How exciting Reds! He does sound like a nice guy. A lot of men are very nervous about getting involved with women or very shy. I'm glad to hear that he's treating you well. You have no reason to rush so it's ok to take your time - you're young and you have so many wonderful events ahead of you. You're smart too! I can tell.
Thanks for the encouragement. I do feel good and don't think I'm gaining weight. I'm sticking to the low cal diet and drinking lots of water and although I'm not exercising much I'm very, very busy so I might be burning some calories that way. I made some headway last night on my coursework as I worked until 2am - that's how I am at the beginning of the month - energy to burn and at the end of the month - I'm exhausted. It's always been that way. Keep in touch. Take care.
Hello ladies - sounds like everything is going well here. Reds, it ok to take things slow, the slower the better. And it's usually more fun to!
Well I got my MRI results - not good, in addition to the the upper & mid back problems, it appears that I have 2 additional disc herniation, annual tear and desiccation of the disc (leaking from what I understand) - so it's going to be a lot longer road then I was hoping. No visit home before the snow flies, whcih really stinks!
I am trying to keep my spirits up, but somedays, it's tough. You ladies keep up the great work on your goals, you will achieve them before you know it.
Have a terrific day!
Penny
Last edited by chubbylady; 10-06-2004 at 01:07 PM.
Reason: add title
Hello ladies. Penny, I'm sorry to hear about your MRI results. I know you're a very strong woman and you will find a way to deal with it all, you have a great family around you and we're here when you need us too. Just know you'll be in my prayers.
My DET as promised...
1 hour eliptical
1/2 hour circuit training
Time to get my boys ready for bed. Goodnight ladies!
Penny, I wish you well. I hope that you can find some comfort for this problem. I know others who have suffered from back problems. I will be thinking of you.
Reds, I imagine you with your two little boys. When I think of them I think of my own bright eyed four year old. How old are your boys again?
Good eating day today - stuck to healthy food and the 1500 cals. Now I'm off to correct about 1,000 papers - only kidding, probably a few hundred! Ugh. I like the info that the papers give me, but it's a tiresome task. Take care.
Hi all! Just checking in to keep myself from raiding the refrigerator. Dinner is in the oven. I've been up late a lot this week so I'm tired and I find that when I'm tired I don't have as much self control so thanks for listening. I still haven't made it to the gym but since it's a long weekend maybe I'll find/make the time for it finally. I think I'm catching up a bit and that's good. Does anyone have big plans for the three day weekend? We're spending the weekend mainly going to sporting events i.e. the boys' swimming, soccer and football. It will be especially nice if the weather is good. Take care.
Perhaps everyone is away and enjoying beautiful fall weather. I hope that's true. I'm trudging along here trying to get the course work done, thanks for listening to me nag about this. Hopefully this will be the last course for a while and I'll be able to focus on other aspects of life.
The three day weekend is a welcome gift! Looking forward to hearing about everyone's health triumphs. Take care.
GOOD NEWS! FINALLY MADE IT TO THE GYM AND I'M DOWN ANOTHER 7 pounds!!! Thanks for all the encouragement through the many days I wanted to get to the gym but just couldn't get there.
Goodmorning ladies. Please excuse my absence, these past few days have been tough. I'm mourning the loss of a friend who, friday night/early saturday morning, decided to take her own life. I'm trying to cope with the guilt writhing inside my gut. We were best friends in high school, even up until a year ago when I turned my back on her. She was making choices that I wanted no part of. She was allowing the horrible things that happened to her in the past haunt her, causing negative effects on her day to day life. Her actions, her choices were becoming so malignant they began to effect my life, my family and I refused to let it go on. So I turned my back and walked away.
I saw her not too long ago, maybe 6-8 months, at the gym. She said she wanted to be friends again. She said she was doing better, making good choices and focusing on her future rather than her past. I didn't believe her so I did the first thing that came to mind, I lied. I looked her in the eye and said we could try again, then I walked away. She called me a few weeks later and we talked for over an hour about the incident that tore our friendship apart and again she asked if we could be friends again. Again, I lied. I never called her back, I planned my workouts during times I knew she wouldn't be there. I avoided her and thought nothing of it. Then, a few months ago, during a night out at the bar, I ran into her boyfriend. He informed me that Inge truely wanted to renew our friendship. He said she had no one, no friends to turn to, no one to talk to. He said she was very sad. He asked me if I could be her friend again. I said no. I was very cold towards him, my words unforgiving. I let him know that I wanted no parts of the lifestyle they had chosen and things between us were best left in the past. Then I simply walked away.
Saturday afternoon I got a call from another girl I haven't talked to in a while, Jessica. She was at the bar with Inge Friday night. Jessica told me that sometime after they left the bar, Inge put a shotgun to her stomach and gave up on life. She also said that while they were at the bar the night before, they were discussing Jen and I (the three of us were best friends. I am still best friends with Jen. But Jen also has a child and decided to walk away from her friendship with Inge in order to move forward in her life). Inge told Jessica that everything was resolved between the three of us and we were all still great friends. But that just wasn't the case. It breaks my heart, she was so alone that she felt the need to lie about a friendship that didn't exsist.
I consider myself to be a caring and understanding person. I go out of my way for people, I help whenever I can. However, this incident has forced me to look at a side of myself that I never new exsisted, it's ugly and I don't like it. I turned my back on someone I loved. I am ashamed of my actions, I'm disgusted with it all. I understand that it's not my fault she did what she did, things happened to her early on in life that she could never escape from. However, I am not proud of how petty I was. I am not proud of myself at all. I've spent the last few days trying to make peace with God. If there's anyone who can ease the nausea and the knot in my stomach, he can. I know that I need to tell her I'm sorry. She needs to know that I loved her and that I'm sorry. I don't think the knot will go away until I can say those things to her. I'm looking forward to the viewing for that reason only. I am scared to death of facing her boyfriend, and even more afraid of seeing her parents. We were all so close not too long ago, it's going to be very difficult.
I just wanted you all to know that I'm still here. I'm just a little bruised right now.
I can feel your heart ache. All I can think is that your plate has been extremely full and your first responsibility is those two beautiful little boys. With what you've been through it took great strength for you to pull away from a destructive crowd and work to rebuild your life. It is very, very, very hard to be a strong, wonderful, loving mother under any circumstances and then if you add your young age and your extremely challenging circumstances with your x, I really don't know how you could have taken that old friend under your wing, particularly since she was not changing her ways.
I think you can give her your love through prayer. I think that the best gift you can give the world including your friends and family is living a good life which is what you have been doing. You really have little control over the choices of others, but by your example and your good living you'd be amazed at how many people you touch and give to.
Please keep checking in and turn to this site for support. We are there for you. You certainly have been there for us with your bright, energetic, positive and loving spirit. You are on the right track - this wasn't your fault, you only told her you'd be friends again because that's what you hoped for, but I don't think you could actually do it without harming the one who you are most responsible for - those two boys. Take care. Know I care.
Penny-sorry about your MRI reports. Please keep us updated and know that you're being thought of and prayed for. You seem to be a pretty strong woman so just keep hanging in there.
Reds-I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. My mother went through a friends suicide about 13 years ago. It was very difficult for her and she put herself through many of the same thoughts you are having right now. About a month before Alma killed herself, she returned a book to mom that Alma had borrowed years ago and told mom, I thought I'd better return this-you never know when something will happen and I might not be here anymore. Alma mentioned several things that mom felt she should have picked up on. One thing that mom did that helped bring her peace was that she wrote Alma a letter. She placed in at Alma's graveside and it helped her let go of the hurt of losing her friend and the hurt of confronting her own fears and recriminations. Please know that you're being prayed for, as well as Inge's family. Don't forget to keep coming back here for support and encouragement. I do agree w/everything TOF said-you're not responsible for other people's actions but I do understand your hurt. Keep focused on your goals, taking care of your boys and continuing to be the kind, caring, responsible person you are. You're going to the best place in the world for comfort-so just keep going to God-He will see you through.
Hi Skinny, I missed you. Glad to have your wonderful wisdom back on board. I hope your vacation went well. When you get a chance, let us know. Take care.
