Slim women talking...

[Stella]

I`m sure they are not aware of it but sometimes when I hear slim women talking about weight issues it pushes a button with me. Despite knowing that I should not take it personal, I sort of do. If a slim woman talks about not wanting ot be fat I wonder how awful she would think about being me, and it makes me want to lose weigh teven more.

I had a particular colleague who was not super skinny but not fat either. I will never forget her for saying two things: Once she said there is no way she will ever allow herself to weigh 60kg (130lb). The other thing was that her belly was exactly 1 metre when she was pregnant. I weighed way over 60kg, and my belly was way larger than 1 metre - even though I was not pregnant.

My belly is my achilles heel, and I cannot help feeling hurt when I hear other women talking about how disgusting it is to have a big belly, etc. Another, very small waisted colleague of mine once shouted through the whole staff room how she would "want to die" if she ever had a "gut". The exaggeration and superficiality (or is it superficialness???) of her made me want to shake her, although I realised that, of course, I was only feeling that way because she was talking about something which is an issue for me. (If she said she would want to die if she had small breasts I would not even have noticed.)

Stella

[JulieJ08]

You know, I think it's perfectly reasonable for anyone to decide what weight is best for them and to maintain it. I think the problem is not that someone smaller than you (generic you, not you you) thinks they have something to lose, but that they attach words to it like disgusting, and want to die.

I'd rather be happy with myself but know I have 60 pounds to lose all over again than to have only 5 pounds to lose and just hate and disgust myself over it. Sometimes the weight is easier to lose than the self-loathing.

[misspiggy408]

Originally Posted by Stella

My belly is my achilles heel, and I cannot help feeling hurt when I hear other women talking about how disgusting it is to have a big belly, etc.

Me too! I feel your pain. Out of all of my body parts, that is the HARDEST for me to get rid of, and even to take criticism about.

[Michelle1210]

Yes I hear you loud and clear, I understand we have weight issues but please if your thin or smaller than me , keep you pie hole closed!!I have a friend who is very very thin, who makes comments about how fat she is....Hello,do you not see who you are talking too, if you think 108 lbs is fat, then what am I?....grrrrr ......

[rosiem]

Yeah this is totally annoying, it always makes me feel really bad too. I just try and remember everyone has their own crap to deal with and i'm sure there are many people who would be happy to be at my weight even if i'm not happy with it...On the other hand, there is no need to be obnoctious about it like those women! They are just insensitive a-holes who are obviously not thinking about the feelings of others. So, channel your rage into something constructive! Someone on 3fc was saying they visualized their jerk ex-boyfriend's face on the bottom of their running shoes as they jogged - i gave this a shot yesterday and it worked a charm :-) haha. Water off a duck's back....

[Thighs Be Gone]

I agree. It is in poor taste. I hear you completely.

It's the same as discussing your boob job or your trip to hawaii around a person that is hungry. Just not right. No way, no how.

There is a big 'ole world out there.

[zenor77]

I don't think thin women who complain about their weight are comparing themselves to larger women. I think they are either dealing with self-esteem issues (like all of us do) or they are comparing themselves to what they have weighed in the past.

I have a very tall and very skinny co-worker who was complaining abut her thighs the other day. I told her that she was probably the skinniest person at work (she is.) Her response was that she'd put weight on in the last 6-months. Now granted, I don't see it. But I know I notice even a small gain on myself, so I think that is where that is coming from.

Women of all sizes have body issues and I think we should all band together and work on changing the things that cause these self-esteem issues. I would love it if magazines would stop airbrushing models for once... we'd all feel better to see a fashion model with cellulite!

[aneleh]

When I say I'd like to lose weight, or dislike my belly being big or something it has nothing to do with anyone else!! It means that I don't like it on ME, it doesn't mean I'm judging other people for being overweight. Obviously I don't comment on my weight in front of people who are overweight, but I still have issues too!!

[Stella]

Originally Posted by JulieJ08

I think the problem is not that someone smaller than you (generic you, not you you) thinks they have something to lose, but that they attach words to it like disgusting, and want to die.

Yes, Julie, that`s it. If they say a big belly is disgusting, they say, in other words, that I am disgusting, because I have a big belly.

Stella

[Stella]

Originally Posted by rosiem

i'm sure there are many people who would be happy to be at my weight even if i'm not happy with it...

That`s true, but I would never discuss my weight loss plans with them, leave alone complain about my body or body fat in general. It`s insensitive at the least.

Stella.

[StringBean]

I know what you mean. Right in the beginning of my weightloss, I was at work and talking to my boss about different diets and one of my work mates butted in on the conversation saying she needed to go on a diet herself as she had weighed herself that morning and was 9 stone 5 (131 pounds) and was disgusted with herself! We are the same height and build and at the time I was at least 40-45 pounds heavier than her. You can imagine how great that made me feel.

[Cleophas]

When people who are thinner than me make comments that they're disgusted with themselves because they're fat I do the following:

1) Look down at myself
2) Look at them
3) Very slowly raise my eyebrow

If they're not completely oblivious then they'll realise they put their foot in their mouth they'll either apologise or make up some amusing rubbish about how 'but it doesn't apply to you'.

[chudge]

Yep i hate it when you get the whole 'Oh but i mean..... I'm fat for me' remark when they have really similar build/height e.t.c it's just people putting themselves down i don't think they mean it intentionally. Doesn't stop me wanting to punch them though lol

[Stella]

Originally Posted by Cleophas

When people who are thinner than me make comments that they're disgusted with themselves because they're fat I do the following:

1) Look down at myself
2) Look at them
3) Very slowly raise my eyebrow

I like that one! They will probably come out with the "It`s about whow I *feel*" thing but I guess this would make them think before they talk the next time!

Stella

thing is though...we are all different, im not huge, nor am i little..in fact you would probably look at me and say ...you dont need to lose weight but I feel like i do, I look at myself much the same way as everyone else we all have our things to worry about.
im afraid that im not going to hold my tongue in front of someone who is bigger than me, just like i dont expect people to hold their tongues when they say they want bigger boobs or talk about babies...(two hang ups of mine as i want bigger boobs and am struggling with pcos)

someone made a comment about when they hear someone going on about their weight who is skinny they look at themselves look up and then raise their eyebrows....why make that person feel awful? whats the point..if they out right call you fat..then yeah kick off..but what they are talking about it themselves...not you..its about them.

I have people who have 5 kids moaning cus they have 5 kids..i have none i want only one but i dont begrudge them moaning about it cus its their worries...

i think sometimes we get so wrapped up in ourselves that we think the whole world is looking and judging us...well their not,in reality they dont really care