Hot Mama - I know that looking nicer around the house would be better.. ...I never would have let him see me look like this before we were married. I have tried buying new clothes in the past, and yes they do make me feel better...but not for long. I think I need to see a significant weight loss before I can feel better about myself. I will try to take my anger on this out in my exercise routine...good tip!
2Fat - I want to lose the weight for myself. Then for the rest of my family. I want to do this because I'm not "used" to being fat. For 36 years or more I was very skinny. The pregnancies did this to my body and then the early menapause and then the bad thyroid. EXCUSES, I know. But each with it's own struggle, let alone 3x over. It is just so much harder for me than the others. I want to do this for myself - so that I am happier. If I'm happier than my family will be. Of course I want to do this for my love life/marriage.
Yes parts of me will be angry and hurt at my husband for a LONG time for not accepting the fat me, then I flip flop and say he makes some good points. I should want to look good for him.
A lady just stopped by my house a minute ago to drop her child off for a playdate. She saw my wedding picture -- and looked closely - and was confused, and she said "is that, is that...", and she didn't finish her sentence, so I said "Yes that is my wedding picture". And she said "WOW !".
Because I was so skinny. None of my friends here knew the skinny the me.
I want to drop the weight I guess so I can say "See, there is a skinny girl inside".
Of course I want to do it for my health. A local high school coach just dropped dead at age 42. Leaving behind 3 kids. I can't imagine my health ruining my life.
I remember when I was 5 and being embarassed at how "fat" my mom was! I am not kidding! When she would pick me up from school and come into my class -- I would turn red --- all the other moms were thinner. Looking back at pictures, my mom was probably a size 12 !!! And she had 4 kids in 6 years. I don't want my kids to be ashamed of me.
The other day our 3 yr old asked me what "ugly" meant. We were talking about the "u" sound....and I said like "umbrella, and Ugly".... so I told him it meant "not pretty". And he said "your not pretty mom?....implying the use of the "ugly" word toward me. BROKE MY HEART. Then he went on to say "Miss Kim is pretty". Our neighbor. Size 2, short blonde hair, very trendy, very expensive clothes.
I was bummed out the rest of the day.
As for my current eating plan -- don't really have one, other than using FitDay to count calories. I am so depressed I can't even tell you.
Chasing a 3 yr old and a 5 yr old around and driving to and from preschool and kindergarten and volunteering here and there and doctor appts, our days are SO busy...and I just have been horrible and taking the time to fix proper meals. Many days I skip - and I know that is actually doing more harm than good.
I told my husband yesterday what the scale said and he said so long as it never goes UP again, he'll be satisfied with my weight loss journey.
the success stories here are amazing. I want to be a success story.
Thanks everyone for letting me vent!
Last edited by 2Bthinagain; 11-07-2007 at 10:04 AM.
2B I know you can do it. You can totally hear you are so there. You just need some thing to change to make it easier or some changes that are easy to make, that don't require too much thought energy. Taking care of kids is a huge energy taker and can inadverdantly way lay the best of intentions. That's why you need like an automatic, thought to a minimum, diet/fitness routine.
And feeling depressed, that's the worst zapper there is, it dulls us into complacency. I know it!! That's why I'm losing this weight AGAIN. About the time I reached goal weight (I was 177, sz. 10, not thin, but slim in a curvey way) my littlest got to the point where I couldn't leave him with anyone who wasn't family to go exercise. He wouldn't stay in the stroller, walked sideways and up driveways -- not my idea of exercise. I felt trapped in my own existence and lack of freedom, the pregnancy weight plus more just piled on until I barely recognized myself. Seeing pictures I was incredulous at my new, much fatter self. I literally didn't stop gaining until I ACTIVELY began trying to lose weight (actually, I even gained a couple more temporarily from sore muscles).
I don't know what changes you need that will work into your life, but if it's to difficult to make those changes on your own, then DH needs to step up to the plate and maybe either give you some regular free time to clear your head and exercise or allocate funds for a supervised fitness plan. Something.There are so many more factors to gaining and losing weight than just food itself.
Earlier when I mentioned easy changes, for example, making protein smoothies for yourself and the kiddos as a healthful meal/snack instead of being hungry, making their food, which isn't your food, and then eating their snacks anyway cuz it's ready first and your starving. Now I don't know if you even do this, but I did and still do occasionally, so I'm always looking for new healthful alternatives to entice myself with. If the kids will eat it too that's a big bonus. Over here smoothies fit the bill except that now I'm kinda sick of them unless they come from Jamba Juice, lol, but that would be too expensive of a regular habit for me so I need to come up with something else.
Anyway, maybe we can all brainstorm together for easy, healthy eats and/or exercises. Whenever we think of them we oughta just post them.
Good morning girls! Thank you for the warm welcome.
I have a confession to make.. I try really hard not to get on the scale except on Friday, which is weigh in day for my work Christmas contest.. but this mornign I was here before anyone else.. the scale read #185 even!!! that's #3.5 down from last Friday!!! I'm so excited!
I'm not counting it as final weight for the week - I'll update everyone on Friday.
2B You're right, everyone has their reasons and excuses! I tend to blame mine on surgery and hormonal birth control and depression. I know these were all factors in me ballooning to over 200 lbs in the course of a year and a half, but in the end, I really made the choices. I remember at one point I was so depressed, I was stopping by McDonald's on the way to work every morning and getting two sausage egg mcmuffins and two hash browns. Then I would secretly eat them before anyone else got to work. And the wedding pictures! Well, I was 200 lbs when I got married last year, but weighed 130 when DH and I met 4 years ago. I am terribly embarrassed and have lost touch with a lot of college friends because of my size.
I understand about it being a two-way street. It's hard to feel motivated when your biggest support in life - your spouse - isn't really motivating you. At the same time, yeah, he has a point. I know my DH would prefer it if I were 70 lbs. less. If my DH gained 70 lbs, I'd probably wonder what the heck was going on with the lean, muscular man I married.
So, you need an eating plan it sounds like. It sounds you would really benefit from planning? I am like that. I do not do well if I'm flying by the seat of my pants. I often skipped meals before, too... usually breakfast. It's not easy to plan, and it takes time when you already have a full schedule. If I were you (and my advice should be taken with a grain of salt because I don't have any kids, so I can really only guess at what this hectic life is like!), I'd carve out some time while both kids are away at school and cook.... make breakfasts, lunches and get stuff ready for dinner. Stock up on healthy snacks.... I love low fat string cheese, nuts, and cut up veggies with salad dressing. They make single servings of low fat cottage cheese. Even wheat crackers with laughing cow cheese or celery with reduced fat peanut butter is good stuff. One night a week, I will take out a whole package of turkey bacon and cook it all up. Then I divide it into individual sandwich bags and can stick one in my lunch for a snack or breakfast the next morning.
I really don't like breakfast foods so I started eating other foods for breakfast. They make turkey ham so I'll cut off a few slices, fry it up in a pan and just have that along with half an apple.
Just some examples.... planning is hard but once you get the hang of it, it will become second nature.
As for motivation, set your eyes on some sexy lingerie or a romantic weekend getaway. If you lose X number of pounds, reward yourself. It's hard work to lose weight, especially after you've had two kids, early menopause and a thyroid problem. Life is working against you, so instead of fighting it, find a way to work with it.
Enygirl - sorry I'm so self-absorbed I haven't said "welcome" to you yet, so "welcome". Hotmama - DH was paying for a gym membership since January, but we JUST dropped it because since school started I couldn't find a way to fit it into my schedule. Early in the AM before he would leave for work was TOO early for me, I tried going at 5am and it was hard,...then later at night I was too tired.
We have a weight bench in the basement with tons of weights, and he moved our recumbant bike upstairs to our family room...thinking when our youngest naps I could ride the bike...so he is making an attempt.
I guess I can not overcome the "laziness". I'm too tired to get moving, you'd think our recent discussions about divorce would be the kick in the pants I need. I like the smoothie idea, and have bought some pre-made...never made them at home before because I'm so picky. I limit myself to banana or pineapple type flavors. Maybe some OJ - but I'm not a big strawberry person.
I would love to see others post those types of quick healthy snacks. I will say I have changed over to oatmeal for breakfast. Which is 160 calories. Vs. the 2 bowls of cereal with 2% milk I was having. Is that a start? 2Fat - thanks for the hugs. I need them!!!!
Sounds like you gained as much as I did! I actually gained more when I think that I weighed about 133 when we met. And like you I have lost touch with many friends. When I go back "home" to visit family I try to avoid the grocery store or any resteraunts so as not to bump into an old classmate. Once I was there shopping, and I rubbed my belly the whole time so people would think I was pregnant!
Thanks for your advice. Unfortunatley I don't ever have both kids away at school at the sametime. Our oldest is in kindergarten each afternoon, and our youngest is home with me. Our youngest goes to preschool 2 mornings a week, and the oldest is home with me. I am going to write down your list of snacks and take it to the grocery store with me. But I still need to stop eating/snacking just for the sake of it. I need to tell myself that food is fuel. I saw a program yesterday where this chick was anorexic and she said she punished herself with no food on days where she thought she was a bad person.?? WTH? As for planning some sexy outfits or a romantic getaway, LOL -- I'd have to go alone!!! I don't think DH wants to touch me until I drop at least 50 pounds. He said he'd consider it if I break 200...but I know he won't. I love what you said about Life is working against me, and to work with it. Great quote! And I will take those words to heart.
Thanks so much girls!!! One of these days I'll post a before pic!
That's right, 2B, and we will be here, kicking your butt (and our butts, too) all along the way! For me, I really need to start exercising again. I can't lose weight without it. My eating is not too bad, but I know if I were exercising consistently, having a bad day or bad weekend eating-wise wouldn't do as much damage as it normally does. It's really time for me to get back on the saddle. I wish we could afford a personal trainer like hotmama has... I think having that accountability would really cause me to 1) stop and think about what I put in my mouth and 2) not skip out on the gym like I normally do. Right now I only work out like one day a week. It's not enough.
Life will ALWAYS work against us.... for me it seems like things always get in the way. For instance, this week I was planning on going to the gym every day over my lunch hour. Well, Monday I had the day off from work since my parents were in town, Tuesday I had a meeting over my lunch hour at work, Wednesday I had lunch with a friend, and yesterday I had to work through lunch since I had to leave early to go to the dentist. I got to work out Wednesday after work, but so far, that's been it! When I was successfully losing weight earlier this year, it was because I was exercising 4-5 days a week. It sucks. I really hate exercise, but I have to do it. Obviously I'm not going to get there by just eating healthy...wouldn't that be nice, though?
Yes I would love it if I could just eat healthy and not do the workouts. However I haven't done much working out in a while.
Thanks everyone for pulling me up by the boot straps and getting me back on the horse.
I most likely weigh the same today as when our little club started back in the summer. I know some of you have probably lost over 20 pounds by now. Well - it's a new day right?
I need to check in HERE every single day. Without this site I feel lost. I feel like I am the only one fighting this battle. I saw Marie Osmond on TV last week (she is from my generation and I grew up watching her TV show)..anyway, she is older than me...she is 48 and single/divorcecd (Granted I'm married), anyway, with lifes troubles she said she could "either crawl in a hole, or climb a mountain" and she decided to climb a mountain.
She looks great on Dancing with the Stars.
I was traveling the last 3 days and have been exhausted today. Wonder if I can drop 12 pounds before Christmas Day? That will be my SHORT TERM GOAL.
I am accountable to YOU GUYS.
Last edited by 2Bthinagain; 11-12-2007 at 05:59 PM.
2B - I'm the exact opposite - I would work out ALL THE TIMe if only I cold eat everything I want! I'm really craving McD's fries today! But I bnrought turkey and cheese and an apple instead. *sigh*
Enygirl - congrats on your weight loss already!
Perhaps I would work out if I knew I could eat what I wanted.
I just feel so gross and have such low energy. When I had been thin I hit the gym 5 days a week and worked out ALL the time.
Now , knowing I'm the biggest mom in there, and knowing I can't do it for very long ...I just rather not go. Plus I have little kids -- and they can't stay too long in the child watch room.
I don't know how people wake up at the crack of dawn to get their workouts in. I tried that and it did not work.
Goodluck on your program, your lunch actually sounded great!
It was good - but it didn't taste as good as I imagine the fries do I'm sticking to my guns though! Is there anyway that you can work out at home? That's what I do. alot of times the video stores will have tapes you can rent - or in my case my digital cable has videos that I can get for free anytime. I completely understand the not working out in the morning, or trying to get children to cooperate... that's why I do it at home. Maybe when I'm only 30 pounds away from my goal I'll have more guts to go into the gym and put my lifetime membership to use!
Hellooooo ladies! How is the week going so far? I have been super busy...seems like we have so much going on this time of year! I am still weighing in at 198...not gaining but not losing, either. I should just be happy I'm not gaining, haha.
So, let's hear it...what are you plans for surviving thanksgiving? We are spending Thanksgiving with my in-laws this year. I think this will help because, I don't know about you ladies, but I always get embarrassed eating in front of other people (except for DH). I always wonder if they are thinking "the fat girl shouldn't be having that piece of pie!" LOL. Yeah, working on the self-esteem bit..... anyway, not being in my own home makes me less comfortable when it comes to eating, which will probably keep me from over stuffing myself. At least I'm hoping so.
I want to write off the month of December. We have two company Christmas parties, our wedding anniversary, Christmas, DH's birthday, ugh... the list goes on. I WILL survive!
I used to be so gung-ho about exercising. And surprise, surprise, it was so much easier to lose weight when I was exercising. I just can't get into it now, though. I don't know why. Need to work on that....
2Fat - I only lost one pound since last week - granted I am not exercising and the past weekend I was out of town.
Know what you mean about other people thinking "the fat girl should not be eating". I'll be at my parents - so I will feel comfortable. I don't think I'll eat tons though. I usually love the hot rolls with tons of butter.
Maybe if I eat standing up running laps around the dinner table? LOL
I just want to reach ONEDERLAND like you have.
I want to get at least below 210 before Christmas- that is my short term goal.
okay , as I type this, -- my husband is chewing gum -- upstairs...while reading books with the kids ---- OMG the CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP - it's driving me nuts -- I can't even hear myself think! Useless info for everyone I know, just felt like sharing! LOL
You can do it, 2B!!! Way to go on losing one pound!!!!!! That's fantastic! ONEderland is totally attainable! I haven't exercised at all this week. I need to sneak in at least one day, even if I loathe it.
There's nothing about Thanksgiving food that I don't like...it's so dangerous! Probably another good reason that we're having it at my in-laws since I am prone to snacking ALL morning and I won't feel comfortable enough to do so.
So, talk about insecurities.... I applied for a job and last night I laid awake worrying that I wouldn't have any interview clothes to fit me (I was about 10-15 lbs lighter when I last interviewed for a job) and worrying that being fat would count against me or make people think less of me. I know I'm jumping the gun, but hey, we've all thought it.
Can I join you? I have been around this place for FOREVER. If I wouldn't of had my kids all 6 years apart I might be there by now. lol
It may take me a few weeks of getting everyone's story straight, but I will try. I have been up and down the past year. I was 201 on the 8th, I want to be below the 130 mark eventually, even if it is just 129. I am not getting back on the scale til Monday as it is "that time" for me. No reason depressing myself. I am doing WW on my own. Can't afford to return to meetings right now.
My basics, I am 5'4 ish, maybe closer to 5'5" not sure anymore. I have 4 sons ranging btwn almost 18 and 1. Married to a man 10 years younger. {the youngest 2 are his lol } I have been living in Florida the last 9 months. NV before that. Oh, I am 38.
Best diet food this week? Probably 1 point WW soups. It helps take the edge off hunger esp btwn meals or as an appetizer. The worst...I am so trying to get used to whole grain stuff again. I miss super soft white bread. lol
Excersice....I love getting outside just to get away. I hate it when I have to plan it and get it in during a certain time as I have no other time to swing it.
Thank you for the warm welcome.
You're right, everyone has their reasons and excuses! I tend to blame mine on surgery and hormonal birth control and depression. I know these were all factors in me ballooning to over 200 lbs in the course of a year and a half, but in the end, I really made the choices. I remember at one point I was so depressed, I was stopping by McDonald's on the way to work every morning and getting two sausage egg mcmuffins and two hash browns. Then I would secretly eat them before anyone else got to work. And the wedding pictures! Well, I was 200 lbs when I got married last year, but weighed 130 when DH and I met 4 years ago. I am terribly embarrassed and have lost touch with a lot of college friends because of my size. 
For me, I really need to start exercising again. I can't lose weight without it. My eating is not too bad, but I know if I were exercising consistently, having a bad day or bad weekend eating-wise wouldn't do as much damage as it normally does. It's really time for me to get back on the saddle. I wish we could afford a personal trainer like hotmama has... I think having that accountability would really cause me to 1) stop and think about what I put in my mouth and 2) not skip out on the gym like I normally do. Right now I only work out like one day a week. It's not enough.
But I bnrought turkey and cheese and an apple instead. *sigh*
Way to go on losing one pound!!!!!! That's fantastic! ONEderland is totally attainable! I haven't exercised at all this week. I need to sneak in at least one day, even if I loathe it.
