Oh man, Kiwi and Wabby, you guys have interesting in-laws too. Sorry about that. I know how it is.
Today I had the humiliating experience of trying to find something relatively formal for New Year's Eve. The size Ls and 16s that I wore last year don't fit. I'm officially out of regular stores now. It's all Lane Bryant from now on. Even though Ws look like tents on me. I need a tent.
I'm just depressed. I have no idea what I'm going to wear for New Year's Eve. It has to be fairly formal.
I hope this is finally the straw that breaks me. I can't keep gaining weight. (Though I have lost some since giving up dairy.) I still think a major part of the problem is that I have not accepted that this is how I look, so it's hard to accept that I have to completely change my life.
But tonight I'm having a lovely dinner of tomatoes and butterbeans.
Sigh-- I meant to be less self-centered, but shopping today really threw me for a loop.
Greetinks
Cherry... I don't know where you are in MO, but Macy's and Dillard's have good Women's departments... and I've found even at Lane Bryant, if you get a good bra (DH calls mine a "cleavage maker"!!) and something lowcut, nobody will say anything negative. Sad, but true... and reliable. We know that when Oprah was "up there" she still had fancy schmancy formal wear... you can do it, too!!
Kiwi.. So the relatives are a little passive agressive about the ones who "marry-in"?!! The Eyetalian bunch I was related to for a while were like that. I don't think they could help themselves... as even though I've been divorced from the Child King for 18 years, they keep in touch and are generally friendly.
As for the Scotch/Chinese/White Elephant exchange... it's important that people know the underlying/unwritten rules... It is SUPPOSED to be "the worse the better"? or who got the neatest thing for under $xxx? or who will act the most out of character really trying to get the best gift? I've done it each way and they're fine... BUT MIXING THEM UP is pretty embarrassing.
Although, there was the white elephant exchange with a bunch of therapists, who happened to also be mostly gay men... there were some lesbians, and (it's a long story) me, one of two token straight people. The weirder the better, and almost always somebody really LIKED it! Had a ball, myself, but DH isn't so keen on those gatherings.
Wabbs, Sorry that GP Jim is so ornery (and near sighted). Can't help wondering what people really get out of insisting they are right even when everyone argues with them.
I'm going to get a glass of water and go to bed.
TTFN
I feel your pain, Cherry. It is depressing. Of course the only way to overcome it for any particular occasion is to plaster on a positive attitude and plunder (blunder?) forth into the department stores. Do you have to wear a dress -- because I think a pair black velvet pants is formal enough for a lot of New Year's Eve parties. That's as far as my thought process has gone though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PainterWoman
Kiwi.. So the relatives are a little passive agressive about the ones who "marry-in"?!!
I suppose that could be part of it. In fact, I should probably just accept that it is. I've seen them treat other in-laws with that combination of affection and rejection (for lack of more accurate terms...and they rhyme...), so there's no reason why I should be any different. I have a tendency to be blind to that sort of thing directed toward me.
I am more p-o'ed than usual about the inlaws today because I've really had enough of them. After the ridiculous scotch auction the other night I learned that my SIL was going to take back the Christmas present that I picked out for her. She wanted "another" hand mixer: she has replaced them with regularity because she uses them so hard. She makes a lot of cookies and such and really needs a solid sturdy stand mixer, but no, she wanted another hand mixer. I insisted to DH that if we just gave her a good stand mixer and she tried it, she would be so happy with it that she'd keep it. So I gave her one similar to mine. I know it's good, I've had it for years and I wouldn't give it up unless someone handed me a free Kitchenaid... She won't even try it. It'll take up too much room, it's more than she needs, and more bullshit. Please note this is the same person who has made DH and me gorgeous handmade quilts 3 times for Christmases when she has said we shouldn't exchange gifts between the adults that year. I guess that is the very definition of passive aggressive. It just seems like a lot of work to go through to one-up someone...
So anyway yesterday we (DH, DD and I) took her and a friend who is visiting her to the movies. We saw the new Narnia movie, which was awesome I must say. Everyone should go see it. We had a really nice time, everybody enjoyed the movie, and we were talking about it on the ride home. And then instead of assuming that we were all sentient human beings, SIL started in on the religious symbolism of the movie. Considering that we had already talked about C.S. Lewis's Christianity, it was just sort annoying to me that she felt she had to explain exactly what the plot meant, religiously. Made me want to be really ugly. I was not. Instead I'm unleashing on you all. Because you understand. right?
Kiwi
P.S. I have written that title down, Wab. Just the title and author's name are rather poetic.
Eeeep! Shopping! Poor Cherry, I know whatcha mean about trying on clothes. I'm usually able to keep my illusory glow about me (my favorite line from when my friend was taking psychology classes) as long as I don't have to face those 3 way mirrors. The good news is, just as Painty pointed out, there are more and more cute larger size clothes around, because there are more ample women than itzy bitzies. Focus on your assets and everyone else will too.
GP Jim usually isn't so difficult, but occasionally DH and I both get tired of being the family members responsible for him. Like the upcoming move -- it will be one more thing to worry about -- what to do w/ GPJ during the upheaval. I'm thinking it would be a good time for him to go on an extended visit to DH's sister's place.
Any of you cowsies have plans for New Years Eve besides our lovely Cherry? I think our plan is to snuggle up and stay warm. It's too icky and rainy to want to go anywhere here. I can't remember the last time I've seen the sun.
Hi! I'm about to make another foray into the world of fancy clothes. Unfortunately, our Dillard's is all out of formals above size 14. Normally, I get lucky there. Painty, you are so right about cleavage-- but unfortunately, cleavage makes me uncomfortable. Sigh.
Kiwi, it's at a local ballroom dancing school (that also has yoga, bellydancing, Zumba, etc.) The owners are ballroom dancing champions. Let's just say a tux would not be too formal. That's obnoxious about your sister in law. I would love a stand mixer! One year, I goofed with presents because my sisters in law decided we weren't exchanging presents among adults, but they didn't tell me. That was the year I made them afghans. I'm still embarassed.
Wabby, I will try to keep that illusory glow about me today. I wish I could see myself the way DH sees me.
Hi Sug P, Bagzzie, Peaches, Lushie, Schatzi, and anyone I might have forgotten!
Wabby.. you hit the nail on the head.. illusionary glow! I have a very TOO HEALTHY and WARPED self vision of what I look like..and when I see pics of myself or catch a FULL glimpse, I'm MORTified! I'M Usually not one fer NY resolutions, since in Schatziworld, every day is the start of a new year.. anyhoo, I needed some inspiration and a kick in the butTOCKSsoo I was surfin the forum yesterday and am bowled over by the Success stories, the folks at the 100lb club and some of the inspirational quotes.. I feel hopeful, realistic, and tryin to get the epithany that struck me once before about getting healthy and fit..It only lasted a year..but it was a wonderful year where I got down to 130 and felt strong and sexy and happy. That epithany was a wonderful experience, which gave me such strength and clarity and purpose... I wonder what exactly happens in them leetle gray cells that produces that ..
New Years was never big with DH and I .. we are usually asleep by 10.. heh heh.. but this year we are going to a japanese hibachi place "mt. Fuji's" (nothin like th eone in the NJWatchung Mts, where you go up a windy mountain and are greeted with sculpted dragons, and pagodas, and koi ponds and gardens...sigh) but its HIBACHI! So we will have dinner, and then head fer DH waterin hole, to watch football,sigh, leave at half time, and be home snug as a bug by 10.
Cherry, Lane Bryant is having an 80% of sale..not sure if its web only, but they do have loverly clothes, so does 5th Avenue if you have that store...and like Wise Wabs says, play up yer assests darlin, whether it be chest or legs or waist! Sexy is as Sexy does!
Jeez, I skipped right over Kiwis postette...
ummm, yup sounds like classic passive aggressive behavior to me.. and some people lack graciousness/ social skills , and some, well Know exactly what they are doin..(they be what my mom use ta call "candy coated poison") If this returning of gifts is a norm fer her with you , then I say F her and the horse she came to town on... and if this is just her norm, then she is just that way. Hurtful nonetheless.
Painty speakum truthum ugh... ya gotta know where they or the event is commin from to put it in a perspective...oh wise paintywomancow. heh heh, me and my "the glass is half full and tis a pretty glass", usually tries to put in the perspective that shines best on the offender.but sometimes, after tooo many rationalizations, ya just gotta come to the conclusion that 1) this aspect of the person sux, 2) i Become indifferent, or 3) well, like i said F her and the horse she came to town on!
hmmm, I thought Lewis became an agnostic or an aetheist after toying with a secular life...and without a doubt the man took his share of mushrooms eh? Any way people read what they want into whatever... just like the Mother Theresa Nun Bun... anyway, Good Bad Evil, Purity, Love Hate.. morality, all part of universal mythology imho.--as long as the movie was good and has a thought provoking message...
I'm listen'n to Steely Dan and gettin jiggy wit it.
I think Schatziworld would be a good place to live.
Kiwonk, I have told you the story of my least favorite sil? I gave her a gift basket of yummy maple syrup, fruit syrups, breakfast stuff along w/ waffle mix. She opened it and said "I make my waffles from scratch", then the next year I gave her bath stuff, fancy soap, bath salts, bubble bath, etc. along w/ a set of makeup and travel bags. She opened it and said "I only take showers and I don't wear makeup and we never travel." That was the last year I gave her a gift. Don't need that noise.
I will now accept all Wabby's SIL gifts since I can't be her real one, I have proclaimed me SIL -de - facto. please send me the smelly soaps, for I doooo take beeeUTi baths.
Hi cows. My illusionary glow is very tarnished today because I am sick AGAIN! That's what you get for being cooped up with the sniffly kids for Christmas holidays. I spent 58 Euros at the pharmacy today for symptom releiving crap to get us through the weekend.
You are all so wonderful and gorgeous and brave and funny and I will really try to read all your posts and write something intelligent tomorrow. Dealing with my two in-laws sounds like a piece o' cake compared to what you've gone through.
We are staying home for New Years, as usual, and that makes me happy, happy, happy. Fondue, fireworks, jelly doughnuts at midnight. Wooooo! I can lie on the couch and whine all I want.
My Aunt who has in the past sent such thoughtful items as:
--The neck massager where the battery compartment was rusted and corrodded over( KIWI Spell check STAT).
--PAJAMAS, From the I am a Freak section of the BIG AND TALL shop, rather than the more appropriate Short and Squat (albeit Cute) Section.. Where the crotch was higher than my head (I'm 5'0 folks)
--A plastic Buddah keychain with flashing eyes when you squeezed it's belly
And this year.. she did kinda, well, better than usual
I got an authentic faux flannel partial lap blanket or large scarf (yeah, I think scarf, iI'm sure it's from the above mentioned I AM A FREAK section she got the PJs from)...
and enclosed in that ever festive Reynolds Wrap .. dead herb clippings.. one in each Foil Packet (not as nice as those foil packet dinner thingies they make) rosemary, sage,thyme and basil.. to go with her final gift of pics of those herbs placed on rice paper.
WE painfully chuckle each year upon approaching the unwrapping of Aunt Alibaba's (that's what I call her) gift. Here's this years Yule convo:
Hon, do you want to open Aunti A's box..
(DH wincing) must I? Please you do it..I'll stoke the fire
I proceeded to unwrap with CAUTION
I am met with Deluxo Reynolds wrap... I am use to this oddness, Ken , not so much..He stokes the fire more....
I open the first of four crumpled foiled things, that if ya didn't know better, were indeed, garbage..to be greeted with a decomposing plant material..
hmm , I splay it open for DH to admire...
We Guess
It has nettles...smells like ... hmm, Hmmm, WHAT HERB IS THIS , much to my chagrin, thru keen observation honed by watching CSI, I determine it to be Rosemary.
WE proceed to the next festive tinfoil delight.. more...d.e.a.d composty like leaves..ugh
This bewildered "I semi amused u r pathetic emotion " continues thru 2 more foil packets..The gift I see is in the identification of these dead plant clippings..
DH does not share my inquisitiveness and ADDS a LOG to the fire.
DH, takes the herbs and flings them in the fire... " I think the foil was the present char" he states drolly.
LOL Schatzi! BTW, I think I mentioned before in this very thread that my mental picture of myself is TOO good. I still find myself expecting to be able to waltz into a regular store and grab a size 10 off the rack! I'm shocked and appalled when I can't!
Sug P, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. That's all you need, huh?
Wabby, I've heard that story before, but it still takes my breath away.
We have a new family member. She's a pale silver part-albino mouse. DS10 (formerly Little Guy) got a gift card (from us) to PetCo, so we went to pick her and her supplies today. We really wanted a gerbil, but they were out. Guess lots of kids got rodents for Christmas. I hope with the consent of their parents! She's lovely, though. I'll take pictures of her and post them on my flickr account (Jenne1989).
Wabby, I've heard that story before, but it still takes my breath away.
That's what happens when you hang around here long enough, Cherry, you get to hear my stories over and over. Kinda like hearing the same old jokes the DH rolls out after he's had a few.
Sorry you feel yucky, Sugar. Not a fun way to see in the New Year, huh? Although the jelly doughnuts sound delish, cold or no.
Time to go home........I'll see you lovely bovines in the New Year!!!!!!
*snort*
