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How Many Cows Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb?

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Old 10-03-2006, 03:41 PM   #1
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Default How Many Cows Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb?

Your guess is as good as mine.
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Old 10-03-2006, 06:38 PM   #2
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It's the udder cows responsibility
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Old 10-03-2006, 06:49 PM   #3
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Oh nooooooooo!!!!! You can't just start a new thread and leave me hanging like that. Get back here and say something to amuse me.

Did you realize there are no Halloween smileys? How did this happen? How can we have Valentine smileys and St. Patty's day smileys but no witches, ghosts and pumpkin smileys?

After tomorrow we will have exactly one month until the election that will tell me if I'm moving or staying. I'm going nutz here. If it passes I'm going to be happy but incredibly sad.... and if it doesn't pass, then I have to wait until next spring when they put it back on the ballot.

What healthy thing should I fix for dinner? This healthy cooking gig is getting boring. I wish Oprah's effin cook would come over and make me something to eat. I wouldn't have a bit of trouble eating well if someone would just cook it for me. oh. and shop for it too.

There's a radio ad that's been running around here that's driving me crazy. It's for a roofing company. They say "if you want things done correct and thorough...." Don't they know it should be correctly and throughly???? They play it constantly. I need to go write a letter to the radio station.....
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Old 10-03-2006, 07:33 PM   #4
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Oh Wabby in Limboland... if it doesn't go through next month does this mean another year of uncertainty???? Noooooo , that is just not right! I love your Grandpa Jim stories...what a hoot he must be ! DH is at his watering hole and will bring home a grilled chicken salad .. which i will have with home made ice tea... as we watch NCIS. If you lived closer I would have you over and you could eat with us ...

Cowpeach... dinner fer you tonight sounds like 2 excedrins.. You poor dear... I can only surmise that other teachers become immune to the high pitch wails of the childruns... I think it will be a fabu thanksgiving weekend with DS and LCP.. I think you should knit drumstick caps for the occassion.

Bagz is Aunt flo still with you???? I effin miss your rants.

Kiwi, sounds like you've rubbed off on Wabby... Letters must be written!!!!

DH is home.... time to eat!
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Old 10-03-2006, 09:41 PM   #5
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WELL!!! someone finally misses my rants---i have been back from the fall foliage tour for a few days ,but we have had three effin ships since then and there is one due tomorrow and the EFFIN Queen Mary II is in port on SUNDAY which is the day we have our TURKEY dinner and i CAN'T even get to the cottage where we usually have the Thanksgiving Celebration since i have to ENTERTAIN all the Brits who arrive and wander about the city. I had two very loud mouthed and CLUMSY yankee broads in the shop today---they BOTH managed to knock over two displays {one of them onto my back as i had leaned over to pick something up} and one of them almost dropped a glass display case off the counter by pulling the top of it toward her so hard that it nearly tipped over onto the cement floor===as it was,she knocke all the earrings off their moorings----------HOT DAMN I WAS SO DISCOMBOBULATED---TO TOP IT OFF ONE OF THE WELL KNOWN SHOP LIFTERS WHO ALWAYS COMES BY WHEN THE MARKET IS FULL OF CRUISE SHIP PASSENGERS WAS TRYING ON RINGS AND HOPING TO STEAL ONE---- i gave her a dirty look and she whipped around with her hand on her hip and hollered at me ----"PROBLEM????????"----I ignored her cause i was still dealing with my bulls in the china shop.------------is that enough ranting for now,or will i tell you about the woman who called when i wasn't home and then when i called her back she asked me "who answered your phone when i called earlier?"---i told her it was ds and she said " WELL YOU BETTER TEACH HIM SOME PHONE MANNERS OR HE ISN'T GOING TO MAKE OUT VERY WELL IN THIS WORLD " { ds was nervous cause he didn't know who she was and he wouldn't tell her my cell phone number---he said a teacher told them to never give out information on the telephone to people you don't know} OKAY---THAT IS ENOUGH FOR NOW----I AM STILL STRESSED FROM MY DAY====AND READING ABOUT PEACHERS AND HER FOUR YEAR OLD SCREAMERS HAS ME ALL TENSED UP---- please someone shut me up!!!!{you have shatzi to blame for this carrying on!!!}
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Old 10-04-2006, 02:30 AM   #6
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Talking I want to go for drinks at the Sea Dog!!!

Gahhhh! Felling TOTALLY unequipped to deal with real life. I'd really like to start feeling like an adult some time soon.

Speaking of the treacherous Aunt Flo - DH took Monday off because Tuesday was a holiday anyway (Germany Unity Day, which everyone just ignores) and we went to one of those big furniture places in the morning to check out kitchens. We looked around for a while and then DH said he wanted to talk to a salesperson and get some advice. So of course we got roped into two hours of 3D- computer-kitchen planning. During that time I was getting more and more uncomfortable, cramps and stuff and thinking that something was definitely not doing its job right despite mega double super plus protection with wings. If I had known how bad it was I would have excused myself and RUN to the ladies room. Managed not to ruin any of their furniture, but it was a close call. Haven't decided on the kitchen yet.

Canadian Thanksgiving is always the second Monday in October. Always, always, always. I guess I'll be makin' pumpkin pie and turkey or something. Ho hum. Autumn always depresses me a bit.

I am SO damn sick of being fat. I may do Yoga for Dummies today. That won't make me thin, but it might make me a bit more flexible, which would be nice since my bones creak when I stand up these days.

Some clever person decided that ds10's class needed to have a class picnic tomorrow at 3 p.m. because we all know that October is SUCH a good month for picnics. And 3 is such a great time since it starts getting dark at about 6 now. Hopefully it's rain and we can all be sensible and stay home.

Ds13 never tells me anything either. He says he just wants to be left alone and spends most of his time lying on his bed in his room. I can see this getting much worse. The little guy, on the other hand, tells me EVERYTHING 50 times over until I can't stand it any more. Gotta love those kids, eh?
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Old 10-04-2006, 12:53 PM   #7
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Youz cows make my day. There's nothing that makes me happier than to check here and find lots of posting.

Bagzie, you should know that I love your rants. You are the most amusing ranter I know. Should have known it would be the YANKS who were loud mouthed and obnoxious. Those Brits are so much more refined..... the person who was giving your DS advice on his phone manners needs a few lessons herself.... What a beeeotch.... your avatar is sooo very pretty. I love autumn leaves too, just hate to think about what comes after. Cold. Gray. Rain.

Sugar, I'm sick of being fat too. I'm actually following my WW plan pretty much. Have you ever considered doing the WW online program? There's a website I've been lurking at ... http://www.***************.net/ ... that's been helpful as far as the message board having tons of recipes and advice.... and of course 3fatchicks has plenty of that too. The thing I haven't been doing is exercising, but I figure one thing at a time......
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mega double super plus protection with wings
heeee. guess you should have bought the monster mega double super plus protection with wings. You'd think dear Aunty would just slowly fade away, wouldn't you? Seems like she has to give us extra doses of misery at the end of her career.

Yep, Schatzi, it would add on another 6 months, until the election next spring, and then possibly another 6 months until the following fall election.... after next spring we could pull out and decide to just stay, but then again after next spring an escalator clause kicks in and the price goes up every day so we would be stupid to do that.They count on our greed to get us through.

I'm waiting to hear some adorable children stories from the Peach.
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Old 10-04-2006, 01:21 PM   #8
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Default It takes 2, but lord knows how they get in there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Schatzi View Post
It's the udder cows responsibility
Good one, Schatzi!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wabby View Post
I wouldn't have a bit of trouble eating well if someone would just cook it for me. oh. and shop for it too.
Same here. I think I hate the shopping most of all. You shop for it, I'll cook it. Then we just have to figure out how to do that from 2 coasts....

I can imagine the wait is driving you crazy. Surely they will approve the issue, I mean are there any real objections?

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If you lived closer I would have you over and you could eat with us ...
Hey, wouldn't it be cool if we lived close enough to form a cooking collective? Each of us could cook once a week or something, and we could all eat together. Or we could cook together and take the food home. We could do "once a month cooking" for the whole lot of us. Ha. Someday when I live in a commune, eh?

My sweet dd is planning to come home for the weekend. She has to get back on Sunday though; her Kathak dance class is going to a performance of a dance troupe, incredibly enough of the same obscure style of dance. Well, maybe it's not so obscure in the world of culture and actual stuff going on.

oo, I found a description of the performance: Cool, huh?

Anyway, I have to go think about what I need to do before Friday.

Kiwi
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Old 10-04-2006, 02:33 PM   #9
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Kiwi, ppl's objections are the usual ones - they're tired of the traffic congestion & over crowded schools that growth brings.

As soon as you figure out a way for the cooking co-op to work, count me in. Food always tastes better when someone else cooks it for you. Enjoy the time w/ DD.
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Old 10-04-2006, 06:38 PM   #10
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Cooking ... which reminds me... twas a past discussion about Brined foods... what are these briny dishes.. I think I would like to do a chicken or turkey... which reminds of another thing...didn't one of the cowsies have a recipe for brined thanksgiving turkey??? I am getting b o r e d of making the same crap for dinner all the time... ho hum...
Open faced RB with gravy, mashed taters and corn for DH tonight... I had a few slices of the RB and some bean salad... YAWN...

Kiwi, Kathak dance looks like fun ! I especially like the outfits... (I found another website that gave a clipette as an intro to the site.. looks a bit like bollywood dancing... I so love the saris ....

Suggie.. GADZOOKS !!!! how horrifying, painful, and embarraskin!!!!
"child free" status aside.. I am sooooo glad I dont get my "eriod P" (my gfren use to call it that ..lol!!!) I swear 2 weeks out of every month I felt like crap. Ferget Wings - Jumbo Jets is what it sounds like you needed .--at least they make the "wings" now.. in years of yore I seem to recall white elasticy thongish thing with a myriad of safety pins to pin it to yer "bloomers", and the pad had these strappy things that you fed through a buckle device...WHO MADE THIS CONTRAPTION!!! Geez, ya needed a degree in mechanical engineering to assemble the bloody thing .. and then it would come undone and the pad ended up protecting the crevass of yer thigh!!!! or GAWD FERBID a Safety Pin BINKS open in CLASS and you are being STABBED .. (my rant compliments of Bagz )
Bagzilla GREAT RANT !!!! Nice broad to tell you DS needs phone manners.. What an arse!!!!


Peachcheeks, we all want to hear about yer day darlin'

Painty and Cherry and Frappe , come out to play cowsies....
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Old 10-05-2006, 01:07 PM   #11
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Kiwi, Kathak dance looks like fun ! I especially like the outfits..
Doesn't it though! Did you catch those sets of bells around their ankles?

Well, we've had our scrap for the day around here. We are planning to go to parents' weekend at DD's school in a few weeks and I was trying to get an idea of what things we would try to participate in; there are a number of lectures, performances, tours etc. DH doesn't particularly want to go to anything that DD is not actually in, which limits things to the coffee house where she is (hopefully) performing the night before the activities start and the maybe 10 minute performance when her dance class does a number the next night. We are driving 7 hours and staying in a hotel for 3 days for this event. I was not a little annoyed that he couldn't muster up any interest in anything, although I can't say I was particularly surprised. But when he suggested maybe he could just take the bus home after the things he wanted to see were finished... well, I think steam came out of my ears.

Anyway, DD's coming home for the weekend at about 2 in the morning tomorrow apparently, so I suppose I ought to go vacuum her room. Or actually just send Rosie the Robot in there. Oh yes, modern technology. I love it.

Kiwi
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Old 10-05-2006, 01:19 PM   #12
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Schatzi, I'm the turkey briner here. I'll get the recipe from home and email it to you.... unless the rest of the cowsies want it too. It makes the very best turkey you've ever tasted. I always thought turkey was turkey, but this ain't even in the same category as the basic roasted bird. It's a long involved process, but entirely worth it.... I'm tired of the same ol' same ol' for dinner too. Try this one for a good low cal dinner - 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts, season w/ pepper, paprika & garlic salt, brown in non stick skillet w/ a spray of Pam. Pour 1 C. ketchup & 1 C. diet coke over, cover, reduce heat and simmer 30 minutes. Remove lid, increase heat and cook until sauce reduces (about 10 minutes - watch it so it doesn't burn). Good over rice. I also add some sliced onions or green peppers to the sauce. Sounds like it would be icky, but it's really yummy. I also add some paprika to the sauce to spice it up a bit.

Yes, Schatz, I'm old enough to remember the torture device before the invention of self stick mouse beds.

My banker person wanted to take me out to lunch so I didn't bring my usual Lean Cuisine. She called and cancelled so now I have no lunch and I cleaned my desk for nuthin'.
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Old 10-05-2006, 01:30 PM   #13
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Poor Kiwi -
Quote:
DH doesn't particularly want to go to anything that DD is not actually in
You need to make friends w/ a classmate's mom who would like to hang out w/ you for these events. I'd be happy to fill in.... too bad I'm on the wrong coast.

DH just sold one car ('48 Ford streetrod that he built over the last 5 years) and bought a '32 Ford 3 window coupe body & frame that he's going to build. It's his dream car ---- I figure I won't see him for the next 6 months............... I need a project too.... I'm going to be bored this winter if I don't come up with something.
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Old 10-05-2006, 04:56 PM   #14
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My banker person wanted to take me out to lunch so I didn't bring my usual Lean Cuisine. She called and cancelled so now I have no lunch and I cleaned my desk for nuthin'.
That was mean. Well, at least you have a clean desk.

Cooking with Diet Coke. What a concept ! There isn't any weird chemical reaction between the aspartame and the acids in the ketchup? I don't want your stomach to blow up like those Mentos and Diet Coke experiments. Just kidding!

I used some of my leftover brined chicken breasts to make some yummy dinners. I like to pound em good, pat some seasoned salt or lemon-pepper seasoning on em and brown em in olive oil, then saute up some mushrooms, onions, what have you, and make a nice little brown sauce -- a little flour, a little liquid: water, broth, wine, lemon juice, even beer. Maybe not quite as interesting as Diet Coke and ketchup, but it's gooooood.

Oprah has women getting old on her show today. I watched a few minutes of it -- Nora Ephron was on there saying that on her 62nd birthday she got a moustache as a surprise present. Apparently I am ahead of my time. I'm starting to think that you really can't grow old "gracefully" without laying out thousands in plastic surgery. Not that I ever will, probably. I watched the new Bachelor series the other day and this guy is an Italian prince who grew up in the US. He's in his mid-30s and they had his parents on. His father looked about like you'd expect; around 65 or so. The mother on the other hand had faked lips (why would anyone do that to themselves; it's so ugly!) and other signs of plastic surgery. I thought it was kinda pitiful. Who'd want their mother to look nearly the same age as their girlfriends, except sort of freakishly plumped and stretched?

Woohoo, more ranting!

Kiwi
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Old 10-05-2006, 08:20 PM   #15
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Y'all I am scared. Had to get a routine physical for my new job and had to be in the first 10 days. He won't pass me. Blood in urine. I have no pain or anything. Plus, the medicine says I must stay out of the sun while taking it and the job is pretty much outside 2 hours a day. What do I do?
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