight takes a huge toll on my confidence and emotional state - as well as feeling tired and exhausted at the end of the day. I get frustrated not having clothes to wear and not feeling attractive. I don't want to be seen. I'm not 100% if it's the total cause of my depression, but I think it's a huge part. There are lots of overweight people who live exciting and full lives, I'm just not one of them. I think my weight holds me back.
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Old 03-26-2013, 09:13 PM   #11
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I will be happy. I am (mostly but with issues) happy anyway so I am just going completely manic with the weight loss at the moment and that will just get worse. To a casual onlooker it looks like a midlife crisis at age 38! My growing concern however, and one that has been covered elsewhere, is that I am getting hooked on the loss and I don't know how I will cope when I don't have to lose any more.

I get a real buzz every day from seeing the weight go down on the scale (when it does). To not have that kick everyday someday will be difficult for me. I hope I can adjust to that. I'm a pretty intense guy that really gets into anything he does...a bit all or nothing...which is how I got heavy in the first place i.e. too much nothing.
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Old 03-27-2013, 03:16 AM   #12
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I don't think it will MAKE me happy. But I will be happy with what I've achieved and I will definitely be happier to be fit. I'm using intuitive eating, so I'm already happy that my behaviour around food is better and more controlled - more easy. I'm happy with my fitness progress, but of course I want more. I do not have unrealistic expectations about getting 'small'. I simply want to be well into the normal sizes - so like ElvisLover if things fit small I have some choice. I have a large frame so the tiny sizes are beyond my reach anyway.

I am also happy that I'm living a life of maintenance today with the way I'm losing weight.
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Old 03-27-2013, 05:30 AM   #13
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Happy/ier with my body: yes.
Happy with life: who knows? I'm sure that life will still have its low points for me, even at a lower weight, but maybe I'll be happier if I can tackle those issues with a slim waist too
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Old 03-27-2013, 07:58 AM   #14
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Thanks for the replies - lots to think about
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Old 03-27-2013, 09:48 AM   #15
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Both of these:

Quote:
Originally Posted by IanG View Post
I will be happy. I am (mostly but with issues) happy anyway so I am just going completely manic with the weight loss at the moment and that will just get worse. To a casual onlooker it looks like a midlife crisis at age 38! My growing concern however, and one that has been covered elsewhere, is that I am getting hooked on the loss and I don't know how I will cope when I don't have to lose any more.

I get a real buzz every day from seeing the weight go down on the scale (when it does). To not have that kick everyday someday will be difficult for me. I hope I can adjust to that. I'm a pretty intense guy that really gets into anything he does...a bit all or nothing...which is how I got heavy in the first place i.e. too much nothing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickieBoom View Post
Happiness is relative and I think it really depends on individual personality. I'm much happier with the way I look now than when I started but I know that I need to keep going. It's so much easier going shopping for clothes and I'm not nearly as self conscious when I'm out in public as I used to be. My body is far from perfect and I realize that there is no such thing as a perfect body so I aim to be as fit and healthy as I can be.
Did you mean happy in general, or just happy with the weight loss and resulting body?

If you meant happiness with our weight loss and bodies at goal specifically, then ChickieBoom summed up my feelings. If you meant overall happiness, then IanG summed up my feelings.

I have been a a happy person before starting my weight loss. I have a lot to be grateful for. A loving wife. Three wonderful kids. Things in my life are going great. And while I wanted to lose weight in the past, I never felt that strongly about it to make a big commitment to losing weight. People lose weight for different reasons. I think when you're young, you are more likely to be motivated by body image. When you're young, we seem to think we are immortal. But as we get older, and realize that obesity is a serious condition that can lead to major health problems and shorten our lifespans, I think that becomes more of a motivator than looks. At least that was the case for me. Because now that I have three young children, I want to do everything I can to be around as long as possible to be there for them. While I have a way to go to reach my goal, I already feel better about myself because I have come a long way towards getting healthier.

I also see a difference in how I feel physically. My knees and feet feel much better than they used to now that there is 120 less pounds of me to carry. I am also not out of breath when I walk up a few stairs or carry on light exercise. I get tie my shoes without a strain. I can get down on my knee or sit down on the ground without having to completely lay down -- like I used to have to do.

For me, weight loss goal vs. happiness is not a zero sum game. As ChickieBoom wisely said, it is relative. I will continue to be happier the closer I get to my goal. Will I be completely happy there? Again, I will be much happier than I was. But I suspect the question of I will be completely happy will depend on my expectations and whether my weight loss meets up with them. I have no illusions that my body at 220 at age 44 - after losing 180 pounds - is going to look like my body did at age 20 (the last time I was at 220). I already know that isn't going to be the case. But since my main concern isn't body image, that isn't going to keep me from being happy.

Having said all that, the weight loss for the sake of body appearance has been nice too. Its a great feeling to fit into smaller clothes and the way I look in them -- compared to the way I used to look when i was heavier. And I am sure that this happiness will also increase as I get closer to my goal. I've said all along that my goal is just a rough estimate, based upon my lowest adult weight back when I was 20 years old. The funny thing about that is I remember being at that weight and NOT being completely happy with it then. I had just come off a 40 pound weight loss and was a size 38. Its funny, I have a picture of myself at that age burned in my mind. I was looking at my reflection in a window, wearing my new size 38 Z Cavaricci jeans (which were the style of the day), and I remember thinking to myself that I still looked fat. NOW, as I look back at myself and the only picture that I have of myself at that weight, I would be thrilled to look like that again! It is amazing how one's perspective can change.
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