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Be Politically Correct in 2005

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Old 01-11-2005, 09:27 AM   #1
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Default Be Politically Correct in 2005

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL *** - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

11. It's not his CRACK you see hanging out of his pants....It is MALE CLEAVAGE.

...and for the guys

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

2 She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

3. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

4. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

5. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

6. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
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HW 194
WW 186/125.75/120 May 2002
SBD 170/127.0/130 May - Nov. 2004
SBD 188/179/130 May 2012



May Goal: 10 pounds
Start Weight: 188
Present Weight: 179
Lost: 9 pounds
Remaining: 1 pounds
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Old 01-11-2005, 10:08 AM   #2
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Oh my goodness that is so funny! Thanks!
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Old 01-11-2005, 10:29 AM   #3
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Oh, how I HOWLED! Thanks for brightening up what started out as an exceptionally bad day at the office!
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Old 01-11-2005, 12:33 PM   #4
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Oh my Goodness! The crack one... I'm dying here!

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