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Monday Snork!

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Old 03-20-2006, 12:01 PM   #1
gotta lose it!
 
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Default Monday Snork!

How do these people survive?
>
>ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that
you
>could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a
half
>dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager
>at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or
>twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I
can
>order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six
>McNuggets
>
> TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few
>items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I
>picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register
>and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After
the
>girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking
>it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the
bar
>code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her
>"I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said
>"OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what
had
>just happened.
>
>THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her
>floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to
what
>she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
>asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy"
>
>FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her
>car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should
have
>replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get
into
>my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)
>would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an
alarm,
>too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing
it
>and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the
>door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the
>batteries. It's a long walk."
>
>FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.
>One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost
>out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper,"
>the secretary told her With that, the intern took her last remaining
>blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make
>five "blank" copies.
>
>SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor
home
>was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need
of
>repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in
"Twister."
>I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had
>set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
>
>SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the
central
>office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
>problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
>one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming
>from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
>
>EIGHT Police in Radnor , Pa. , interrogated a suspect by placing
a
>metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
>machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
>pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't
>telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the
suspect
>confessed.
>
>
> NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if
she
>needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants.
>The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be
>fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer.....
Dispatcher:
>Rush him in to emergency
>
>Life is tough.
>
>It's tougher if you're stupid
>
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Old 03-20-2006, 04:30 PM   #2
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Sometimes I wonder how some folks manage to get through life!! (and that includes me! )
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Old 03-20-2006, 06:41 PM   #3
Helloooo? Treats, please!
 
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Geesh!! Scary! People can be so stupid. What's even scarier is that I've had a few too many of my own "stupid moments" !!!
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Old 03-22-2006, 01:58 AM   #4
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That is too funny!
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