Hi chickies,
HELP! Well, I guess there's really nothing anyone else can do for me but it felt good to yell for a minute.

My boss is leaving in a few months. I work in a research environment. Who your principle investigator is determines what you do and when your PI goes, well good luck finding a position someplace else. They usually try to squeeze you into another group if your experience goes with what they are doing. Mine doesn't go with the other groups. My boss keeps saying, "you'll be ok for at least a year." And "I'm working on some things, don't panic yet."

Well, I can't help but be anxious and at first I was handling it well. Continued exercising, eat well but yesterday when I finished off a huge hunk of milk chocolate I realized that I'm on the slippery slope right now. I was thinking back to how much chocolate I've consumed in the last few weeks. Oh, dear...it's amazing I haven't gained any wieght yet.

I'm eating for emotional reasons and not for hunger and I'm slightly depressed so that leaves me feeling tired and sort of like the beginnings of a cold so I don't want to exercise but I know that I should because I'll probably feel better...whine, whine, I know I'm being a baby and making excuses but...hey... at least I'm catching it before too much damage.

So this morning I pulled out my small size jeans (for me anyway) and sucked in my gut to wear them today to remind me that I need to be careful of what I eat.... Now if I can just get off my lazy butt and get back to exercising .

I have this fear that I'll get complacent and one day wake up and see me the way I was a couple years ago.

Keep me in your thoughts/prayers please. I need it at this point.
Sarah

oh Sarah I think the fact that you ARE catching yourself is huge. You know why you are doing this and don't want to continue so now you just need to swap behaviors. Obviously exercise would be the ultimate choice but if that's not what you want right now, indulge yourself-just NOT with food. Little shopping splurges, go berry picking, take a hike, pick some place 30 miles away that you've never explored, anything to just shake up your routine

You can do this Sarah-don't give in to the chocolate demons

Sarah
Don't beat yourself up too much! The fact that you're recognizing this now, and not when you've put weight back on, means that you really have changed your habits so you are completely in control!
There are always going to be times when things get tough and you want to comfort eat, but now you have the knowledge and power to keep it in control, and not settle into old (bad) habits. I agree with Batmomm - try to find something not food related that will perk up your mood. You'll get through it!
x ellie

Sarah-

First off, congrats on noticing that you are sliding. It happens. We ARE human - well the last time I checked we are. Isnt there some saying "To err is to be human"? Anyways. As for the job stuff, he said you have a year. DC has lots of research institutes (colleges and companies) which I'm sure you are aware of. I'm not sure what branch of science you are in, but I'm sure you have options. The NIH, Georgetown, George Mason, GW, etc. I'm a fellow scientist and I've been hunting for jobs of late...point being, you have experience and I know there are places hiring. I know how frustrating it is - I'm trying to break into the field atm and am going nuts. Turn that frustration into something good - go for a walk, beat your pillows, scream into your pillows until you are red in the face. If it's eating that comforts you, find something that is equally as yummy as that Godiva, but won't mess up the work you've done. (Like those brownies in the P1 recipe section) You will make it through this, both physically and mentally. *hugs* And I wish you well

Thanks, it just such a hassle looking for a new job. I want to stay with the industry I'm in and there is a hiring freeze or at least a slow down. The positions that I've seen advertised are only open for a week and that means that they already have a candidate.

I should have woke up earlier about my eating because my dh the other night said, "you need to pay attention, you're eating too much and too often." I just got mad at him and ignored him. But maybe he realized what was going on.