I guess I was stressed this morning. I ate a bowl of cereal and refilled it afterwards like I should never do. I got up and walked to the store figuring I'd burn it off, got my bf some small gifts, and upon coming home all **** broke loose. I have not moved from this couch since about ten. Except to eat. And pee.
A 3-egg omlette with jalapenos probably more bacon bits than egg, and plenty of salt plus 2 pop-tarts later I want to cry, throw up, curl into a ball and do nothing until tomorrow. I even called the bf earlier saying I'd get dressed up since we are going to the movies tonight and he was all excited. Now he's probably going to come home to me, unshowered, in a beat up hoodie and sweatpants, chainsmoking, in a pissy mood not wanting to go anywhere. I look so bad. I feel so bad. I'm miserable. I can't bring myself to do anything...haven't gotten on the scale today to know if my fears of gaining back all the weight I've lost are founded or not...I just feel awful. Screw Valentines day and it's need to be sexy and happy...rather the need to fake it when I'm not anyways.
If I made no sense here I'm sorry. I'm in a bad place.