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Sanctuary - #14 Everyone Welcome

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Old 03-12-2005, 08:02 AM   #1
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Smile Sanctuary - #14 Everyone Welcome



What we really want in a weight loss support group, boils down to one concept; we are looking for a sanctuary.

Sanctuary means different things to different people. Sanctuary is a place of peace, rest, safety, and rejuvenation. It keeps our spirit and our sanity intact.

Many of us who have a long journey down the weight loss path find ourselves in need of a break. Sometimes our bodies crave it, and sometimes the choice isn't ours, but circumstances forces it upon us. Other times, we need the clamoring throng to cheer us along our way as we breeze past milestones and overcome obstacles.

Sanctuary can be all that as well. It is what you need and when you need it. Sanctuary can be found in good friends who aren’t afraid of your truths and in an open, honest atmosphere.

Sanctuary isn’t judgmental, neither does it discriminate or ask to be censured. It is open to anyone with a desire to share, and especially those in need of and willing to offer support
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Old 03-12-2005, 08:34 AM   #2
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Tricia I was a little upset that you deleted your post. I totally understand why, but since I believe that it is healthy and important to have someone to talk to about our emotional eating issues it also made me worry.

I have always been very private - don't use my "real" name etc. I don't know if it's age or fear of dying without ever really living but I have gotten to where I don't care so much anymore WHO knows what I write. If someone here was someone from my family or an acquaintance they could figure who I am from what I have said.

Anyway, I respect what you felt you had to do but it makes me sad we have to guard ourselves so much.

Gloria quote:
Quote:
This man was my father and yet he made me feel stupid and worthless.
I have learned that parents (some anyway) have no clue how important they are to their children and what effect they have on their children.

My parents were pretty ok, not great but not bad. Now when I look back at my life and see who, what, why and how I did and do things - I see one of my parents in everything.

Now, when you have parents that are abusive - well, the impact has to be beyond comprehension for me. I know it doesn't take away the pain your father caused you but I can tell from your posts that you are not stupid and definitely not worthless to me!!!

Welcome, michireiko!!!
Quote:
What really matters is what I think of myself, so I'm going to work really hard for me.
You have the right attitude. You have to take care of you! I too want to lose this weight so I can have a more active life. It's time for the couch and I to end our relationship!

Please come and share your journey with us.

Welcome to you too, redballoon. I have to tell you I love Oriental things and my entire porch is covered with items I have collected or been given. I have two close friends, one Chinese and one Janpanese that help me "collect". My Oriental diet dream is to be able to wear one of those red shimmery satin looking dresses. If I could ever get in one of those I would definetly feel sassy. (Especially since I am naturally a big Norwegian Viking woman)

Tricia: You are so right, as much as I hate it our old demons do hang around, and around and around. That is why I love it here. I feel I can post my "demons" and get an honest and objective response.

I have heard that Cindy Crawford quote before and everytime I look at a magazine and think "I want to look like that" I remember her statement.

Quote:
Degrading other people is just a means to an end - it's the easiest way to make yourself seem better by comparison.
AMEN!!!
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Old 03-12-2005, 08:50 AM   #3
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Talking

Tricia, those smells sound good. I, too, worry about my smelly house bacially because it is so closed up during the winter and I have a cat.

I have those days when I don't have it in me to do one exercise movement. It's usually about Thursday - I think the week seems to just catch up with me by then and I need a "vacation". But ONE day doesn't now a failure make!!!!

Andria: The sun certainly can do amazing things to your outlook. Even when it's 40 below zero here if the sun is out everyone is much happier!!

Tricia, I am glad you came here instead of nitpicking through your kitchen. You can ramble incoherently anytime!!!!

Cheryll, Congrats on the 4lbs. gone!!!! It sounds like you have a challenging weekend - remember we are here for you!!! You can do it!!!!

Tricia, I have small, skinny friends that eat like the people you described. I have watched them eat tons of times - eating more than me, I feel stuffed and they continue on. I figure it comes under "not all things in life are fair".

Phone...back later
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Old 03-12-2005, 11:26 AM   #4
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Default Good morning all...

We're having a small crisis around here...last night dh decided to just get our passports so he'd know where they were in two weeks, when we leave. They are literally NO WHERE to be found. Now, we just used them in December, how far can they have gone? Did I tuck them away for safe keeping somewhere REALLY safe? I don't remember doing anything with them...I'm pretty sure he had them. Pretty sure.

We have searched every piece of luggage, every drawer, shelf, closet, nook and cranny. I even checked online about passport replacement...whoa!! BIG BUCKS!!!

So, I have to get back to looking. On a brighter note: I'm getting so much de-cluttering done as I search! Sadly, so much more NEEDS to be done...

A few quick replies before dh discovers I'm not looking while he is!

Gloria...I'm with Tricia about some gentle honesty with your aunt. I think I'd say something like, "Can I be honest with you? I appreciate all that you've helped me with, but I'm ready to move past all that, let's talk about other stuff." I'm at a loss about dealing with her similarity to your dad. Just realize that that is who she is, she can't help that. Is it bad enough for you to stop having anything to do with her? Maybe just limit your communications to the computer. Good luck!

Tricia...Have fun shopping! You will definitely get a sense of your great accomplishment by trying on/buying new clothes! Nothing like buying nice clothes, in smaller sizes, that FIT! You go girl!

Cheryll...
Quote:
I've exercised 3 days so far this week. I feel like my spirit has been lifted and feel more in control.
I always feel that way when I'm keeping up with the exercise! It's a great feeling! BTW...that WW choc/peanut butter pie sounds yummy...want the share the recipe?

Lucky/Viking Queen...Instead of the red satin, I'm picturing you with the horned helmet and the metal bustier, with Ride of the Valkyries playing as your long blond braids fly out behind you on the wind...like the Norwegian goddess that you are!

Andria...Nice work on the walking! Just don't overdo it. Every other day, maybe? Or a shorter distance? What does Dr Tony say? And where the heck is he lately? By the way....
Quote:
knowing what I really needed was an open and accepting heart.
...you've always got that!

Skittles...come out, come out! We MISS you!

Speaking of missing people...

BarbPa...should be home from her cruise soon...with lots of stories I hope!

BarbG...where've you been, sister?

OH! I almost forgot....WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME to Michi and Redballoon! Jump on in anytime...

Diet/exercise still going well. I LOVE weighing in on Monday...it keeps me on the straight and narrow over the weekend!

Gotta run, really....back to the search for the missing passports!

Have a great day, all!
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Old 03-12-2005, 11:35 AM   #5
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Lucky, I think you are thinking of me deleting my response to Gloria's request for advice about her aunt. I just wanted to say that I didn't delete it to be guarded, I truly don't care if people I know read my posts here, it is just that I think there is always a way to make my point without being ugly or negative. And when I re-read the post it occured to me that IF my FIL had read my post (obviously, I don't think he ever would) it might hurt his feelings and, therefore, not be condusive to sharing our feelings in a way that would help us work out our differences.

I am and always have been one of those people that speaks my mind. I don't get offended or get my feelings hurt easily. I happen to really like that about myself but I sometimes forget that others aren't as thick skinned. So, it isn't that I'll stop saying what I think I just want to work on HOW I say it sometimes. I have been working very hard to apply that attitude in my "real" life and it just seemed counterproductive not to apply in my "cyber" life too.

Like you said, if I felt I needed to be guarded I certainly wouldn't use my real name, list my state, birthday, kids and husband's name, etc. AND HEAVEN KNOWS THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE MY REAL WEIGHT POSTED OUT HERE FOR ALL TO SEE! LOL.

I didn't really keep up with the last couple of 2x2's - I think I lost the weight I just didn't keep up with the when's and where's of it. I didn't realize they were an ongoing thing. Anyway, I am in for this one so I'll weigh in the morning and keep up this time.

We are off to our soccer games but I'll be back this afternoon to chat. I've got a GREAT vegetable lasange recipe that I want to share. Talk to you all then.

Tricia
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Old 03-12-2005, 12:32 PM   #6
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Thumbs up

Whew - talked and talked to my sister on the phone. Hung up while my "real" phone was ringing where my girlfriend wanted me to meet her and her parents at the beach for coffee. Okay, I know it's not a REAL beach since I am in Minnesota but that's what it is called!!!!

Does anyone know of a place on the internet where you can look at hair styles? I have googled a couple times but haven't been happy with what I have found.

Shopping, oh Tricia, I look forward and dread the day I have to get clothes. Tell us about your spree!!!!

Gloria, I have to say "ditto" to Tricia and Kat's response to your aunt. Honesty is the best and I bet she understands. If not, well then it's not meant to be. I think relatives are important in our lives but I also have some that I am not that close too and don't want to be!!!

So, now I have to go through my mail and send Kat mental vibes to help her find her passports.

Here is some inspriration, Kat.
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Old 03-12-2005, 03:52 PM   #7
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Hello there. Thanks for anyone who has mentioned me. I would like to come in and post but just am so busy now and feeling I can't get into things in a responsible way. Talking about deleting postsand all. Oh sure, I usually edit mine, mostly because I find typos and such but sometimes I see where something might be misunderstood or that I should have used a softer tone. It is very hard to write in tone in these kind of posts. I think it may be better to just edit the posts rather than delete it though. Kind of hard to be reading posts about something some people saw but others didn't and really not know what the talk is about.

Anyhow, as I see I'm talking anyhow, I'll continue. I like the sound of this thread. You all get in here and just talk. With other threads where the focus is on the weight loss, when I'm not doing well (such as now) I feel guilty about writing even. Sanctuary sounds good.

Well, I'm not feeling well and debating whether I should go out and do what I had planned or whether I should stay home and have a kind of assessment day. It's hard to take stock and then set out anew when every day is, go, go, go, which it is for me.

I will try to get on here in a regular way. . maybe.. . so I can talk to you all personally. Bye for now.
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Old 03-12-2005, 04:51 PM   #8
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Redballoon, you make a good point about about editing a post rather than deleting it. When, I deleted it though, it was pretty soon after I'd posted it and there had been no responses so I didn't think anyone had read it yet. I did immediately re-post what I wanted to say so I hope I didn't actually cause any cofunsion in terms of the flow of the thread.

Also, you are right this is a great thread. The focus of our conversations does tend towards friendship rather than weight loss. But since we support each other so well we don't lose sight of the fact that what brought us here is the struggle to become healthier. This is the first place I come if I am doing well on my plan and the first place I come if I get off track. I've gotten so much encouragement, motivation, and inspiration here it is just unbelieveable. Sanctuary is a big part of the weight loss success I've enjoyed so far but I know I'll still be posting here even when I've reached my goal. This is a very caring group so, please, pop in as often as you can.

I am headed to the gym. It is a gorgeous day here, sunny, breezy, and 78 degrees. So, I want to get my workout and grocery shopping done and enjoy what is left of the day. I will catch you all tomorrow.

Take care,
Tricia
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Old 03-12-2005, 05:58 PM   #9
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Tricia: 78 hey we have the same numbers in our temps...I am at 18 degrees.

redbaloon:I am happy you are posting here but understand when time doesn't always allow it. Just come and share with us when you can.

Eating has been on track today so that is good for a weekend.

I did buy chocolate graham crackers the other day, so when I had a chocolate NEED I had one. I left the box on the kitchen counter and when I came home from work the next day the whole box was destroyed. I forgot my cat loves chocolate too.
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Old 03-12-2005, 10:13 PM   #10
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That is so cute, a chocolate loving kitty!

I'm stopping by quickly to share my success for the day...I spent most of the day cleaning and looking for the $#@% passports, which are still among the missing, by the way. Around 4:00 I thought lunch seemed like a good idea...then we decided to just go out to the diner for an early dinner. OH, how hungry I was, and how much did I want french fries!!!! So much. I hadn't eaten since about 9am and felt justified in getting them because I had worked so hard and for so long and with no results! (except for a cleaner, less cluttered home) I ordered a salad with grilled chicken strips and dressing on the side, I'm pleased to say. AND managed to get a good walk in tonight with the dog. We walked for about 50 minutes. It's in the 40s here, Lucky! We're having a heat wave!

Okay kids, I'm heading to the couch now. Time to veg.

And wonder just where the heck the passports are...
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Old 03-12-2005, 10:35 PM   #11
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Question Passports

P a s s p o r t s

I see passports in your future, Kat.
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Old 03-13-2005, 12:03 AM   #12
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Red face feel a need to reach out today. . .

Hi people. I just got in and I thought I would post again. Maybe this is the only way to get on, bit by bit.

jawsmom -- don't worry about the post. I wasn't trying to chide you or anything. It's just that I have deleted posts (because I thought they were silly) thinking no one had read them yet and then was asked what happened to them. When you post if anyone has subscribed to the thread the email notification goes immediately to them and there they can read the post. Kind of scary, actually because sometimes I make some bad mistakes, like leaving out a "not" or "don't" which naturally changes the entire meaning of the sentence so somebody could REALLY get the wrong idea! I often read my email on my cell phone and the other day I read a reply to something I must have provoked in a person (I really had to think hard about just how I did that, but apparently. . .) and I was reading her post on the train and thinking, wow! this person must be majorily stressed! but I was going to just ask her if there was perhaps anything I had said that she had perhaps misunderstood. Anyhow, later, when I got on the computer, the post was deleted, but in its place was a post saying she wasn't going to be posting in a while, with no reason given. I felt really bad, thinking perhaps I had caused this. . . real bummer but because she probably thought I hadn't seen the post I just didn't say anything, wished her all the best and said I'd like to see her back soon. Oh well.

How did the gym go? Hope you had a nice workout. What sort of things are you doing?

Lucky -- thanks for your warm invite! What's 18 degrees in Celsius? Hmm. I know it's colder than here. We have a high of about 7 I think today, but that's Celsius. And it's colder than it's been so spring is definitely on the way. The plum blossoms are out and the cherry blossoms should be out in about three weeks. When does it start warming up by you? That is so weird with your cat?! Wow, I have had zillions of cats and never had one that liked chocolate! Then again, I never offered it to them! I did have one that loved cantaloupe and another loves dried seaweed. How many do you have? I have three, one just died and I'm still quite sad over that. I love animals dearly.

katrina -- have you looked in your suitcases and other travel bags for your passports? I have a feeling that's where they are. So, you didn't have the fries? Excellent going! I am originally from Pittsburgh, by the way, I see you're close by (relatively speaking). Where are you planning to travel to?

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Old 03-13-2005, 12:31 AM   #13
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Kat, I am so proud of you! That salad is something to brag about.

The missing passports must be driving you crazy. But, at least you realized they had gone AWOL in plenty of time to replace them if you have too. But I've got my fingers crossed that it won't come to that - they've gotta be SOMEWHERE - right?

Okay guys. Tomorrow is a new day and I have made the decision to really focus on my exercising and see if I can't push thorough this stupid plateau. I've been doing fine on my eating and I don't think cutting out calories will do a bit of good. I know weeks that I lose 2 lbs are going to be few and far between at this point and that doesn't really bother me as it is to be expected. And, to be honest, if I never lose another ounce I won't be unhappy with myself because at least at this weight I am "average." I haven't gotten this far in so, so long though and that is really driving me at this point. The idea that if I could just lose 15 or so more pounds that I could wear a size 10! is just overwhelming. Oh, and it is driving me to keep pushing like you would not believe. I know it is supposed to be all about health - but, I'm healthy now. Blood pressure is great, cholesterol is great, glucose levels are perfectly normal. So there ain't nothin left but vanity. I felt so great at the Mary Kay party I went to last night. I had on my new pants and shoes and really felt good about how I looked. When I got there I got the usual, "you look so good", "you've lost a some weight haven't you?" comments. That was rewarding in and of itself. But at one point I got up to get another glass of water and when I left the room I heard everyone whisper about how much weight I had lost and how different/great I looked. I swear it actually made my heart flutter. My sister finally just couldn't keep it in any more and started to gush. Everyone had tried not to because they know I don't like to be the center of attention especially when it comes to my weight. But I have to say, I didn't mind it so much.

I am feeling really motivated at this point and not seeing the scale move like I want it to is grating my nerves. I don't need much - a couple ounces - anything. But, gosh, give me something to work with here! I'm not frustrated really, I think anxious is more like it. I feel like it is Christmas Eve and I'm 6 years old. The anticipation is what is so exciting. I want to be in the 150's by this summer soooo, sooooo bad. I don't care if it is 159.9 as long as I hit it before June 1.

I have mapped out my schedule for the week and am ready to bust my butt this week and see what I can do. Now, I refuse to have an "I can't" attuitude but I am realisitc and know that this could take a little time. So if I don't lose this week and my little bubble starts to burst have your shoulders ready becuase I may just have to cry on them! So, empathize with me for a minute and then bust my chops and get me going again. I KNOW I can count on all of you!

I'm off to bed. Catch you all again tomorrow.

Tricia
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Old 03-13-2005, 09:48 AM   #14
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Hey, redballoon! Don't worry about it...there are a LOT of touchy people on these boards! That's precisely the reason we started this thread. A place to come and be comfy, where you can say what's on your mind without fear of being ostracized or of offending anyone. We are all individuals, not cookie cutter copies of each other. We embrace each other's differences and similarities!

By the way, 17 degrees Farenheit is -8 degrees Celsius! Lucky lives up in the frozen tundra that is Minnesota! brrrrrrrrr!

Tricia...Last week at Weight Watchers, our leader spoke of plateaus. She used a girl at the meeting as an example...they can last a LONG time, but what's happening is that your body is adjusting to it's new size, kind of getting used to all the changes. She said to keep up with the exercise, but to vary it, don't do the same thing over and over. It's also very important to eat enough and to make sure that you are getting enough fat in your diet! <good fats, of course!> Basically, HANG IN THERE! Don't obsess about the number on the scale, just keep doing what's gotten you this far, you're doing great!

So...still no passports. This is very frustrating, but I had dh check and we can use our birth certificates and a picture ID. So that relieved some pressure, but still....It will cost about $1000 to replace 4 passports...I checked. There are companies that will do it rush/rush, and that costs even more! We'll stick with the birth certificates and hope for the best!

We checked the suitcases, redballoon...that was the first place we looked! Three of us remember seeing them on the hutch of my dresser, just tucked off to the side, but in plain sight...I don't remember putting them anywhere else! *sigh* We're going to Playa del Carmen, Mexico. It's on the Caribbean coast, with gorgeous white sand beaches. We plan on snorkeling and swimming, exploring the Mayan ruins nearby, but mostly, RELAXING...after this winter, I am SO ready for some beach time! {My body in a bathing suit isn't, but that's too bad!}

Time for coffee. Past time, actually. I'll be back later!
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Old 03-13-2005, 10:41 AM   #15
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Tricia, your enthusiasm is inspiring. I can feel your excitement!!! You know our shoulders are here for you and I am pretty sure Kat is our volunteer to kick you whereever to keep you going.

Do you or are you using MaryKay? I have a picture of me when I was much younger and it is my favorite of myself. One day a couple weeks ago I was looking at how bright and happy my face looked and then remember that was when I was using MaryKay. A week after that one of my coworkers introduced me to a lady that had stopped in - delivering her MaryKay order. So now I am thinking that is a sign!! :

Kat Hmmm maybe the passports are with the blue thong????

redballoon like Kat said Sanctuary is
Quote:
A place to come and be comfy, where you can say what's on your mind without fear of being ostracized or of offending anyone. We are all individuals, not cookie cutter copies of each other. We embrace each other's differences and similarities!
I know I have typed emails and such before and in my head it sounds perfectly normal and then I get a reply that whams me. Especialy humor can come across totally different when you see it written versus heard. I guess I also have issues with people that are THAT sensitive as to quit posting over someone elses view point. Viva la differance!!! I have learned so much in my life from my friends that are not the same as me and as I write that have to admit I have learned from those the same as me too.

So, off for some breakfast before I get going on the rest of my day. Laundry, paperwork, scrap book - well gathering some pictures for one anyway, oh and of course EXERCISE!!!!!
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