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My name is Natasha and I'm a fraud

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Old 08-20-2012, 06:10 PM   #1
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Default My name is Natasha and I'm a fraud

Yep, you heard me.

When I started I was SO gung ho about my new lifestyle and SWORE that I wasn't going to be one of those people that lose the weight and then come back w/ their tail tucked between their legs saying they had gained it back. Yet, here I am, 33 pounds heavier than my lowest weight. *sigh*

Truth be told, I've been cheating A LOT lately and it's showing. I can tell b/c when I take pictures now, I don't like ANY of them. I can tell my face is fatter. I put off stepping on the scale again for long enough, but I stepped on today and WHAM...284. F bombs galore!!!

I will say that my clothes are fitting a tiny bit snugger, but not what I would expect to have put that much weight back on. Hopefully that means that SOME of it is from muscle gained due to the 100 - 150 crunches I'm doing daily. Yeah, I know, not 33 pounds worth, though. LOL

So how do you do it, ladies...how do you get past being pissed off at yourself and disgusted and move on to kicking your own butt back in to gear???
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Old 08-20-2012, 06:12 PM   #2
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Been there, done that, more than once. There's just no going backwards so put it behind you and take each day as it comes. And, if you are like me, you will feel so much better so quickly once back OP. Remind yourself what worked for you and plan, plan, plan. You can do this!!
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Old 08-20-2012, 06:23 PM   #3
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Been there done that too many times to count. But I keep coming back, I keep trying until I find something that works for me. I have to weigh myself every day, I know not too smart. Yes my weight fluctuates daily, but I can accept water weight some days others because I snack at times without hesitation. Deep down I do know I feel better when I eat better. My food looks better when it is colorful. I have to plan every day because I know I cannot be trusted. Like yesterday, I'll eat the panini but not the fries (yeah right). I'll have salad not pizza (uh no I'll have a slice and some of a calzone) I did this despite riding 24 miles yesterday on my bike. It's like there is a good me and a not so good me. Today when I woke up, I read the daily thread. It really does help me be accountable to me.

We all struggle at times and I bet you have given a kind word of encouragement to others too. Be kind to yourself. Each of those 33 rotten pounds will be gone and I bet they will take their rotten friends with them for good.
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Old 08-20-2012, 06:29 PM   #4
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Hey why don't you for the next month set weekly goals. Simple achievable ones that will encourage your progress. For example, drinking 64 ounces of water every day for a week. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Besides when you reach your goal, I would love to meet you in NYC it's only a train ride away.
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Old 08-20-2012, 07:02 PM   #5
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I think being gone from this site has REALLY hindered my progress, too...so I'm going to try to be on here more often. Plus I've been spending too much time online playing games and chatting on my other forum.

I have nobody to blame but myself, that's for sure.
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Old 08-20-2012, 08:53 PM   #6
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I have done the same thing also. I know how you're feeling. Being angry with yourself will do little to no good. It is time to start over, and coming back here is step one. Go back on your plan and stick with it one day, or one meal at a time. Sometimes looking at the big picture can be overwhelming. I am not telling you not to have an end goal in mind, but focus on the short term goals it will help keep you motivated. My dietician always tells me "Persistance over Perfection". You can't always stay perfectly on plan, but you don't have to let one "bad" snack, make a whole bad day...or week.

Also echoing what jekel said PLAN! I find that is the key! Stayong on plan doesn't happen by chance.

You've taken a step in the right direction ... now just keep following the path!
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Old 08-20-2012, 09:03 PM   #7
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I like to make a checklist of small daily goals and then force myself to update it every night. I'm not above bribing myself for getting some number of points each week either. Weight loss is hard, maintaining weight loss is harder. I've been a bit off the rails myself the last couple of months and am about to create a new Daily Accountability chart.

Checking in here every day really makes a difference for me. I catch myself slipping a lot sooner if I'm showing my face in here.

Welcome back. You've kept most of it off and you know you can do it.
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Old 08-20-2012, 10:31 PM   #8
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Natasha -- after 13 months of staying mostly faithful to phase two I just came back a week ago after a two-month food bender and nasty regain. I knew that if I kept going the way I was I'd wind up back where I started -- and worse -- and that the longer I continue off track the longer it would take me to reach my long-term goals.

I'm not dwelling on it, but I did start phase 1 again (just finished week one of two) to re-establish my good habits that I let fall by the wayside. This site, particularly the recipes, the On Plan Thread, and all the fabulous ladies continue to be totally instrumental to my planning and staying on plan as well.
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Old 08-20-2012, 11:13 PM   #9
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Thanks, everybody, for your words of encouragement.
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Old 08-21-2012, 08:04 AM   #10
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Love you You know what to do and we're all here for you. PS you're not a fraud....be gentle on yourself.
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Old 08-21-2012, 06:35 PM   #11
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Thanks, Lexxiss. I love you ladies, too. I'm going to try my best to check in here everyday to keep myself on track.

On a positive note, apparently some of that was just alcohol bloat from my Saturday night outing. 5 of those ugly pounds have left me already. I did make it a point to go to the gym after work this morning and felt much better for having done so.
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Old 08-21-2012, 08:00 PM   #12
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Aww. I'm sure most of us have done that to some degree. I'm guilty of "Oh, I've reached my goal, so now a little bit here and there won't hurt." Well, "here and there" turns to "here, here, here and more here", then a daily thing. Focusing harder now means less to lose later.

I personally don't make a plan but I don't have anything in the house that is not "on plan". I cook half of what I used to for my fiance and I and that is it. No going back for seconds, even if there is "just a little bit left".

I don't set goals because not meeting them discourages me beyond belief. I have it set in my mind to fit into my 14's again. No specific weight, although I do weigh myself once a week. I'm easily discouraged and even if in that week I only lost 1lb, I still feel it is a victory.

I don't chime in on here often but I visit every time I need to remind myself there are other people around that struggle, fail and succeed like I do.
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Old 08-21-2012, 08:40 PM   #13
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Thanks, Devlish...that helps a lot, actually. I've been struggling partly b/c I have 3 other family member living in my house (it's a long story, LOL) and NONE of them are on any diet plan. So having two meals cooked, one healthy and one not-so-healthy, is creating problems. Junk food wasn't in the house for almost 2 years and now it is again. The good news, though, is that I'm going to be moving in w/ someone in another state who hopefully will be more conducive to my way of eating. She's told me for years that she wishes I would come be her roommate and help her stay healthy, so hopefully this will be good for BOTH of us.
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Old 08-22-2012, 01:18 AM   #14
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I've tried 2 other times before while living with my fiance and both times failed. This time around he's doing it with me. I remember how difficult it was when I was either doing the diet solo (and cooking 2 meals) or making him do it with me the first time (and he complained, and complained...) Having support at home makes it 100 times easier. Hopefully when you move you two can be each others strength.

Also, one thing that has made it easier for me is a weekly visit to "Sweet Tomatoes" which is a ginormous salad bar here in AZ. Once a week we go to that and eat salads from some place else! (Exciting, I know) It mixes up the routine and saves me from cooking just one night. (which I appreciate) It feels like we are cheating when in reality we aren't.

I'm cheering for you!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 08-22-2012, 04:05 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Devlish View Post
I've tried 2 other times before while living with my fiance and both times failed. This time around he's doing it with me. I remember how difficult it was when I was either doing the diet solo (and cooking 2 meals) or making him do it with me the first time (and he complained, and complained...) Having support at home makes it 100 times easier. Hopefully when you move you two can be each others strength.

Also, one thing that has made it easier for me is a weekly visit to "Sweet Tomatoes" which is a ginormous salad bar here in AZ. Once a week we go to that and eat salads from some place else! (Exciting, I know) It mixes up the routine and saves me from cooking just one night. (which I appreciate) It feels like we are cheating when in reality we aren't.

I'm cheering for you!!!!!!!!!!!
I've only been to Sweet Tomatoes once, but I loooooooooved it!!! Ooh, I wonder if there's one up around Fitchburg. The closest one to me where I live now is 2 hours away.
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1st goal - 10% of body weight lost - MET 06/21/10
2nd goal - 100 lbs lost
3rd goal - 180 lbs!!!
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