Husbands on SBD... does yours do this? <venting, hope that's OK>
I hope I'm not the only one here with a hubby on SBD.
Mine is driving me nuts. He wants to do the diet, and I believe him, but he doesn't put one bit of effort into it. He was feeling groggy yesterday, and woke up the same way today. Why? My guess is that he simply doesn't eat enough.
Case in point: Yesterday for lunch I wasn't feeling particularly hungry, so instead of preparing a lunch per se, I just threw together a bunch of SBD friendly stuff. A chocolate ricotta thingy, celery with Laughing Cow, some smoked salmon, and a hard boiled egg.
Hubby munches on a can of tuna and a hard boiled egg. He weighs about 50 pounds more than me - much of it muscle mass, not fat - and works out HARD at the gym every day or two. Comparatively, he eats as much as or less than I do every day on this diet. Why? He gets bored with the food, and unless I prepare something for him and stick it in front of his face, he tries to get by with just snacking out of the fridge. About the most difficult thing he'll make on his own is a salad, and that's only if we have the bag lettuce that's washed & cut.
He hasn't read the books and relies on me to put information in front of his face about what to eat and what not to eat. In fairness, he did go grocery shopping with me and very much got interested in reading the nutrition contents of various items. But when it comes to actually preparing a somewhat interesting meal, he simply can't be bothered. Then he complains that the diet is "boring" and gets crabby because he's weak from not eating enough. Yesterday he told me that he wanted to get rid of the dogs (we just got a puppy who he LOVES), move to Europe (we just bought our dream house), and that the Christmas tree was bothering him. How the h#@# can a Christmas tree BOTHER someone?
Man-oh-man, what did he do before he had me to feed him?!?
My husband also doesn't eat right unless I fix it for him. That's just the way it is so I accept it. I make sure I fix enough of the right foods when I am there (dinners and lunches on the weekend) and I also keep lots of healthy leftovers in the freezer. I only keep snack foods in the house that are on plan (of course he buys himself stuff that isn't healthy but I refuse to feel responsible for those actions).
Does he really need to lose weight or is this just a way for him to eat healthier? I'm not clear from your post. If he is at a good weight (or close to it), then maybe he should be skipping phase 1 so he will get enough carbs. This is what I did for my son. You might need to fix some healthy carbs for your husband to go along with your phase 1 foods - maybe rice or a small portion of whole wheat pasta. I wish that my husband would act more responsibly and fix himself food (especially since he is home all day) but I can't change him. If he should be eating phase 1, then you probably need to make sure he gets enough beans. He really needs the carbs to support his muscle mass.
Barbara - Started South Beach 5/22/4
HW/SW/CW/GW - Jan start 169 goal of 2
Abadoozy, it sounds like a lot more is going on besides the diet. Have you guys thought about doing some counseling together? That's not saying there's anything wrong with your marriage...just that sometimes it helps to talk these things through with a neutral professional.
That said, yes, my DH can drive me nuts. He hasn't read the book either, but he does tend to remember what I say about the tenets of the diet. Sometimes, he just orders what I do because he isn't sure what to order. Maybe that's what your DH is doing?
You might want to make a couple of big SBD friendly meals on the weekend or when you have time, then keep them in the fridge in little containers. Then DH can just "heat n' eat" them. BTW, try to increase your veggie intake...all of the things you were snacking on were protein based, which is good for you, but not in place of everything else, you know? Try to have the tuna on cucumber rounds, or with shredded cabbage instead of lettuce. You know?
Here's hoping that DH will come around. I know Mamacita can commiserate...she has a DH and a BIL who can make her life very difficult!
hehehhee, no we don't need counseling... not that counseling is bad, in fact, if I had the time/money I'd go to a therapist once a week for life. I'm just ventin'. Hubby is very much the type that when one thing is wrong, EVERYTHING is wrong. IE, if he has a bad day at work, then the house isn't clean enough, we don't have enough money, we eat wrong, the dogs are badly trained, etc. etc. Don't worry, he doesn't take it out on me. I just leave him alone for a while, then make fun of him. You should have seen him last night before bed when I started in on him about the Christmas tree "bothering" him - he turned bright red, and hid under the covers giggling until I quit making fun of him. Then he popped out and said "I'm so lucky to have someone who puts up with my moods. You're the best woman in the world."
And he does want to lose weight. Both of us could stand to lose between 20 and 40 pounds. He's about 5' 10" and 225 or so. Some of that is muscle - he lifts weights, and is a muscley guy - but some of that is fat as well. He wants to be 190, I think he'd be plenty skinny between 200-210. ****, I think he looks fine as he is.
As far as the veggies - that lunch was not typical. Usually I have a lot more veggies. For some reason yesterday I just wasn't all that hungry. I did have a nice piece of salmon for dinner and a BIG pile of cole slaw (even not on a diet, slaw for me is shredded cabbage and Italian dressing, not that sweet slaw stuff most people think of) for dinner, and today's lunch will be a big chef's salad. I may not get the right things for every meal every single day, but I do try to even things out - if one day's veggies are low, I bulk up on 'em the next day.
I'm glad to hear that other people have husbands who only eat what you put in front of them.
Want to know what my husband did before he met me..... He had a Mother.
Actually he lived on his own for a bit but he and his roomate ate out most of the time or lived on Kraft dinner. My dh does fine as long as I am making his meals and I don't have sweets in the house. He is a real cookie monster.
"The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for."
I found this thread hilarious. Adadoozy, I feel for you, my ex husband was much the same way, and ate mostly crap unless I took care of a nice meal, when he did cook he burned my pots horribly. Loll On the total opposite of that, my boyfriend having been married and divorced a few times is VERY independant, and is quite the opposite of this. He's not on the SBD with me; however he's usually the COOK of the house and tells me to get the heck out of the kitchen. (giggle) Not to mention he's PICKY! When we go out to eat boy does he pick the food apart! So, with me being on this lovely diet, I have been cooking almost every night, and he's been trying the recipes, and enjoying dinner with me each night. He's been VERY IMPRESSED! It gave me such a boost to have him being so supportive. . . . although HE'D NEVER GIVE UP HIS CARBS (mmmm beer - "Homer") (giggle) So far I've had the "Spice Rubbed Chicken Breast with Mustard-Green Onion Sauce, Chicken Capri, Beef Kebabs with Peanut Sauce, and I made fajitas one night minus the tortilla.... and a delicious blackened chicken that I threw together! KEEP KICKING IT! Perhaps making a few fabulious recipes and having him "help you"... might help him get more interested... . pack a picnic, (turkey rolls etc) and enjoy it together. (just a thought)
Sounds familiar!!! My fiance is doing it too. He actually did make dinner one night and one morning made breakfast and fixed my lunch... once out of the week wasn't TOO bad. But he won't read the book and so keeps asking me questions all the time and I keep saying... READ THE BOOK!
He's finidng it easier than me though... he likes the proteins and doesn't miss the carbs. I miss the carbs a ton and I'm having a hard time. This was our first week and he lost 8 POUNDS and I lost 3 pounds... we were impressed.
In Mr. Abadoozy's favor, before he left for the gym today he asked me what was for dinner. I told him "T-bones and some veggies" and he offered to cook tonight! We'll see if he really does it. I have a feeling I'll be stuck with frozen vegetables, but beggars can't be choosers, right?
I giggled all the way through reading this thread...if men only knew!!!!
I think a lot of them are the same...they want to be waited on just like mommy did. However, I am NOT mommy and I refuse to wait on the guy like that. It reminds me of a 'Life's Like That' joke that was in Reader's Digest many, many years ago.
A college student came home from college for the weekend and told her mother that she wanted to marry someone just like dad. Mom answered by telling her that they don't come in 21 year old models.
When I was first married, my mom came over to our apartment, took out the ironing board, told DH that she wanted to see him and then proceeded to show him how to iron a shirt. She said "I know you'll need to know how. AAANNNND, she was right.
DH has never had a weight problem, so does not officially do the diet. However, whenever I have tried to lose weight in the past, he just askes what diet we are on now and rolls with it.
On Phase 1, I just make the foods that are on the program and added an extra starch or something to supplement his meals. On Phase 2, though, he eats what I eat. The times he truly goes off program is when he is either out for lunch at work, or buys off program foods for his midnight snacking and I leave that up to him.
I tend to throw foods together for my lunch - a salad with additional veggies, a bit of protein and something to satisfy my sweet tooth. DH either makes his own if he doesn't like what I am having, or he gets the same. This works for us.
Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember.... Amateurs built the ark,
Professionals built the Titanic.
WW 186/125.75/120 May 2002
SBD 170/127.0/130 May - Nov. 2004
SBD 188/179/130 May 2012
Well DH always tells me just because you're on SBD does not mean the rest of us are. So I tell him if he don't like what I fixed the kitchen is open! lol He cooks for him and the kids sometimes. But usually ends up eating what I cook. He's a carb lover!
God is big, so we expect him to speak with the voice of thunder or lightning or earthquake or fire. But God often expresses his powerful love in gentle whispers. Listen for God's whispers as well as his shouts.
My DH is very different. He's on South Beach, and he's always OP, and often cooks! More than me! He's very focused, and if I don't have dinner ready, or it's something that has too many carbs, he's just "goes with it", and pulls something else out of the fridge.
I don't know how he puts up with me.
__________________ I am a runner!
"Wouldn't it be wonderful to take all the evil people and put them over there, then we wouldn't have to deal with them. And all of us good people would stay right here. The problem is that the line separating good and evil cuts right through the human heart." Alexander Solzenitzen
My DH is doing SBD too. He used to be a chef, classically trained in French cuisine: read butter and cream. He's made some massive changes to the way he cooks over the last few years, and has become a poster boy for model eating (most of the time). More often than not, he cooks. I feel very spoiled most of the time.
Ahhh the agony of it all... yep i have pretty much the same problem. I talked to him over the weekend and told him that he needs to take charge of his health. While I am more than happy to prepare meals, I will not chase him around nagging him to eat well. So we are doing a weekly menu of meals and he is now cooking once per week! Yay.. it is his turn tonite and it will be Thai beef salad.