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I have had a baaaaaad coupla days!!!

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Old 08-25-2012, 06:33 AM   #1
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Default I have had a baaaaaad coupla days!!!

Hey friends and fellow scale slaves.
I thought I would confess to you all that I have had a seriously baaaaaaaad coupla days and feel pooh.
This is the first time since I started that I have had the mindset of "nuts to it...I am always going to be fat I might as well punish myself by eating cr*p I don't really want" I have had a few off plan days but NOTHING and I mean NOTHING as bad as this!
I know I have done well to lose as much as I have in a realtively short space of time but just looking at the amount still to go makes me want to weep.
Every time I try to up my exercise level something happens ( bad knee...achey back...flood in to the cellar!).
So I ate chocolate...and more chocolate until I felt sick....why???????
My husband was really shocked as I have been skipping along finding it hard at times but overcoming the voice in my head telling me to eat. Yesterday I couldn't shut it up!
Am hoping that my on-line friends will help me get my head around it all.
Sorry if I sound a bit pathetic but I feel a bit lost and lonely and very very very far away from 196lbs.
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short term goal: under 300lbs by Christmas 2014
long term goal: July 2015.....Mother-of-the-Bride under 230lbs (one minute they are babies the next you are waving goodbye!)
First short term goal is Memory Walk ( 8 miles) Oct 5th 2014 for dementia in memory of my Mum who started to suffer at only 58.

lowest weight:19 stone 8 (Nov 2012 after 6 months on 3FC)
current weight 328
highest weight 364lbs
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Old 08-25-2012, 07:04 AM   #2
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Awwww, babes, for what it is worth I know exactly how you feel. and that it does not feel good one bit! *hugs* I know what you mean about 'punishing yourself'... it is a funny one, like I love love love LOVE food, but sometimes when I am eating, like especially what I'd class as a binge, there is no joy in it, just shoving food in my motuh that I hardly even like until I feel sick and awful. Eating cheap, junky food that takes no love or care to make because I am a cheap junky person who doesn't deserve love and care.

That is the bad voice MW! Who tells us to eat, and worse than that tells us we are worthless and bad and no point even trying to work on ourselves. Am like a cartoon character with the devil and angel on each shoulder, sadly the devil wins sometimes.

Do you have any idea what triggered it at all? You ARE doing soooo well, I can't tell you how in awe of you I am; I think of the regulrs here, me and you have the longest the journey. You are a little older than me and I know that mkes it harder for weightloss plus habits get more ingrained, yet you have absolutely put me to shame with how well you have done. You are just so inspiring and I wish i could be like you. xxxxx
When the lbs ahead go into triple figures, it can be very daunting, and make you want to give up. I know that feeling, sometimes I hate my weightloss ticker because it looks rubbish, I have lost over a stone which is more than I ever have before but that little butterfly is still soooo far left!! The best thing I can think is not to think of the whole goal. Yes, 'ideal weight' might be far off bu it is not as if you have to wait until then to feel better. As every stone falls off you will continue to feel a little fitter, healthier, more confident... this is all to enjoy as you go! You are already beginning to enjoy this, as you get fitter with your walks!

You haven't finished the journey but you started and that is the important thing. Aawwww, MW, I promise you aren't alone... I can't speak for anyone else here but I know exacctly how you feel bout everything you say, and you can always talk to me if you want for what it is worth. Now, it is a Saturday, I think you should go and treat yourself for how well you've done so far; favourite newspaper read over a coffee in a favourite cafe? New book/beauty product/album? Or even just a nice bath or something. I like to do that, it gives me something to plan and look forward to and focus on other than food and just, well, I like having treats, hehe. Stay strong xxxxxx
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Old 08-25-2012, 01:53 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoseLo View Post
Awwww, babes, for what it is worth I know exactly how you feel. and that it does not feel good one bit! *hugs* I know what you mean about 'punishing yourself'... it is a funny one, like I love love love LOVE food, but sometimes when I am eating, like especially what I'd class as a binge, there is no joy in it, just shoving food in my motuh that I hardly even like until I feel sick and awful. Eating cheap, junky food that takes no love or care to make because I am a cheap junky person who doesn't deserve love and care.

That is the bad voice MW! Who tells us to eat, and worse than that tells us we are worthless and bad and no point even trying to work on ourselves. Am like a cartoon character with the devil and angel on each shoulder, sadly the devil wins sometimes.

Do you have any idea what triggered it at all? You ARE doing soooo well, I can't tell you how in awe of you I am; I think of the regulrs here, me and you have the longest the journey. You are a little older than me and I know that mkes it harder for weightloss plus habits get more ingrained, yet you have absolutely put me to shame with how well you have done. You are just so inspiring and I wish i could be like you. xxxxx
When the lbs ahead go into triple figures, it can be very daunting, and make you want to give up. I know that feeling, sometimes I hate my weightloss ticker because it looks rubbish, I have lost over a stone which is more than I ever have before but that little butterfly is still soooo far left!! The best thing I can think is not to think of the whole goal. Yes, 'ideal weight' might be far off bu it is not as if you have to wait until then to feel better. As every stone falls off you will continue to feel a little fitter, healthier, more confident... this is all to enjoy as you go! You are already beginning to enjoy this, as you get fitter with your walks!

You haven't finished the journey but you started and that is the important thing. Aawwww, MW, I promise you aren't alone... I can't speak for anyone else here but I know exacctly how you feel bout everything you say, and you can always talk to me if you want for what it is worth. Now, it is a Saturday, I think you should go and treat yourself for how well you've done so far; favourite newspaper read over a coffee in a favourite cafe? New book/beauty product/album? Or even just a nice bath or something. I like to do that, it gives me something to plan and look forward to and focus on other than food and just, well, I like having treats, hehe. Stay strong xxxxxx
Don't ever say that you aren't wise, smart, clever or anything ever again Jose

That was a very well thought out post!

MW, sorry you've had a struggle these past few days. You have done so well, and all you need to do is pick yourself back up again. You can and WILL do this.
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Old 08-26-2012, 09:07 AM   #4
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OK Mountainwalker - man up!

You lost it for a day but your mojo is still there. Sit yourself down and have a good thunk about it. Ask yourself:

Are you losing a little bit too fast?
Are you restricting yourself to superhuman levels?
Have you allowed for a little bit of lifestyle and eating pleasure?

Basically are your expectations a little too high?


Chalk it up to experience, stiffen that upper lip, learn from it and move on!










And don't forget, I may not do sympathy but I will defend your right to cock it up every now and then - as long as you press the reset button
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Old 08-26-2012, 09:38 AM   #5
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Joselo your post nearly made me cry ( again!) it was so caring and wise and it felt so lovely to be described as someone's inspiration!
I feel much better today. I think stef may be right as I am a bit too rigid in my approach. I have tried to build in a bit of flexibility but get a bit scared that the voice will take over and tell me to eat....eat .....eat!
I haven't been able to exercise much apart from a much slower walk with the dogs every day as my little boy comes with me and I think my body misses the serotonin that comes from a bit of hard exercise.
That was coupled with being unable to easily fit into a size 22 when I thought I would be able to and a few days of achey back and knees (bl**dy hormones) topped off with the flood in the cellar just got a bit much.
I went out on my own this morning and did my walk in my fastest time of 45 mins so I was pleased...and sweaty!
Joselo I am so pleased your weight management course is the right thing for you.When is your next session.
Thanks for the pep talk peeps ...onwards and ...um....downwards!!
__________________
short term goal: under 300lbs by Christmas 2014
long term goal: July 2015.....Mother-of-the-Bride under 230lbs (one minute they are babies the next you are waving goodbye!)
First short term goal is Memory Walk ( 8 miles) Oct 5th 2014 for dementia in memory of my Mum who started to suffer at only 58.

lowest weight:19 stone 8 (Nov 2012 after 6 months on 3FC)
current weight 328
highest weight 364lbs
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Old 08-27-2012, 10:07 AM   #6
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Aww, MW Glad you are feeling a bit more positive now. These days where you don't feel so good about it all, and feel very far away from goal, are bound to happen so try not to beat yourself up about it. You ARE doing amazingly well - 65lbs! That's a massive amount! And I think it's not what you do on those "bad" days but what you do afterwards that counts. OK, so food-wise, maybe not great. But pulling yourself out of it and going for walks, and not just giving up completely, that's the best thing you could have done. You're doing so well - don't let a rocky moment derail you.
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Old 09-01-2012, 09:55 AM   #7
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I've just had a couple of days like this too. I thought I'd finally cracked it and that my days of emotional eating were behind me. That's what shook me the most - I've had days where I've been hungrier than usual and gone over on my calories but this is the first time in 8 months that something has had me running for the high calorie, low quality binge foods that I used to eat on a regular basis. I hated myself afterwards but a pep talk from a couple of friends has helped me get back on track. You WILL get there, look how far you've come already
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Old 09-01-2012, 10:34 AM   #8
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dawnie thank you so much for your encouragement and congratulations on your weight loss so far!
__________________
short term goal: under 300lbs by Christmas 2014
long term goal: July 2015.....Mother-of-the-Bride under 230lbs (one minute they are babies the next you are waving goodbye!)
First short term goal is Memory Walk ( 8 miles) Oct 5th 2014 for dementia in memory of my Mum who started to suffer at only 58.

lowest weight:19 stone 8 (Nov 2012 after 6 months on 3FC)
current weight 328
highest weight 364lbs
mountain walker is offline   Reply With Quote
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