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Old 01-08-2013, 08:08 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 590

Default Grief Weight

I was here a long time ago, and achieved all my goals.

But within a week of me hitting a dress size and weight I could live with - my father was rushed into hospital and, six months on, died. So basically I stopped caring.

That was a few years back and over the past few years I have regained all the weight I had lost plus another half stone.

I had a very slow and sensible approach to weight loss, often only losing 1/2lb a week or less, as I have PCOS. So it was a whole lifestyle change and a way of life i thought I would maintain, as it wasn't a crash or faddy diet/exercise regime - just common sense, really. But I hadn't factored in my dad dying just as I hit target.

It hit me so hard as my mum died when I was a child so he had been my mum and dad, really. All the travellig backwards and forwards in the last months took their toll. I came back here once, a couple of years back, but still wasn't psyched up enough.

Now, finally, I feel ready and am back.

I have given up running, and as I am 51 now, think that is too punishing on my knees (plus I live somewhere remote so only felt safe running with my dog who also died the same year as dad, believe it or not, so running is out of the question). For my 5oth birthday, I got a bike which I love - and will be using that at least 3 times a week. Only dropped off in my cycling last summer as it rained non stop...

I intend to lose weight the slow way, same as before (it took me 2 years), just eating sensibly, whole foods mainly, low GI because of my PCOS, and exercising more. Would love some support from anyone in the same boat - anyone here but most especially anyone else with 'grief weight' or PCOS, as the challenges are a bit different. I also have to spend time figuring out why I gave up so completely, the minute disaster struck, so it never happens again. Would love to hear from any oldies, too who have been on the site a long time.

Anyway for anyone who remembers me, yes it's PhatPhoenix and here I am - again!
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Old 01-08-2013, 08:22 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davis, Ca
Posts: 23,149

S/C/G: 204/114/120

Height: 5'


Hi Phat and welcome back ! I am so sorry to hear of the losses you have had to endure. Congratulations on starting to get back to a healthy weight.
Goal 12/21/2007
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Old 01-08-2013, 09:36 AM   #3
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: A UK Chick in Lisbon
Posts: 1,073

S/C/G: 224/201.0/150

Height: 5'7


HI Phat, nice to meet you

So sorry to hear of your loss but really pleased you feel you're in the rigth place to tackle your weight again.

Your plan of losing slowly but surely sounds great.

I'm not any help with PCOS I'm afraid but sure others will.

Grief and weight gain is something I don't really talk about, not even on here anonymously where I seem to manage to be truly honest about everything else when it comes to my weight loss battle But I do understand when loss and grief lead to eating to excess and simply not caring about anything and then eating more, hating yourslf for it before eating even more.

I've been that person, I kind of still am, but I'm battling each day to keep her at bay so that I can succeed in being fit and healthy and can learn to care about my appearance and my life.

I have wobbles, I still wonder sometimes what's the point, even though I know absolutely what the point is. I don't know how loss and food got so embroiled. But I do know I have dealt better with the loss than the food addiction that came with it thus far. Well, I say that, but perhaps what I mean is I've dealt better with hiding the issues related to loss than I have the issues related to food.

Anyway, whatever I'm trying to say, all I need to say now is I absolutely understand the obesity being a factor of grief part.

Good luck and keep posting, check out the UK chicks chat thread too
No fads, no unattainable targets.... just me and my good choices

Daily weigh ins, planned meals, controlled treats and alcohol and a more active, positive outlook on my lifestyle. Could this finally be the recipe for success?!
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Old 01-08-2013, 09:40 AM   #4
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Cambridgeshire, UK
Posts: 41

S/C/G: 241/241/180

Height: 5ft 2


Hello from a newbie!

I can relate to some of what your saying as when I lost my Mum I put on alot of weight. It's 9 years ago now but I never have lost it but only now feel ready to do something about it. I've always been a comfort eater and when I lost Mum I didn't really care how I looked as I was so wrapped up in my grief. I must admit it took a long time for me to start to feel 'normal' again but even when I did I wasn't bothered about my weight.
I don't want to be on a diet, I want to eat healthily long term and actually do some exercise.
So welcome back to the forum and I hope you find the support you need. I've only been here a few days but its amazing the hints and tips I've picked up already.

Good luck

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Old 01-09-2013, 07:00 AM   #5
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Posts: 590


Thanks, bargoo, takingcontrol and sharelle, for your lovely words.
Started January 2013:

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Old 01-11-2013, 11:39 AM   #6
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Ireland
Posts: 78

S/C/G: 192/174/147

Height: 5ft2


"but perhaps what I mean is I've dealt better with hiding the issues related to loss than I have the issues related to food" wow, well said Takingcontrol!!!!

I suppose deep down we know (well maybe not everyone with a weight problem so I am certainly generalising here!) that our weight issues don't just stem from the fact that we eat too much ..... there's usually a deeper reason.

I can certainly relate PhatPhoenix and big hugs and kisses to you ... I think you should change your name to something more positive like UsedtobePhatPhoenixnowgoingtobeslimPhoenix .... might be a bit long though!!

Take care

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