I'm angry and sad...

Isabelleblue · 02-21-2011, 11:54 AM

Ok, so today I had my appointment with my dietician. I see her every two weeks. She is a very nice woman, very supportive and it just feels good to go there every two weeks, because it helps me keep track of my weight and the support is good.

But... Since the beginning of January I haven't lost weight, but gained about 8 pounds!

She told me today that I only gained weight since January and that she can't help me anymore and that this was the last appointment

I feel like she dumped me or something, it's so frustrating. I was under the impression that eventually I'd get there and that she was there to help me find a diet that is compatible with me... But she just dumped me! I'm angry and sad at the same time.
This really feels like I've hit rock bottom

I mean: if a dietician specialized in overweight people doesn't even want me there anymore because I've gained so much weight.. who will want me?? I feel like a monster or something!

ParadiseFalls · 02-21-2011, 12:03 PM

Hmm...maybe she's hoping you'll get back on track and come back to her when you're ready to really do this? That sounds harsh, and I don't mean it that way, but maybe she feels like she's wasting her time NOT because you can't do this, but because right now you aren't willing to do it. She's a dietician — her job is to come up with a diet plan for you, right? If you're not following it, there's nothing she can do. Now, if you're looking for someone to kick your butt and make you follow the plan, maybe a personal trainer would be a better choice.

As someone with your starting weight, I can say that for me, having someone tell me how to eat wasn't what I needed. I needed to actually eat that way.

bargoo · 02-21-2011, 12:07 PM

It sounds to me that she suspected you were not following a diet or taking her suggestions , because you were gaining, not losing. Be honest were you on a diet ?

Isabelleblue · 02-21-2011, 12:11 PM

I think both of you might be right... I wasn't following her diet very well and actually overeating all the time..

Lori Bell · 02-21-2011, 12:13 PM

Paradise hit the nail on the head iMO.

This lady is a dietician, not a therapist, or a personal trainer. I think she feels that you are unwilling to follow any diet, because you...well, because you aren't. She can't help you until you are ready to help yourself. Maybe this is the kick you need?

Isabelleblue · 02-21-2011, 12:14 PM

Thanks you both for your point of view. She wasn't dumping me, she probably wasn't the right thing for me. Maybe I do need that kick in the butt

Isabelleblue · 02-21-2011, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lori Bell

Paradise hit the nail on the head iMO.

This lady is a dietician, not a therapist, or a personal trainer. I think she feels that you are unwilling to follow any diet, because you...well, because you aren't. She can't help you until you are ready to help yourself. Maybe this is the kick you need?

You're right. I do feel like I got that kick and think that it all comes down to me making an effort instead of someone else doing it for me... It all feels like a reality check!

spixiet · 02-21-2011, 12:20 PM

Even if you were overeating all the time, did she ever talk to you about why? Was the diet plan to strict/difficult to follow/incorporate into your lifestyle? There are so many ways to lose weight - did she ever try adjusting your plan to find a balance? So many weight loss shows make losing weight seem absolutely miserable, but it doesn't have to be (not that I'm saying it's easy in any way). Also, if they overeating is in any way a binge behavior or tied to emotional struggles, did she ever recommend any kind of counseling? I would think that a dietician would be fairly familiar with all the emotional components of weight loss and at least offer guidance if were having difficulties. Now, maybe she did all these things, and you weren't willing to put in the effort on your side. However, if she didn't, shame on her -

DisgruntledOne · 02-21-2011, 12:26 PM

I commend her for not working with you(eek that doent' sound the way I mean it). These day people are so dishonest and will take your money no matter if something works or don't work. I say give it some time and when you are ready to honestly start trying to lose weight see if she will take you back.

spixiet · 02-21-2011, 12:28 PM

Oh, and major hugs

I'm sorry you're feeling so down and rejected. Maybe try not focusing on the weight for at least a short of period of time. Think of things about yourself that you do like: intelligence, sense of humor, talents, skills, etc. To often, we define our worth by our weight or perceived beauty...there is so much more to a person than the number on the scale. Mandalinn (a member here), has a quote in her signature line that says "Failure is an event, not a person," or something to that effect. So you tried and failed - so what?? Anyone who claims to have never failed has probably never tried to do something difficult. The important thing is what you decide to do next. Are you going to give up, wallow in self-pity, or learn from your difficulties? Best wishes to you and good luck on your journey

Isabelleblue · 02-21-2011, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spixiet

Oh, and major hugs

I'm sorry you're feeling so down and rejected. Maybe try not focusing on the weight for at least a short of period of time. Think of things about yourself that you do like: intelligence, sense of humor, talents, skills, etc. To often, we define our worth by our weight or perceived beauty...there is so much more to a person than the number on the scale. Mandalinn (a member here), has a quote in her signature line that says "Failure is an event, not a person," or something to that effect. So you tried and failed - so what?? Anyone who claims to have never failed has probably never tried to do something difficult. The important thing is what you decide to do next. Are you going to give up, wallow in self-pity, or learn from your difficulties? Best wishes to you and good luck on your journey

Thank you

ParadiseFalls · 02-22-2011, 04:21 AM

It sounds like you're ready now to really kick some butt!

If you ever need a weight-loss buddy, accountability partner or just someone to talk to, I'm here, and I'm sure the rest of these lovely ladies are, too. We all need support, which is why 3FC is so awesome

Isabelleblue · 02-22-2011, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ParadiseFalls

It sounds like you're ready now to really kick some butt!

If you ever need a weight-loss buddy, accountability partner or just someone to talk to, I'm here, and I'm sure the rest of these lovely ladies are, too. We all need support, which is why 3FC is so awesome

Thanks

Yes, I love this site more every day!

I feel so much better today! Time heals (even one day)

I was so angry yesterday and confused, but you guys really put it all in perspective! I found some replies confronting, but I needed it! I now know it's up to me. And guess what, I didn't overeat today!

(and that's a first for me..)
Thank you all for the support!!