Location: A beautiful and peaceful place in the woods
Posts: 8,905
S/C/G: Stuck/Working on it/Good 2 Go
Height: Fun Size
Howdy all,
One more day of the long weekend to enjoy but I think it will be spent more on weekend chore catch ups. The holiday was nice, we saw 2 great fireworks shows - one Saturday and one Sunday. Thankfully they didn't get rained out. I tried to contain myself at the BBQs - didn't eat the whole picnic table but didn't really chose diet friendly either, truth be know. And I really should because I am feeling the burden of all this extra weight now. Truth be told, I am so tempted to just go back to smoking again. But I won't... because I already know from experience that won't help. It's just time to buckle down and give things up - like it or not. And today's a good day to start as I am feeling like a balloon.
Sassy, I'm sorry your family found out some things via the forum here. I must admit there is a certain openess in being somewhat anonymous even if we are out in the public Internet. Some folks here like Raven can relate even more closely to your situation. All I can say is please don't leave us and decide for yourself the best route to take.
Raven, it's good to hear that the horses are all settled into their new home and that you too can get settled back into a comfortable routine that you've been missing these last few weeks. Jolly, congrats on the loss for the week! Chachee hope your garage sale went well this weekend and good going on getting out for a walk with the puppies. Hippy, I'm on board with you about de-sugaring the system. I think that's my biggest problem now - I need to detox big time. Red, it sounds as if you are cruising along in your busy life too. Michelle, hope things are going better for you - did you make it to Summerfest or is that later in the year? I thought it was around our time of Taste of Chicago.
Sorry to be so quick here, half the day is almost over and I'm still in PJs - acckkk! Time to get busy here. I already have the water bottle in front of me. Today I really start getting back to portion control, getting things done and telling myself NO!!!! when I need to.
Enjoy the rest of the holiday if you get one and here's to a successful week!
Jolly: Way to go with the 250 mark! I'm very proud of you and the hard work you've done to get to this point. Excellent job!
Happy: So good that you didn't go back to smoking. I can only imagine what a temptation that is for you. Big high five for resisting.
Raven: Girl, stress is a killer and sometimes it's good to just cry and let it all out. Sounds like the horsies are doing well at their new home. Is that tough having them away from Rosa? I know things weren't well at the end with her.
And now, my girl Sassy: Big hugs from Alaska and my big old arms! I'm sorry someone took your posts/pictures and HAPPINESS and turned them into a negative thing. I know sometimes we post things here we wouldn't normally, but for goodness sakes, you were sharing your WEDDING pictures--a happy moment in you life--with you FRIENDS on this thread. You may not have been able to share with your family the happiness, but goodness, you already posted that you were planning three ceremonies and wanted to ensure each person in your life had the opportunity to share that blessing with you. Give me a break, and if the person who was the gossip is reading this, then SHAME ON YOU! Somethings are private and shared in a group of friends, not to be put on blast throughout the masses. That is not what this place is about, and don't you have more things to keep yourself(ves) busy than to search out a forum for a person and see what she was writing? That's not nice.
Garage sale went well. Made around $200 and, of course, spent it right away! Had a very nice weekend. Hubby's profit sharing check came in the mail, so we are now able to do our fence hopefully before my surgery.
I'm still up a few pounds, but that's okay. I'll face the scale and wait for Bat to return home. He's still enroute to some friend's houses!
Hi people. I'm going to make a bit of time for here since I've been negligent. I really feel out of the loop. Everyone seems to be away from the thread at the same time (when I'm looking for posts) and then there when I'm too busy to be there. It's lonely posting when nobody's around, like talking to yourself in an empty room.
Well, let's look what's going on.
*****
sweetnsassy -- I'm having a hard time understanding just what the problem is. I remember reading your posts and seeing your wedding pictures and there was nothing defamatory in them and nothing that seemed unusually private about others. Are you overreacting to what seems to be the overreactions of others? These are, despite their intimate nature, public posts. But again, I didn't see anything that could be used against somebody that should matter. Some people lock everything up inside and think that letting it out, thoughts, feelings, their daily activities is akin to selling one's soul to the devil or hanging dirty laundry out for the press to come take pictures of. These people have problems and to me it sounds like this is the case with the people who are trying to cause you pain and take you on a guilt trip with their own sick selves. Ignore them. Laugh in their faces, whoever they may be. Recommend a good shrink. Really, if you buy into their neuroses with a big reaction like you've given us hear, you're helping to perpetrate the sickness. You say four people got "very hurt." Well, these people need to toughen up and get out of their cocoons because again, there was nothing that was even vaguely injurious in your posts. They should realize that our world revolves around the Sun. Kick on!
jollygirl -- A big round of applause for you and your success! You're shaking, girl! Look at those stats, a full 25 pounds down in just four months. You say you're behind on your weight loss. What was your plan again?
raven -- It sounds like you've found a great spot for the horses. I'm very envious of the indoor ring to be. And heh, don't panic over what seems to be a highly emotional time for you. You sound like a very sensitive person (I think most people who turn to food and overeating are, they're mentally pretty together but fragile to the buffeting from the outside world) and like you said, even good things are stressful. We need buffers to protect us and even bad habits, bad environments act as these. When they are taken away, such as your previous stabling situation, you leave yourself open to the winds. Calm girl, deep breaths. You're OK and your kids don't need you apologizing anymore like some guilt-ridden jellyfish. You're strong and you're together and I'll bet they read your posts because hearing your thoughts, the highs and the lows, helps them with their own. Canter on!
happy -- Ah, barbecues and fireworks. I miss them. These are times for wallowing, for indulging and overindulging. We don't need diets and discipline at these occasions. Your nonsmoking, yes, great going there. Food is a celebration of life. Smoking is not. Now that the festival is over, now is the time to buckle up and get back on that road to your slim self. No floating away, Ms. Balloon. We need you down here with your sweet lovin' support!
chachee -- Sounds like things are looking well in your neck of the woods. Excellent choices back there with the Mexican gourmet and what a successful garage sale. 200 bucks is a nice amount though I know it doesn't go all that far anymore. You've got a great attitude with the scale and your weight loss. I need a bit more of that. It's early morning here and I'm sweltering in the heat and dying for a drink (of water that is) but am waiting for a bit and hopefully a couple more trips to the loo so I can then get on the scale and hope to see a downward trend. You see, that's no good. I'm stressing myself out and getting into this mindset of deserving, entitlement and such. I'm feeling I should see some payoff for all the hard work I've been doing and when I don't, which I don't I get into a vile mood and this is affecting everything in my life. God, give me some calm and patience!
Hey all. Just wanted to say hello. I hope everyone is doing well. The last month seems to be a time of floating for all of us. HEre's to motivation. To committing to ourselves. To putting ourselves first, so we have the energy to give to others. Here's to realizing that we deserve ONLY THE BEST. To forgiving ourselves for mistakes and being (big gasp) human. To treating ourselves the way we would treat a loved one, instead of having inner dialogue that would appall us if we heard someone saying it to another.
Commit to yourself. All of you are strong, wonderful women. We deserve it.
Location: A beautiful and peaceful place in the woods
Posts: 8,905
S/C/G: Stuck/Working on it/Good 2 Go
Height: Fun Size
Quote:
Originally Posted by jollygirl
... To forgiving ourselves for mistakes and being (big gasp) human. To treating ourselves the way we would treat a loved one, instead of having inner dialogue that would appall us if we heard someone saying it to another...
Wow Jolly, what a great head thunking comment there. Thank you for saying that. I think that's sometimes the behind the try too hard, beat yourself up, get down on your self vicious circle. I will carry that thought with me for the next few days.
On the same subject Red, if you don't mind my saying so, I think you also put too much value of success into the scale. It's like putting turf builder on your grass and then rushing out each day to measure it because it should be growning faster now that I've done some things. And we all know watching grass grow is a slow and tedious process. Perhaps you need to find other ways to keep yourself motivated - I think that's what bothers me more than anything about your posts. We all know that it's hard to stick consistently with a program but if you get sidetracked too quickly then you have to find another way to stay motivated. I'm good with visuals - if I can track my miles walked, make a paperclip chain for pounds lost, put stars on a calendar square - one for each good thing I did today - those are the things that keep me going. I was not perfect today but I did more things right today than yesterday so that's what I'm measuring today.
As far as posting goes, I am running in circles between staying up later than I should to be here (the evening runs away too quickly) or spending my evenings catching up on other things and not getting here often enough. Somewhere there's a happy medium, right????? Geez I hope so...
I got to bed really late last night - was watching a movie that wasn't worth staying up late for and now I MUST get to bed within the next 15 minutes. One of my biggest challenges besides sugar lately is getting to bed at a decent hour. At least if I go to bed I can't eat sugar.
Hellos to the rest of you guys - as Jolly said, here's to a great week for all of us. So far I've done well with the first 2 days...
Yes, jolly, great comment, great reminder. "Inner dialogue that would appall us if we heard someone saying it to another." This is true, though I believe in being hard on yourself, not mean, just disciplined. I mean, that is the goal as far as I'm concerned. But yes, there is a line between what is disciplined and what is tyrannical. This is what happy I think is saying.
And happy, you have hit it on the nose. I DO need other ways of staying motivated and I have been trying to think of them, envisioning getting some nice clothes, the kind I want, and feeling good in them. As for watching grass go, yes, that too is true. However, since I lead such an irregular life I have always found it hard to measure just what is the correct balance. And I have no problem doing lots of thing but the one thing, the very thing I want (to get the fat off) has always eluded me except when I was sick. I want to lose the fat AND be healthy but being healthy and exercising has never been a major problem. It's being fat and I'm sick of it. I'm fit AND fat. It's just not the look I want. Probably what it is that bothers you about my posts (is it?) is this seemingly narrow focus. But, I have to focus on this one aspect because that is the one thing I want that I don't know have. I just can gain so easily. If I'm not vigilant it's an easy 10 lbs in no time. In any case, I'm going to now err on the side of too vigilant. When in doubt, cut it out kind of thing. But no worry, I could cut way out as far as I'm concerned and it would still be more I guess than what naturally thin people consume. My body must be made for ultra survival type conditions. I'm finally coming to accept it instead of ranting and whining.
That said, you're right about needing to find other things, not necessarily motivations but things to take my mind off the weight loss plan a bit, not so much that I can hog wild crazy but enough that I'm not obsessing about it.
Ah, balance. It's everything, isn't it? Thanks for your help happy. You're great with your advice, tough and sweet.
Ok, gotta fly. Article due. Haven't even started it!
Good morning all. My focus is committing to myself - my best self. And that means finding balance. Balance in all things. To stay away from extremes. Extreme of hiding from the world, self, dreams and goals behind a wall of fat and self loathing. Beating the self up for lack of self control, lack of willpower, being stupid, being fat. Then - to fix. Because that is what we as women tend to do. Fix. Nurture. So, the extreme of control, control, control. Don't follow the perfect diet, the perfect workout, the perfect - whatever. Beat self up for lack of self control, lack of willpower, being stupid. All extremes. No balance. No love and respect for self. Those kind of control issues are what you see in eating disorders. To be a better person, a good person I MUST (emphasis on MUST) eat only lettuce and water, run 10 miles a day, throw up after any meals, because I am ugly, I am fat, I am stupid. Again, no love and respect for self.
I want my best self. I want balance. Food is needed to fuel the body, and sometimes it is for fun and social reasons as well. Exercise makes me feel better. I want to avoid extremes. Especially extremes that make me feel bad about myself because I can not be PERFECT. I want to love the person I am - warts and all.
Seems we are all struggling with balance lately--Red with balancing her scale issues, Happy balancing her time issues, and Jolly balancing her extreme issues. For me, my balancing act comes with how much healthier I feel versus what the scales might say. I love that we can come here, get advice, help, support and constructive criticism. It may be tough love sometimes, but its things we need to hear.
Tonight is weigh in for me and I am still going to be up. It's okay because my clothes are fitting better, my fitness level is really increasing, and I am feeling just more healthy all over. That's what it's all about really, isn't it?
Case in point...
My hubby bought a new bike seat and wanted to try it out. So, with my son in his seat on my bike, we headed out for a ride. It was about a 3 mile ride, with lots and lots of hills. Since my hubby and I have been together (6 years since we met) I have never been able to keep up with him on a physical activity. Well, ladies, I outbiked him. Yes, you heard right...he asked me to slow down. I wasn't even breathing heavy and he was extremely winded! I even had my son on the back of my bike! I told him, "I don't want to sound mean, but I can't believe you can't keep up!". He was very happy for me and it made me realize something.
The numbers on the scales are nice to have for knowing what progress you make. I think it's important to get on them once a week, but they are not the true indicator of how you are doing. My exercise has helped me incredibly and I feel so much better because of it. I sleep a lot better also. Now, I just pray it stays in the forefront of my mind this Winter. I have the exercise equipment, just need to keep on doing it!
Red: Keep plugging away, girl. I know it's hard, but you will overcome this. Self image is a booger to overcome. Just keep going with your exercise and if you have some extra skin left over when it's all done, it's just a reminder of what not to ever do to yourself again. I will have that when I am all done, and it's going to remind me of the lack of self-control I had for so long.
Jolly: Hey, floating is a good word. I think we all just kinda stood still for a month. Why was that? We will just have to time-share Bat and maybe he will soon retire and we won't have to see his woody face again!
Happy: Man, I know what you mean about managing time. I feel like I do so much for everyone else, I'm the one that suffers in the end. And it's usually my sleep that suffers. I've been trying to get more on a schedule lately.
Okay, let's be very good. Should we have a little challenge? Just wondering as that sometimes helps.
I really think we all need to post something positive about ourselves or what we did each week. Anyone else like that idea?
A good morning to you all. It's 4 a.m. here Thursday morning in Tokyo. The sun is not yet up in the land of the rising one. Up to get to the stable, then home for lots of work. Never did anything on that article last night. Couldn't sleep well. Weird dreams. It's so hot. My room is like a sauna. No air-conditioning and there's no breeze. It makes me stand the heat though so I when I ride I don't collapse.
Balance. That's a tough one, and I've been journaling about trying to find it for the last year. At least. First came the scale. I got comfortable with that, finally. But it took a long time. I can weigh myself now and it's just a number. Another piece of the puzzle to figure out if I'm on the right track or wrong. I used to obsess about the number. I'd weigh myself many times in a day, and if I bounced up, there was a great likelihood that it would destroy my motivation and I'd use that as an excuse to go eat. I don't do that anymore, thankfully. It's just a number now, finally. Balancing time is very difficult for me. I found a balance, then things got out of whack with the addition of the foster dog, the additional horses, the working at the stables for lessons, etc. I kept adding more and more thinking I could handle it all. Now I think I'm getting back to a more realistic schedule again. Still - little things like having to get my car repaired, or needing new headphones - the time and planning and scheduling can be daunting to me. The extremes have been, and remain, a problem. I must be perfect, I must exercise harder than ever, I must meet ever demanding goals, I must do, do, do ... and I burn myself out. Then I stop completely. I need badly to find some middle ground on the exercise.
Yes .. well .. anyway. This weekend should be completely different from the last year of weekends. My first weekend without having to make the long trek to the old stables. Hopefully I can start getting things normalized and get myself back OP.
Weigh in was okay last night. Considering I was almost 12 pounds up this time last week, my official weigh in was only up one pound this week. I can take care of that without a problem.
I am wearing a new skirt (size 16, thank you very much) and it feels great. It's summer and I'm actually wearing summer clothes. First time in several years I've felt comfortable enough with my body image that I can do it. Still leery about tanks, though, so I don't go there. Short sleeves are good enough!
Red: Hey, no problem. Encouragement is one of the things I do the best. I'm ready for a great month, so I will be you own burst of energy!
Raven: Be sure to tell us how the shorter commute goes. I'm so happy for you that your schedule will lighten up a bit with the horsies moved. I'm still waiting for you to tell me when you will be ringing my doorbell!! I have new furniture, a new entertainment center, new pictures and possibly a new fence by the time you get up here! Just waiting with mint julips (sp?) in hand......
Okay, ladies, have a wonderful day! Here's to a great week/month/year!
Hey all. Keep some kicks and motivation coming my way. For reasons totally unknown, I am having a serious energy drag. I missed my workout for the first time in weeks this morning. I am just dragging at work. And of course, I overeat when I am tired. Sigh. I am sleeping. Taking my vitamins. Just don't know what to do. Calgon, take me away.
Patterns. I see one developing. Twice in the last 18 months I have lost 30 pounds, fallen off plan and gained 10 pounds back, gotten motivated and done it again. I seem to hit that 30 pounds and it's like I panic. It's too dramatic a change. Not only for me, but for my boyfriend as well. I wonder how much of his discomfort I'm eating, so to speak. I don't like that I gain the weight back, but at least I am recognizing the pattern. I had a brief panic attack about getting back OP yesterday, but feel better today. The food is starting to fall into place again, and this weekend I hope to add in more structured exercise. That's difficult, but it can happen, I just need to start doing it and then try not to burn myself out by demanding too much from myself. Richard also seems to have relaxed again about my weight, so I think now that we're both in a comfort zone again, I can start moving forward. It's fascinating to me that neither he nor I are happy with me being overweight, but if I drop too much too fast, we both get freaked out. Humans are very odd.
So if I do my usual, it's time to drop another 30 pounds.
Location: A beautiful and peaceful place in the woods
Posts: 8,905
S/C/G: Stuck/Working on it/Good 2 Go
Height: Fun Size
Mornin' chickies Quick check in for me.
Congrats Chachee on the NSV with the new skirt. You are doing fabulous, keep it up!
What a neat mental image Red - Land of the Rising Sun. I've heard that before but somehow you pairing that with getting up at *gulp* 4AM gives new meaning. 4am to me is a reluctant potty run knowing I still have a few more hours of sleep left
I went to the doctor yesterday and he upped my thyroid meds a bit because I was at the very low end of acceptable. Since that not only affects weight but quality of sleep and achy joints and things like that, I'm hoping it will help make me feel a bit better.
I am somewhat reluctantly getting back on the wagon again. Dragging my feet like a 2 year old, don't know why. It's the old gotta do what you gotta do thing. *sigh* I've been looking for jobs lately - at least there are some little signs of an economic recovery. I just need to go find my enthusiam for life. I think it's hiding in a corner of the closet or under the bed or something...
But it is coming back. Sounds some of you also are having this problem. Maybe it's in the air. A few deep breaths and maybe we can blow away the bad stuff. 1... 2... 3... puff, puff, whoooossshhhhh!
Location: A beautiful and peaceful place in the woods
Posts: 8,905
S/C/G: Stuck/Working on it/Good 2 Go
Height: Fun Size
Bump! Hey we're in danger of drifting to page 2. Although it generally does get quiet here on the weekends. I have a family BBQ tomorrow and today will be spent on cleaning, chores, laundry and making food lists.
I picked up Dr. Phil's book yesterday. I have changed my mind about him - decided he's not so bad after all. I could use a good kick and some whacks with the bat. It's high time I started making some changes and reading has always helped to give me a better mindset. So off I go. Have a good weekend all...
Had a very nice weekend. Hubby's profit sharing check came in the mail, so we are now able to do our fence hopefully before my surgery.
crreating a calm within the storm. . .
top of the mornin' to you!
Quick check in for me. 
It's the old gotta do what you gotta do thing. *sigh* I've been looking for jobs lately - at least there are some little signs of an economic recovery. I just need to go find my enthusiam for life. I think it's hiding in a corner of the closet or under the bed or something... 
