South Beach Diet Fat Chicks on the Beach!

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Old 08-03-2004, 09:44 AM   #1  
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I've been very happy with my weight loss. So far I've lost 40 pounds, yeah for me! I've stalled this last 2 months between 158-162 lbs. But, I've been thinking about all those people who regain their weight and I have this fear that somewhere along the way I'm going to lose the incentive to keep this up or something.

Right now, I can't imagine ever "falling" so far that I'd gain back everything but I've read about people who have gained everything plus more. What happens?

I'm wanting to prepare for the possibility so I can stop it before it starts.

Previously, I've tried to lose weight for all the wrong reasons, family reunion, high school reunion, dr told me to, I probably ought to lose the weight, I'm way too fat for my height. I'd lose a few pounds and then somehow panic and gain it all back.

I'm working on control of my emotional eating issues. I think Dr. Phil's book was great about that. His eating plan was too tricky for me, but the emotional stuff was great.

I realize that losing weight is not going to change my life, I have to like myself at any weight. Losing weight makes it easier to live in general. No more limping around on bad knees, out of breath after walking from the car to the store, things like that.

Any thoughts?

Sarah
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Old 08-03-2004, 09:50 AM   #2  
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Sarah, I think this is a great discussion to have here, and I have many of the same fears, but you might also want to post this in the Maintainer's forum...they would have lots of sound advice, I would think, as many have been keeping their weight off for some time now.

I agree with those fears...and I think that the key might be ensuring that we are really making a lifestyle change, and one that we can live with. Can you eat like this for life? Are you willing to? I know I am, but I also figure that in Phase 3, I might have something off plan here and there. What will be tough for me is to not let that turn into a binge. I'm not totally reconciled to the idea of never having sugar for life...but knowing what it does to me, I don't know if I want the results of a cheat...so I may have to never cheat! That will be tough! I'm still dealing with the emotions of it.
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Old 08-03-2004, 10:45 AM   #3  
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Hi, Sarah. Your fear is understandable. We keep reading stories about how many people re-gain the weight they've lost and how few, in comparison, keep it off for the rest of their lives.

First things, first. Congrats on your weight loss! Right now you are at a plateau. Don't give up and don't let your fears get the best of you. Keep going toward your goal.

If you are on the South Beach diet, then you have a plan to maintain your way of eating with Phase 3. It's important to think of the time after you reach your goal as having a healthy way of eating now for life. A Weight-Watchers leader once said to someone who said she cheated on the program, "you didn't cheat, you just made an inappropriate choice". Remember, we choose the food. You can have a treat on a special occassion, enjoy it, and then get back to your eating plan.

Another thing. Journaling will really help you. Just expressing your fear as you did is a step in the right direction. You may want to make a book or collage of photos depicting your progress. If you have been journaling, you can look back at your journey and see how far you have come. I think it's important to see how much work went into getting you where you are now. It's good to have some kind of reminder.

Beachgal had some good advice...the maintainers forum would be a good place to go for some suggestions, too.

Don't set yourself up for failure by worrying about something that hasn't happened yet (and won't...think positive). Keep up the great work.
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Old 08-03-2004, 10:51 AM   #4  
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I did post the same message on the maintainers forum.

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44441

In case you want to read what they've said. So far only one person has replied but it is good advice.
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Old 08-03-2004, 11:12 AM   #5  
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Someone just last week asked me point blank if I "wanted to keep the weight off after I lost it all." Well, der. She followed it up with "Well, will you have to eat like that forever?"

You know, I don't really doubt myself on whether I can maintain the loss and the lifestyle; it's other people that make me question, and I think that's unfortunate.

Other people act like I've doomed myself to purgatory or something, but I like the food I eat on this plan, I feel better physically when I eat things that are good for me, and I believe that going back to eating things that aren't healthy for me just isn't worth undoing all this hard work. I've noticed that I actually don't feel well after I eat things that cause my blood sugar levels to spike and crash. I'll feel lightheaded and lethargic. It's just not worth it.

I'm not saying I'll never cheat or that I never do now. Moderation in everything is my motto. Never treating yourself leads to binges of the kind that undo weight loss. Too much treating yourself is no longer a treat.

I guess my only real fear about regaining has to do with getting pregnant. I'm at the age when everyone is constantly asking my husband and I when we're going to have kids, and I'm really wondering if I want to put myself through the gain when I've tried so hard to lose. I know that I'll probably gain less while pregnant if I eat the way I'm supposed to and will therefore have less to lose afterward. But I guess that I'm just afraid I won't have the willpower to want to lose a big chunk of weight again. Seems like it would take less willpower to simply maintain, I guess.

Anyway, I think it's natural to have that fear of regaining, but for me, it helps to rationalize it out. Don't let the fear control you. You won't learn to enjoy your new lifestyle if you're constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. You are in control.

Last edited by fuzzy324; 08-03-2004 at 11:58 AM.
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Old 08-03-2004, 11:16 AM   #6  
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Good thread. I've been overweight so long that I wonder if my fear is of losing rather than regaining. I guess I'll deal with that fear later.
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Old 08-03-2004, 11:21 AM   #7  
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Ruth -- I totally hear you on that point. Self-sabotaging no more!

This really is a good thread. I wonder this same thing when I get rid of a "too big size" for example - "Should I really get rid of it? What if I gain weight back???"
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Old 08-03-2004, 11:26 AM   #8  
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Jen, ditch the threads! I did and it felt good!
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Old 08-03-2004, 11:43 AM   #9  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fuzzy324
I guess my only real fear about regaining has to with getting pregnant. I'm at the age when everyone is constantly asking my husband and I when we're going to have kids, and I'm really wondering if I want to put myself through the gain when I've tried so hard to lose. I know that I'll probably gain less while pregnant if I eat the way I'm supposed to and will therefore have less to lose afterward. But I guess that I'm just afraid I won't have the willpower to want to lose a big chunk of weight again. Seems like it would take less willpower to simply maintain, I guess.
I'm having the same fear of becoming pregnant. My first child was totally unexpected and I was physically and emotionally unprepared. She's now almost 18 months old; part of my inspiration to start SBD was to be more prepared when we're ready for #2. Many people have been asking lately when we're gonna start trying again. DH's response is almost always immediate: "if I had my way, she'd already be pregnant." But I'm just not sure that I want to have another baby. Partly because my first is SO wonderful, I'm afraid a second would be the anti-Christ or something. And partly because I've worked so hard to get in better shape, I don't want to throw it away and start over.

Ultimately, it's us (DH & I) who will have to work this fear out, I suppose. My Irish Catholic upbringing almost makes me feel obligated to provide DD w/ enough siblings to field a soccer team.

To a lesser extent, I'm concerned b/c I tend to gain weight w/ the seasons. It's seems to be more difficult for me to get up the motivation to exercise in the winter (it's cold, it's dark, etc). And the fresh produce is not as appealing when it's been shipped from south of the equator and looks like they dragged it behind a truck the whole way.
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Old 08-03-2004, 03:48 PM   #10  
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I don't know if this will work, but here is a suggestion that a co-worker (who has never been overweight in her life) follows.

She gives herself a 5 pound weight gain tolerance. If she reaches the 5 pounds over her ideal weight, she takes immediate action to lose that 5 pounds - through more exercise, food control, whatever. On SBD, that food control can be to go back to phase 1 until the weight is lost. I have watched her do this after special events in her life, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.

Another thing that I have been trying to become better at is following what my husband does. Over the past 34 years, I have watched his eating patterns - unfortunately not followed them. He always stops eating when he is full. If he doesn't save room for dessert, he does not eat it. I have to make a conscious effort to do that, but it is exactly what I just did on vacation. I felt good about myself and gained only 1 pound even though we were at an all inclusive resort. This one does take discipline, though. I have started to remind myself at the beginning of every meal that I promise not to overeat, then self-check my fullness several times during the meal. When I am feeling just about full, I quit eating. If I need a snack later I enjoy without guilt. This one has started to work for me now and is becoming habit. The other one, I will work on when I have reached my ideal weight.
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Old 08-03-2004, 04:45 PM   #11  
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I think the idea of a 5 pound limit is a good one. I'll have to try it when I get down to my goal weight or over the holidays.

But recognizing when I'm full has always been difficult for me...my gauge is broken. Pre-SB, I wouldn't snack between meals, so when it was meal time I was ravenous. Then I would just continue eating until I felt satisfied. Unfortunately, at that point, I was actually stuffed...but I didn't know it for 10 to 15 minutes. Eating like that became a BAAAAAAAAD habit. With SB, I've picked up some good habits, like drinking a glass of water before eating and eating slower (actually tasting my food is nice). But I'm just not confident in my own judgement when it comes to deciding when to say when.

This past weekend, I overate for the first time in a looooong time: I ate too much of Gramma Jo's baked ziti, garlic bread and meatballs...within 10 minutes, I'm sure I looked green around the gills b/c I felt so sick. NOT eating Gramma's cooking was not an option. Maybe, for me, acknowledging my inability to gauge my fullness, recognizing the booby-trap, and deciding how much I want to eat before I pick up the fork will help me. I'll probably get a chance to practice this weekend, with three birthday parties in a row. I know I can do it, I just need to be firm in my resolve.

It would be so much easier if everyone were at the Beach!
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Old 08-03-2004, 05:34 PM   #12  
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Wow, what a great thread this is! :

Full of lots of powerful emotion that I totally understand, but I bet most of our friend IRL wouldn't, necessarily.

Ruth, I know what you mean. Everytime I lose a pound, part of me is rejoicing and part of me is cringing and wanting to binge. I'm terrified of losing this weight and I know it! Being fat gives us so much freedom from trying to compete with the looks of others, measuring our beauty, and being noticed by other people...I know that sometimes we are noticed for our huge size, but a lot of the time, we are invisible. We don't fit into the equation, so we are knocked out. I'm terrified of being ogled by men. I don't want them to even know I am there! That just scares me utterly!!! I've never really been flirted with and I would have no idea how to handle it! And I hate the thought of comparing what will be a size 12 body with other's size sixes. You know?

As to the baby thing...I understand why you are worried...and considering that my mom's huge size is due entirely to unlost baby weight, I think you are more than justified! But normal baby weight gain is 20-30 pounds. I can totally deal with that!!! If I (and you) can lose dozens of pounds, we can lose 20-30. Breastfeeding is supposed to help, and if we continue the tenets of SBD and don't let "eating for two" become an excuse to binge, we can make it through, together. I think several of us SBDers will be trying at the same time next year...and we'll all cross that bridge when we come to it, hands held tight, okay? : (somebody want to sing Cumbaya? )

Love the five pound rule idea...that's what keeps my friends and sisters skinny. They eat like piglets, then when they gain, they diet. Hopefully, we can use that rule and modify it to a once-in-a-while treat, not a daily back and forth as they do.

Laurie, I know how you feel. For years I believed that I had no way of telling when I was full! Then I did a diet called "Weigh Down"...it's a Christian based diet. The main tenet is that you need to eat only when you are hungry and stop when you are full. My experience with that taught me that when I slow down and really pay attention to my body (not reading and watching tv while eating), I do know when I am full! I think if I could sense it, you can too! It just takes time and really listening. I realized that I was making a conscious choice (sometimes because I was terrified that I wouldn't get the food again... )to keep eating past full...and that I knew I would get sick when I did. I'm sure you can do this...just keep trying. Ginny, the founder of Weigh Down, recommended to us that we cut our portions in half and eat only half, first, to see if that filled us up. I never ate the second half when I did that. But if I hadn't cut it, I would have easily ate it all in two gulps! Then wanted more!!!

Eat slow and pay attention to your body. It has a tiny voice, but it does tell you when you are full.
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Old 08-03-2004, 06:23 PM   #13  
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Laurie. Thanks for a better description of 'being full' and paying attention to what your body is telling you. That is something with which I also struggle - knowing when I am getting full and stopping before I get there, but I am getting better at it.
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Old 08-03-2004, 08:26 PM   #14  
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Here's my problem.....I want this to be a lifestyle for me, and since I'm coming up on Phase 2 I think it'll be no problem....except I need potatoes to live. Mashed potatoes are my favorite thing in the world. None of this nasty "sweet potato" garbage, either. And what about beer??? A staple in my diet!!! And another food (heart attack on a plate) that is local that we call a "horseshoe." It's a piece of toast, with meat (or in my case, vegetables) on top, covered in french fries, with a WONDERFUL cheese sauce covering the whole thing. Ever come to Springfield, IL, eat at D'arcy's Pint and get one....wait....nevermind. STAY OP!

I mean when I broke the diet last night, I ate Irish Mashers and cheesy waffle fries with nachos fixins on top. It was SO good! I didn't eat until I was stuffed....I did leave some behind. I ate until I felt better and then finished my *cough* beer*cough* and was ready to be OP again today. I just don't know if I can't ever have a potato again, if this is something I want to do. Like I said earlier, last night I darn near made the decision that I just want to be fat and happy, rather than skinny and depressed.

At least when I was starving myself on WW, I could drink my beer....only 2 pts/beer. Sigh.....what to do?
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Old 08-03-2004, 10:58 PM   #15  
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Ruth -- I am going to...as soon as I get a digital camera and put it up on eBay. It's all in great condition and I might as well make SOME money off of them considering all I've spent for "in between" clothes!
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