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Old 11-18-2005, 04:15 AM   #76  
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Frogger, hope the boarder is a short lived thing. Really short! I'd be really thrown off by that esp. with baby, work schedules. You did get rid of the other boarder, right? Is your Mom still living w/you? Does she care for Sydney? Cash would help ease financial strain of boarder, of course, but being helpful goes a long way as well. Somehow I don't get the feeling that's happening either. Seems if he had cash and were helpful, he wouldn't be called "worthless". Anyway,
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Old 11-18-2005, 06:02 AM   #77  
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Hello all!

So, this afternoon is confirmed scheduled Interview w/ current employer for the position I bid upon in August...
Am asking for good vibes from all parts of the Ream!

Biggest mental stress w/ this one is what to say to current supervisor who I feel tremendous respect as she has gone way above and beyond for me but in many, many ways cannot change many things as we are watching her authority be overruled and undermined.


It is Friday after all so lets make it the best one we can.....

**********

Thought of the day:

"Forever is composed of nows."
-- Emily Dickinson

Question of the day:

"What do people remember about you?"

*********


Here we go Friday!


Take care all!
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Old 11-18-2005, 07:58 AM   #78  
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Smile Happy Friday -- and where's our Punkinseed?

Good morning, lies!

Have done WI and seen that two of those stupid-don't-believe-them pounds are gone. I really think this every-day weigh is going to be good... Lessee... if I lose two pounds every day... Ok, where's the "bubble-bursting" smiley? Nevertheless, I am encouraged. Have been doing mostly low-GI, although I must admit to the occasional piece of banana. And glass of wine, although I haven't had one all week. Onward! Have been meditating and doing yoga and it makes SUCH a difference. I've been reading a lot about the benefits of meditation lately -- not that I didn't know these things before, but it's always good to be reminded, esp. when trying to get a habit going -- and I just tell self, when self would rather fret or fritter away the time: It's non-negotiable. And then I do it. (looking for "patting self on back" smiley again...)

Anagram, I'm so glad to hear that an insurance issue worked out -- and that you'll be able to get out for a few minutes from time to time soon! That will make your life so much easier. And I'm so impressed by the success of this enormous undertaking. I think it was just at the outer limits of what is humanly possible -- And you did it! I'm sure your darling has recovered so much better -- and SO much more happily! -- because of your incredible strength and devotion!

Kaylets, I'm sending all the good vibes your way all through the day -- I know you'll do great! : Are you reading A Million Little Pieces? I found it rivetting and powerful, if painful. Love the ED quote...

Frogger, I hope your boarder is gone soon. I really don't like my house to be dissaranged that way (not that it's ever that "arranged" ) Also sending you good vibes on the job front...

Amarantha, hope you're recovering!

Aria

EveryQueenie, have a lovely day!

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Old 11-18-2005, 08:28 AM   #79  
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I continue with the good vibes to everyone on the interviews!

Kaylets- BIL has no job (YET). To his credit, he is applying. He HAS to have one, he has child support to pay. Inlaws have completly cut him off (they were paying EVERYTHING. He's 20, they shouldn't have been doing it in the first place. IMO). I don't understand. They didn't do it for DH, I had no one doing it for me, we turning out OK....Just goes to show I guess. Wish they'd give us 1/3 of what they were paying for him!!! I have to feed a hungry 20 year old, which is much like feeding a hungry 1 year old.

anagram-Yes, we got rid of nephew about 4 months ago. He's supposidly in rehab somewhere, but ya know...Can't believe a word he says.
No, Mom has a boyfriend who several months back asked her to move into his home with her. They are very happy and yes, she takes care of Sydney on the days that DH works/sleeps from working. He has her Wed's and Thurs.

Might go to dinner w/my sister tonight and leave the 'boys' at home and Sydney w/mom for a little longer than usual. I need a night out!
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Old 11-19-2005, 03:32 PM   #80  
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Fly-by thread bumper-upper... hope all are well! Food and exercise very very good, plus non-negotiable afternoon meditation working its magic.

Awfully quiet in the palace -- was it something I said?

Kaylets, are you around? I'm dying to know how your interview went yesterday and if you've heard anything from the other people!

Frogger -- did you manage your evening out? I hope you did and had a blast.

Amarantha, are you recovering?

All other s -- how goes it?
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Old 11-19-2005, 05:33 PM   #81  
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Not yet, Arabella. Sorry, this is still a me-me ... well, more of an "aaaccck" ... "when will I feel better" type thang.

Work in shreds, no exercise and eatin' so many bad carbs I'm swellin' up like Toad~!

Someday will do better in supportin' all those herein with their challenges, but too brain dead to be much help ... 'cept, Froggie, ya might wanna rethink this bil thing ... stick a dish towel or a mop in his hand everytime ya see him sittin' and indicate how ya just KNOW he can't stand not to be helpin' out and all since he's stayin' and workin' on improvin' his life and wow ya really admire him for his spirit and oh, when he finishes the dishes, could he just take out the trash, wash the kitchen floor and do the laundry ... WHAT did ya ever do without him?

He can't very well refuse to do any work asked of him, now can he? 'Cause then ya might throw him out and that would be inconvenient in building his future life.
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Old 11-19-2005, 05:37 PM   #82  
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Hilarious, Empress, but I'll bet it would work!
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Old 11-20-2005, 04:19 AM   #83  
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My goodness, the royal environs are quiet this weekend. I hope this is because everyone is having such a jolly good time in this last weekend before the big holiday rush.

Speaking of which, for our American royals, time to make all sorts of plans on how we'll NOT be overdoing the food part of the festivities this week. And for those with job stress, it's one less day of that this week.

For me, my kids/grandkids are coming but they're doing the cooking. And, I hope, the planning. I'll do a turkey breast and the rest is up to them. In the priorities of life, right now the food orgy is low on my list. The family-together part, however, is way up there. DHs birthday is also in the week following Thankgiving so we'll be celebratingthat too while they're here.
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Old 11-20-2005, 10:18 AM   #84  
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Post Yawn. Me again.

Yep, a little echoey in the palace this weekend -- and Friday was quiet, too, if memory serves. All continues to go well here with the no wheat, almost no sugar (occasional glass of wine or bit of chutney or somesuch), mind/body, every day weigh campaign. The 3 unreal pounds are gone again. Yay!

Have a birthday celebration for one of my sisters this evening. Am feeling so on top of things that I don't fear the food in the least.

I've found lots of great guided meditations online, some of them only a few minutes long. Those ones will be just perfect for fitting in here and there through my workday. I did an unguided 20 minute meditation on Friday, though, and was reminded of how powerful a good session is. DH came home and I didn't even really want a glass of wine because I just felt so good already. Wow!

Anagram, your plans for Thanksgiving sound wonderful. I'm so glad that the kids are going to do the cooking! We already had our Thanksgiving in Canada, but I'm already making plans for how not to overdo through the long festive season here. I intend to stay off the wheat and sugar, except perhaps on Christmas day itself. Even there, though, I don't want to go overboard at all. Last year was one of those times where I let go on Christmas and didn't catch myself until... oh, about now Last year I made chocolate cinnamon rolls for Christmas breakfast, which were fabulous. This year I'm going to see if I can make the recipe with spelt, unsweetened chocolate and stevia. I'll foist it on my family first to see how it goes Will be weighing in on Boxing Day, as every day.

Amarantha, "me-mes" and "aaaaaccckkks" are all totally acceptable and welcome. We just want to hear from you! Please look after your royal self and nurture said self better!

K. Let's take this day and do our level best with it. Love to all!



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Old 11-20-2005, 10:51 AM   #85  
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Hello all!

Sorry it took me so long to get here but....

I don't think I did well at all...

and then DH wasnt feeling well yesterday and I suspect some of it is because
of my reaction to what happened in Friday's interview....

So...

Friday I got to the internal interview and looked down as I was crossing the
parking lot to see that I had slopped something down one pant leg from knee
to ankle and on both shoes.... I ran back to the car and found a bottle of
water and was able to at least wipe the shoes clean and get the worst off
the navy slacks... and hope I was sitting down most of the time....

Initially, I sat w/ the dept head who seemed at first seemed very informal
.... couldn't find my resume in her email.... "They only sent me 16 other
appts ..."..... so when I said, "Let me give you one" .... she seemed
slightly impressed but that's debatable....

We talked about my experience and it seems like every time I
mentioned who I worked for it created a negative reaction...? I can't help
who my former dept manager was ...

AND then.... we got onto a very "safe" subject about insurance agent's.... and how the agents expect the "details" to be handled by everyone but themselves....
which is a very popular game to play "rag on the agents" .....

About a year ago, an agent who led a division
made the news because he was found dead in his apartment.
As I said, we were talking about agents and I said how so many of them were
wonderful but that it seemed like the most successful were the ones who were
the most problematic. And without thinking, I mentioned a big sales manager
in CA who has a heart attack and passed away and then the Atlantic division
guy.... "then found dead .." and THAT's when I knew I had stepped on a
minefield....

"You mean So and SO.... ? "
Yes " I said.
And she said, in a very Judge Judy kind of way ""He worked for me for 10 yrs
b/4 he went downtown... We were all very upset when we heard what happened "
and I said ( and this is all true about this man too) " So you know exactly
what I mean, someone so goodlooking, so smart, so charming.... when he
spoke you could see the electricity ..... "

she again repeated that he had worked for her for 10 yrs , talked about what
he did and I couldnt think of another way to
clean that up....
and I just became so overwhelmed, knowing things weren't going weill that
shortly thereafter, she asked me "What else do you want me to know about
yourself?" and I just smiled a little like a deer in the headlights and "
Any more questions?"...( She had mentioned the unit had been very backlogged
and she was very proud of how they had pulled themselves out it... working
lots of weekends....and I had asked was the unit still working those hours
and she slammed her hand on the desk and said " NO, that's all behind us"...
Again, I felt like I was at such a disavantage at that point I was afraid to
say " I am always willing to work OT" and appear greedy or wonder if she was
thinking that extra hours would turn me off)

Anyway, after a few more minutes about what she sees coming ahead for the
dept, ( a question I had asked) she told me she was done w/ me and it was
time to speak to her supervisor of the unit .."Who will be doing the real
interivew details"....

I am not sure, but from what I overhead at security, they forgot about me or
didnt know about the appoinntment although Security did...
My sense of it was that the Manager was on her way out the door when I
showed up and only stayed to talk to me and thats why I saw her first.
She also told me straight out that the vacancy then needed to fill was
because of $$ but that anyone who knows "the company" knows the $$ would never be what
other places were willing to pay.
She asked me my salary expectations and since its already on my application,
I told her what I was making.... and that I understood that was still w/ in
the range for the position.
She also made sure I knew she was in charge of 4 units but what I "read" from all of this was that she would love to know why I was pursuing a job at this "low level" at my age....
My guess is that although I said "Yes, I've done that many times..." the way
the questions were phrased " You only did This, you never did That did you? " ... I would smile and say " Yes, I have, depending on the jurisdiction and product line...." trying to answer in a way that proved I had TONS of experience in that area.

In other words.... It was all downhill after I made the remark about the
agent who was found dead in Fl.and she was looking for excuses to rule me
out......

Maybe I was w/ her 20 minutes and then as she was bringing me back to ther
supervisor, the manager said to the supervisor " See you on Monday..." and that's when I
realized, the manager was done for the day.

The supervisor was very pleasant and had read my resume and even mentioned
the professional society I belonged to at one point.
But it seemed to me like she askd more questions about how the unit I am
currently working in ran than about my experience making me prepared for her unit. She asked 3 or
4 differnent ways how my current unit handled a busy call time, how did we knowthere were calls in queue, how did we get the calls answered when there were calls backed up. But each time she started asking me that, she would say "Not that this would apply to our unit as most of our calls are out going tothe state... you never hear from the agents, you will deal w/ their
Licensing coordinator..." Now, after thinking about it, I wonder if she is
posting for a position in a call center and was trying to get some ideas so
she knew how to act in her interview.

I was w/ her 3x as long as the manager if that means anything. The
superivsor told me that there is also going to be a lot of work upcoming in the new year which is why they to get the open positions filled ... but that she has no idea when they will fill the slot....
"Well, that's up to HR really"..... Not even a " we have just begun to
interview.... etc"..... and again, at this point, I pretty much had the
sense I was written off anyway by the supervisor's boss, I told the
supervior, the reason I was asking was that I had bid on the positon in
August and was wondering what the time frame might be. She said she was
amazed to hear that, that HR had only told them about me very recently and
perhaps it was because HR was so short handed. And I just smiled and said
that was my guess too and left it at that....
but I could tell she was very, very uncomfortable about answering that
question.

The supervisor, on the other hand, had just seen a few months ago, the woman
I had worked for at one point, at the society seminar in Vegas
and I got a completely different vibe from the supervisor...not that same
"oops, I must have stepped on a nerve"
Meanwhile, I had the feeling all day Friday that there would be a letter in
the mailbox from the outside interivew saying " Thanks but no thanks" but so
far, I have been wrong on that score too.....

Yesterday, I just couldnt even think about how disappointing the experience
was and literally just tried to stay busy to keep myself distracted. I
nearly posted but didnt think I could control myself and DH also wasnt
feeling well so I didnt want to upset him....
when I woke up yesterday, he was online looking at Real Estate courses to
make $$ because I had mentioned that maybe my age had something to do w/ the
manager's reaction to me....

Anyway, its one for the books


Not the worst interview of my life but definitely one for the books....


BUT, I didnt eat a lot o food ...
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Old 11-20-2005, 01:50 PM   #86  
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Kaylets, honey You just never know. My reading of your talk with the manager is -- it sounds like she was trying to trip you up right from the start. And I know that there are places in which that's actually interviewing POLICY! If that's the case, if it hadn't been the comment you're concerned about it would have been something else. I think the theory is to see how you handle that kind of crap. Total BS. And that kind of thing is very difficult for straight-shooters, who try to deal honestly with people. Sometimes there's just no way that an interview is going to be pleasant. And -- you just never know. You probably did as well as anyone could have done with that woman. Thanks so much for giving us the rundown, though -- I was anxious waiting to hear.

Please don't be discouraged -- if you don't get the position you interviewed for, it could be all for the best. There's something better ahead for you, I'm sure!
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Old 11-20-2005, 04:43 PM   #87  
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Thanks WoodNymph....

I took a nap and woke up feeling more positive and found that DH had made a pot of lentil soup and an apple/oatmeal crisp so it reminded me that life can be worse and I need to stop feeling like this will break me....

And yes, I was reading A Million Little Pieces.... in some ways, his writing style is very interesting by not using puncuation but if I hadnt seen Mr.Frey on Oprah, I would've not had the patience to get thru the book... Much of it was too strong for me to read every read, much less every paragraph...
Much of it hit home, much of it reminded me of the similiar issues here although then I wondered if we were being naive about DS's issues....

This week may not have been a good week to be alternately reading that book anyway....

Anagram! Cell phones arent so bad once you get more used to them....
and its a good way to remain in touch....

Need to run to the gas station so I'm ready for the morning....

Then we're off to bowling..
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Old 11-20-2005, 05:28 PM   #88  
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Kaylets, methinkest thou suffereth a little from a disease I also, er, suffer from. It's called "I'm absolutely sure I did/said/came across wrong in that discussion/interview/situation ..." of course, for me, it keeps escalating (I don't see you doing this as much) and after I analyze everything I said/did/came across wrong in, it starts down the slippery slope to "I'm no good, will never be any good, have no future and it's all because I can never say/do/be the right thing."

Job interviews are the worst causers of a flare-up of this condition, but be assured there's no way for you to know what the woman was thinking of you ... even if she WAS thinking about you and not just wanting to go home to dinner and a good book. But you did get a better vibe from the supervisor and it's more likely the supervisor who will truly decide who gets the job.

I've had lots of interviews where they didn't know I was coming for some stupid reason or other; once I got offered a job when I was at a place for another reason ... one I won't go into, but it wasn't a positive reason. You just can't predict the outcome of these things and rest assured if you don't get the job it won't be because of any mud on your pants or anything you said or didn't say ... just the luck of the draw in most instances.

I DO think that unspoken "why are you looking at this low level at your age" question is a common thing. It's a reflection of other people's egos about what they perceive themselves to have achieved and it is meaningless. "Level" means nothing. Age means nothing. You are looking for a work experience that is good for YOU and to be an asset to THEM. You are not a career-seeking missile programmed to hit specific targets or conform to patterns created by others.

Make dang sure they know that.

I bet you did really well and if you don't get the job, well, it's their loss.

Rock on.

I gained .60 of a pound this week but am not unhappy considering I've been eating for two (me and the virus) and not exercising.

Time to move on.
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Old 11-21-2005, 05:16 AM   #89  
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Thanks Empress.... And in this case, I've finally come to the conclusion that there wasnt much I could've said to make any kind of a difference about my age....
Which in my opinion was still younger than the dept manager but for all I know, we're the same age....

And yes, I knew I shouldnt have been spending so much time on the experience but compared to the interview w/ a completely unknown company the week b/4, the entire experience caught me completely off guard.


-----
Thought of the day :

"Failure is only deferred success."


Question of the day :

"Name 3 things you are proud."

------


Here we go Monday!
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Old 11-21-2005, 06:47 AM   #90  
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Kaylets, I didn't mean you shouldn't be spending so much time on the experience, that is definitely healthy and normal, just hoped to point out that often we feel we've blown something when we haven't.

That's funny about the manager being older yet makin' you feel self-conscious about age (which, of course, you couldna do anything about, nor would ya want to, I'd think). I often have this experience also ... people being concerned about my age when they are not only older than I am, but act and appear older than I am, but they don't seem to know that!
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