Hello all Royals, having 3FC blogged in usual rambly fashion about my .6 weight loss this week & my New Year's Resolution, I'll just say YES to you, Wildfire on making this coming year about the ME principle.
I agree that if we don't take care of US, who will? This, I think, includes a lot of healthy work for me on self-esteem and not internalizing the negativity of others either towards me or just in general. I am not gettin' any younger here, friends, lol, and I need henceforth to go forward on removing toxicity and negativity from my sphere.
I've said that before but haven't really done it lol.
This is my year to do it.
Goals include, as I've noted here and elsewhere where I palaver about food, a better relationship towards food and cooking at home more, realizing that I am and always have been an excellent cook, so why don't I cook more instead of trying to follow the latest fad or eating processed junk or high calorie treats (which are okay in moderation but ... see my sig ... red velvet cake is OUT until next Winter Solstice) and listening to the universe & diet gurus as to what I should eat, do & be.
I also will increase my daily steps incrementally & GET A JOB (somehow, somewhere lol).
Just rambling, will firm all this up in wee brain as the week goes on.
Queenly folk, the bells are going off all over. I apologize for the length and involvedness of the following but ... this is the place for it, I believe.
I've been reading "A Course in Weight Loss." The first lesson deals with identifying where/what you associate negative emotions with and giving them over to a higher power. I had a big breakthrough this morning, looking at anger. I'd been reading the book before I headed out on a walk last night and was heading home when a great deal of anger resurfaced towards my SIL and the way she dominated the family reunion and cut my family out of it last summer. ANGER! I was SO mad, just going over it and over it. Thinking about releasing the anger but feeling like I wanted to hold onto it.
So this morning, when DH and I were walking, I was talking to him about it, about my feelings that I didn't want to release the anger. Then, he walked a little farther than I did (I was going to yoga) and while I was walking by myself, I felt so much sadness under the anger. I had an epiphany -- I was angry because I've done so much for SIL -- used to drive 45 minutes every other day or so to give her Reiki treatments when she had cancer, have had numerous parties for her birthdays, etc. etc etc. She, on the other hand doesn't even always remember my birthday.
DH said how generous I'd always been to her. My epiphany was that it's not about generosity -- it's about self-sacrifice. I've put her needs above my own many, many times and I need to stop doing that. The year that she was diagnosed with cancer, I had dedicated that year to my self-nurturing. But then she was diagnosed and I took a back seat, scrabbling hard just to keep up with what was necessary. She recovered and has been cancer-free for years and we're all grateful for that but I need to look after myself.
It all goes way back -- I was the eldest of a whack of kids, one after another, and I came to understand that I should not have any needs or show them if I had them. So, lots of work to do there but I do feel that I'm on my way. It's like when the log jam breaks.
Amarantha, I feel like the book is going to be extremely helpful. I've got some problems with her God and trying to find a way to think of it that works for me, and I'm not totally sold on the "powerless to do this on my own" concept but o/w there's a lot of powerful stuff. Huzzah on the .6!
And then, Kaylets, I remember the same thing happening to me when I went low-carb -- you think that you've got all these deep-seated psychological issues and then the eating disorder dissipates in a puff of smoke when you stop eating wheat, rice, etc. I haven't read Wheat Belly yet but I gather it's not just wheat?
Anyway, I know that cutting back on that stuff will make this journey a lot easier, even if there are psychological issues to deal with.
Wildfire, you and me both -- this is going to be the year that I actually look to my own needs and, even if my nearest and dearest need stuff, I will not make myself an afterthought.
WSW, I hope those pesky technical difficulties leave you alone pronto!
Hmmmm.... shan't bend your ear any further. Love to all, in the Palace or wandering.
__________________ Onederland by New Years
Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Arabella, I have found the book more helpful than I had originally expected. I also have problems with her concept of God & the idea of being powerless to do it myself. I ignore the God concept & accept that I have indeed managed weight successfully on my own for a really long time & that I do not need a guru. When I filter it that way I find the book really a practical companion in checking my relationship with weight & food.
I am really interested in your thoughts on the book.
I also have anger issues, I think everyone does & that anger is high on the list of emotions related to dysfunction re food & weight.
It's a beautiful Christmas morning here, the first one without DS but DH and I have had a cozy start to the day. I am spoiled. Now for a long walk and then a festive breakfast. Still a Buche de Noel to make for the party at DIS' place. 'Twill be spectacular, which is always fun.
Am2, I believe you are right -- anger is way up there and it's definitely an emotion that I've "not felt" a lot in the past. Rarely, rarely get angry. Re: the book -- if the intensity of the lessons continue, it's going to be quite the journey. I've barely ventured a toe into the first lesson -- one emotion -- and it went way deep.
Our approach to the book is identical. Huzzah!
Love to all my beloved Royals, whether in the Palace or on walkabout. Wishing you all the very, very merriest.
__________________ Onederland by New Years
Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
It's a green Christmas here, but the forecasters say it will be very, very white this time tomorrow. I'm okay with green.
Once again, my "adult" daughter ruined the holiday by storming off in a huff over nothing, refusing to spend the night with us as planned and instead went home to an empty apartment. If she expected us to chase after her, she was sorely disappointed. She is supposed to be here with my granddaughter (who spent last night with her dad) today. I do expect she will show because ALL of the little one's gifts are under our tree, but it will be with much attitude and scowling. Congrats to her, she ruined another Christmas and will be ignored for her efforts while we focus on the four year old princess.
Every year I say I'm not doing this big Christmas thing again, yet every year I do. I'm thinking next year will be different. I spent ALL day yesterday baking and cleaning and wrapping - all for the benefit of DD and Princess, and this is the thanks I get. What's the definition of insanity...right...doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Well, bird is in the oven, neighbors due to join us at 4:00, and this time tomorrow it will all be over.
Sorry for the vent...
I hope wherever you are and whoever you are spending your holiday with brings you much happiness!
Wsw, SO happy to see you and hope you had a good Christmas!
Ditto to all royals!
I LOVE the ordinariness (is that a word?) of the day after Christmas. I DID eat extra calories for the past few days, thought I was on a good roll yesterday but ended up adding a nice Christmas night meal as my mood had been kind of going down all day. Still hoping for a loss this week but looking forward now to my newest GOAL DAY OF GETTING INTO THE 120s, which is January 13! Woot! I will do 'er.
Super Duper Chef, the Queen, with her goal of reaching the 120s by December 30 & cooking more at home, has left the palace & Diet Wise Woman, Healthy Weight Management & Fitness Empress & Wise Woman has returned.
Naturally, we have been eating too much in this always uneasy time between Christmas & the coming New Year. S’ok, we’ll hop on tomorrow for a double check but we don’t seem to have gained anything since the last weigh-in.
And it stops here.
Diet Wise Woman, Empress & Queen of Her Own Life, is up early to finish a real-world, career related project, then she’ll return to sleep for a bit, but she has been thinking deeply about this weight & fitness issue.
Earlier in the day, there was a little argument between Diet Wise Woman and all the imaginary characters in her diet centric head. Seems some of them were asking the rhetorical question as to WHY we here in Healthy Weight Management & Fitness Land continued to wish to keep working towards living life in a fit and sane-weight body when things are so changed in her non virtual life.
Why not give up & let obesity claim her once more?
Silly question, of course we won’t do that & won’t even dignify it with an answer lol.
Anyhow, assessing our chance of getting to the 120s on December 30, our chances are slim, none & nada.
So we have been evaluating dates, reclaiming our sane appetite control and resetting our next OFFICIAL weigh-in date and will do that on January 1, 2013! That is a Tuesday! Yay! We are starting a little challenge to EAT AT A SANE CALORIC LEVEL AND CONTINUE TO EXERCISE AS PLANNED until then and other than a quick unofficial check tomorrow morning, which will be private between us and us, we’ll leave the scale alone. We will see where we are on January 1 and then regroup.
Although Super Duper Chef has departed, we will still be heavily into cooking at home in the palace in 2013. Diet Wise Woman, the Queen & Empress of her Own Life, will do all the cooking using sane ingredients & methods known to her from old times.
As for moi, Am the Queen/Empress of her Own Life has no profound words on the world, the government, fiscal cliffs, Fitbits, caloric intake (except hers was good today), intermittent fasting, deep philosophy, the ups & downs of internet life or the year 2012 that she believeth hath already departed the Land Down Under where she hath friends, and which will soon be waving good-bye to the similar Land Down Under on this side of the world, the glorious state in the U.S. in which Am resideth.
Said Queen/Empress Am is walking up a storm today on her Fitbit program. She never goes anywhere on NYE so she might as well burn calories in hopes of a nice NY’s weigh-in. Waiting to watch The Rifleman, to which she is addicted.
The world did not end on December 21. Life. Goeth. On.
We here in the Land of Am & Her Canine Princess Companion need a wee nana nap before people start setting off fireworks and making loud noises that will make all the dogs in the neighborhood bark and go crazy.
Happy, Happy New Year to All!
Last edited by Amarantha2 : 12-31-2012 at 07:34 PM.
HAVING COME SAFELY THROUGH THE PORTAL TO THE GLORIOUS YEAR 2013, Queen/Empress of Her Own Life & Super Duper Chef Who is Cooking More at Home But Going to Have Non Red Velvet Bakery Cake Today, did indeed conduct, with her imaginary diet friends, an official weigh-in in lieu of her usual one that would have happened last Sunday. She also took measurements & they are the same except she gained .5 in calves (good, that's muscle) & .25 around neck (also good, at her time of life she needs a strong neck to hold everything straight).
She now has a baseline of data, especially SCALE WEIGHT, which is NOT as we we know the only measurement of healthy weight management & fitness but it is one that is meaningful to the Queen/Empress!
THE VERDICT: One pound up from December 23, 2012 weigh-in, now at 133.8, 16.2 pounds down from mid-January of 2012. Heading now to 120s, vastly improved fitness level since Fitbit step program & still lifting weights and being generally active. Career issues to be tackled this month AND next holiday weight management target is going to be Valentine's Day, with that weigh-in to be conducted on February 10 and a goal set next Sunday.
Last edited by Amarantha2 : 01-01-2013 at 12:42 PM.