Feel so disgusted with myself and enough's enough.

PinkRapunzel · 10-26-2011, 04:34 PM

Hello all.. Hope you are all well!

Well, SO glad I found this place as at last I have some people who understand what it's like day in and day out to live with all that horrible excess fat dragging on your bones all day.

Basically, I am just at the end of my tether. Never felt like this before, I feel utterly miserable and hopeless right now and just need to know that I can lose weight and keep it all off once and for all....

Background story - I am 33, been overweight all my adult life but have had periods where it has been bearable and I have felt good about myself etc, but just lately I can't even face going out anymore because I feel so rotten and disgusted that I have gotten this big and out of control now... I weigh nearly 19 stone in weight and I am 5 feet 7. How did this happen? I have never known what it's like to be fashionable, or to buy clothes that fit me nicely. I feel so depressed about my future and I know the root of it all is my weight. It's holding me back SO much.... I feel so alone.

Going to see the Dr next week and I want to beg him to help me in some way - pills, gastric surgery, anything. I just want to get my life back and be happy...

Sorry for ranting but this is helping just typing this out. Would welcome some encouragement!! I am not always this down in the dumps but I just feel SO unattractive at the moment x

free1 · 10-26-2011, 04:52 PM

WELCOME....You'll find a great bunch of supportive people here. I had over 130 pounds to lose to get to my goal when I started. I've lost a good bit already and am down almost 5 sizes. I know the feeling (I'm 38). Just remember:

1) It doesn't have to be like this always.
2) You really CAN do this.
3) Today can be the first day of your brand new life

Talk with your physician and find what works for you. Start with a plan that you can live with for the rest of your life. Remember, one day at a time, one meal at a a time, one pound at a time.

Sending BIG HUGS your way.....

theox · 10-26-2011, 05:21 PM

Hi PinkRapunzel.

Sorry you're feeling so bad right now. It's really good that you've scheduled an appointment with your doctor to talk about your weight. It's also great that you've joined 3FC - there are a lot of cool chicks here with great weight loss stories and different viewpoints.

From your post it sounds like you might have two separate issues, one being your weight, and the other being your feelings about yourself. It's not uncommon for fat people to be unhappy about their weight at times, and sometimes that can help spur people to make healthy changes in their lives. Feeling hopeless and depressed and isolating oneself because of one's weight is something different - something that's neither necessary, nor is it usually healthy or productive (IMHO

). Maybe I'm interpreting your post incorrectly (if so, sorry), but it sounds like telling your doc how you're feeling and perhaps asking for a referral to a counselor might be helpful, in addition to discussing weight loss options.

Take care. I hope to see you around the boards.

PinkRapunzel · 10-27-2011, 04:48 AM

Good morning Free1 and Theox!

Firstly, thanks for taking the time to reply and giving me such a warm welcome and solid advice. It's so motivating listening to others and knowing that it CAN be done!

Woke up and weighed myself this morning and I have already lost 2 pounds so this has been a massive encouragement for me to do something positive! Like you say, seeing the Dr is a good start isn't it?

I am just cutting back on portion sizes and fat at the mo. Bought a treadmill too, so I know I have the means to do this!

Thanks again guys, I look forward to my new life and making friends on here x x

fullfatfemale · 11-06-2011, 07:54 AM

Hi PinkRapunzel
You've made the first step, and that is amazing! I'm not far in front of you - I started SlimmingWorld about 8 weeks ago, and have lost 17lbs so far, I started at 25st 10 and like you wondered how the **** I had ever let myself go so far. I have never been a normal weight as an adult either, and am 35.
I decided, after much research and thinking about things that Cognitive Behaviour Therapy might be the way forward for me. I asked my GP about it, but he said that how counselling services are stretched for people with 'serious issues' he did not feel justified in referring me! Thanks helpful GP! So I decided to pay for myself, and at £60 per session, I only managed about 6 before I felt I could no longer afford it.
It didn't make me miraculously slim, but it really helped me to deal with my other issues, which I hadn't even thought I had - like feeling lonely (despite having some fabulous friends, a loving hubby and close family) and starting to identify why I overeat like I do!
Anyway - this may be something your GP might consider. Different postcodes seem to get different services!
As I say although this wasn't a miracle cure, it has helped me accept that I can do something about my weight and move on, hopefully to a healthier lifestyle.
Good luck :-)

KatMarie · 11-06-2011, 09:23 AM

I was where you're at about a year and a half ago. I didnt want to go out either because i couldnt find clothes to fit me and was uncomfortable in public. You CAN do this. Go see your doc, figure out a plan, stick to it and use that treadmill. Post and read at 3fc often for support! Good luck :-)

Rosinante · 11-07-2011, 03:24 AM

PinkR - don't feel disgusted with yourself (although I recognize the emotion), feel proud! You've really grasped the nettle and started to change, which is more than so many people do.

Portion control and exercise is a great way to go!

Seeing the doctor before we start any weight loss campaign is always recommended but be sure to tell him/her that you've already got a strategy that is working for you - you don't necessarily want to be sidetracked into another method if you've alread started to see success your own way.

As to mood, I find that as soon as I address my diet and start losing weight, my mood begins to improve too. It's not so much the losing weight per se, it's the sense of being in control that lifts life for me.

Good luck!

Amarantha2 · 11-07-2011, 07:42 PM

I am in agreement with Rosinate, be proud, you are working on things and you will suceed in your objectives!

Sometimes just feeling frustrated all around can be the sign good things are coming your way and that you are in synch with the universe to make those good things hurry up and arrive.

You will succeed! You'll see. Be proud of yourself for these steps you are taking. Woot! That's great!

blueheron777 · 11-08-2011, 08:24 AM

Welcome to 3FC--a very supportive place where you can learn a lot as you get healthier.

It's an old saying but true that long journeys start with a single step. You have already started your journey and deserve to congratulate yourself!

Keep at it one day at a time. Realize that it will take awhile to reach your goal. But the wonderful thing is that with each few pounds you lose, you will notice changes in your body; improvements happen along the way to your goal and they will encourage you on. The best thing is that you can feel good about having turned the situation around--you are no longer eating in a way that will put more weight on.

Lastly, visit 3FC every day and learn what others have done and how they coped with issues along the way. We are here for you!

lulu84 · 11-10-2011, 03:59 AM

PinkR - I totally recognise the way you are feeling - but you shouldn't be so down on yourself. Well done on starting and your first loss. I'm behind you a couple of steps.... I've not lost anything yet! I don't know which plan to follow though - are you following any specific plan? I took this random online diet comparison thing (Rank My Diet i think) and it told me that weight watchers was the best... hmm. Or am I just using the excuse of not knowing how to do it... in order to not have to start....
Fullfatfemale - that stuff about CBT is really interesting... going to look that up now.

bellastarr · 11-10-2011, 09:26 PM

i've been there too.... for almost a year i went literally NOWHERE because i felt so ashamed and embarrassed and disgusted with myself. But as hard as it was I hit rock bottom and finally said enough is enough and started to undo the damage 10 months ago and i am so glad i started then because i look and feel 1,000 times better than i did back then. you can do it. (ps i'm 30 and have also been up and down with my weight my whole life.....)

IsabellaOlivia · 11-11-2011, 07:51 PM

Girl, you're in the right place. Or should I say right forum.

IsobelRose22 · 11-12-2011, 03:27 AM

Hi PinkRapunzel, welcome to 3fc, it really is the most amazing and supportive place in the world. I remember that I started off at 19 1/2 stone at my absolute biggest and got to the point where I hated going out, I hated seeing my friends and family as I didn't want them to see how big I'd gotten, I felt totally alone and depressed, so I pretty much stayed at home and ate for a year. Until one day I finally decided enough was enough and tried to lose weight. Like you I cut down portion sizes, and got a fitness dvd to do at home. That was 3 years ago and since then had various successes and failures where i've lost and regained weight. Since I found myfitnesspal.com and 3fc my weight loss has been amazing and now I'm only 21lbs from my goal weight. If I can do it so can you, just be realistic and set mini goals, celebrate every single lb lost, every success, don't beat yourself up if you have a slip (as we've all have many). We're all here to support you and I look forward to hearing more about your journey

ohadele · 11-12-2011, 08:50 AM

Well, this is my first post, but I saw your thread and felt I just needed to comment. I know completely how you feel. I was there and am still, sometimes. It's really not a nice place.

It's obviously a good idea to see your doctor and rule out any underlying health issues that may be making you hang on to excess weight, but you can definitely do this by exercising and kicking the eating habits you've gotten into.

Just remember... no matter how slow you go, you're lapping everyone who's still got their bum on the sofa!

Good luck (:

P.s. One trick I've used to remind myself just how much I'm eating at meal times is to have a sip of water after every mouthful - it keeps you hydrated and fills you up just enough because you're resting between bites. Another trick is thoroughly chewing everything you eat: your brain uses your chews to 'measure' how full you are.

fullfatfemale · 11-12-2011, 12:10 PM

Hi All
PinkRapunzel, just thought I'd share a couple of tricks that I am hoping will help to keep me on the straight and narrow - and boy do i need those at the mo!
Firstly, I take a photo of myself in my undies once a month - it's not a pretty sight, but the first, and most recent photos, show a small but clear difference - it helps on the low days when I can't see the loss so far.
Then I also write a blog - it's not earth shattering, but its my feelings and it helps me to know that somewhere out in the ether, someone is reading it (I know this cos I have one follower that is not a friend!) and people do make lovely comments, which all help.
You can check out my blog if you would like by googling fullfatfemale.
Anyway, keep up the good work. xx