[NoVaVTFan]

Hi everyone. I must say that I am getting completely stalled and frustrated on my wedding planning. We decided on an October 12, 2008 date, and I thought we had the site all picked out, but that has gone astray. We were going to sign a reservation agreement with a winery and get on with the planning, but that has not yet happened. When I got the wedding agreement and read through it, I felt a little uneasy about some parts, so I called the winery several times to ask questions - every time I spoke with someone they gave me the answers I wanted to hear and made me feel a little bit better BUT at the same time, I was still uneasy about some things like their catering and florist choices - basically, when you sign a contract with them, you have to use their caterers, florists, etc, which I liked at first because I thought hey, I can get everything done through one company, but their contract was a little sketchy with no prices, and their website completely contradicted their agreement, even though the people I spoke to told me the complete opposite. I think the last straw for me was that I sent the contact to my father to look over, and he didn't like how vague it was, plus there were typos in the agreement and he didn't think that was very professional. I take my father's opinion very highly, and since he is paying for this wedding, I am holding his opinion even higher. Basically, my fiance and I didn't really look around for wedding sites because he knew of this winery from before we got engaged, and when we went I liked it enough to settle on it. But we decided last night that we are going to hold off on this winery for awhile and really look around because I am just feeling too uneasy about it. We found some places online that I am going to try and get info on today or tomorrow. I really was anxious to get a place reserved to make sure I get the October 12 date, but I would rather wait and really look then sign a contract with some place that I don't feel great about.

Other than that, I haven't started any other planning yet. I have been thinking about dresses but haven't tried anything on yet. This time of year is really busy so I'm going to start concentrating on planning once the new year rolls around.

Hope everyone has a great Monday!

[Lafayette]

I think you made a wise choice! We thought about having our reception at a brewery (the Milwaukee equivalent to a winery) but the site coordinator was a dingbat and the contract was simply bizarre. We found a great place for a great price and I've never looked back. I'm sure you will, too!

I applaud your choice to wait until after the new year... just a warning/tip from someone who got engaged last January... lots of couples get engaged over Christmas and start planning after the first of the year. You may want to have a few ideas in mind. All of the places I was considering (except the brewery) were willing to "hold" the date without any deposit and call me first if anyone else expressed interest in the date.

[Lafayette]

Happy Holidays, brides to be!

Cheers to holidays divided between the two families for the rest of our lives

[BfL_Cat]

Hey gals -I lost you for a while - I didn't realize Shannon had started a new thread!

I wanted to share that my Shutterfly wedding photo book was a big hit as a gift for Mom, sister, brother and DH's brother - they all loved having a memento of the wedding in book form, as opposed to a photo album. I did the 8x8" book with photos on front and back cover. 20 pages for $30 - quite a deal if you ask me. They came out great! I highly recommend this for anyone who will have access to the digital files from their photos.

People are still complementing me on the wedding, which is a great feeling! I spent a lot of time paying attention to all of the small details and it's nice to know that it did not go unnoticed.
Cindy

[atxgirl]

I wanted to stop in...I went a way for a little while. SO's mom took a turn for the worse (her cancer just KEEPS spreading). We are getting married January 12th now. We figured that out December 8th. After we got the venue we found out that the spring bridal expo here in Austin is that weekend! After having a minor meltdown I was able to find vendors in a neighboring small town. It should turn out pretty well considering how quickly we have had to move. My dress is beautiful, its maybe not what I would have chosen if I had months to get something shipped but its beautiful non the less.
The worst thing so far was that our invitation lady yelled at me and made me cry! It was so unexpected that I didn't even know what to say or do...I left a message asking for them to order 150 invites instead of 125 and the next morning (a Tuesday) she called to check in and I asked her if she added the invited to the order and she just went OFF about how they are closed on Monday blah blah...and I "knew that" and it said it on their web site...and was just YELLING in the phone to where SO across the room could hear what she was saying. I guess she was on the defensive because she had not order our invitations yet and was being paid a rush fee to do so. Anyways, we ditched that company and lost $350 doing so but I don't even care at this point. I am so stressed out trying to plan a wedding in just over a month from start to finish with the holidays in the middle that I will deal with her after I survive our wedding!
Wow. ok, so anywho, I don't recommend trying to do what we are but we just couldn't keep planning for May knowing his mom might not be with us still.

I hope everyone else's planning is going much more smoothly!

[shananigans]

atxgirl - OMG! I can't imagine how stressful that all must be. But I'm sure your wedding will be all the more meaningful knowing that your SO's mom will be able to participate in your happy day.

We had our Auf Ruf (follow the link if you have no idea what an Auf Ruf is, I sure didn't!) on Saturday down in FL. We aren't religious types, but his paternal grandfather was one of the founders of their Temple and it's been an important place for his family for three generations, so we went ahead with it since it means so much to them. Also, DF's Nanny is not well and won't be able to travel to the wedding so it was really nice to have her there for that.

Here's a couple of pix from our engagement session, they're just scans of the prints we got (our photographer doesn't give us access to the digital files ) but I thought they came out pretty well





We are going to start our hunt for an officiator in earnest in the new year, the clock is ticking! Also, we're on the hunt for a new DJ. There's a wedding expo in town in a couple weeks, might hit that up in our search.

Cindy - That's so great that people are still complementing your wedding! It's always nice to get recognition for a job well done.

[NoVaVTFan]

Hi everyone! Long time! So, I have to say that I am getting so much more excited about getting married now! It's been awhile since I've updated - the last time I was really frustrated because we were having trouble picking our wedding site. A lot has happened since then!

We picked our wedding site before Christmas - we picked a historic property in Northern Virginia - it is an old mill that was built in the 1800s. It of course isn't in use anymore as a mill but is used a lot for meetings and weddings. It's a stone building next to a nice stream with lots of land with trees and grass. It should be beautiful for an outside fall wedding in October. It is just right for our number of people, and it's only 15 minutes from our house which is great. I was so excited to sign the reservation agreement before Christmas to get at least one thing done.

I've also possibly picked out a photographer and cake maker. My cousin's sister in law is a professional photographer who works very very close to the wedding site, and who will be giving us a generous discount on photos. My mother also has a close friend who lives about 15 minutes from us who makes cakes. Things are slowly coming together.

And last, but not least . . . I BOUGHT MY WEDDING DRESS TODAY! I have been looking a lot online and have visited a couple of local stores but didn't try anything on. I made an appointment at a local bridal store today and went and tried some dresses on. I had absolutely no intentions of buying anything because it is still 10 months until the wedding and people told me shop around and I probably didn't need to buy anything until 4-5 months before the wedding, but I wanted to try some dresses on to get a feel for what I liked. I went in with some pictures of dresses from designers the store carried and talked to a consultant there for about 5 minutes to let her know what I liked and disliked, then we started pulling dresses to put on. I tried one dress on and LOVED IT! It was actually a little different from what I expected to like because it had some more beading on it and had a longer train than I thought I would like, but when I tried it on and got in front of the big mirror I LOVED IT! It has ribbon detail on it and I picked a deep red color for my dress, almost like wine red. I posted a couple of pictures of the dress at the end of the post. It was a little more than I planned to spend on my dress, but I couldn't resist I loved it so much. I tried on about 5 or 6 dresses but kept coming back to that dress. I am so excited!!!

[junebug41]

Shananigans- Great pics! And the colors make it pop!

NoVa- That dress is just darling. I love those capped sleeves. So girly and timeless. Are you having that chocolate brown sash or another color? It's very dramatic (I like it!).

So, things are moving in the sense that they aren't. I'm kind of in that holding pattern. Haven't heard from the florist since our initial meeting (was planning on getting a quote early/mid this month), so I will have to touch base with them. We did actually figure out where the money is coming from, so that's a relief, to say the least! We also decided on a honeymoon. We are going to take it over Christmas/New Year's and we are heading to Australia/New Zealand/ Fiji! The plan is to spend most of it in Fiji (my dream vacation) and spend New Year's in Sydney or Auckland.

Also, I think we lost the best man. His wife is extremely emotionally unstable and with our last visit with them she REALLY pulled out the fangs (on me). The only thing we have figured is that she was the last one of "the group" to have a wedding and is struggling with that and some post partum issues as well, not to mention she's incredibly immature (almost childlike) and has terrible problems with women. So we're pretty sure she pulled him from the wedding (he is terrified of her and won't stand up- for anything). It's all really messy and awful. Also, one of my MOH's won't be there (I have two- they're sisters) due to the fact that she's in the Navy and will be somewhere in the Persian Gulf on a carrier. She feels awful, but there's nothing you can do so no use in making a fuss. I guess that's why I have two!

Also, I took my mom when she was here over Christmas to see my dress and she created nothing short of a scene. I know moms are supposed to be emotional over stuff, but she went a little overboard. She also decided that she would be more comfortable wearing a bridemaid's dress instead of a more matronly mother-of-the-bride dress. My mom, always a tart. Baby Boomers. Oy.

Are any of you ladies doing a "bikini boot camp" type thing? I know it's been mentioned before, but there's a club near my house that's offering one and I think I wanna do it. The wedding isn't until late summer, but it can't hurt. I need all the help I can get!

[Lafayette]

Atx- I know this is a stressful time and my heart goes out to you. Some compromises are just worth it, aren't they?

Shan- awesome pics!

Jen- Bikini Boot camp scares me. I'm going for a Brazillian wax instead

NoVa- great dress!

BfL- I've been wondering about the albums- great to hear a positive review!

Our wedding is March 29, 2008, so the insanity is only a few short months away... it's going very well, though. We got our first wedding gifts last week- holy cow! Where I am going to put all this stuff?

I also tried on the Ann Taylor Elizabeth dress over the holidays. I fit into a size 8 (with a little alteration needed to fit the DD's) and, even though I was hoping to fit a size 6, it's time to bite the bullet! The dress looks awesome and I highly recommend it for anyone needing a dress at the last minute. It looks really plain until you tie the sash and then whoa, baby!

I also did my first trial run of my hairstyle. Just a simple chignon that is perfect. I may or may not wear a veil. Still deciding if that violates my pretty, pretty princess rule

I'm starting to get very excited about our honeymoon in Paris for the first two weeks in April. We've been talking about hopping over to Amsterdam or London for a few days, too. Put me on the plane already!

The next few weeks will be a flurry of marriage prep with the Church, invitations, showers, bridal teas... oh yeah, and another bachelor party (that lucky dog). Wish me luck!

[Lafayette]

Here's the dress!

http://www.anntaylor.com/catalog/out...owAll=Y#ATLtop

[NoVaVTFan]

Beautiful dress Lafayette!

Ok, so can anyone recommend a good general book on how to plan a wedding? I'm looking for something that will help me figure out the little things that are normally done for weddings (like favors, traditions, etc.) I am basically planning my wedding by myself (Mom doesn't really want to help in any way) and I have never really thought about it in my life so now that I have to actually plan it, I'm a little lost. So far I have: a date, ceremony/reception site booked, dress bought, photographer, and possibly a cake maker. My 3 big categories that are left are florist, caterer, and event rental. I know there's a bunch of other little things other than those 3 categories, but those are the 3 I'm thinking about at the moment. I know there has to be books out there on planning a wedding, so if any of you have read any, I would love suggestions. Someone at work suggested I hire a wedding planner, but I REFUSE to do that. It is definitely good for some people, but it is not for me because 1) I don't want to pay someone to plan my wedding for me, and 2)it's just not me. So, any suggestions from you lovely ladies would be much appreciated.

Thanks!

[junebug41]

Lafyette- Classic and beautiful come to mind in describing that dress. at brazillian wax... There are very few moments in my life where I have the nerve to get one.... Fiji here I come...

NoVa- You sound A LOT like me. I was actually stricken with a profound sense of loneliness. My family is untraditional and I just kind of felt like a fraud until I got a grip (not that that's you, but I relate to the "feeling kinda lost" part). I bought magezines like it was my job. the ones I've been impressed with are InStyle Weddings and Martha Stewart because they aren't just dress advertisements like Brides, etc... Martha Stewart (love her or hate her) addresses styles and colors and decor specifically. As far as vendor advice- theknot.com has message boards that are broken down into cities/states and there are TONS of referrals from real brides in the area you are getting married, which I thought was cool. Also, you said that you have your site picked out. They will be providing a day-of coordinator, no? Since i'm getting married in my hometown- a place I haven't lived in almost 8 years- I felt a little out of touch and she was more than happy to throw vendor names at me at different price levels, including officients, florists, photographers, etc... I haven't used all she has recommended, but it was a good place to start.

Also, I've mentioned this before, but I don't have any wedding planning guide books, per say, but The Conscious Bride by Sheryl Paul was really helpful in my "getting a grip" on things.

Kinda funny though, a friend of mine said that she has all this extra stuff she didn't use for her wedding like cake cutters, toasting glasses... those things hadn't even crossed my mind! I have a lot to learn, it seems.

[BfL_Cat]

NoVa - I vote for checking out theknot.com as well - there are tons of ideas from the girls on the message boards. I found the monthly one the most help - for my 9/29 wedding, I checked out the Sept. 2007 board. The gals are always talking about what needs to be done next, so it keeps you right on schedule.

Not sure if a book is going to tell you about the details you are lacking. I bought a great wedding planning binder from Wal-Mart (bridal aisle) which helped me to think of some details I hadn't thought of.

Here's some suggestions from me:

First, have you chosen a color scheme/theme? That will be key in coming up with the rest. Centerpieces are a big $$ item, yet don't have to be flowers - there are tons of ideas on the knot for less costly alternatives to flowers on the tables. Big jars filled with fruit, candles, cakes or pies, .... Your colors/time of year will also be key in determining you flower options for bouquets.

Once you know what colors/theme you are doing (you don't have to have a theme by the way - it can just make decorating easier if you are doing something seasonal), then here's what you'll need to think about (some are optional):

Cake design
Cake topper
Table centerpieces/decor
Cake table decor
Favors (suggestion - edible is best; many gals are now doing charitable donations instead of a favor)
Paper stuff - invitations and all, place cards, programs, menus,...
Reception details - bathroom baskets, photo CDs or upload cards, Wish jar and/or guest book, gift table card box.
Attendant gifts
Out of towner welcome bags
Ring pillows
toasting glasses
Cake knife/server set
Music - for both the ceremony and reception

That's all I can think of off the top of my head - funny how it was all so encompassing at the time, and now I have already forgotten some things!
Cindy

[Lafayette]

NoVa- my mom was really difficult from the outset and I found a way to make planning my wedding fun by coming to 3fc and engaging my friends at home, too. I tried on my wedding dress with my fiance and two friends and wouldn't have traded the awkward laughs for the world!

I haven't found a book I would recommend but any major bookstore will have tons. I honestly took notes from friends weddings and made my plans by envisioning the day with my fiance.

Good luck! It sounds like you're making good progress, even without a roadmap!

[Lafayette]

I've found that a traditional wedding, hokey as it may sound, is the easiest way to go.  Using that as our general plan and deviating where we prefered something else has served us well.

We picked our color based on the time of year and my mother's bridesmaids dresses- green for luck, Irish and March.
The maid of honor and best man will have our rings on their hands- no ringbearer to start crying or pillow to lose.
We bought toasting flutes at the hotel where we got engaged.  Our guest book will be a book of old pictures of Milwaukee (we're history buffs).  Our invitations, programs, menu cards and placecards will be matching.  We are using a wedding photo of us to create thank you cards through someplace like Shutterbug.
We engaged a florist for bouquets, centerpieces, etc.  I let her tell me what I needed and worked from her list to decide what I actually wanted.  FTD is a God send... I found arrangements in my price range for the centerpieces and worked a deal from there.  I discovered making my own meant either silk flowers or a very hectic day- money well spent.  To keep in the budget, I skipped the votive candles and little gifts for each guest.
We found a three-piece ensemble that was willing to be flexible for the reception music.  Also much cheaper than a DJ.
We hired a photographer who cracks both of us up.  Not being big on photos, we have her sending us the "standard" shots, which we will edit to get more candid photos of the evening.
We skipped the cake (bakers around here become evil at the mention of the word "wedding") in favor of an awesome dessert from the reception hall.  Cheaper and less to go wrong.
We skipped limos in favor of everyone having their own car at the end of the evening.  We hired valets at the recption site instead.  They will help ensure that drunks don't get their keys, too.

Martha Stewart does have her act together, much as I hate to admit it!