forming some thoughts about self acceptance at current weight (LONG)

[chickadeee55]

Mmckellen, I have always enjoyed reading you posts and how well you do. And I have been watching this thread you started, trying to decide if I should post, since I myself am going through something at the moment with me and SB.

But I think you do have to have a comfort zone, where you feel you want to be, maybe having a dream weight isn't the thing to do, because you will spend you whole life trying to get there and miss out on life itself. Personally, I want a point in all this where I just feel good, and I don't care what the scale tells me or the tag on my clothes. I want a plan I can live with and enjoy and makes me feel good. The nice thing about SB, if you get off track, it has a safety net (go back to another phase for awhile) and then get back at it.

The best to you, I think taking a break is a good thing, sometimes too much thought on something is in itself, exhausting. Like greyeyedmustang mentioned, be realistic about where you want to be.

[Mmckellen]

Guys, thanks so much for all your feedback. I'm still mulling this over in my mind and probably will be for a while. But for now, I'm going to put weight loss out of my head and focus on eating healthy and getting back into a regular, rigorous exercise regime. The nice thing about all that is I will still come here for support and friendship because SB is all about a healthy lifestyle and that is what I want, even if I never lose another lb.

[Lexxiss]

Matilda, it seems you are not alone in thinking about this. It's certainly the beauty of this group to get such great feedback!

I, too, have been mulling some things over. Yes, I do have some more weight to lose but have to admit if I were your height and weight I might very well be looking straight at maintenance.

I've been transitioning (with help from Dr. Beck) and Beck Complete Diet for Life. In this book her Stage 4 is called "The Think Thin Lifetime Eating Plan". I've been using some of her ideas and adding ideas of my own to come up with a weekly plan for food, exercise, environment, etc. What I've come up with so far seems very comfortable. I want this plan to be a long term thing.

I'd love to hear what ideas you come up with. I'm especially glad to hear that you don't plan to leave us any time soon!

[Mmckellen]

Thanks Debbie. I've been thinking today about looking and feeling beautiful just at this weight. I realized I've put off things like paying attention to pedicures, eyebrows and other personal grooming things "until I lost weight." Not that I haven't been doing them, but I haven't been doing them regularly enough, because I've been waiting...for life to be different. Because of ten pounds or so. Today I stopped trying to hold my stomach in all the time and just relax. It felt good but this is a process. I'm so glad I have all my friends here!

[Lexxiss]

Matilda, I've put several "personal" weekly items on my sheet including using my Sonicare and a footbath that I have but rarely use. BTW-My weekly sheet is a hand drawn flower. All the petals have a task and the center is "balance". It's definitely a work in progress but I'm liking how it feels.

Good for you trying just to "relax".

[thefrenchgirl]

Matilda, My heart goes out to you. I, too, have been a life long dieter with false beliefs and expectations imposed on me at a young age by my step-mom. She had me on my first home based diet in second grade. I was going to Weight Watchers by fifth grade. I grew up hiding and manipulating food in a very shame-filled environment. I was in my 30's before I started to unpack and seek truth regarding my long held beliefs about myself and about food. I have a long way to go, but I'm in a better place today than I was yesterday. For me, it was a huge step to break the silence. I had held my worst memories of physical and emotional abuse secret for 20 years. By telling my stories to my husband, my best friend and a therapist, I was finally able to start the healing process. Regardless of what your exact situation might have been, it sounds like it still bugs you. I encourage you to keep talking about it. When we bring things into the light, it makes it easier for us to see the truth. BTW: I think you look fabulous!

[Mmckellen]

Thanks to everyone. I have been enjoying my body and enjoying eating on plan foods without thinking about losing weight. Tomorrow I had planned to go to my favorite thrift store, and it is a very strange feeling to think about picking out clothes that will fit now and for a long time, rather than just "temporary clothes until I lose weight" or the old favorite "these will fit when I lose 10 pounds." As long as my current clothes fit, I'm not going to worry. I have not weighed either. It is such a strange feeling. I'm focusing on exercise to get fit, as I doubt my size will change much with exercising without dieting. You all are so great.

[TwynnB]

You rock.

[zeffryn]

Matilda, you've always been an inspiration to me, and now even more so.

*hugs*