I'm so depressed today that I feel like going back to my self abuse

[HermersSis]

I can't take this crap anymore! Whenever, I'm doing decent on a diet it's like everything crashes in. Now I have this stupid Marine boyfriend and I only have 8 months to see him and be in shape AND have my boob surgery by then. My mom won't go away to her freaking rehab clinic and all she does is aggravate me ALL DAY. On top of it, she eats like a pig all the worst stuff people can eat but for some reason SHE loses weight. Does anyone know how embarrassing it is to weight A LOT more than your mom? She buys all this crap food and I have to be around it all the time too!

I'm so damn confused. I want to eat lean cuisines but they have so many calories in them and I don't know how many calories I'm even supposed to eat to reach my goal or anywhere remotely around it by June to have enough time to get my breast fixed too. I don't know what to eat at all. I hate cooking and never have time to. I can't just NOT eat, I have to eat multiple times per day. i have to constantly study while trying to figure out what to eat multiple times per day while driving my mom around for her stupid habit multiple times per day while worrying about how I'm going to lose weight or even have the money to have a semblance of an appropriate body by the summer next year.

I can't take this anymore! I wish they would lock me away somewhere and leave me to rot.

[lazylioness]

WOW!
Breathe!
Take a step back and look at what you have already accomplished. You cannot tackle everything at once, (no one can). So just start with things one at a time.

You cannot control your mom, or what she eats, or how she loses weight, or if she goes to rehab.

You can look online at a site like livestrong.com and put in your height and weight, and weight loss goals and it will give you calorie information, how many you need to eat etc. It also has a food log feature.

Start small and take care of yourself. Remember to BREATHE and walk away if you need to.

[dewdrop1970]

It is very apparent that you are feeling overwhelmed--and I totally understand why with everything you have going on.

I agree with the other poster that taking a deep breath and focusing on what you have accomplished will give you an inner peace. Then, take small steps to get to where you want to be.

Keep your focus, keep your plan, and remember we are here to listen when you need to talk.

[Lori259]

Ignore everything u typed & that is on Your mind & put u first ~that is the only way u can suceed sounds like to me with the craziness happening around & too you...Ignore,mothers,boyfriends, ect.~You have to do this on your own & there will be people out to make it not happen ~u gotta put it in your mind that it is going to happen regardless of what anyone throws at ya~Including life & Go for it & hang in there.~U CAN DO IT! JUST TELL YOURSELF U ARE WORTH IT & DO IT & SHOW EVERYONE U DID IT! (if u need a friend messsage me ~I am online most everyday) I had a mother laugh & eat everytime I was on the phone with her On how she weighed so much less than me ~now she has gained all her weight back up to around my start weight & I am in the 130's~I let her go in one ear & out the other & finally just told her to leave me alone...(Just as an example) I told my kids I wasswitching the food in the house & they did not like it but they dealt with it & they have lost too because of it....YIPPIE! Anyways...Just put your weight loss yout top priority & U will & can achieve your goal.

[HermersSis]

Originally Posted by Lori259

Ignore everything u typed & that is on Your mind & put u first ~that is the only way u can suceed sounds like to me with the craziness happening around & too you...Ignore,mothers,boyfriends, ect.~You have to do this on your own & there will be people out to make it not happen ~u gotta put it in your mind that it is going to happen regardless of what anyone throws at ya~Including life & Go for it & hang in there.~U CAN DO IT! JUST TELL YOURSELF U ARE WORTH IT & DO IT & SHOW EVERYONE U DID IT! (if u need a friend messsage me ~I am online most everyday) I had a mother laugh & eat everytime I was on the phone with her On how she weighed so much less than me ~now she has gained all her weight back up to around my start weight & I am in the 130's~I let her go in one ear & out the other & finally just told her to leave me alone...(Just as an example) I told my kids I wasswitching the food in the house & they did not like it but they dealt with it & they have lost too because of it....YIPPIE! Anyways...Just put your weight loss yout top priority & U will & can achieve your goal.

Thank you, and to everyone else!
I made myself feel better by going grocery shopping and buying an *** load (literally) of veggies, vegetarian stuff, fish and other things I can make good food with. It made me better to see a house full of tools I can use.

You're right though. I need to think about myself. I just get so stressed with everything around me and worried that my bf won't like how I look when I get to see him. I guess it comes down to, with him, I can do the best I can do and if he doesn't like it then I'm sure if I've done my best someone else will.

[Lori259]

WOOHOOO NOW YOUR TALKING! ~GREAT CHANGE OF ATTITUDE! ~always look back and read what u just wrote when U feel that way ever again!!!(HUGS)

[HermersSis]

You're a sweetie Lori, I love your positivity.
Do you ever talk on a messenger or anything?

[Lori259]

I am on facebook~I can message u my name if u do facebook!