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Old 08-04-2008, 08:01 PM   #91  
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Hello all....

SO good to see a Fresh Start Monday.

Its been either too, too hot or TStorming...not good bike riding weather. And I miss it.

I needed to start the Black Cohosh for menopause again and may double what I'm taking.....either am dragging physically, mood to match or feeling just fine, mood to match again. Found a B vitamin blend sitting on my desk so started taking one of those a day when I remember and honestly, I can feel a difference in about 2 hrs after taking it. Wouldnt have believed it till I tried it.
Its made a difference 3 or 4 times now.......

Things very tense on the homefront. DS remains the issue. DH gave a date ultimatum that has come and gone with no one mentioning it. There have been some oblique references that I haven't understood and just didnt respond rather than "go there".

And believe it or not, politics are really creating tension too. Sometimes we think we know someone but realize we were wearing rose colored glasses.

Meanwhile, job-front latest merger rumours continue.


******

Silver--- so sorry to hear about your mom......Sometimes we have to just let these parent relationship's be what they are and enjoy them for that. I know I myself, wasted far too much time "remaking" a parental relationship. Luckily,
I understood that there were many things I would never like but were far more that I could admire, respect and love.
Try to enjoy.


Anagram....full circle. And a home retreat. Sounds lovely. Very lovely.

Wood Nymph.... you know, I'm beginng to wonder if wheat is making me drag around .....


Wsw..... are things dry now?


Kat....So sad when these youngsters think they have only one choice......
These things are so hard on those left behind.

Ok my friends....

ceara, how are you?


Here's tomorrows

*********
Thought of the day:

"Dwell in possiblilty"
Emily Dickinson

Question of the day:

"What could you possbily do?"

*****



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Old 08-06-2008, 09:13 AM   #92  
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Default Fresh Start Wednesday

And I need it. 212.6. Gain is mostly false, of course. Must not allow to become real.

I've been alternating between good and bad, having myself a little crisis. Not sure what it's about but... seems like some kind of coming to terms with stupid reality, maybe a last-ditch attempt to avoid same. And yet, I know it must be done.

Sound yoga weekend was wonderful but left me with the feeling that my life is much too constrained and limited. (Ahhhhhh!!! No wonder I've been depressed!) I've been exercising properly throughout, getting back to regular yoga practice.

Work is stressful (Yes, what else is new? ). Got to do something about it.

Kaylets Let's work on keeping our stress levels under control. Those DS issues can really challenge one, I know! But if we can manage our stress, we can handle anything! Oh, I love quotes and thoughts from yesterday...

Anagram, your leisurely days sound wonderful! I'm going to make sure that stuff is done ahead of the weekend so I can get a couple similar. And I fully intend to take 4 days the Labour Day weekend. Oh, Sister! Let us be serene!

Andria Look at you, smokin' along! You're going to be under the big milestone any day now. I really do feel like getting under these allow us to think of ourselves entirely differently. Am going to head back down, myself, inst. dashing away from the hurdle as fast as my fat little legs will take me.

Katgirl, when do you head for Ireland?

K, lies -- let's make this a good one!

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Old 08-06-2008, 11:25 PM   #93  
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Question Holy cow, where did the week go?

I can't believe it's been a full week since I've been here...this summer is really hurtling by! I can't really put my finger on what I've been up to. Well, work... okay, there's that. I worked 3 extra nights last week, and here it is, Wednesday again! Where does the time go?

I'd love to do a long, catch up post but I really should get my buns into bed. After work tomorrow, I have to go right to a meeting, and won't get home til probably 9ish. DH and I had a lovely beach day today. Weather was perfect, beach was glorious, and now I am one tired !

I promise to get all caught up again by the weekend!

I'll take one of those Fresh Start cards too, thanks!
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Old 08-07-2008, 08:40 AM   #94  
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A few sniffs here and there of fall coming. To have nice cooler weather this weekend. lots of yard projects being saved until then. I'm still on a slower pace this week. Trying to beat the everlasting fatigue but it just doesn't go. Doctor's visit next week. Working on a long list!

Sorry to hear of the homefront stress, Kaylets. Didn't realize DS was still with you. I have a friend whose son moved back in (I think) 3 years ago "temporarily" and he's still there. Plus lots of grandchildren time when it's his turn. Both she and her DS are very, very stressed with the long term change to their lives. He keeps telling them he's leaving soon but first he has to get a job, doesn't he? Not fully divorced yet either and that's all been nasty. He's not running wild or anything - in fact they wish he'd go out more - it's just the general upheaval.

So how was the little "cottage" at sound yoga camp, WN? Hmm, constrained? Lots of room for exploration there. Self constrained? Expectations of others constrained? You'll win the crisis battle, I know. But to me it seems these battles (mine anyway) are on going. I'm still always going in various directions seeking out what it is I really want.

I think I had for a long time what I really wanted. And I'm lucky in that. But there were then things I'd think of and say to me "well there'll be time for that later". And here I am in later and don't seem to want to do any of those things. Some of that is the durn fatigue but not all. Quebec showed me that. But there was still a lot of fatigue there. Spent lots of big bucks on a hotel room to sit there and "rest" - not that I didn't enjoy it. But that and the four day respite and my slower schedule this week have shown me (as if I didn't already know it) that the fatigue isn't being overtired from doing too much. Stress level down a bit though.

So happy to hear you had a perfect beach day, kat. Another little mini-anniversary celebration. Like birthdays, one can't celebrate anniversaries too long or too often.

to andria and wsw.

No real plans except to hit gym (oops, they don't like to be called that!) and make me beautiful. Should go look for bathing suits before they're gone (if not already). Down to my last one and once I start wearing that (I should get back to pool) it'll be gone in three months and certainly NO suits available then, at least not on sale and that's always my first criteria(um?)

Let's sing a happy little song and get on with it. I'm planning to see "Mama Mia" tomorrow and then that music will be in my head for a while, I'm sure.


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Old 08-07-2008, 07:12 PM   #95  
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Training the last few days has been so intense I had to think for about five minutes before I could remember what sessions I had attended. I knew there had been three days worth, but I couldn't wrap my head around the hours long enough to log them. My brain is spilling over with information right now. I just need some quiet time to sit and process it all before I forget what we learned. I did learn today that we have to complete 150 hours of teacher development every five years in this state. In the last four weeks, I've already finished 130. Yeah, guess I'll be covered.

The princesses are enjoying having their father here. I've been less stressed over his visit than expected, but I do wish I could spend time getting all this stuff together instead of dealing with a guest. *Note to self. Take a really long, pampering bath when his visit is over. I deserve it!

My mom called today, and her surgery is scheduled first thing on the 11th. I hope she doesn't find another reason to put it off, but I've been working very hard to distance myself emotionally from that portion of her decision. My mother's body is her own; the decisions she makes do not have to be the ones I would choose for her.

Ok, that all said, I need to get out of here and get to making dinner. I wish there was a place here that had healthy food for delivery. I'm too tired to cook, but I refuse to call out for pizza tonight!

*HUGS* to all!

Andria
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Old 08-10-2008, 12:41 PM   #96  
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Default Sunday in the Palace

211.4. I seem to have lost steam but am working at getting a head up again. I've been good/then bad/ etc. Not sure what the story is other than not enjoying work and feeling like it's eaten my life. That could be enough. However... I'm trying to deal with reality, get back on track.

Also could be some level of resistance to weight loss, some resistance to getting life on track.

There's a (very) belated family party today to celebrate my birthday and one of my sisters'. So I'll have to be on my guard from the get-go.

I woke up at 4:30 this a.m. Sat in the dark with a nice cup of tea and enjoyed the quiet street and soft breezes. Went out barefoot and nightgowned to the back yard and did qi qong and tai chi. Now DH and I are back from our walk, steps all but in for the day already.

My workload this week is killer-level but after the week's out things should ease up a big. I'm just adapting, changing my attitude. It can be done. It shall be done.

K, several hours later...

Andria, that's great that you've gotten in so many hours already! Any chance you'll share your writing with us? I'd love to read it!

Kat, summer has an awful tendency to hurtle, hasn't it. I dream that it will be different when I've got my house on the shore and am freelance again with enough money to take it easy in the summer.

Anagram, I'm working with the idea of accepting the present, trying to be alive to the moment. Neat trick if one can do it. In fact, a little nap sounds good. I might go attempt one...

WSW, how are things in your corner of the Palace?

Kaylets, hope DS stress resolves soon. I know, there's nothing much worse. So hard to look after our stress levels in these situations but it's our only hope!

K, dollings. DGS will be delivered in about an hour so if I'm truly going to nap (and I think I'll try) it behoovers me to go lie down. Love to all!
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Old 08-10-2008, 08:44 PM   #97  
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Well, I had a WHOOSH this week - 2 whole pounds overnight - but two days later it's WHOOSHED right back up. But it was just in time as I was toying with the idea of chucking the whole quest. Can't do that now, can I?

I've had another of those lazy weekends. Topped it off with a little concert in the park this evening. Lovely - it even got "cold" when a good stiff breeze came up. I finally went back to tai chi - first since shoulder surgery. Think I'll head out again tomorrow.

I'm trying to get more "in the moment" too WN. I think it's working. But it's hard when there's so much stress. My stress level is considerable down since I took the trip last month and then have had the last couple of "relaxed" weeks. I think I was at an all time (well, not really but each stressful period seems that way) about six months ago and have taken steps and worked diligently to reduce that. I know it was still pretty high in late June - or high again. Now if the painter actually shows up next weekend and finishes the job............................................... ....well, if not, I'll just have to give up on him and get someone else.

I loved the visual of your nightgowned highness out in the yard exercising.....must have been magical.

Ah, I feel so mellow. Hope it lasts.........

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Old 08-11-2008, 11:16 AM   #98  
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A little of the "whoosh" went away again - a little mini-whoosh, if you will. So I'm back on the wagon once again. Sigh...........208.8.

Hope all goes well with your Mom's surgery today, andria. Is you guest any help at all considering your hefty schedule right now?

Rain this a.m. but a pretty and coolish day now. Things to do but no rush, rush so I'm planning on tai chi soon. Laundry and all sorts of "dumb stuff" but no rush.

Did you get your nap, WN? Hang in during rough work week - not even EOM.

Hope your weekend was good and relaxing too, Kaylets Lots of rain your way? Hi wsw, hope you're still dry and that your POP saga has some happier ending. Away again this weekend, ceara?

So - once again - and they come so quickly - FRESH START MONDAY!

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Old 08-11-2008, 01:31 PM   #99  
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Wink Sneaky work post...

I thought I'd pop in for a minute before I head off to lunch. And by lunch I mean a good walk outside in the glorious post-torrential coolness. There is definitely a hint of a nip in the air. I love it, but still gives me that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that school's starting again soon...

Weight loss efforts are stagnating, but I'm happy there's been no gain. I'm holding steady at 268... I know that diligence and a serious boost in activity will take care of that. Also not stressing about it.

Oops... an interoffice email just came through about the need for extra effort to keep current, seeing as 'certain people' are going on vacation next week! I guess, seeing as I'm one of them, I ought to get back to work!

later, s!
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Old 08-11-2008, 06:42 PM   #100  
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My mom's surgery did not go well today. They opened her up and realized there was nothing they could do.

Andria
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Old 08-11-2008, 09:56 PM   #101  
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Ahhh, Andria... what can I say? I'm sorry. We're always here for you if you need to vent, cry, scream. Take care and be kind to yourself.

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Old 08-12-2008, 08:55 AM   #102  
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Red face Fly-by

213.4. And it's a wonder if I can actually get off the ground, the way I've been eating the past few days. I did great on Saturday. Then, at the party on Sunday, many people remarked that I'd lost weight and looked great. Coincidence that I encountered an unprecedented level of food-pushing? And, to be honest, I could feel that desire to cut loose. Too much wine, too many "treats."

Yesterday afternoon, I remembered that there was a big bag of premium potato chips in the cupboard and ate the whole thing with salmon salad. After which I nipped around the corner to get a pint of Ben & Jerry's NY fudge chunk. Which of course I finished. Can you say "binge?"

I could not sleep for the life of me last night. Woke up gripped by the mother of all hot flashes, totally soaked. Got up, changed my nightie, did a little work, laid down again. Might have gotten 2 hours sleep all night.

I'm resolving to return to eating only while seated at the table when alone. I'd been doing so well, gotten cocky because I felt in control and let the prohibition slip. Heard that one before

And then we have Andria's news And I think, why do we (I) waste so much of our precious time and energy over this food/weight thing? Surely it should be background rather than front and center in our lives? Working on pushing it back, letting life come forward.

Andria, honey, we're here for you, as Kat said. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kat, glad you got the time to sneak in! Do you have any amount of time off around your trip? Sounds like you've been working too much.

Anagram, I truly believe that's the key, managing to stay grounded in the present. Controlling stress levels. There's a real solid correlation there. And those things that help one also help the other.

I must dash. Got a meeting in five mins. and then have to get to the woods for a woggle. Then DH will be on his way home for lunch...

Oh, my darlings, let's take this day and do our best with it.




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Old 08-12-2008, 08:37 PM   #103  
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Hello all.....


Andria- So sorry to hear about your mom. I am sorry for her and for you too.
And yes, this is the place you can say whatever comes to mind.
This is your place.
We are here for you.





****Yes, Anagram, funny how these thoughts do come by and say,
Whats the point? .... and the answer is of course, because we do not like being this size!
I too feel as though I am dragging a lot. Started taking a B Vitamin complex and its amazing how much a difference I feel when I take it. Honestly, its more than a placebo. B12 is in it for sure. I also feel less on edge when I combine it with the Black Cohosh.


YIKES, I am grateful DS doesn't have any youngsters to bring home .....
THanks, that made me grateful.

DH is realizing his blood sugar numbers are very erratic which accounts for erratic mood swings too. That seemed to help just knowing it was the blood sugar numbers. We are hoping the weather will be not too hot or wild hail Tstorms ( which is what we've had now for nearly a month)...so we can get a real long bicycle ride in. In fact, he's exploring that on line as I write.

Ok...
Lets try this again.... my mornings do flow so much better when I know what the Thought of the Day is:

****
Thought of the day:

"I've had thousands of problems in my life,
most of which never actually happened..."

Mark Twain

Question of the day:

"Can you believe the Halloween candy is already in the stores?

*********


Time for me to get ready for the morning....
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:02 AM   #104  
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Thumbs up Okey-doke, let's try this again...

211.4. I suspect, at this point, that I've got some actual relosing to do. C'est la vie. I had a good day yesterday, despite fatigue. Reason being that I was determined, had my mind made up.

Kaylets, this weather isn't helping a bit! Exercise plans, moods... I LOVE the TOD and QOD, too.

TOD is a good one for me to keep in mind. What's the point of all this fretting over things? Life is so full of surprises!

Re: the candy in stores months ahead of any season -- well, you know it's to prey on and exploit people's addictions. First of all, it gives people an excuse to buy candy and tell themselves they're actually just being efficient, getting prepared. HAH! Then, when they work their way through the supplies, they go back for more. And the sugar has them in his steely talons. As soon as that holiday's through the candy will appear for the next one. I bet the ever-increasing rate of seasonal candy promotion is responsible for a sizeable chunk of

And you know, when you get off track it's so HARD to get back on. We must fight!

Anagram, let's link arms and charge the gates of Onederland, shall we? I've got to think that I'm dealing with resistance on some level here so I think that I'll have to get into attack mode. Resistance is futile!

K, I've got to head off to the gym. And I've got a big work day ahead. On the bright side, though, I've got a hair appointment ce soir so I hope to be gorgeous when next we meet.

Let's hit it, lies!


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Old 08-13-2008, 09:04 AM   #105  
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Another cool lovely morning here. Pato of P/C has been such a delight it's been hard to tear myself away.

Andria - I hope you have a PoP/C or something similar where you can go for short moments of peace. I'm so sorry to hear the news - sounds like Mom sort of had it right in her first reactions. You'll be on our minds and in our hearts. It's hard to believe how much life has thrown at you at one time but remember there is good there too.

Kaylets, those blood sugar things can be really tough. Hope you get in your long ride.

kat - you "certain person" you - nothing like them trying to guilt you! But you'll have the last laugh on your great trip. Wanna go, wanna go.

I'm on, Wood Nymph. I need something to get me back down. It's amazing how MANY times I've approached Onederland and managed to "save" me from crossing that border. My little "mental vacation" is continuing. I must get out of this stress mentality. Sometimes it's unavoidable but I am now firmly convinced that it can continue just as a "habit" when the pace evens out. I just have to remember that. Day beforeesterday when an unusually heavy amount of mial came, I found myself getting "agitated" about the amount of work that would be involved. But I stopped me before I got really into gear. Yesterday, only a flyer came. Divide by two and the first day's mail would not have seemed to fearful (though I admit the worst of the work is still sitting there Anyway, it's been almost two weeks now and it's been wonderful. They say it's three weeks to change a bad habit, no?

Seeing doctor this afternoon so weight will be up on his scale. After all, I wear clothes there But it's always a moment I hate. Have a long list to discuss with him. He always seems to take the time (billing more, of course) and does treat me like I know what I'm talking about. I do appreciate that.We only occasionally butt horns (like over my thyroid) and I would hate to have to change.

Other than that, just puttering on. I'm half heartedly trying to start sorting through more of DHs things. The garage stuff mostly since I figure that's a nice weather thing. So much there that could go............but I'm starting slowly - I seem to do that with everything.

High point yesterday - another outdoor concert (on lawn of library this time). A nice Americana/folk group called Voxology. Lovely evening, good music and the smell of popcorn tantalizing everyone. Sweet little teeners walking around selling that and other goodies......Yes, I bought some of the "other" but put it into freezer. It will be for me - eventually. But at least for now it went to freezer. I seem to forget when I have goodies there but when an "emergency" (binge time) comes, I'd rather have something I will savor and enjoy than do the mindless stuff I usually do.
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