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Old 07-07-2005, 12:03 PM   #136  
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Well good afternoon (almost) everyone. Yep, I woke up with the same horrible news about London that put an immediate stone in my stomach. My friend Sarah, who I met while I was living over there, recently moved to live in London to work at the Tate Museum. It just makes me sick with worry and the mobile networks are all down so I don't even know if she's alright. It's a terrible feeling.

So, aside from that..

Debs - It sure sounds like you found a great house after all those trials and tribulations! I know how tough it's been on you and I really hope that everything works out for you. You deserve it. I understand completely about the packing thing. When I had to pack up an entire apartment and three cats to move back to the States I thought I'd lose my mind. Every friend I had within visiting distance sidestepped helping me in one way or another until I was like the cheese who stands alone. But.. after I had a very disturbing panic attack on the train to work one day, I decided that I was going to take one day at a time and quit worrying. I had to put faith in myself that I'd get it done and I did. You'll do the same. Just try and take one thing as it comes and don't worry about the whole picture at once or you'll go cross-eyed. Trust me hun!

Healthy - Thanks so much for the encouragement I'm not finding this diet hard at all, except for the occasional want for something, but every little helps. I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time health-wise. I haven't gone through what you have yet- I'm hoping to hold it off until I can have at least one child. I just need to find daddy first and I'm not even looking right now. I'm 34 and pushing my envelope a little too far I think. But anyway, I think you're coping brilliantly. To **** with the eggrolls lady! You're working very hard and a treat or indiscretion now and then won't upset the apple cart. You just hang in there and remember, we're all in your corner.

Vi - Well darlin it sounds like you're on track. 3lbs? Pshaw! Those will float away in the wind. My guess is that it's just a little water weight. You can't gain 3lbs of fat overnight I found that, when I was doing the Fat Loss for Idiots diet, I'd eat healthy for all 11 days, but when the three cheat days came along, I'd gain about 3lbs. That was because I was intaking MUCH more sodium over my cheat days than what I did following the diet menu. So don't worry hun, you're doing very well. Just check out your ticker!!!

As for me.. well, I was down another pound as of today. I'm going to quit weighing now for at least a week. I don't want to get all obssessive. It's so hard, though. I'm being very good and drinking all of my water - 10 8oz glasses a day. Yesterday was hard getting it down, but I picked up some more flavored water and not it's easy peasy. I really enjoy the Fruit 2 0. I have lemon this time and it's very refreshing, especially in the hot Florida weather. My lovely mother said she'd pick some more up for me today (saves me $$$) and that's probably a good thing with Dennis heading in. I've never been through a hurricane and I'm in NO hurry to try it out. (Even though I always wanted to be a storm chaser!)

Anyway, my beloved colleague just brought me a diet cherry coke so I'm going to enjoy my treat before my next shake.

Take care ladies. I'll be back to post later.

~Alisha
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Old 07-07-2005, 01:36 PM   #137  
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Glad to see you are still with us, Healthy. Did you do the exercise you'd planned? I didn't notice the exercise affecting my moods until I'd been at it regularly for a few weeks, then it sort of struck me that, gee, I had been feeling better. I expect my dh probably noticed it before I had become conscious of it. LOL Now that I am aware of it I go for more exercise when I feel stressed, like I used to go for tylenol.
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Old 07-07-2005, 02:45 PM   #138  
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Sea, oh yes I peddled away those pounds last night and felt wonderful. Afterward I took a warm bath some magnesium and slept like a baby .

Alisha, I just had to laugh when I read about you wanting to be a storm chaser, because your name sake, my dd, could easily have done the samething. She's 21, but when she was a child she would find great delight in storms. She would remain at the window looking for a tornado or some natural disaster. Her brother on the other hand takes cover whenever two drops of rain falls from the sky. Total opposites.

Deb, I am also packing to relocate to Florida. I don't mind packing, but I dislike unpacking. Thank God for my dh who likes to unpack. So we have a unspoken understanding. I do the majority of the packing and he unpacks.

I'll be back after I log in my foods for the day.
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Old 07-08-2005, 08:51 AM   #139  
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Good Morning Everyone!

We left the security deposit for the house. We'll know by Tuesday. They seemed to really like us and our son. The house is SMALL, but that's ok---we need to down size. I'll have to go the permit for a garage sale. We are going to have to sell our den furinture. When we moved to FL we didn't have any livingroom/den furniture. Now we have too much! LOL.

I'm not doing anything today except clean up and pack some stuff and be with my son. We've been doing stuff every day. He went to bed after 11pm!

My friend, S, is driving me crazy. I guess I never realized a few things....1-she's a control freak (actually I discovered on a vacation to the Outer Banks-they drove from FL and we drove from NY.....I'll just say by the end of the trip I was so nuts that I got into the worst fight ever with dh and was calling for a divorce....and he didn't DO ANYTHING...she stressed me so much. 2. She is so unsure of herself.....in every aspect.

That I just figured out last week. Our boys are 10 months apart-mine being the older. They are totally different boys! She was very hard on him (he's only 5) as a toddler/preschooler. I'm a little bit more slack on discipline. I mean I let my son experience things......her son couldn't play with any toy unless he was using the proper way. I could care less if Nathan was taking a toy from something else and playing with it on another toy. She would make him eat his food. I never really forced Nathan...yes he had to eat something. My mother told me not to stress over it....he'll eat when he's hungry.

Just the other day she told me that she doesn't make a seperate meal for her son if he doesn't like what they are having. I do. I don't do it every night, but there some meals that my dh and I enjoy, but my son doesn't. Am I wrong? Nathan is right were he needs to be on his healthy charts. He doesn't have much of a belly.....he's not skin and bones. Her son has a big belly! He walks on the tredmill and does exercises now (he's 5!). When they saw how great Nathan was reading, the next week her son was reading great also (he starts kindergarten in August). It's like whatever my son does, her son better be able to do it also.

Nathan doesn't know how to tie his shoes---well....kinda. Her son has known for a long time time. I don't make him do it...I know he should know...he's rarely worn tie shoes all summer....we'll work on that in the next few weeks. Her son has been riding a 2 wheel bike for about a year....they bought Nathan a bike for his 5 bday.........he doesn't know how to ride a 2 wheel bike. I guess my point is that I don't make him stuff just because J can. I go with the flow of my child.

As you know, Nathan has been taking swimming lessons. He would swim with a life vest on and be as happy as a lark....but it was time. He needed to know how...especially living in FL. Her son had those safe start $300 survival swimming lessons....boy wouldn't swim afterward...terrified of the water. He took them when he was 3? He cried...hated it. Well my lessons are $35-and like a FOOL I said that he was swimming without the floats and was swimming under the water and doing great. Her husband was here last week and I was telling them both this.......I could tell he thought it was stupid that they paid the big bucks and their son couldn't swim....yet Nathan is progressing. Well, well, well....her husband calls me yesterday (he rarely does that anymore) and before we ended the conversation he said he was rushing home because J could swim without his floats. I was like your are f****** ( I don't cus so I was really mad.....I didn't say that to him)kidding me. Am I wrong here. It's as though whatever Nathan can do her son has to be able to do it. She tells him....why can't you behave like Nathan...Nathan isn't doing that. Look what Nathan can do. Her son doesn't need the added pressure. He already has to do everything her way. He must perform exactly as she says. She rides his case about everything! She forces him to do stuff. I could just imigaine how the kid reacted in the pool. She probably yelled at him, told him Nathan can do it...so can you. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME AGE!!!!!! When they are teenagers it won't matter...but 10 months apart is a big deal at this age.

Tell me if I'm wrong...that's only a brief account.
She is like the best "homemaker." Always making dinner/lunch from scratch. House always clean. I'm not a housework kinda gal. I work! She does work, she does home health care the 11-7 shift.....she works more now than she did because of her dh's job...but when her son was first born (1 1/2 years I think) she didn't work. Go to the park and play with my son....or mop the floor. Sorry-my son will come first! I can cook. I enjoy doing it. She acts like its a big deal when I invite her over. She'll say....I don't like when you cook for me...I'm like we were just at your house last week. Give me a break.

Now this friend is like a 6/8. Looks are very important to her. Whenever she describes something she always tells me what the other person looked like and what they were wearing. She likes to be tan so she has a tanning bed (sounds vain....I know). She has been busy lately and wasn't laying in it. Guess what I've been doing? Going to the pool/beach. I am tan. She made a comment--Wow Deb you are so dark! Well in just a few short days she exclaims how she laid in her tanning bed-she needed to get some sun. I was like........being competitive with the boys is one thing.....I'm learning to not let it bug me as much.....but being competitive with me is a whole new thing...don't go there!

I often wonder why she is my friend. Now, I've only painted the part that bugs me! She would do anything for us. She has done a lot for us. She was there when I had Nathan, I was there when she had her son. We are close friends. When we were moving back to FL she spend several weeks going to houses, taking pictures, getting all the information....that's a headache.

I told her husband that I would call her today to do something...truth of the matter is that I don't want to do. I know she will suggest swimming...so I can see her son. She said she'd come see Nathan...never came...he was disappointed. I feel like saying when she tells me his accomplishment (which I am very glad that he is doing it...I just hope it wasn't under harsh circumstances and that he was able to enjoy it!)"I figured you'd have him doing the same thing as Nathan...you always do". No, that's kinda mean. I guess it boils down to this.....she has a wonderful, smart son. She stifles that in him. He's becoming like her. He won't know how to make any decisions for himself because she controls it. She wonders why he lies to her....he doesn't want to disappoint her, get spanked (and boy did she spank him a lot). My son adores her....but he doesn't like the way she yells at her son. He can only handle so much of it.

I'm not perfect. My son isn't perfect. I don't think my disipline methods are the greatest.....but most of the time it works . I have a happy, healthy, confident son. He knows he's loved. He knows its ok to make to mistake. I let him frost the cookies anyway he wants and not CONTROL how he does it (she wouldn't let her son do it his way...she had to tell him step by step how to do that.....imagine the scene......I'm letting my son do it by himself....she is struggling to hold the knife and tell her son how to do it exactly the way she wants).

Ok guys.....thank you for letting me vent. Maybe I'm being the jerk. I don't care that her son can do what Nathan does.........but at what expense is it to him and to how he feels about Nathan. He drew something and he said..."Now am I a little artist like Nathan"--because he probably heard her saying it to him. It broke my heart when she told me he said that. She's like, Nathan is a good artist. I'm thinking...huh? Nathan will draw.....but it's on his time. I told her that he picks up one color and will color the whole page that color, he doesn't really color in the lines. I know that probably bugged her...she has made comments that her son will color everything the same color and not color in the lines...she repeatedly tells him how to do it. I told her that... I don't make Nathan draw (she makes her son). It's not that my son doesn't know how to color in the lines-he wants to finish. He draws when he wants too. I go with the flow. I'm sure she loved that. Her son read the clock at 10:41 instead of 10:14. She said she got on him and said....why did you read that wrong...you know 14 and you know 41. She was telling me she was frustrated that he does that sometimes. (remember he's 5...he won't be 6 until Feb.). I said it's developmental. I know she hates that answer because I tell her that a lot (because she keeps trying to make her son do stuff that Nathan does and 10 months and a year in kindergarten makes a huge difference!). She said...what does that mean....I said, well maybe he learned before he was ready. She stopped asking me about it after that. I told her how Nathan will sometimes rush through his work and he talks in class. I wanted to let her know that kids are kids. Nathan is a good boy......he'll admit he talks....but not when the teacher is looking (great thing to hear since I am a teacher LOL). I don't want to give her the impression that my son is perfect. No one is.

I am so sorry to go on and on and on about this. I just had to get it off my chest. I just think I'm going nuts. My husband said it's probably best that I not do anything with her today because I set myself up. He doesn't think she does it on purpose..it's just her personality. He feels bad for her son. We spend time with him--without her. We watch her son, more than she watches Nathan.

I have another friend (they know eachother) and she said she was surprised we've friends this long. She pegged it about her. She made comments about how she treats her son a few years ago. After Nathan's bday party in April, both sets of friends were there. That hasn't happened in along time-I know Carrie doesn't care for S that much. They got along great. I was so excited. Carrie told me later (like a few weeks ago)-that she was really trying to be nice and friendly...for me. Gee, thanks! I really believe that she pushes people to the point that they don't want to be with her...because she doesn't hang out with that many people. Here my husband and I were invited to like 4 places on the 4th of July! Oh, yeah...we're real popular! LOL

I love my son. I am very proud of everything he does. He amazes me with the words he says (good ones). He has a soft, gentle spirit. He obeys (most of the time). He gets excited about things. He is caring. He's eager to learn (he got that award from school). I don't make him learn to ride his bike (he said the other day he wanted to ride it without the training wheels). I don't make him do stuff because J can. Gee, I didn't realize that Nathan was the top reader in his class. His teacher had to send home supplemental reading. (oh yeah, S had her son read the same book one time they were here.......to show me he can read the same as Nathan).

Ok....I've vented enough. It's 9 am! Ahhh...I must get going.

Talk to you all later.

Debs
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Old 07-08-2005, 09:19 AM   #140  
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Good morning all!

Debs, way to go on the house! You're friend sounds SO nice! LOL I really do feel sorry for her son. I can't imagine trying to have a "perfect" child. Each kid has their own pace to do things, and own imagination, desires, etc. I hate to see parents push and push when often times all kids really need is a gentle nudge in the right direction and they'll figure things out on thier own. Your DH is right, take a break from spending a lot of time with her, but still spend time with her son, sounds like he needs someone like YOU in hes life.

I'm going to go pick up my husband from the airport to day! I can't wait to see him. I have a little cleaning to do before I leave though, not that he'll notice when he comes home. I'm probably going to skip my workout today, but I did 2 yesterday (cardio in the morning, and weights in the evening) to make up for it. Tomorrow is my free-day of eating and I really don't want anything special. Usually it's chocolate and fatty/salty foods, but I've been eating really good food this week and enjoying every bite of it. So, maybe I'll just have a cheat meal instead of day.

Everyone have a wonderful day, and I'll check back in tomorrow.
Kathy
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Old 07-08-2005, 10:10 AM   #141  
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Kathy and her dh sitting in a tree!

Welcome home to Kathy's hubby!



debs
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Old 07-08-2005, 10:27 AM   #142  
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Exclamation Wow Debs!!!

I think we all know someone who is like your friend. I think a lot of women are competitive when it comes to the accomplishments of their kids. You know what's sad? When the kids are all grown up...it doesn't matter when they learned how to tie their shoes or when they learned to read... blah blah blah.
At the end of our lives, our accomplishments are not listed on our tombstones. The memories you leave behind are your legacy.

You're raising your son to be happy and well rounded. It's good that you had some good things to say about your friend. That's what keeps the friendship going. All you can do is to continue being a role model for your friend. My guess is that she had perfectionist parents who were SO hard on her, that she knows no other way to parent.

I'll bet if you ask her about her childhood one day...she'd end up crying. (most of us do...I mean NO parents are perfect) But it may let her know that some of their methods are rubbing off on her son and does she really want that?

She's lucky to have a friend like you, just keep letting her know that it's ok not to be perfect.

You know how a duck swims? sit one day and just watch how it glides-- ever so smoothly, keeping it's head high, being admired by all. but if you look under the water.... HER LITTLE WEBBED FEET ARE PADDLING LIKE **** TO GET TO WHERE SHE'S GOING.

Take Care Debs.
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Old 07-08-2005, 10:37 AM   #143  
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Good Morning all,

Debs your frend sounds alot like my sister I say let her be the way she is and just be how you are. My sister is always trying to compete with her sister in law and its too funny she had to get a air conditinor because her sister in law has on.. My goodness we live is Seattle It rains more than its hot even in summer!!!! I think people like her and like your friend they are miserible with who they are...

Okay so I finally had my meserments done yesterday at the gym and in all im down 9 1/4" down in one month... Is that great or should it have been more??? im new at mererments My trainer dident say anything like good job or nothing all she said was to push my floor excersises and to cut back more on my food intake. because my weight aint going down like it should....

I dont know my trainer was kinda mean like im not doing as well as I should be she really made me feel crappy about everything, in one month ive lost 16lbs and 9 1/4" I know thats not great but its better than nothing Right??? I almost started crying but saved it untill i got into my car then the faucet opened up and i was crying like a babby

Well whar are your guys imput??? should I be down more inches and weight being a month into it???

Have a great day
Viana
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Old 07-08-2005, 11:52 AM   #144  
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Viana, that is absolutely fantastic! Your trainer must have either been very distracted or out of her mind! My guess is she doesn't know how to relate to those of us that aren't 19 year old anorexic waifs.

I repeat, YOU HAVE DONE ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC !!! Keep doing what you are doing. It is working.
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Old 07-09-2005, 02:30 PM   #145  
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Viana, your trainer is definitely lacking the needed social skills for that profession. I know that everyone has their bad days, but as a personal trainer they have to be encouraging. Sounds like your trainer should have taken the day off.

You are doing marvelous!!!!! If I was to lose 16 pounds a month in 5 months...(counting my fingers and toes)...I would be 80 pounds lighter!!!!!!!!!! You go girl !
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Old 07-09-2005, 02:36 PM   #146  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by debsturn
I'm not quite sure how I found this website, but it is exactly what I am looking for.

I've tried ediets-was a member for about 3 years. I didn't lose any substantial weight-I would lose focus after a few weeks. I can plan my own meals. I miss the support. A buddy or a few to chat with-support.

I am 35. I've been married for 7 years. I have a darling son, he's 6. I'm a teacher and this summer I am not WORKING!

I joined CURVES in January. When I was going on a regular basis I felt great. Now that school is out, I have no excuses.

That's a little about me. Anyone looking for a buddy?

Debs

Hi! I am in FL, too. I joined Curves in January as well and I love it I've been to various other gyms in the past and I've never been able to make myself go to them on a regular basis like I do at Curves.
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Old 07-09-2005, 06:49 PM   #147  
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Hi there everyone. I decided to sneak onto the computer between storms to see how everyone is doing.

Debs - I just can't get over your 'friend' . That whole post really upset me because it reminded me of things I've heard all my life from my biological dad. That man made me so ashamed of myself and so self-conscious - I ended up having court proceedings when I was 24 and disowned him so my step father could adopt me. I was never pretty enough or smart enough or thin enough. I had this friend as a kid, called Diana. She was slimmer than me, but that's about it. Yet, all I heard was "Why can't you be slim like Diana?" "Why can't you do your hair like Diana?" Well I heard that from dawn til dusk some days until one day I screamed at him that I wasn't f****ng Diana - I was ME and I was his kid. Diana already had a father and that's just one more thing she had better than me! Well, he shut up after that, but what a very hard thing for a child to go through. I was in middle school when all that came about, so I can't even fathom the amount of damage that woman is doing to her son. I don't know how I'd handle it, but I suppose I'd quit putting the kids together and I'd quit saying anything about my son at all. Then if she asks why you never talk about Nathan, I'd just tell her. If she's a friend, she'll appreciate your opinion whether she likes or agrees with it or not. If she isn't, then she'll get nasty. By the sounds of it, it's like Nickie said - she doesn't know any better. Maybe if someone tells her, she may get mad, but she may learn something too.

Vi - Way to go! I'm so proud of you!! You have done SO incredibly well. I'd be of a mind to tell that trainer that you didn't appreciate her attitude one bit and that she better learn to be a bit more friendly and diplomatic. I know what you mean though... I've been going to Curves since May. In the beginning I was going 4 times a week to try and tone a bit before my cousin's wedding. The whole time, one of the women who works there was on my back about not coming 4 times a week because muscles have memory and I may not be reaping the benefits blah blah blah . Well, after the wedding, I slowed it down to 3 times a week and 3 circuits rather that 2.5. That was fine. But now that I'm on Medifast, they tell you to cut your regular exercise routine in half for the first month because due the very low calories of the diet, it could actually impede your weight loss. After the first month, you can increase it gradually if you want to. So, I go twice a week but only do one circuit. Well everytime I go now, the OTHER woman who works there gives me grief because I don't come 3 times a week. I've explained what the diet is and what they recommend, etc. but that just doesn't seem to be good enough. "Well can't you come 3 times a week and just do the machines and not the aerobics?" or "Can't you come 3 times a week and do 2 circuits?" I keep explaining what the diet says, but last time I really got frustrated. I nearly told her to get off my back, but instead I just let everything go in and run right back out. It's my money, it's MY diet, and I will do what I see fit.

So yeah, Vi, I know how they can really grate on your nerves. I told them I had lost 11lbs in 9 days and the first thing the woman said to me was, "'Well you know that's water weight". I was so mad! I looked at her and said that certainly some of it was, but I'm drinking at least 80oz of water a day so it certainly had SOME fat in there. I thought, "jerk!". It's like if you don't do it THEIR way, then you're doing something wrong, unhealthy, it won't work or they refuse to give you any sort of praise. Personally I think they need to get their butts out of the abductor and into a class that teaches how to provide support to your gym attendees!

And, a BIG welcome to Cuqt! I'm in Florida too (but more near the St Pete area. I do like Curves, actually, it's just that sometimes the two women can say the wrong thing and it makes me very cross. Anyway, it's lovely to have you here. We're like one big happy family.

So as for me... well I treated myself today! I ventured out to get my hair trimmed and then I decided to go buy a Vans Warped Tour ticket that I've been putting off for two months due to lack of funds! Of course I get there and the TicketMaster outlet is down so I had to go to the mall. I didn't mind too much because I wanted to pick up some of those no sugar/no carb flavored syrups like they use in the coffee houses to put into flavored lattes and such. So I got the ticket and I also bought two syrups - one raspberry and one hazelnut. Oh MY how good! I have Vanilla, Dutch Chocolate and Swiss Mocha shakes so I figured they may taste good with some other flavor. How right I was! I put one oz of the raspberry into my Dutch Chocolate and it was like HEAVEN! It was like a choco-raspberry frozen latte! I highly recommend picking some of these up for use in your coffee or even plain water. They are so good and have absolutely NO calories if you get the sugar free.

I still haven't weighed myself - I have three more days and then I'll see. Wednesday morning roll on!

Take care of yourselves and I'll write in between storms!

All the best.

~Alisha
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Old 07-10-2005, 01:03 PM   #148  
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Alisha, what is the name of the store to get the sugar-free flavored syrups?????
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Old 07-10-2005, 01:14 PM   #149  
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Hi Sea! Well, the place I got mine was a coffee house called Barnies, but I'm sure they sell them at Starbucks (although they're probably outrageous) and they also sell them online. Try www.torani.com. They have several different distributors to choose from and a plethora of flavors, even unique ones like cotton candy, bubblegum and white chocolate! Mine weren't Torani, they are Monin 0'Free, but I'm certain they are all the same. I've had Torani before and these taste no different.

Good luck! These are a great find!!!

~Alisha
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Old 07-11-2005, 11:51 AM   #150  
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Hello all I hope you all had a good weekend... I hope all my buddies in the Fl area is nice and safe from the storms.

Well again I had a nothere horrible weekend I did not go to the gym at all and ate like a pig I really dont know what is wrong with me I was so badley want to stay with it its just so hard and my parents are so over their diet, I said to them yesterday that nomore will I be cheating on my diet untill the next holiday (thanksgiving) I just really not sure what is wrong with my brain on why I cant keep with it I so badley want to be thin and be able to work out like I use too. HELP what can I do ???? How can I get my frame of mind back?????
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