Afternoon ladies! Well I just wanted to thank everyone for all the support and advice! You all are wonderful! I was hoping to have time to catch up on this thread today and respond to everyone but nope.
The weekend went pretty well.I actually hit 204 saturday a.m.! That was 3 pounds last week!! Yeah!!! We did go out for prime rib and all thr trimmings sat but was really good for breakfast and lunch and even fought and resisted the HUGE temptation of buttery popcorn at the movies! I promised myself I could have one at home on sunday to break up the extra cals from dinner plus to make it with REAL butter not whatever crap they do etc. We did split a mocha latte and a piece of pie too! No walking last weekend and I was too scared to weigh in monday a.m. Did really great yesterday, even made chili beans! Think I wound up at 1850 cals or so which I do want to keep it to roughly 1700 cals BUT I walked for 3 hours yesterday!!!!!!! I will give ya all the scoop later but suffice it to say for now, homeschool meeting started at being on the bus by 7:30 a.m. followed by a trip to the store and back home at 10:30 only to jump on another bus at 12:00, went to see Joey at 1:00 and we spent his lunch hour at the court house trying to figure out exactly WHAT to file to move out of state! Uggghhh As usual NO ONE knows anything and NO ONE wants to be helpful!! Over a year ago(divorce was July 2005, but cause he wanted to drag child custody out, that didn't get settled til december 2005!!!) anyhow I have the divorce paperwork but a year ago I had gone to ask for a copy of kid agreement stuff but all they do is hand you a file and say if you want something copied, paperclip it etc. There is NOTHING in that file that is an order or actual documentation etc!!!
I have tried to call legal aid many times to no avail and they are only up here twice a month! Guess which day that was? Yep yesterday! So we rrealized that and I didn't even have time to try to figure buses out etc (not the route I normally take) so he went back to work and I started walking. 55 minutes later!!!! Yeah. Stood in line, filled out forms, all for them to tell me I need a copy of the child order!!! We can't do anything further til I get that or a register of events(something like that). Walked 55 minutes BACK to the court just in time for them to close just a few minutes before!!! It was on my way anyhow but frustrating! They don't come up here again for two more weeks now. By then it was only about 40 more minutes til Jope would get off work so I started walking toward target and he met me etc. Got home at 6:00 after 3 hours total of walking mind you!!!
I was kind of frustrated and so tempted!! Carl's Jr.! , Taco Bell!! I even wanted pizza!!! But I kept saying NO! You had your "bad day" saturday!! This will help balance it etc! Fortunately I had bought another can of cashews and so I had 1 serving already and told myself to go ahead and have another. Much better than fast food crap!! What saved me from grabbing pizza on the way home was the fact I had started chili beans in crock pot before I left and knew we would come home to dinner!! Hooray!!!! Otherwise I guarantee it would of been pizza! So I am proud of myself for resisting and planning ahead.
Anyhow that particular homeschool is not like independent study I would have to spend 3 hours a day!!! I don't mind supervising and helping her here and there but I REFUSe to be her teacher! I have 5 kids and a house and a dh and plus a 3 year old I do NOT have time for that! So he gave me the number of a few other places where it would be once a week with teacher and me not being responsible. I called them and I need her ss card(stolen last summer) and waiting list is like at least a week. So I was thinking and irritated and like, we MAY be moving!!! WHy wait a few weeks and hassle and then maybe get her in and then move! I still wanted to get to the ss office but wasn't able to yesterday. So that is when I started thinking to try to see what I could get done courtpaperwork wise!
I told her at home that it may be a few weeks and that I need her cooperation in going to school til then etc, but that I am working on it. How does she repay that? I have to almost drag her out this a.m. and she did NOT make it to the bus in time although we were not sure. Joey went out and looked around but didn't see her so we thought she did. He went on bus at 9:00 to work(her bus comes at 6:50) Anyhow so I was busy in the kitchen cleaning up from last nite(too tired to do it yesterday etc) feeding katy, laundry, you know all the fun stuff.
I was really praying about this whole situation and I feel she is trying to control everything. The other nite I did talk to her again about the cutting and I told her that just for life sake in general, she needs to be careful about that. If a counselor or what have you thinks you tryed to kill yourself they can lock you up in the mental ward etc! Hurting yourself is not something to play around with. (I know she was acting out and not wanting to kill herself etc but you know what I mean) And she said something like, "I just did it cause I didn't want to go to school". So IMO, obviously we have the other influences we all talked about and got rid of which I feel contributed to it but the bottom line is this she hates school and it sounds like she is trying to "force our hand".
I can not be a "babysitter" I can NOT make sure she does not cut herself every day til kingdom come. I can be aloving , supportive, talk to her try to get to the root of the problem but if someone really wants to hurt themselves they will find a way!
I do not want her to think that any time she gets her way all she has to do is cut herself or whatever crap she is thinking in her head. Does any one know what I mean? Joe and I are trying to walk a fine line between helping her and being there for her, yet not allowing her to run this house!!!
Anyhow, around 10:30 I went outside cause I had seen someone brought a dish out there earlier so i went out there and guess who was out there? Yep!!! She about scared me half to death but I was like, "Get in here!!!"
I had alreay been praying about all this in general and just really felt the Lord is telling me to be strong, to not let her run the house or the environment.
I do still feel homeschool may be a great idea but right now I just feel like she is just trying to get away with something. If she continues to have this attitude etc I am going to have to deal with that crap ALL day. (trial basis is also a great idea)
ANyhow but the point is I asked her to go to school for another wek til we can figure this out and she can't even do that. When she first got home I tried to explain to her all the stuff I am dealing with right now and that I am trying to do what I can to get her in a home study but that I need her cooperation for another week or two to be able to do this and that I need her to GET to school til then! She just gave me a hard time about it and sat there with a blank look and couldn't even give me a yes or no just a 'i guess', ya know, just basically being a brat. I am sick of it!
I told her fine, homeschool is off for now! That it is a priviledge and that maybe in a week or two I will rethink it if she can show me cooperation and something different! I told her that if she does not get to school, then I will be calling the truant officers to come get her and pick her up for school!!!
Other than that for now I don't know what else to do. I haver tried the "understanding parent stuff" and it didn't work. Maybe it is time for some tough love!
So I told her since she is home she will be scrubbing the kitchen walls and sweeping and mopping etc. At first she tried to go in the bathroom but I got her to come out and she did get stuff done without further pressure and w/out being sluggish which is what she normally would do when "forced" to do somthing. I took her dvd player and vido game away temporarily. She didn't want to eat anything and got her stuff done and came and asked me if she could play her game, I told her no. She did a great job helping and I appreciate it but she missed school so no for today.
Anyhow does anyone have the 411 on truancy and all that? Arrrggghhhh!!! I just want to move us away from here! Please be praying for us on that end as well. Everyone. Thanx for letting me rant!!!!
I hope all of you are doing well with eating and losing. I am hoping to lose another couple pounds this week. No walk today. I did enough yesterday!