First of all, I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you guys for helping me and thinking of me while I was having a rough time.
Gayle, thank you so much for keeping the threads going for us--you did such a wonderful job!!!!!! I remember when Sherry used to do the polls and I loved answering them--I don't know why I haven't done any as moderator. Just not thinking, I guess. Par for the course for me
Cat is doing better with the modifed diet. I have to take her in a week from Monday and get her sugar tested again.
I'm a "school-bus" eater. I was conditioned as a child to eat as soon as I got off the bus, then I'd eat supper later that night, too. To this day, as soon as I get home from work I want to EAT!
I just had a thought that I posted in another thread that I wanted to share here with my girls....
Itsw about how i felt and was 3 or so years ago
When your a teen and unhappy about somehting like weight , It can be some of the most tramatizing moments . When I was 13 I was called so many names that even to this day I shutter and really have such a hard time even speaking of the names I was called.
I once went shoppping with my mom when I was 13 and go so upset in the ar that nothing really fit me anymore and it was raining so hard , that I started crying as soon as we got into the car. I couldnt hold it. I told her what the kids called me and how much it was hurting me, I screamed in the car and I remember sitting there for at least 45 minutes bawling while my mom held me and rubbed my back and hair. I almost threw up in the car I was crying so much! I then went on the atkins and lost at least 25 lbs , but I didnt realize it was a lifestyle thing and gained it back but funny how the name calling ended when I lost weight and those kids tried to be my friend once I wasnt a cow anymore. even though I gained some weight back kids never called me names since but I still havent forgotten. I had suicidal thoughts at that period in my life. When walking to school I would think , if I jump in front of that car what will happen... mind you I am 12-13 years old!!! Thats how much it can affect you!
Then I went through the ridicule of teenage boys . A kid named tyler , thought it would be funny to ask me out , so he did and I was like uh ok , I didnt realize why this boy wanted to ask me out I thought he genuinelly liked me , well it was a joke by the end of the day all him and his friends were laughing at me making fun of me.That pushed me further twords the bridge. I truelt think my best friend saved my life. I tell her that all the day , cause days i sat in my room alone with a razor or thought about the jumping in front of cars , were before I met her. I had almost no friends. No good ones anyway. I was about done with life, than I met her and suprisingly the first time I met her I was like Uh ok this girls a bee-otch dont talk to her , than she prceeded to show me a pciture of her teeth cause she was getting braces. Im ok werido really dont talk to this girl . Well after time she is my best friend. She is the friend I saw last week who noticed my weight change. She is truely my sister . I love her to death . If she died somehow I dont know how I would go on , she makes me so happy. !!
so I know how it feels. ant seem to get rid of those memories , I guess thats why I am so motivated to lose weight.
Then I went through the ridicule of teenage boys . A kid named tyler , thought it would be funny to ask me out , so he did and I was like uh ok , I didnt realize why this boy wanted to ask me out I thought he genuinelly liked me , well it was a joke by the end of the day all him and his friends were laughing at me making fun of me.
Been there and done this, except with me it was in college. One of the basketball players thought it would be "funny" if he told me a teammate wanted to go out with me. I knew he was being cruel, but it still hurt. The other basketball player was actually the one who made me feel better (he told me Micah was an a--h--- and to ignore him). Still, though, once the words are out they HURT.
Tell that friend how much you appreciate her!!!!!!!
Isn't it horrible how we feel about ourselves based on what others say to us? Shouldn't we feel good about ourselves because of what we do rather than what we look like? I often think that every teenager goes through this trauma. I'm involved in a Mother/Daughter charitable organization and believe me, we have all kinds (short, tall, fat, skinny, cute, homely, etc.). Listening to the girls talking amongst themselves, you hear that every one of them has had to deal with some kind of "trauma" brought on by another teen's horrible words (and unfortunately, it doesn't necessarily stop when we cease to be teenagers). I've always maintained the thought that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, but I've learned that some folks' comments, while not meant to be rude/hateful on the spot, can be interpreted by others as just that. I remember the days of coming home from middle school just to lie on my bed and cry. I wouldn't necessarily even remember what made me cry--i just needed to cry. My Mom would be all worried but of course couldn't say the things I needed to hear to make me stop crying. I think that sometimes, we all just need a great big hug from the heart.
Vouge, I can just imagine how you felt. Once you are through with the teenage years, you will realize there is so much more then appearance. Hopefully the kids you go to school with will realize this too. In fact, I have a feeling you are very mature and understand what I am talking about. If the kids at school don't realize how great you are, it is their loss because you are a fabulous person! I believe people come into our lives when we need them the most. Your friend is also your angel to help you through the rough times. I bet she counts her blessings too, to have a friend like you.
CHERYL! YOUR BACK! HAPPY, HAPPY DANCE! LOVE YA! I wondered how kitty was doing!
Vogue-I don't even know what to say. Kids can be so cruel, even older kids. Have you gone through any type of therapy or to a nutritionist? I really wish you would eat a healthy diet, not lopsided. Weight watchers or South Beach are both such a healthy way of eating. I have been through so many diets in my lifetime, that I have learned that you have to eat from all food groups in order to substain a weight. I am so thankful that you have found this group of ladies to help you through your struggling teen years.
Cheryl-Yay!! You are back and you were sorely missed, even though Gayle did an awesome job.
Monica-Good for you on trying to quit. I can't imagine how hard it would be to stop smoking and eat healthy at the same time!
Hi there. Could I join this support group? Let's see...a brief intro:
my name is Crystal, I'm 29 years old, been married 11 years on the 30th of this month. I have four children: Alisa will be eight on the 9th, Ally is 5, Andrew is 3 1/2 and Allison is about 20 months.
I was a part of a group on 3fc during my last pregnancy and afterwards, just faded away.
I lost 30 pounds last year all on my own, but have gained back 20 pounds. I need support.
I had been a stay at home mom until this year. I had homeschooled, but 2 of them started school and I have a job as a teachers aide in a K class at a private school. I work 5 days a week from 8 to noon. It's a fantastic job.
I'm loving staying busy but I'm eating worse.
I did GREAT yesterday. I saw an open bag of donut holes in my classroom and almost stuck my hand in there...I walked away. It was really a test for me and I passed.
I hope to meet all of you and get the support I need and give the support I know I have.
Thanks so much.
God's Servant: Wife, mother of 4, Christian Woman
Homestyle Specialist-AtHome America
Thanks everyone , for some reason I think everyone goes through some sort of a tramua from the time they are 12-13 to around mid 20's . weather a parents or friend dies or pet or weight issues, a period of drugs whatever the matter I belive thats when god is testing our spirtis and showing us a part of life to makes us stronger in the long run. If I never went through that I would have been so hurt so played so tricked so many times I dont think I would have been able to withstand it .
and yeah I have told her before . I love her so much! She is amazed . She really saved my life without her realizing it , and she gave me a big hug for like an hour after I explained that to her. If it werent for her , i dont know if I would be here today thats how much it hurt , everyday , Id didnt know how much longer I coul go on , i felt like everyone was always laughing and talking about me and thats how it would be all my life. I never told my mom any of this but the time I said I was crying in the rain , cause I didnt want to hurt her.
But life is so much better for me. I am so much happier ,I have so many goals and dreams , I could never think that again . I do think sometimes I will be alone forever but thats just called being 16 and having no boyfriend ahah. I think that though if I were to be alone my whole life I would be ok , cause so far so good , I have been fine alone , so if he comes along thats amazing but if he doesnt than i am just as happy.
Dean-I believe people come into our lives when we need them the most. Your friend is also your angel to help you through the rough times- She found our on new years last year her mom was a crack addict , her dad smoked pot and was an alcoholic , she moved out of there house and has had to cal the cops a few times and social services on her parents for going crazy . Her mom tried to beat her up once and she hid in a room and cut her wrists to piss off her mom so she ended up in a mental insttuition. ( Wow life can get twisted. ) Her mom tried ot pick her up and she would rather stay int eh mental place for another day than go wiht her. She calls me on the phone when she sneaked out of her room cause who do you think she wanted support from? Who is the one person she just wanted to hear its going to be ok from?
She hasnt done it since but we still kinda joke about the mental instuituion and the pepole she saw there.
Shelly- No I havent but I have read a few psycology books and i recognize my feelings and problems , that I wont do something extreme. No i havent seen a nutritionist , I am on the atkins diet and after ward I am going to be a vegitarian to maintain my weight and a personal choice but thanks! xoxo
Cheryl - Welcome back!!!!! Glad all in your life is a bit better. An easy time....not for me. All day is hard. Might be 'cause I am retired now and home all day, or because before I would grab a cigarette when I wanted something to eat.
Gayle - Thanks for filling in, you always do such a GREAT job.
Vouge - Kids are TUFF!! I am glad you found a true friend and that you are doing better.
Shelley - Thanks! It is very hard but it is something I want to do for me so I hope I can. Yesterday was a bad day, had 5 but I didn't eat much, my stomach wasn't feeling very good, but today is a new day. Been up for 4 hrs and still smoke free for the day.
Crystal - WELCOME This is a very diverse group of ladies. I might be the oldest but I am still learning. I had 4 girls in 10 years, all before I was 30 so I can relate. Mine are all adults now and on their own, but they are so very close to one another.
Take care all, I hope to be back home tomorrow. I love these grandbabies, but I know why God makes young mothers.
Crystal, WELCOME! WELCOME! Feel free to come here anytime! We are a great group of ladies in all ages! I am 43 with two kids 21 & 7 and am married to a wonderful man. Not so the first time around! LOL!
You will find support here! Just pull up a chair, pour you something to drink and just start chatting. Some of us check in throughout the day at different times, so hopefully we will be here when you need us.
Cheryl, did I tell you I'm happy your back sweetie??? LOL!
Allison, it is so true...teens can say and do horrible things and some never out-grow it in adulthood.
Shelley, I'm sure you experienced a few tears with your two daughters. I guess it is all part of life and hopefully, even with cruel remarks, something good will come of it.
Monica, I quit smoking and gained 30 pounds! BUT the difference is, I didn't realize I ran a higher chance of gaining and I should of found something to do to keep me busy other then stuffing food in my mouth. GOOD LUCK! I FEEL FOR YOU!
Vouge, it sounds like the two of you girls are really good for each other. Is your friend still at home? Is her life better? How sad she has experienced so much in her short life.