I am interested to "talk" with spouses or partners of a person with Asperger's Syndrome (AS). I've looked around on the web but do not find a place like 3 fat chicks supporting spouses or partners of someone with Asperger's.
In December, I looked up AS thinking there might be ideas for AS/non-AS marriages that I might apply to my situation. After reading a few lists describing what an AS/non-AS relationship looks like, I started thinking that I might have actually found the right thing. I then learned a few daunting things: it's hard to get evaluated properly (and inexpensively), there're few resources, and it's a long road.
In the end I thought, I needed mostly support first to talk about living with someone who may have AS and try to find some sanity for me.
We have two boys. We've been married since '97 and the same age. I thought that my husband was depressed after we got married because we were living in the US longer than we planned (he's from S. Asia). After years of feeling guilty and trying so hard to cheer him up, we were in a "non-violent communication" group at my Quaker Meeting and realized he's got to own his personal "cheering up". From then, I stopped jumping through hoops and I realized that I was really the only one who ever tried.
I'm not interested in leaving the relationship. We have two kids. I realize that he is who he is. I want to find a way to acknowledge each of our needs and find ways to be supportive of each other. I also think I need a separate place to talk with others in similar situations.