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Old 10-22-2011, 11:28 AM   #1
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Angry Starting SBD again, butting heads with family

A couple years I had a very successful run with SBD. I lost 20lbs and was feeling better than ever! Unfortunately I moved to a very SBD-UNfriendly country for 2 years and over that time gained back the weight I had worked so hard to lose

But now I'm back in North America and ready to restart the SBD journey that worked so well for me before. There's just one problem: my mother.

I'm stuck living at home for the next couple months and while my mom and I are super close we butt heads when it comes to eating habits. She graduated from Weight Watchers a long time ago, and her way is all about portion control. That's fine, SBD is a bit loose on the portion control guidelines but I have always understood it to be that veggies don't need to be portioned out the way other things do. 5 cups a day, right?

Anyway, this morning I set about heating up vegetarian chili for breakfast. There is no meat in it whatsoever, it's chock full of veggies, a bit of beans, and the only spices added to it are coriander and kosher salt (I make chili without chili powder, too spicy). I had about 2 cups of it in my bowl and mom was horrified, telling me "half of that!!" even though it was just veggies and beans. This isn't the first time she's done this. When I have greek salad for lunch I tend to use about half a head of lettuce and one tomato and 1/3c feta. She insists that I am eating way too much. When I have meat with a meal (no more than 1-2x a day) I have probably about 3-4oz, something she must consider reasonable because she has yet to comment on it.

I guess what I want to know is, who is in the right here? Am I overeating on my veggies? I really *LIKE* vegetables and we're supposed to have 4-5cups a day, right? Am I going about this wrong? I'd really like to continue SBD but my mother's insistence that I'm doing everything wrong is becoming a problem. Any thoughts on this portion control argument would be great. I hate feeling hungry and to me filling up on veggies is way better than filling up on bread.
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Old 10-22-2011, 11:49 AM   #2
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You can't overdo veggies (unless they're the really starchy kinds). I've been on WW for years & can't figure out why she would worry about you eating too many veggies. Now, you could go overboard on the chili and eat too many beans, I suppose, but you would probably get full before doing that. I eat way larger amts. of protein than 3-4 oz. & have maintained my SB loss for over 3 years.

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Old 10-22-2011, 12:43 PM   #3
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It is a matter of what is right for each of you. WW is right for her and SBD is right for you. If hers is working for her and yours is working for you there should be no argument, but I see that your mother wants to be right after all she is the mother and Mom always knows best .....well they like to think they do. I think as tactfully as you can tell her that you want to do SBD as you know it will work for you and that you have no problem if she wants to follow WW.BUT Mom, MYOB.
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Last edited by bargoo; 10-22-2011 at 12:45 PM.
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Old 10-22-2011, 12:50 PM   #4
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Tell her that you are giving SBD a shot and if it doesn't work out that you will try WW with her but give her the information to see what SBD recommends etc so she sees you are following your own guidelines. Remember though that meat is going to help you stay satisifed when you eat so dont be afraid to have meat in your chili... I get hungry very quickly on veggies alone but add some meat and i am good to go.
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Old 10-22-2011, 12:52 PM   #5
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I was in the situation several years ago where my mom commented on anything and everything regarding the way I was choosing to lose weight. I agree with murphmitch, that you're probably doing just fine. The question becomes how does your mom come to understand that you need to decide what is right for you. I know my mom doesn't like being "wrong" and neither do I, for that matter. Perhaps you could suggest that your mom read the SBD book and understand a little better the philosophy behind SBD. Then you could explain to her that you're going to follow it "as written" for now.

Best wishes!
Debbie R

My last 54 pounds lost on SBD My 2014 Beacher Bio!
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Old 10-22-2011, 04:37 PM   #6
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I'd ask your mom to read the book. After she reads it, have a conversation with her. WW was great for her. But SBD is what works for you. No two people, even with the same DNA, are alike. What works for you is what works for you.

Let her know you appreciate the support, but the right kind of support. Maybe she will understand after she understands the diet?

Good luck!
Weight Lost Since January 3, 2015 via South Beach Diet
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Old 10-23-2011, 08:30 AM   #7
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I agree with the other ladies. Give her a copy of the book. I read it in 2 days (between chasing after 2 little ones and a teenager) so it's not like it's an read. I'm thinking she just doesn't understand what you're doing and coming from a WW background it all just looks so wrong to her.
I assume she's following the old WW plan because even now on points plus most fruits and veggies are allowed in unlimited portions.
Maybe once you start to really see some results she'll be quiet once she sees it really really works.

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Old 10-23-2011, 12:44 PM   #8
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I haven't done WW in many years, but don't they have new guidelines? 0 point veggies and fruit? That says 'unlimited' to me. Right?
Victory (over donuts) is not being free of the desire...its having the ability to say NO!!!
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