Hello to all.
I'm just going to jump right in...
My husband has been obese for most of his life. There was a brief period from 18-23 where his weight was much more under control, but since then it has steadily crept up. When we began dating 7 years ago, he was already obese, but he has since put on about 30 more pounds. His BMI is nearly 50.
On the plus side, his blood levels are normal, he is not pre-diabetic, he maintains a decent blood pressure, and he is able to get around very well. He has an incredibly large frame and a lot of muscle. He would be unhealthy at a "normal" weight for his height, and a lot of people are surprised when he tells them his weight since he carries it so well.
Unfortunately, however, he is running into some health problems with sleep apnea and joint/back pain due to the excess weight. It wasn't so much of an issue when we were younger, but now that he's past 30, I've noticed that his excess weight gives him more trouble.
So that's the background...here's my point...
I don't know how to help him. I love him so very much. He is an incredible person- positive, funny, loving and so supportive. He is also very stubborn and prideful when it comes to his weight (he admits this openly). If I hint about eating healthy/exercise- like inviting him on a walk- he refuses and rebels.
I've tried the whole "setting a good example" thing. It doesn't work. He supports me in my efforts but is either too stubborn or too afraid to try things himself. We worked with a trainer last year, and DH got back to his wedding day weight. When the trainer said something about making better food choices, hubby rebelled, quit the program and gained all of his weight back.
He is not in denial. This is something we have discussed openly in a non-confrontational way. I try to stay positive, but it gets so difficult. Attraction and intimacy issues aside, I know sleep apnea can shorten your life. His joints and back will only get worse as he ages, and I'm afraid he'll end up like his dad, overweight and unable to move comfortably.
Do any of you have a similar situation? Or, is there someone who can offer an opinion from the other perspective? If you had a spouse that motivated you or vice versa, what worked?
Any input is appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this novel!