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Brides to be! part deux

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Old 11-05-2007, 01:08 PM   #1
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Default Brides to be! part deux

The place for all your wedding planning (and related weight loss) madness. Post away!
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Old 11-05-2007, 01:16 PM   #2
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Woo hoo! Thanks for starting the new thread

Re: the alcohol issue- we are also microbrew folks and there is a GREAT microbrewery across from the wedding site I think we're going to have growlers brought in for the wedding party.

Well, we have officially hit the point where we are ready to take the money we were going to spend on the wedding and go to Europe or something. We didn't realize that the wedding is the weekend before the Democratic National Convention in Denver (big "oops" on that one!), although the wedding is in the mountains and you don't necessarily have to fly into DIA, the flights will be expensive regardless and there isn't a hotel room available at this point. Thank goodness we decided on a big block at our hotel!!!

I dunno, I want a wedding, Ross wants a big party, and we deserve these things, but we are ready to just throw our hands up and run off because of all the silly drama and endles whining.
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Old 11-05-2007, 03:03 PM   #3
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Thanks so much for the input ladies!!!

I kinda feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place though The venue I picked and put a big non-refundable down on (lol) won't allow any outside alcohol to be served, therefore I have to pay full price 4-5 dollars for every drink. They will however allow me to purchase bottles of wine from them to be placed on the tables which saves me a bit of money as I won't have to pay by the glass. I'm thinking if I came to a compromise like a twoonie bar or something it might be better?

Being able to give the guests a nice sit down supper in a beautiful setting was top priority for me and I'm kinda dreading the thought that guests will think we're being cheap because we really aren't between the cost of food and wine. I hope I don't regret my decision of the venue....
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Old 11-05-2007, 03:04 PM   #4
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I also have to add that you both have done such an incredible job with your weight loss, what an inspiration you are!!! I love seeing people who succeed, it gives me faith I can too
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Old 11-05-2007, 09:53 PM   #5
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Can I play? I'm Shannon and my partner and I are planning our commitment ceremony for June 20, 2009. That is our 5 year anniversary! We are already "legally" commited, we registered with the state as domestic partners September 29, 2005. I'm excited to be planning our ceremony!

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When we started dating I lost some weight very quickly, just being happy and love sick! I've lost my motivation between work and school, but I'm trying to get back on the wagon. I'd like to lose 85 pounds by June 1, 2009 so that I can order my wedding dress!

Shannon
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Old 11-05-2007, 11:13 PM   #6
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Shannon - We did that! Sarah and I had our ceremony April 21st of this year. If you need any info on same sex ceremonies, I am your woman (I have all the books and websites and...and... )
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Old 11-06-2007, 11:39 AM   #7
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Thank you! I'd love it if you could point me in the direction of some websites, I haven't had too much luck. I have found that The Knot has a handful of same sex weddings featured. Where did you have your ceremony? I think we've decided on The Mendocino Hotel and Garden Suites, Mendocino is our special place and we'd love to share that with friends and family. They are right across the street from the ocean, so we can have our ceremony at the cliff's edge and then the reception at the hotel.
We are having a fairly traditional wedding I suppose. I will wear a wedding dress. I have no clue what Shelley will wear. She wants to pick her out outfit but does not want to wear a suit, dress or tux. I am going to guess that it will either be khakis with a white linen shirt untucked, or with a Hawaian print shirt. I'm going to carry a bouquet of circus roses and Shelley will wear a lei.
We have lots of time to plan though, thank goodness! In the summer we are going to spend a few days in Mendocino firming up plans with vendors and putting down deposits. Then we'll have another year to iron out all the details.

I have a question for you about ring exchange. We both wear sapphire and diamond rings, our engagment rings. Because of that I'm not sure we will do a ring exchange in our ceremony. Shelley does not plan to wear anything other than her current ring. I would like to have a diamond band made to fit with my current ring. Did you do a ring exchange? Do you wear engagment rings and wedding bands? Or something else? Thanks for your input! We don't know any other couples who have had a ceremony before, or even done a domestic partnership before. All of our lesbian friends are content in long term relationships with no legal commitments........

Shannon


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Originally Posted by mandalinn82 View Post
Shannon - We did that! Sarah and I had our ceremony April 21st of this year. If you need any info on same sex ceremonies, I am your woman (I have all the books and websites and...and... )
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Old 11-10-2007, 10:06 AM   #8
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Mandalinn- So glad to hear you are back up and almost running!!! Me, too! I start at the gym next week... thank God!

BuffBride- Cash bar weddings are very common in Wisconsin. Often, the couple will provide beer only and guests pay for their own wine and mixed drinks. Occassionally- but very seldom- the couple will also pay for champagne for the toasts but even that has become less common over the past 5-10 years as most people don't like champagne and/or don't like to mix alcohol. It's the good German practicality...

Talk to your venue about ways to reduce the amount of drinks served, too. We are having an open bar with a few key elements that limit how much people can drink. We'll have a cocktail hour where anything goes, followed by wine with dinner (cheaper than mixed drinks), followed by dessert and after dinner liquors (hard to pound limoncello and Bailey's), then back to whatever people would like. After 1-2 cocktails, 1-2 glasses of wine and 1 liquor, I expect most people will be done.

I would not worry about guests feeling you've been cheap if you choose to have a cash bar- some will and there's nothing you can do to change that. Most guests have no idea what a wedding costs and will eat their words the next time they have to pay towards one!
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Old 11-10-2007, 10:12 AM   #9
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Shannon- My fiance asked for a good watch as his "engagement ring." Would Shelley be interested in something like that? I also have a friend who proudly wears her engagement necklace.
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Old 11-10-2007, 12:02 PM   #10
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We both already have rings because we got engaged in May 2005 and then became domestic partners 4 months later. I would still like to do a ring exchange so maybe we will just exchange the rings we already have. I want to wear a diamond wedding band with my e ring but Shelley just wants to wear her e ring. I'll try to post a picture of our rings. Mine is the 3 stone sapphire/diamond ring. Shelley's is the criss cross band with a sapphire in the center.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Our wedding rings, Shelley's on top, Shannon.jpg (22.7 KB, 18 views)
File Type: gif th_10276285.gif (9.3 KB, 14 views)
File Type: jpg th_ring.jpg (2.6 KB, 15 views)
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Old 11-10-2007, 04:48 PM   #11
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Those rings are awesome!

I have the super-traditional diamond solitaire but, since my fiance knows me, the setting and ring are about as ballistic as fine jewelry can get. I am also looking at a diamond wedding band and, based on the website picture, I really like a bar set band from Precision Set (model 6319). How far I've come from just wanting a plain gold band...

I just have to share... even though we got engaged over New Years', we are having an engagement cocktail party (we had to wrangle a few family members from overseas) in a few weeks... note I said "cocktail party." My mother called to say my aunt and uncle will be coming... with their two small children.

All of our friends with children are a) able to comprehend without prompting that cocktail parties are not for children and b) have stated they are looking forward to an evening without them. I feel bad for these friends because, at the end of the party, I will return to my relatively peacefull child-free existence. They will go home and pay the sitters they so wisely hired, robbed of an evening of peaceful adult conversation.

This is just a rant with the hope that someone else is swallowing their opinion and putting up with this or something similar... misery loves company

Telling my aunt and uncle anything is useless- they love their children and feel compelled to inflict them (they are spoiled brats) on everyone until we all feel the same way. I mentioned that children will not be invited to the wedding because all of our friends have young children and would, frankly, outnumber the adults. My aunt had a melt-down about how SURELY her children would be included. My mother issued the edict that her children be included to maintain the peace... need I mention that, in addition to interrupting and demanding the center of attention, it will also cost $50/kid to feed them and God only knows what to pay a sitter because my aunt and uncle adopt the obnoxious "it takes a village (of everyone but us)" principal when it comes to watching their children at family events?
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Old 11-10-2007, 09:38 PM   #12
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Hello All,
I just celebrated my 6th anniversary, so I'm not exactly a newlywed anymore, but I know what worked, and what didn't, when we tied the knot.
The Best Thing we did for our wedding: We had a Quaker Wedding Certificate. I'm not a Quaker, but I used their custom: Quakers don't have ministers. So, when they marry, everyone who witnesses the union signs a paper to legalize the marriage. I printed out our vows onto a large piece of colored poster paper, my Mom painted a folksy-type flower wreath around it, and everybody at the wedding (all 30 of them) signed the certificate. I've had it matted and framed, and I love it so much more than my bridal portrait. I like knowing that everyone there that day touched that same piece of paper. It's a piece of history; 2 people who signed have passed away now, and two people who signed have married now. The little fellow who left a child's scratchy signature is 13 years old now.

I even got our vows from a Quaker marriage-certificate website. I think it might have been intended for a same-sex couple, but it worked well for us.

Best Wishes, and Good Luck,
Lesley
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Old 11-11-2007, 09:09 AM   #13
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Lesley, that's such a neat idea! I have a guest list that has now reached obnoxious proportions but that sounds like a fun way to cull out our nearest and dearest and give them a special role in the day. Thanks so much for the suggestion!
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Old 11-11-2007, 11:46 AM   #14
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Lesley,

That is a neat idea! I've been thinking about having our guests sign a picture mat and then using that in the framing of one of our wedding pictures.


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Old 11-11-2007, 02:42 PM   #15
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Another cool idea... we both love history so we bought a picture book of old photos to use in place of the traditional guest book. I got the idea from a bride who bought a book of pictures of famous brides and used it as her guest book. This way, it can be on my coffee table forever.
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