What we really want in a weight loss support group, boils down to one concept; we are looking for a sanctuary.
Sanctuary means different things to different people. Sanctuary is a place of peace, rest, safety, and rejuvenation. It keeps our spirit and our sanity intact.
Many of us who have a long journey down the weight loss path find ourselves in need of a break. Sometimes our bodies crave it, and sometimes the choice isn't ours, but circumstances forces it upon us. Other times, we need the clamoring throng to cheer us along our way as we breeze past milestones and overcome obstacles.
Sanctuary can be all that as well. It is what you need and when you need it. Sanctuary can be found in good friends who aren’t afraid of your truths and in an open, honest atmosphere.
Sanctuary isn’t judgmental, neither does it discriminate or ask to be censured. It is open to anyone with a desire to share, and especially those in need of and willing to offer support
You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
I may not be around much tomorrow because i have a doctors appointment to see what the problem is this time with my neck. So, anyone interested in a story about my mother? Hope so because here goes.
It was the second night that Jamie, MIL, mother and myself had been around each other 24 hours a day and i guess the thrill of the adventure was beginning to wear thin. We were staying in a Howard Johnson motel so the room was nice, but the windows did not open and the air conditioning had to be left on all the time. I had fell asleep on one of the beds while my three roommates were still up and getting ready for bed. I can sleep through anything if I'm tired enough so any noise they made was not a problem for me. I don't know how long i had been asleep, but when i woke up i was covered in sweat and realized that there was no hum of the air conditioning, so i got up to check on it. It had been turned off and the room was getting very stuffy, so i turned it on but set it on low just in case someone was cold. A few minutes later after i got back in bed, the hum stopped again. My eyes pop open to see my mother getting back into bed after turning it off. In the morning i asked Jamie and MIL if they were hot or was it just me? Both of them said they had trouble sleeping because the room was so stuffy. I know this is just one little thing and to you i probably sound petty and childish, but I've lived with stuff like this my whole childhood and the message she keeps sending me is, "What you feel, want or need is not important to me. The next night i told her to get another blanket for her side of the bed if she was cold because the rest of us were hot.
Have to get a shower and clothes ready for tomorrow so will say so long for now.
Gloria, no offense, but it is you mother who was behaving like a child. And try not to take her actions too personally. There were two other people in that room whose comfort and feelings she neglected. When people we love do these things it feels like a personal attack. But if you step outside the box and peep back in you will see that they tend to be disrespectful to everyone. It is THEIR shortcoming, not YOURS. We all tend to take responsibility for other people's hurtful actions but, especially in this case, you owe it to yourself to keep her accountable for her behavior.
Now, about this exercise challenge. I need it. I don't want it. I have been lacking motivation for exercise and that is the reason I haven't responded your idea yet. I have to be honest, I'm just really tired of pushing myself. But, then I realized that's the point of a challenge - to give us a reason to push a little harder. So, count me in.
I've been on a rollercaster of emotions toward weight loss these days. Part of the problem is that 214 pounds seems so far away right now. For a while there I could look in the mirror and see such a huge difference in my appearence that I stayed on top of my game. I'm still dedicated to this lifestyle but I've been in this weight range for long enough that I don't compare it to the 214 pound me anymore. So, all of a sudden, I feel as bad about myself at 155 as I did at 214. Mentally, 155 feels as fat as 214 did. Very self-defeating. And I know it is ridiculous. And I am slowly but surely working through it. Although I can't say for sure I suspect that this is how I've managed to regain any weight I've ever lost. But, I am aware of it now and can fight back. I know nothing about the way I live will change once I reach my goal weight. I'll still have to count calories, I'll still have to exercise whether I feel like it or not. I know these things. As much as I hate to put so much stock into a number on the scale I am very anxious to reach 135 so that I can stop the emotions involved with wanting to see the scale move. And what is even more asinine is that I AM seeing the scale move, I AM seeing inches fall away. Why on Earth does it seem like I'm not? That one I can't figure out.
With all of that said you'd think I'd want to push, push, push, and blow through these last 20 pounds. Nope. And I'm not sure why that is. I know that is what I SHOULD want to do. I find myself wondering if there is something that makes me afraid to reach my goal. But I can't imagine what that would be.
So, give me the whens and where's of our challenge. I'm ready when you all are. Goodness knows I need the boost of being kept accountable for getting of my rear end.
Tricia, to me it sounds like part of your brain is afraid to succeed. I am speaking from my own personal experience. I have lived with my weight problem since i was in my teens and altho i have tried so many times to loose the weight, just as I'm getting close, something inside of me wont let go of the one thing that has stuck by me through thick and thin. FAT! Some people wont try new things because there afraid of failing, i think in your case part of your brain is afraid of succeeding. I think its part of accepting the unknown. Why do some people hate other people just because they look or act different from themselves? Why do people start projects and never finish them? Part of the brain says "I don't know what life will be like if i succeed or accept something new, so maybe i should stay right here where i know if safe.
Went to the doctor today and she told me i have a pinched nerve in my neck that has become inflamed. I am now taking steroids and a muscle relaxer. I slept for four hours this afternoon after started taking them. Hope the steroids don't make me grow a beard and mustache. I hope this works because i cant go through the pain again.
I think we should start the new challenge on Monday and go through Friday. Saturday and Sunday is very laid back at my house so i kinda take it easy over the weekend. Just my opinion. Anything the rest of you want to do is fine with me.
Gloria, I think you are exactly right. I've focused on this "magic" number and now that I am close to it I can't help but be concerned that it still won't be good enough. So, there is a part of me that reasons that if I don't succeed in getting to my goal than I can't fail once I'm there. I know it is silly and a rotten attitude so I am working on it. I have to keep telling myself that 135 might not end up being my ultimate goal but it will still be better than where I am now. I have a problem getting a little too ahead of myself. Thank goodness, though, that at least this time I don't have any desire to sabotage myself to the point of giving up all together and letting myself regain any weight. I am perfectly fine on the food front and don't have any concern at all about not eating healthily the rest of my life regardless of weight. I feel so much better and don't worry that I'm a walking heart attack waiting to happen.
Now, about our challenge. I went ahead and started mine today because I was afraid not to buckle down before my attitude got even worse. Boy, am I glad I did! For the record, my challenge is to get up early and get my exercise done before Greg leaves for work. This means getting up at 4:30 so that I can get dressed and be at the gym by 5:00, do 50 minutes of cardio and about 45 minutes of weights (every other day). This is a big deal for me because I am NOT at morning person. But, I pulled myself out of bed this morning and went. It was AWESOME! It made me realize that I'm not tired of pushing myself during my workouts. What has me so warn out is trying to juggle everything and everyone and fitting the workouts into my day to begin with. Every single day has been a balancing act between school, karate, dinner, housework, etc. so when I finally felt like something had to give exercise was the first thing to be taken out of the schedule. If I can make myself do it in the morning then the rest of my day is freed up. Plus, it will be nice not to have to take 2 showers each day! Heck, maybe our water bill will even drop a little. So, I would like to push myself to do this Monday-Friday for the next two weeks. I think that will be long enough to develop a routine. At that point, I'll figure out which days will be my regular days. There are still some classes that I like to go to in the afternoons so I'll probably do the morning workout 3 days a week and then on Mondays, Thursdays, and Saturdays I'll just do the 45 minute class. Sundays will be a little cardio and some swimming topped off with a little time in the whirlpool and sauna. Sounds like a plan to me!
We are off this morning to by swimsuits for the kids. It is sure to be a nightmare. I should have taken them one at a time over the past few weeks but didn't. Now the pool opens tomorrow and nobody has a suit that fits. We've got a forecast of rain tomorrow so maybe I'll be able to buy a little time and just get Addie's today and then take the boys in the morning. There is nothing like a little procrastination!
Gloria, good to see you back! Thanks for posting the pictures.
I'm up for an exercise challenge, but can we do it Monday to Monday? I usually try to work in something on Saturday and take Sunday off. My goal is to do at least 30 minutes of exercise 5 days this next week. I'm planning 3 days of Curves and at least 2 of water aerobics (it starts up again next week!).
I've got to get my food logged from last night and then get to bed. If I don't do it now, I'll probably put it off and off until I just give up and work on the next day.
Life's too short for cheap chocolate!
The first baby is an adult now--time to let that weight go!
I don't think it makes a difference when each of us starts the exercise challenge, but i do think we should have an ending point. I made a spreadsheet for one week and will keep it posted in all my post so all you have to do is copy and past it, then enter how much exercise you want to do for that week. The second column is for how much exercise you actual did that week. I tend to make things more complicated then they need to be, so if you don't want to keep track of the exercise challenge this way, then thats okay with me.
This is what i hope to do this coming week.
Have you ever done something that you knew was a mistake from the get go but you went ahead and did it anyway?
Well, Addie asked to invite some of the little girls from down the street over for a picnic tea party and she wanted to have chocolate cake. For obvious reasons my initial answer was no (to the cake, not the party). Well, she persisted and I finally realized that she shouldn't miss this opportunity just because I don't trust myself with a cake. So, I gave in and she and I along with one of the little girls baked a chocolate cake. We really had a big time.
Now, for me, this is no ordinary chocolate cake. It is the chocolate cake the I grew up on. My mother and my grandmother used this recipe. It is rich, fudgey, and DIVINE. I decided I would outsmart the situation by cutting it in half and making a two layer cake (the original is a sheet cake). I figure at least this way there are fewer servings and it is gone sooner thus less temptation to me. I decided I would have one small piece, force feed the rest of it to friends and family and have it out of here in less than a day.
Guess what? I licked the frosting spoon and it was soooo good but soooo rich. It made me not even WANT a piece of the cake. About 3.4 of it is left and I haven't had the slightest urge for a slice. Wierd. Really wierd. Don't get me wrong. I still plan to have a small piece at some point but it isn't inspiring the huge binge that expected. I have to say that I'm feeling pretty proud of myself. Not for passing up this particular cake but for having this "new" lifestyle be second nature. I mean, I fully expected to skip the plate and just pull up a chair with a fork in hand. And it was a needless worry. Good for me, huh?
Anyway, it made me realize how improved my relationship with food has become. I still have issues with my weight, diet, etc. but nothing even close to what I once dealt with. Makes me feel good about myself and so I wanted to share.
Hope you are all doing well. Our pool opened today so I may be scarce for a week or so (it will take a while for the kids' excitement to wear off) but I'll be checking in as often as I can. Have a great weekend!
You get a gold star, Tricia.I also have a fantastic recipe for chocolate cake that i make for Carl. Extremely hard to resist and i cant stop at just one piece.
Nothing much is going on around my house today. Carl is off tomorrow and MIL might come over for dinner, (maybe). I did start my exercise challenge yesterday and went swimming and rode old blue around the block a couple of time.
So where is everyone? Come out, come our where every you are.
Wouldn't you know it. The pool finally opens and we have a forecast of a week's worth of rain.
Thanks for the star Gloria. I had my piece last night and it was really good but not good enough to keep eating it and ruin any chance of losing weight this week! I did put it in an opaque tupperware container and stick it in the back of the fridge though - just to be sure I'm not tempted to pick at it. It is the stragest thing to still EXPECT to eat like my old self and then NOT eat like my old self. I would give anything to know who, what, when, where, and why that switch got flipped. I certainly didn't notice it happen. The funny thing is that I lost 40 or so pounds two years ago. I remember precisely that a piece of this cake was the very first thing I ate when I started to slip and regain. A friend of mine from junior high emailed me and asked for the recipe (she remembered my mom making it). I sent it to her and then just couldn't shake the craving for it. So, I made one feeling VERY confident that I could eat one piece and be done with it. I only had one piece alright. But after that I nearly forked the thing to death with a bite here and a bite there. I ended up having to put the last 1/4 of it down the disposal. But, it was too late. The old, familiar cycle had already begun and I had that 40 pounds loaded on in no time.
I did have something super yummy today for lunch. I picked our first four peppers from the garden this morning. I made a stuffing of rice cooked in chicken broth, spices, and a few grape tomatoes. I sauteed a little whole kernal corn, black beans, onion, jalepenos, and chili powder. Mixed the two together and stuffed the peppers. Topped each one with a tablespoon of Tostitos Con Queso and popped them in the oven util the queso was hot. Boy, were they good. And very filling I might add. It was one of those "gotta use up the leftovers before they go bad" meals. I LOVE fresh vegetables and can't wait until our first tomatoes ripen!
I am off to the gym to fill today's exercise quota for our challenge. I'm going to have my measurements taken too so if I have any good news I'll be back to post it.
Sorry Lucky, the spreadsheet i made is for this coming week. This past week i was in St. Louis for my DIL's graduation. Don't have any good stories to tell of my trip because most of then are all bad and i don't want to sound like I'm constantly complaining and nitpicking.
I just remembered one funny story to tell you. My DIL's mother (See picture, far left)
was telling us about when she was a little girl, her and her sisters would play real or not real. One of them would get under the covers and crawl to the foot of the bed. That person would make a noise like a fart and the rest of the had to guess if the noise was real or not. It was funny when she told it. I guess its one of those things you just had to be there.
Yesterday i did get into the pool at the Y and started water walking but was getting a little board. The pool is outside and i was thinking about getting out and going home when i spotted a little water bug floating on top of the water. When i tried to get close to the bug it would move, so i started chasing it and was just having a gay old time trying to catch this bug and water walking at the same time. I guess it got tired of me chasing it because it flew away, but i did get a good workout.
Even though i have started my exercise challenge, I'm going to start reporting on it tomorrow. What day do you want to have as an ending?