Sugar Busters Weekly Support Board 3/10-3/16

[cherylco]

Hi everybody
Still SB and just been unable to post lately.
Both my kids are voluntarily doing SB! It's hard to cheat when your 9 year old refuses to eat something that's not legal. I mean how can I cheat when he won't??
Darn kids!

Cheryl

[Teensybean]

Thursday Evening

Hello All-- Finally back from town and the rat race. I love living out here in the boonies!! Here is the scoop on Dh. They have scheduled him for a five hour surgery on the 2nd of April at 10am. Earliest he could get in due to the time it is going to take. Will have one more Dr appointment on the 20th for a general physical to make sure he is okay for surgery, and be fitted for his back brace. Then one visit to the hospital for blood work and such. They will have to do nerve work on disc's 2-3-4-5 and definite fusion on 4 and 5. Said it will be painful. So that is where we are at now. I know he will be better afterwards no matter what. And he knows too. As it is now he can't even walk out to the mail box before he has to stop because of the pain.

cjengo--Welcome to our SB board. Great people here, and lots of help. I am new also, and have been driving everyone crazy with my questions, so don't hesitate. Sounds like we could be in the same boat here. I quit losing in September after losing 81 pounds on Protein Power. I would like to lose another 25 to 35. Started SB on 3/2/03. Deb seems to think I am not eating enough either. I refuse to give in. I will find a way!! Again, Welcome.

Quilter--Hope that the fundraiser went off without a hitch, and was a smashing success. I loved Spelling Bee's when I was in school. Don't seem to be as good as I used to be though. You know.... that CRS syndrome. LOL.

Heartmom-- Too funny, we must be on the same wave length. I was just thinking yesterday of painting my toe nails and getting my toering back on. But haven't made the effort yet. Spring is on its way..... A 70 pound loss is awesome!!! You go girl.

Country-- Those different flavors of yogurt sound yummy. Especially the Swiss Mocha one. And the Kiwi Cinnamon. I never thought of using coffee mixes or anything other than the sugar free syrups. Guess I better go look in the pantry. I know my oldest son brought me some SF Apple cider mix. That might be good with some cinnamon. I'm on a mission now! LOL.

Serene-- Again I am so sorry about your dog. I cried reading what happened. My heart goes out to you. My male Bassethound has a lump on his chest, and his Vet said to keep an eye on it to make sure it wasn't growing or changing. So far I don't think it has. He goes in this month for his shots. I will have it checked again then. I not only don't type too fast, I have never been in a chat room before. Should I be scared?? Ha Ha.

Deb--Sorry to hear about your father. Surgery is a scary thought for anything. Prayers are with him and your family. Great job on meeting all the challenges. Well, it looks like I messed up again. Had beans yesterday as a protein only. So that means I had 3 starches instead of 2. Will I ever get this right? I really don't know what foods to add to get my calories up either. I really tried yesterday, but adding more vegetables really doesn't up the calorie count very fast. Some suggestions would be nice from anyone who cares to address this for me. Thanks!! Hey... I found the Fiber One cereal today. I'm up on my fiber for 3 out of 4 days this week. Water is never a problem. But I didn't get my exercise in today....had to be in town too early this morning.


Monet--Glad you are feeling better. Sounds like you did well on your shopping expedition. Wish I could find more thing here. Barely able to find legal bread. I did get the Bob's Red Mill WW Flour, and Pastry Flour. Now what is the Agave Nectar?? Don't worry about the weight gain yet.... I think they will whoosh away at the end of the week.

Jackie--Have a great day!!

Linworthlady-- Hope you are enjoying your sons visit. STEP AWAY from the treats!! You will thank yourself later. LOL.

Hope everyone has a great night. See you tomorrow.

[GreatBigMonsterMomma]

heartmom~ Your ideal weight is going to have to depend upon how you feel. The truth is that none of the height-weight charts agree. IMO (& I've gotten this from a couple of nurses as well), the BMI is probably the worst place to get your ideal weight from, as it fails to take into account things like frame size and muscle mass.

I'm 5'5", and the BMI wants me to weigh around 126 pounds, which is totally unrealistic, since I too have a big frame. I am fond of the calculator at Shape.com, since it takes your frame size into account, and also jives pretty closely with the weight at which I feel my best. The tool can be found here, and it says your ideal range is between 146 & 167 pounds. So 160 would be just fine, and so too would 150. (FWIW, it gives me a range of 137 - 155.)

Today was another good day, I'm still OP. The test will come Sunday when my mother arrives. I'm planning to take her to one of my favorite restaurants for dinner--a restaurant called Baker's Crust, to give you an idea. Well, I know they've got some stuff made with WW bread, so I'll try to be good, but I'm not going to kick myself if I slip off. If I avoid their yummy french fries, I'll consider the night a success.

[Ellen]

Thursday evening check in.

I got 108 oz of water in today.

Fiber is at 24.6

And I did my treadmill, plus worked hard in the yard on the roses for an hour.

Is life good or what?!



I did mess up a bit...had four breads today, but was ok on calories and everything else.

[Debelli]

Just a quick goodnight, computer just got free but I'm headed off to bed. Will post in the AM

{{{HUGS}}}:grophug:

Debbie

[Serene]

Good evening!

Had a very busy day at work so didn't get to the board and now I'm too pooped to post. Just wanted to say hello to everyone and I'll try to catch up some tomorrow. I don't want to go too many days without at least a hello as it helps keep me motivated.

See ya'll tomorrow and looking forward to some good Friday Funnies!

Wendy

[Ellen]

OK, I am early by an hour for Friday funnies, but I have some time to kill waiting for the deliquent daughter to get home.

Found this one on another board...its silly, but I like silly...

My wife took our very limp parrot into a veterinary office this evening.
As my wife put Herman (our old parrot) on the table,
the vet pulled out his stethoscope to listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,
"I'm so sorry, but Herman has passed away."
My wife got really upset and asked the vet, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something?"
After hearing what my wife asked the vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room.
He returned a few moments later with a beautiful black Labrador.
As my wife looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs,
put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead Herman from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out but returned a few moments later with a cat!
The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at Herman.
The cat sat back, looked up at the vet, shook is head,
meowed and ran out of the room.
The vet looked at my wife and said, "I'm sorry; but like I said, your parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably, permanently dead."
He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to my wife.
My wife was still in shock over Herman's death,
took the bill, "$150?!"she cried. "You mean you really charge me $150 just to tell me my bird is dead?!" The vet shrugged, "If you had taken my word for it, the bill would have only have been $20, but ... with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan....."

[Ellen]

Observations:

1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.

7. According to a recent survey, men say that the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now that the world is weird and people take PROZAC to make it normal.

12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

13. There is a theory that states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappearand be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

15. You read about all these terrorists--most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration!!

[Ellen]

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.


HU'S ON FIRST

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary
General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China.
And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

[Fillise]

Heyall! ThoughtI'd look in before I toddle off to bed.

Monet--the funnies were cute!

Heart--love the toe right--just hope those sandals aren't white--BOB will bet you if they are!

Gracious--where have you been this week? Miss you!

Country--I'm not going to talk yo you tonight--I wouldn't want to say anything to get your goat! Ok, on that really baaaaad attempt at an early Friday funny, I'm going to bed.

See y'all tomorrow!

Susan

[linworthlady]

Friday morning--I got my 3 days of exercise in plus I've been getting my water in. I might wait until the son goes home before I figure up fiber. I have this feeling it will take a long time--is there a good source on the web for fiber? My son is leaving Sunday morning. Today we are going to the mall to buy him some clothes before he goes. Kids are so expensive Thanks for all the suggestions about snacks I've never noticed the nitrotech bars.

Monet--You have so many roses--did you plant them all?

Jackie-I'm with you on eating salads at home. I love them out though. Yesterday I had a grilled chicken, asparagus and roasted carrot salad-all I qcan say is yum.

Cheryl--That's funny about your kids doing SB. MY son is too-keeps you honest, huh?>

Teensy-Prayers going out for a successful surgery for dh. Not sure how to get your calories up--more meat?

GBMM-I like that Shape calculator too. Thanks for the link. Interesting about the BMI,especially since it has gotten so popular. I am big boned too if you use the wrist test-KWIM? But sometimes I am afraid I'm using it as an excuse--I think it is all very confusing. Have fun with your mom.

AI better get busy and will talk to all of you later.

[Ellen]

Oh! Oh! I got one in email this morning....here goes!

Subject: The female skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo)

The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street is not just an athlete, she is also a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say,

Picabo, ICU.

[Ellen]

Good Morning! I took a diuretic, and as soon as it kicks in, I am facing off with the metal monster. Something about warm weather makes me retain fluid like crazy, and the doc told me to use the diuretic when I needed it.

Right now, I am almost ready to chew on the desk, the woodwork, anything...but I have to wait a bit longer to eat. My thyroid meds are supposed to be taken on an empty stomach, and you have to wait an hour until you eat. This helps absorption. Some mornings, the wait is torture...like this morning.

FILLISE: Glad you enjoyed the funnies! Hope you slept well!

LIN: Yes, I planted all the roses myself. I had a bit of help on a few of them from my husband, but not much! He did prepare the beds for me. Planting them is the easy part. Keeping up with the care is where I fail miserably! I even bought the type of fungicide that only has to be sprayed every three weeks, but I don't get that done regularly, or feed them either. I suspect I will lose a few after pruning this year. That is ok. I have my eye on a few new ones! Roses are an addiction. You get a few, then you want a few more, and then it balloons into a full blown obsession. I had 72 roses three years ago! I know a guy near me who has about 250. A guy who posts on the rose forum who lives near Miami has about 1,000! That is a full time job!

CHERYL: Good to see you back! That is great about your kids doing SB and keeping you honest! My daughter is not doing SB, but she is all over me if I even LOOK at her stuff that is illegal. I can't decide if it is loving concern or greed!

[Debelli]

Good Friday Morning All

Well, sorta good morning. I just had the most BIZARRE thing happen to me! I was sitting at the computer, drinking a bottle of water to try and get some water in before I went on my walk and my nose started to run, or so I thought. I thought it was a bid odd to feel this trickle. When I went to wipe it away I immediately felt another trickle and thought it was weird. I look at my hand (didn't have anything but at the moment) and it's BLOOD!!!! The trickle became a stream, I mean the blood is streaming quickly out of the right nostril and I don't know what the heck is happening! There was one of ELI'S shirts in the 4th bedroom and I just grabbed it (I sure wasn't going to walk on my beige carpet bleeding!) Putting my head back wasn't an option because I felt it streaming down my throat. When I held the shirt there for a while and than took it away out come a clot of blood, it had coagulated. But as soon as that came out, more blood started to stream out. It took a good 10 minutes to stop bleeding and just as mysteriously as it started it stopped. I don't know what started this all to happen, I didn't pick my nose, I didn't sneeze, I was just sitting here sipping at a bottle of water. Finally went to see what I looked like and clean myself up. I can only imagine if I had not come to the computer and just gotten out to go for my walk as I had initially intended and here I am, walking down the street, surrounded by morning traffic and this happened out there what would of happened!! Can you imagine, not only me freaking out but morning commuters! I'm sure 911 would of been called for sure. But now, I have to figure out why this happened. I've never had this happen in my entire life! Has anyone had this happen to them??? I'm sure it was nothing, but still, it was weird to have this happen to me.

Well, I had all good intentions of walking today and now that the bleeding has stopped I wonder if it would be okay to hit the pavement??? On second thought, I hear it thundering out there. It looked like rain this morning and I was going to try and get out there beforehand, but I think I'm going to have to just call it a dud-day and forget this idea of going out this morning. Oh well

Not good news where my Father is concerened. He told me that he got the pathology report form the Dr. and it's cancer. I think he hadn't said anything to my Mom because I asked her why she hadn't said anything to me when I asked her earlier and she said she didn't know that he had even gotten it. Now, we are waiting to see when they are going to schedule the surgery to see what actually is going on up there. Until then we just have to wait. I'm just praying it's not too far spread that it can't be taken care of with some sort of proceedure, that is the thing I worry about the worse. Will let you all know when I find out more. Thanks for all your good wishes!!!

OMG, there may be hope for me yet!!! I found a brisket in the freezer yesterday so I decided to make it. Asked my DM how to do it and with a few words of advice I attempted my best shot at making it. IT WAS TO DIE FOR!!!!! It was not only tender but tasty as well. ELI couldn't believe that I actually made it. I told him this was a once-a-year event, not to get use to it!!!!

Eating was pretty good yesterday. I only didn't weigh the brisket I ate, but figured it to be about 3oz. or so. I had to guesstimate the meat from info on the web. So I had approx. 1285 calories 50 grams of fat (a bit too high at 35%), 136.5 carbs (which is only 8 carbs lower than intended) and 75.5 grams of protein (little lower than intended). So, yesterday, with having 1285 calories 35% came from fat, 42.5% from carbs and 23.5% from protein-not too bad.

I have to go volunteer at the school for a couple hours this afternoon and run a few errands beforehand, so before I bore you all to death and run out of time to reply to everyone, I better get a move on!

COUNTRY, good job on the water! Thanks for the good words for my Dad, I appreciate them! Thanks for the link for that game, I'll have to check it out. ELI loves playing testris on his old Game Boy. I'll play if I'm bored (did I fail to mention, he keeps it next to the toilet to pass the time!)

CJENGO, how are you journaling your food. Are you doing it on FITDAY.COM or a site similar, or do you do what I do and just keep track with paper and pen? Whoever said you were eating too much doesn't know what they are talking about, so forget what they've said. I can understand not wanting to cook for yourself, I have the same problem. LAUREN likes one food, MICHAEL is vegetarian and won't eat most of what she eats, I eat my stuff and ELI eats whatever and whenever he comes home-I can't even tell you the last time we all sat together for a meal that wasn't at a restaurant and even then those times are few! There are many things you can make and then portion out and freeze that are not only good, but simple as well. Salads are okay, but they are not a meal and lettuce basically has no nutritional value.

FILLISE, if you have to send the pants back, do they make you pay for the postage? You'll have to let me know how they are. I see so many cute things on the web and in catalogs but just knowing how I am with clothes I'd never take the chance. Plus, I'm a bit on the skeptical side when it comes to things like that, they never seem to be as nice as what is shown it seems, I've seen things in catalogs then in the stores and I wouldn't dream of wearing it once I see it. I'm hoping you are one of the lucky ones!!!

MONET, I'm really surprised to know they have the agave at that price, it seems unheard of lately. Maybe the cost is going down, possibly better production? Who knows. Good job on the TM. Great Friday Funnies!! Thanks for posting them!

JACKK, I try my best to stick to the 2-3 starchy carb rule, but I think sticking to 2 is really more for weight loss than maintenance, though at this time, weight loss is what I'm going for. I'm not big on starchy carbs like pasta, rice, SP, stuff like that, I may have a slice of bread or a the crust on the ww pot pie. As for the vegetables, I know that I'm terrible with that, BUT, look at how much I had of the spinach! That was worth 2 servings. I know I should eat more, but it's a start. In fact, I think my body is in shock that I've eaten some spinach the last 2 days, I'm crapping green! Honestly, writing everything down is so easy and fast. I weigh everything that's not pre-portioned and packaged. It takes me a second or two to write it down, many of the foods I know by heart (like 1 cup milk, 1 sl bread, 3oz chicken breast, etc.) There's not much I have to look on the computer for when it comes to figuring out my info and when I do, I'll hit CALORIEKING.COM. Doing it is like second nature to me.

HEART, growing up I always heard, "you have such a pretty face". No one could say anything else, unless it was followed by "but". I am actually replying on my measuring tape more than the scale now.

CHERYL, glad to see you checking in!!!! We've missed you. Get on when you can and let us know more of what's been going on with you!!!!! Great about the kids and SB!!!! Easier when the whole family is eating the same way - HEALTHY!

TEENSY, I'm sure all will work out for DH. We'll all be throwing good thoughts and prayers out to you both. Please don't get yourself all worried about not being exact with this and that. Try to think of SB and this WOE as some guidelines to help you lose weight, it doesn't have to be exact science. I eat beans many times and don't count them as either. I don't journal mixed meals, too hard. When I eat hummus, or another dish where beans are involved, I just eat them, in moderation (not only because of this WOE, but you know how beans effect people, ELI says that I don't need any help in the gas dept!). SB suggests keeping starchy carbs down to 2-3 a day, so you're fine. You'll find days that you'll eat more than 3 starchy carbs and that will be fine. It's the KIND of starchy carbs we're more intesterested in. There are hormonal times that I need to eat more, that nothing seems to satisfy me, no matter how much I eat and I eat a LOT more carbs than I should, sometimes more starchy carbs than I should, and I still lose. Eating more than 2-3 a day once in a while isn't going to make you not lose. so don't worry about it. If you are doing FITDAY.COM to keep track why not make your journal public so we can look and give you an idea. If you aren't using fitday why not try it for a day and then we can see, or even better, just post one full day of eating on the board.

MOMMA, I'm not sure where you got your info on the BMI, but there's no way that a person 5'5" should weigh less than someone like me who's only 5'1.5" tall. I'd definitely go more with what's on the SHAPE.COM site. What kind of rest. is BAKER'S CRUST? Sounds interesting. I'm sure you'll do fine. Put yourself to a test and just think about us being there with you in spirit. Show your DM the willpower you've got!!!!

LIN, good job in meeting this weeks challenges! CONGRATS! Here's two great sites that will be helpful with fiber:

http://www.wehealnewyork.org/healthi...tentchart.html

http://www.hcf-nutrition.org/fiber/fiberchart.html

Well, I've seem to be caught up now! I think I'm going to get undressed and veg out for an hour or two before I have to go run those errands. Will check in before I leave.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!!!

{{{HUGS}}}

Debbie

[Debelli]

Here's my contribution to the FRIDAY FUNNIES


President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell
sitting over there?"
The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III ".
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits.
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with
big tits?
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ***, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"

********************

Laxograms

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

5. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

6. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

7. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd Dye.

8. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

9._ The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

10. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

11. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

12. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

13. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

14. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

15. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

16. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

*****************

NEW MEDS FOR WOMEN

D A M I T O L: Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to **** for up to 8 hours.

St. M O M 'S W O R T: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N: Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

D U M E R O L: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of loud country western music and cheap beer.

F L I P I T O R: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women._ Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person...can we get naked now?"

B U Y- A G R A: Injectable stimulant to be taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

EXTRA STRENGTH BUY-ONE-AL: When combined with Buy-agra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a book by Dr. Laura.

J A C K A S S P I R I N: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, or phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share his/her life stories with total strangers.

S E X C E D R I N: More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.

R A G A M E T: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

P E P T O B I M B O: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
**************