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Old 06-12-2005, 09:56 AM   #1
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Smile Sanctuary - #24 Everyone Welcome



What we really want in a weight loss support group, boils down to one concept; we are looking for a sanctuary.

Sanctuary means different things to different people. Sanctuary is a place of peace, rest, safety, and rejuvenation. It keeps our spirit and our sanity intact.

Many of us who have a long journey down the weight loss path find ourselves in need of a break. Sometimes our bodies crave it, and sometimes the choice isn't ours, but circumstances forces it upon us. Other times, we need the clamoring throng to cheer us along our way as we breeze past milestones and overcome obstacles.

Sanctuary can be all that as well. It is what you need and when you need it. Sanctuary can be found in good friends who aren’t afraid of your truths and in an open, honest atmosphere.

Sanctuary isn’t judgmental, neither does it discriminate or ask to be censured. It is open to anyone with a desire to share, and especially those in need of and willing to offer support
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Old 06-12-2005, 10:31 AM   #2
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Tricia, how sad for your friend. I don't think we stress enough in our society how dangerous driving is and that we all need to be careful and responsible. People, of all ages, seem to think they are super human when they drive and nothing will happen to them. Can you tell I have been in the Cities again????
I don't know what happened in your friends family accident but you hit a nerve with me after fearing for my life all weekend driving in the Cities!!!!

Circumscising Addie, that will be a fun story to tell her one day!!!

Good job for Will, learning to swim. Of course, now he will just want to go swimming more!!!

CONGRATS on the 3 lb loss. I am jealous but then I haven't done anything to cause a weight loss so ... I am trying to get over my "so just give it up and be fat" thoughts I have been having lately.

Kat, Pick yourself up, dust yourself off - that is what I have to do too.

I don't know why I set myself up for failure all the time - better get back to reading Dr. Phil - I tried the South Beach Diet - then got the flu. I think there is a correlation.

Actually, there is too much putsing (sp) with food and I hate it so why I thought this time would be different I don't know. It wasn't.

I just hate buying and preparing food - maybe one day that will change but for now that is how it is. So, back to Lean Cusine type meals for me. At least it controls my portions.

I also have to get back to figuring out why I want to solve everything with food and fix those things.

Gloria, I feel your pain with the paperwork. I handle my Dad's and it is never ending and makes me scream many days.

I had a co-worker with colon cancer that worked half days for three days a week. It isn't bad enough he was dying but when he came in he would spend much of his time on the phone with the insurance company trying to straighten out his billings and payments. I always had the urge to crab the phone from him and scream, "What the he!! is wrong with you this man is dying can't you get anything right?????"

One of my best friends daughter got married Friday so I went to the wedding. My friend was diagnosed with stage 4, inoperable breast cancer last September so there had been some fear she wouldn't be here for her daughters wedding so it was so good to be there with all of them. My friend is actually doing well.

The wedding was in a mansion next to our govenors mansion so whenever you walked outside cameras would follow you!!!!

I did get to see some people I haven't seen in awhile. I was shocked and saddened that they had all put on a lot of weight. I thought, "shouldn't this make me happy that they are just like me", but it didn't. I kept thinking I have to lose this weight to get healthy so I can live to be 120 - and have fun dancing.

Gloria, are you still belly dancing?

Well, I am back now - no where to go for a few weeks and semi caught up on my new job.

I guess there is no more excuses - time to lose weight.

So, are we back to an exercise challenge? My goal is to exercise 30 min a day for 5 days. H E L P

Back later.
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Old 06-12-2005, 11:11 AM   #3
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Lucky, I am sorry that you are struggling so with losing weight. I know how frustrating it is when you realize you need to lose weight, you want to lose weight, you know how to lose weight, but for some reason still make bad food choices and don't exercise enough. I, for one, have spent an awful lot of time and effort trying to figure out what makes me tick in that department.

I realized back in December that I was putting way to much thought into the why's and how's of my weight and it was distracting me from doing anything about it. I happen to be this way in most aspects of my life. I'm a planner, I make a lot of to-do lists. But, I spend so much time mapping out a plan that I sometimes don't get to the actual task. Call it procrastination, avoiding uncomfortable things, or just plain lazy it is something I have had to stop doing in order to get things done. I always hated that stupid "Just Do It" slogan but, I'll be damned, it is that mentality that finally got me on track.

Amazingly enough, once I quit trying to figure out why I wanted to eat so much and just stopped eating so much was when I started to lose weight. The interesting thing, though, is that now that I've lost some weight the ins and outs of my relationship with food have become much more clear. I see things now that I never noticed before. I guess before I started to lose weight I couldn't see the forest for the trees, so to speak.

I know that you might not relate to any of this. But, you might, so I thought I would mention it. Sometimes I think the best course to lose weight is to stop THINKING about losing weight. Use tunnel vision for a while - concentrate on making the right choices and don't worry about why you have such an urge to make the wrong ones. Once you have made it down the path a bit you'll be more confident in your ability to do the right things and you can start looking around and figuring out all of those mental and emotional obstacles that you face. Then you can switch your focus to making sure those road blocks don't keep you from reaching your goal or cause a relapse once you do.

You can lose this weight, Lucky. I know you can and we will cheer you on all the way.
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Old 06-12-2005, 06:45 PM   #4
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Quote:
I'm a planner, I make a lot of to-do lists. But, I spend so much time mapping out a plan that I sometimes don't get to the actual task.

Tricia, that is SO me. I realized I enjoy planning more than doing !!!

So your [IMG]Sometimes I think the best course to lose weight is to stop THINKING about losing weight. Use tunnel vision for a while - concentrate on making the right choices and don't worry about why you have such an urge to make the wrong ones.[/IMG] was a light bulb moment for me.

I am going to start slow this week and watch what I eat - keep it healthy and exercise. You are right, the more I think about what I should and shouldn't eat the more I am in the kitchen looking for something to eat or planning what I deserve to eat.

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Old 06-12-2005, 09:31 PM   #5
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Oh, I feel so much better! I re-read my post and was afraid that it sounded really preachy. I had planned to pop back in and explain that preaching wasn't my intention and then got caught up getting the kids out the door to go swimming. I am so glad you read what I wrote the way I intended it.

We had a great time at the pool. So much fun, in fact, that we didn't get home until almost 6. I hadn't let the kids get any snacks while we were there so they were starving by the time we got home. The fastest thing I had to fix for dinner was shrimp. I tried a new recipe and it was really easy and super good. Give it a try if you are a shrimp lover.

1.5 pounds large shrimp, peeled and deveined, tail-on

(I actually buy a two pound bag from Sams. The brand is Members Mark and the shrimp are uncooked, tail-on, already cleaned, and flash frozen. They are very good and make shrimp recipes so much easier).

1 quarter cup olive oil
1 quarter cup lemon juice
1 Tablespoon minced garlic
Parsley (recipe calls for 3 Tablespoons chopped but I just used a good sprinkle of dried)
Red Pepper flakes to taste (optional)

Mix everything up and marinade the shrimp for 30 minutes. Grill or broil 1-2 minutes on each side.

I also came across an easy cocktail sauce recipe that I used that we thought was much better than what you can buy in the stores.

6 Tablespoons ketchup
2 Tablespoons horseradish (not prepared)
1/8 teaspoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon brown sugar

Mix it all up and start dipping!

It is bedtime for the kids so I am off. Hope you all have a great night!

Tricia
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Old 06-13-2005, 08:49 AM   #6
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Any advice on how I can teach my children to be honest people without being honest to a fault? Here's what has come from the mouth of my babes just this week:

Addie (walking in the bathroom just as I'm getting in the shower): "Mommy, now I know what your boobies look like. They look like a cow's boobies!" Poor thing. Even at four she must have picked up my stress because she waved her hands and shook her head saying, "No, no, no, Mommy, I just mean because cow's boobies hang down real low and make milk and yours hang down real low too and you used to give us milk just like them." At this point, I can only laugh. After all, she is right. Damnit.

Will: "Mom, do I eat enough vegetables?" I explain he could prbably eat a few more to which he responds, "Maybe I'll eat a few more because I want to be healthy. But not too many more - I don't want to start out as fat as you used to be." Okay, that stung. But at least the "used to be" part made it bearable.

Addie: "Mommy, why is your stomach so FLOPPY?" Okay, this I can handle because after twins I'd have a floppy stomach even if I were thin. I explain how she and Jake stretched out my tummy while they grew inside. I think this is over. No. Everyone she talks to now gets the story of how her mommy's stomach is sooooo floppy because she and Jake kicked around inside. She really has a knack for empasizing the floppy part of her story.

Greg was putting sunscreen on my back and commented that I was starting to get brown. He joked, "You are getting skinny and tan - your planning to leave me aren't you?" "Yeah," I laughed, "for a guy that likes floppy stomachs and cow titties." He laughed a little TOO hard at that joke. Just for that I ought to make him pay for a tummy tuck and a breast lift. That'll show him.

Off to get the kids' breakfast. Have a great day!
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Old 06-13-2005, 09:39 AM   #7
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Still not done with the lawsuit paper work, but did put a good dent in it. I'm also trying to get Social Security Disability and the government wants the when, why, where and what of my life for the past 15 years. Its a good thing hubby is a pack rat when it comes to saving info. There have been many a day when i would get so mad at him for saving EVERYTHING. I mean, when you live in a small house, you are limited by how much stuff you can collect and save. Now that i need all that info I'm glad he saved it.

Had a good weekend this past week. My dog Gretchen is about 12 years old and last week she started having trouble with her bowels. To put it in a nice way, she was NOT constipated in anyway. Even though we would go for a walk at night so she could do her business, i would wake up in the morning to small piles of poop here and there on my area rug in the living room. So Carl dragged the rug outside and with bucket and brush in hand, he started to scrub it. I was helping by keeping the hose handy and when ever he needed water, i would let him have it. Of course this turned into a water fight and i got him real good when he was bent over on his hands and knees and butt in air scrubbing away, but then he dumped soapy water on me and all i had on was a T-shirt with no braw and white cotton pants. I felt like a kid again.

Lucky, i haven't been able to attend the belly dancing classes in a couple of months. My upper body movements are getting more and more restrictive, and since trying to paint my bedroom last month, my arms stay at my side most of the time. Because i cant take the classes at the Y anymore, about the only thing i can do is the pool and there have been times that i had to leave a class because i was in just to much pain. So, i have canceled my membership at the Y. I still can ride old blue and am thankful that the only muscles i use is from the wast down.

Still have lots to do today so will go for now.
Have a good one.
Gloria
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Old 06-13-2005, 10:42 AM   #8
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Bonnie, I am so glad you found us over here! Of course, you are welcome to join us. As a matter of fact, I was going to mention this thread to you. Maybe Selina will pop back in and come on over too. You will really enjoy getting to know everyone here. I can honestly say that these ladies have been a significant part of my weight loss success. Each and every one of them has supported, motivated, and inspired me at one time or another. Oh, and did I mention that they are lots of fun to hang out with?

Gloria, I am happy you took a break from the grind you've been dealing with. It sounds like you and Carl had a great day together. I don't know anyone else who could turn dog poop into a party! I don't know what got into me but about a year ago I picked up a couple of bags of water balloons. The kids and I filled them all up and stashed them in various places around the back yard while Greg was at work. When he came home we abmushed him like you wouldn't believe. The kids SOAKED him. Karma bit me in the butt though. All of the ones I threw landed at his feet and didn't break so he wound up with quite and aresenol of his own. I was still really fat back then and couldn't run very fast. You can guess what happened next. Of course, I was wearing a dark shirt AND a bra so Greg didn't get the added bonus of a wet T-shrit constest!

I made it to the gym this morning. I'll say it again, I may end up a morning person yet! I love getting home and having the whole day ahead of me without having to worry about when I'm going to fit exercising in - or making excuses not to. Plus, I get to watch the sun come up. I haven't gotten to do that since my college days. Even then it was only because we didn't roll in from all the parties until after day break! What I wouldn't give to have THAT kind of energy these days. Meeeemories light the corners of myyyyy miiind. Misty water colored meeeeemories of theee waay weee WERE

Okay, everybody, eat well today and move those bodies when you can!

Tricia
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Old 06-13-2005, 01:14 PM   #9
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Welcome Bonnie, my name is Gloria and as you can see by my signature i have 5 dogs. I was wondering what part of Florida you are heading for your vacation? I don't want to scare you, but you might want to check the weather down here before taking off. Its tornado season and i wouldn't want you to get stuck somewhere and not be able to get back home. Hubby (Carl) and i have lived here in Florida in the same house for the past 25 years and hope to move to upper Georgia in about 3 years when we retire.

Have you ever heard of Murphy N.C.? Carl and i had a small vacation home there about 5 years ago and it was during that time that we knew we wanted to retire in N.C. or close to it. What a beautiful state North Carolina is.

I have two grown children but as yet, no grandkids. My son (Will) is 28 and has been married to a wonderful woman for 5 years. My DIL just graduated from college where she got her Ph.D. and soon they will be moving to Texas where she will be teaching.

My daughter (Jamie) is 26 and is going to school in Prescott Az. and wants to become a licensed sign language interpreter. She is engaged to a man she met while in Iraq and both Carl and i like this man very much.

My favorite form of exercise is riding my bike which i call old blue.

Even though this is a weight support group, these wonderful ladies have helped me in so many more ways. I think i would have given up on myself a long time ago if it hadn't been for Sanctuary. Its comforting to know that we can talk about anything and no one will judge you. Its just a great place to be.

Must get back to the dang, stinking paper work so will sign off for now.
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Old 06-13-2005, 08:00 PM   #10
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Tricia, you have to save those "kids" comments and then live long enough to throw them back at them!!!

A girl I work with gets HUGE when pregnant. One day her son said, "Hey, Mom, now you look as big from the back as you do from the front"!!! Those darlings are so sweet!!!!

Welcome, Bonnie. It looks like you can be another inspiration for me. I really struggle with this weight loss crap.

Gloria I am glad you can still ride old blue - we love the stories - I hear thunder so I am shutting this down for now.

Hope to get back later.
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Old 06-13-2005, 09:31 PM   #11
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Yeah, Lucky, my mom savors each and every word the kids spew! She keeps telling me that pay back is SWEET. LOL. I remind her that she did not qualify for long term care insurance so she should hope that she never finds herself in need of around the clock care - cause then we'll just see how sweet pay back REALLY is!

Now, speaking of this weight loss crap (such an appropriate term!), I've been doing really well since raising my calories to 1600-1800 average each day. I attribute it all to having switched my workout to first thing in the mornings. I think there is something to the notion that you go straight to burning fat if you exercise early and on an empty stomach. BUT - nothing lasts forever and I think I may have to go back to 1500 next week if I want to keep my momentum going. I have to admit I'm a little disappointed. I've still been eating reasonably but I've come to enjoy my little extras over the past couple of weeks. It will be hard to cut them out. But, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. My light at the end of the tunnel will be that once I get to my goal weight I'll likely be able to eat in this higher range and still maintain.

Greg will be out of town tomorrow night. He doesn't travel as much as he used to so I enjoy it now when he's gone for a night or two. I miss him, of course, but it is nice to have a couple of days with a less structured routine. I don't have to plan dinners, or get dressed if I don't want to (not that I HAVE to do that when he is here but I feel bad if he comes home for lunch and I am still in my pajamas). Plus, all three kids load up in my bed and we snuggle and sleep late in the mornings. Oh, and lets not forget that once they are asleep I can get back up and watch chick flicks until 2 o'clock in the morning!

Well, the diswasher isn't going to unload itself so I guess I have to run. Have a great night all!

Tricia
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Old 06-14-2005, 10:14 PM   #12
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I must say, Bonnie, that you have an interesting way of looking at a possible hurricane or tornado hitting Florida while your on vacation. I should have thought of that two years ago when we had five hurricanes in a row.
(I saw something about a depression somewhere near Santa Domingo or such such place this morning, so I just turned it off!!! That way, it can't happen!)

I thought i was having a good day today till i went over one more time all the paper work I've collected for my lawsuit. I missed a question where i had to produce W-2s and income tax returns for the past seven years. When Carl came home tonight and i asked him if he knew were 2002 and 2003 W-2s were, well he started looking but they were no where to be found. After looking for about two hours, Carl found them sitting next to the computer. Don't know how they got there, but now he's all pissed off at me.

I did get on old blue this morning and had a good ride to the produce stand. Picked up a head of cabbage but don't know what I'm going to do with it yet. It just looked good, so i bought it.

Time for bed so will say good night for now.
Gloria
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Old 06-15-2005, 08:29 AM   #13
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MMMM, cabbage. I love it too. I made some really good cabbage rolls a year or so ago but the kids wouldn't even look at them, much less eat them so I haven't made them since. Too bad since Greg said they were much better than the ones his mother makes - and he's bragged on hers forever (which is why I gave them a shot to begin with. I'd never even had them before.). My mom used to shred it and use half for cole slaw and would stir fry the rest with a little soy sauce and a sprinkle of sweet and low. We'd eat it as a side dish with pepper steak or somtimes use it in place of the rice.

Boy, am I excited. I took Daisy out this morning and picked my first tomato of the summer. It will have to ripen inside another day or two - I've looked at it and tugged a little every day since it blushed - it probably just finally gave up and jumped off the vine. Anyway, I should be able to harvest every few days at this point. I've got one fully blushed and another about half blushed so they should all be ready to pick pretty much one after the other from this point on. My peppers (bell and jalepeno) are going crazy. I can't pick those fast enough.

I feel horribly bloated this morning thanks to a much saltier than usual dinner last night. I had promised to take the kids to see The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D after Will's karate awards ceremony. They finished a lot earlier than I expected so we had a little more than an hour to kill. I took them to there favorite Mexican restaurant. Okay, MY favorite Mexican restaurant - but they love it too. I didn't eat too badly, a little bit of queso, and for dinner a taco with rice and about half of the beans. What I think is so funny is that this would have BARELY been an appetizer for me 6 months ago. And, to be perfectly honest, I could have stopped at the queso and been perfectly satisfied. But I would say that the bigger milestone is that I don't feel at all guilty about having a reasonable dinner out even though it is a lot more calories/fat than normal. There have been plenty of "diets" that I would have considered a meal like that a "slip" and just quit all together. Of course, now I realize that back then I just WANTED to quit and looked for the lousiest but easiest excuse I could find. LOL.

It is breakfast time at my house so I gotta run. You all have a great day!

Tricia
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Old 06-16-2005, 09:21 PM   #14
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I miss you guys.

I have been trying to catch up on this new job I have and it is killing me. I have been doing 12 and 14 hour days plus bringing stuff home to do.

I HATE THIS. Oh, well I should have my life back to normal in a couple weeks. Of course, then I have vacation and back to being behind.

Tomorrow night we are having a family get together - one of my uncles will be here from Indiana.

I will definately catch up this weekend.

Keep posting so I have something to read!!!!
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Old 06-19-2005, 08:05 PM   #15
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How is everybody?

We've had the usual busy summer weekend. We had our new windows put in upstairs. I never knew how exciting windows could be. Man, I LOVE these things. I can't wait until we can afford to do the downstairs too.

I haven't been to the gym in a few days and, boy, can I feel the difference. My eating last night was pretty crappy too but I got right back on track today. I don't know what got into me but I could not stop snacking. Admittedly, I didn't try very hard though. The funny thing is that I ended up at about 2300 calories which is still probably half of what I used to eat on a given day. At least it was all relatively healthy stuff - I haven't been grocery shopping so I couldn't do any REAL damage. It was still scary though. A reminder that if I'm not careful and aware I could very easily end up right back where I started.

I gotta run. I hope everybody had a great weekend.

Tricia
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