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Help! Need encouragement :(

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Old 07-09-2004, 11:32 AM   #1
Diamondgrrl7's Avatar
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 80

Default Help! Need encouragement :(

I need some MAJOR encouragement because I have totally fallen off the wagon and the thought of getting back on sickens me. I guess it all started because my grandmother got really sick and was in the hospital. I'm definitely a stress eater and I totally went off the diet. That was about a week or so ago. Since then I have been eating ice cream, pizza, buttered toast, fried chicken.. etc.. Pretty much everything I can get my hands on. I used to do two miles on the treadmill, 5 days a week. Now I dont have any motivation whatsoever. Yesterday I tried to stick to the plan... and I did all day until dinner..but then I blew it and had pizza for dinner....and then chocolate...because it was there and easy and because I was feeling depressed. I've gained back 3.5 pounds of what I lost and I feel terrible about it, which is making me eat even more. It's especially hard cuz my dh eats nothing but junkfood, and our fridge is packed with unhealthiness.

How do I stop this cycle? How do the rest of you overcome things in your life and still stay on the wagon? I feel so hopeless and very much like I just "cant" do it. I know that is a really whimpy attitude, and I'm usually not a whimpy person.. but...there it is. Anyway, does anyone have advice or miracle words of encouragement that will smack me out of this slump? I would really appreciate it.
SW: 194
CW: 150
GW: 140

Started the SB diet on May 19th, 2004.

Feb start weight: 150

Goal for Feb: -4
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Old 07-09-2004, 12:14 PM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Idaho
Posts: 938

Default Hang in there

It won't be easy to climb back on but I think it's doable. Just think about how good thin feels. Think about how crappy overeating and eating the wrong stuff makes you feel. Be prepared to have a rough couple of days and then feel better.
Heaviest ever! 190.5
Current weight is 178.5
In 2004 I started the incredible journey of SB and lost 53.5 pounds! I am ready to find that road again!

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Old 07-09-2004, 01:00 PM   #3
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Location: Richardson, Texas USA
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Is there any way to reduce or eliminate the unhealthy food in the fridge? I don't buy my husband his unhealthy snacks and soda. He has to buy that himself. If your husband can choose snacks that you don't particularly enjoy you will also find it easier to resist them. Stock up on stuff that you like that is OP. Read up on the nutritional information on some of the stuff you are eating. I went to KFC's website and read about what I used to eat and now I'm not even tempted to stop there.

Are you competitive? I find that the exercise challenge and weight loss challenge help me to stay OP.
Barbara - Started South Beach 5/22/4
HW/SW/CW/GW - Jan start 169 goal of 2

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Old 07-09-2004, 01:30 PM   #4
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B..I..G H..U..G
I'm so sorry. You've had a bad couple weeks. It really sounds like you are depressed. There is nothing wrong with being depressed, it happens to us all. Unfortunately there are no miracle words of encouragment to help you get back.

You have the stress of your grandmother being ill, perhaps facing the thought that she might not be with you for as long as you would like. You have the stress of living with someone not on the plan, with temptations all around you. It would be hard to do this with out the support of those you live with.

Is there someone close to you that you can unload? It might help just to have a sympathetic ear. If not, we are here. Unload away! But if your feelings continue, you may want to think about seeing a couselor of some sort. Just to help you get over this.

How to stop the great spiral downward?

Accept that you are human, you have had a trauma and you turned to food to help relieve the stress. You can't do anything about it now. Don't beat yourself up over it. It does not make you a bad person because you've had an over-eating spell.

Stay in the present when you are eating. It doesn't matter what you ate yesterday or even this morning. Right now is what counts. What are you eating right now and why are you eating it? Pizza is not that bad of a food choice, as long as you don't eat half the large one-speaking from experience here on that. Really think and ask yourself-am I hungry right now? Why do I want to eat? For me the answer usually is, "no I just want to eat it. It taste good." Yes, I'm still working on this myself.

Think about how you feel today, verses how you felt before Grandma got sick. Did you feel better? more energetic? more alert?

Start writing in a journal, talk about how you are feeling, what triggers an eating episode. What was going on, what you were thinking, who was around you stuff like that. Writing my feelings and thoughts has helped me tremendously in my fighting my emotional eating. I can see it in black and white and realize that is not true, and then go on to write what is the truth

An example for me is: "I'm so stupid, I can't believe I ate the whole box of cookies tonight. I always eat too much, I'm always eating everythign in site."

I looked at that statement and countered with: "I'm not stupid, intelligence has nothing to do with eating. Yes, I did eat the entire box of cookies, why? because I didn't eat lunch at work and missed dinner because I had a meeting to go to after work and didn't pack a snack. I ate because I was hungry. I don't always eat everything in site, and I don't always eat too much. How to I not repeat this? Remember to eat lunch, keep portable snacks like nuts, vegetable sticks or fruit in my bag at all times."

I've read several books on the subject that has helped me begin to get a handle on it. I think it will be a life long struggle.

This one got me started thinking about the reasons why I eat:
8 Minutes in the Morning for Real Shapes, Real Sizes: Specifically Designed for People Who Want to Lose 30 Pounds or More by Jorge Cruise

The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom by Phil McGraw

The Thin You Within You-winning the weight game with self-esteem by Abraham Twerski, MD- I'm reading this one right now, it's great.

Emotional eating : a practical guide to taking control by Edward Abramson

I tend to eat when I'm anxious or bored. We should start us a thread of emotional eaters so we can spill our guts about the lastest thing we've eaten the entire thing of. Maybe figure out what caused us to start the binge so we can learn from it. My husband thinks I'm demented. I finally figured out one of my triggers-it was him! He would say something just in passing and I would get angry about it and instead of confronting him, I would swollow it down so as to not start an arguemnt and eat to stuff that anger down. Shoot...not anymore. I get right into his face and start confronting. As Dr. Phil says, "Own your emotions" Usually I find he didn't mean to say what he said the way he said it.

Last time I had a emotional eating episode I went through 1/2 box of Kashi Good Friends. Oh, well it could have been worse.

Is there a way you could perhaps not buy as much of the junk food as you normally do? Ask dh to take some of it to work with him, leave it in his desk or locker or his car? Put the tempting stuff farther up in the shelves. I'm only 5' tall, so anything above my eye level I forget about.

Good luck,
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Old 07-09-2004, 01:52 PM   #5
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Diamondgrrl7, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. This must be a very hard time for you, especially with your boyfriend's food temptations. Is there any way that he can get a little bar refridgerator and keep his stuff in there so you don't have to look at it? I don't think I could stay OP if all the bad stuff was just lying around the house. See if he can keep it somewhere out of your way, and make it clear that it is his stuff and not for you. I hope that can help.

Sarah has perfect points that I can't really elaborate on as eloquently. I think a visit to OA might be a good thing to try. Check out their website at www.oa.org You'll find that you don't have to be strong to make it through this illness of compulsive eating to deal with stress and problems. Weakness is a virtue in OA. Check it out. I have found it very helpful, personally.

I hope things get much better for you soon, Diamondgrrl7! You'll be in my prayers. Just remember that you are a precious person who deserves to be healthy and feel good about herself. I love the quote of one of our 3FCers (Melris, maybe?) that says: "Failure is not falling down. Failure is not getting up again."
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Old 07-09-2004, 04:05 PM   #6
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 80


Thanks so much for all of your replies. I'm feeling a little better now. I just got off the treadmill and now I'm having a salad. I feel more relaxed and hopeful just letting it all out.

RNMOM - Thank you for reminding me of how I felt when I was eating healthy and the weight was coming off. Eating all this junk only leaves me feeling sick and depressed and I need to keep reminding myself of that.

Barb - I'm going to have a talk with dh when he gets home today. It's becoming impossible to stick to the diet when we have three cartons of ice cream in the freezer. I don't buy them for him myself, but we usually go shopping together and he loads the cart up with ice cream and doughnuts. He knows it makes my life difficult so he has tried toning it down, but lately he has been going overboard. I feel bad telling him he can't have that stuff in the house, but I think he will understand and we will work something out. I put myself down for the weight loss challenge this month, so I think that will help me get back on track.

Sarah - Thanks so much for all of the great advice. I made plans to spend tomorrow with a friend so I can let it all out. I think talking to her will make me feel better, esp. since she is dieting as well. I definitely need to stay in the present when I'm eating. Once I cheat, I tell myself that I might as well cheat the rest of the day. I know that is a terrible way of thinking and its something I need to work on. I've been writing in a journal for awhile now but since my grandmother fell ill, I have stopped. Thanks for reminding me to get back to it. I'm going to take a look at those book, esp. emotional eating. That is a huge thing for me. I'll know that I'm not hungry at all, but I'll snack anyway because I'm bored or depressed. If only it was easy to change the way I think. Even though I know I do it, its still really hard.

Laurie - I'm going to check out OA right now. I'll let you know if I find it helpful. I expect that it will be. Thanks for the support. I don't know what I would do without this site. Everyone is so wonderful.
SW: 194
CW: 150
GW: 140

Started the SB diet on May 19th, 2004.

Feb start weight: 150

Goal for Feb: -4
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