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Old 10-09-2011, 11:50 AM   #1
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Question Mom Advice

At school last week, Auston said he accidentally spilled his drink on himself and on the boy sitting next to him (both 2nd grade). Since then, the boy has been telling Auston daily, "I'm going to beat you up and tear you into pieces!" I asked if Auston told the teacher. He said he tried, but the teacher said, "Don't be a tattle-tale."

I realize that this is Auston's side of the story, and I don't want him to be a tattler either. I also don't want him to be threatened at school. Should I talk to the teacher? Should I just wait and see what happens? Someone has messed with my kid and the 'bulldog' instincts have kicked in.
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Old 10-09-2011, 12:03 PM   #2
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I would never think of your child as a tattle tale if he's being responsible and telling an adult when he is feeling threatened by another student. That's exactly what we teach children to do, then when they do it, they are called tattle tales. If he didn't say anything and it continued and turned into a physical altercation between the boys, then everyone would be asking him, "Why didn't you say anything to us before?" That's confusing for kids. I think you should take him at his word and if the teacher refuses to address the situation, then you should address it with the teacher.
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Old 10-09-2011, 12:09 PM   #3
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I think you should talk to the teacher and if she will not listen go to the principal. This little boy, while young might be a potential, thug, bully , who knows what, better to face it now.
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Old 10-09-2011, 12:14 PM   #4
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I am NOT a mom (caveat) but I would go talk to the teacher. Bullying, either being one or being bullied is not ok. I'd have a problem with a teacher telling my kid not to be a tattletale when this is a serious issue. It's not like he was trying to tell her that boy took his crayon or his seat or something. This is a threat!
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Old 10-09-2011, 01:12 PM   #5
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Definitely talk to the teacher! If it continues and she isn't willing to help with the issue, then go to the principal. Your child should not have to deal with threats when trying to learn. If there is more to the story than what your child is telling you, then the teacher will fill you in and you can deal with it appropriately...but you can't deal with it until you hear the teacher's side of what is going on inside the classroom. Maybe she just hasn't understood that it is a serious problem at this point and will become more sensitive to it after you talk to her.

I have a second grade son as well, and I used to feel bad about contacting teachers with concerns until a teacher told me that she appreciates parents notifying her of problems because she cannot see or hear everything going on in the class at all times. So now I speak up when I have an issue and most teachers are great at listening and working out solutions.
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Old 10-09-2011, 02:21 PM   #6
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Bypass the teacher and go directly to the principle. The teacher is way off base in handling a bullying problem.

The principle needs to address this problem with the teacher, the child and his parents.
And if the principle doesn't handle it properly, then you have to take it to the school board.

It's best to stop the little bully while he is very young. He is threatening great bodily harm, and your son feels threatened. It is not a good experience for your son to go through every day.

My son was being bullied by the teacher AND the principle in the 2nd grade, would you believe. I had to remove him from the private school and enroll him in a public school.

(He liked to tell jokes in class and make the kids laugh. For that he was never allowed to participate in field trips and school parties. So I merely kept him home on those days, so he did not know he was being badly ostracized. The teacher had a nervous breakdown and ended up in the hospital. She could not handle anything in the classroom any more. But not because of my son. She had a long-standing illness. But because the principle of the private school could have transferred him to another class, and was nasty with me, and preferred to mistreat my son, I switched him to a public school for the 3rd grade. Saved me money, and he liked it much better. He never had a problem in the new school. So it worked out for the best. )

The slogan 'Press On' has solved, and always will solve, the problems of the human race.
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Old 10-09-2011, 06:52 PM   #7
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I'm going to disagree with Jolina and say you should definitely talk to the teacher about this first. My bet is that she dismissed your son's first attempt to tell her because she deals with hundreds of "so-and-so said so-and-so" on a daily basis. I'm not saying this was the right decision (it obviously wasn't) I'm sure when she hears from you that he is being threatened on a daily basis she will take action. If she doesn't, then go above her head.
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Old 10-09-2011, 10:48 PM   #8
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I would also tell Austin to ignore the boy. Drives the bully nuts when they're not getting the reaction that they want. Pretty difficult for a child that young to understand though!
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Old 10-10-2011, 07:12 AM   #9
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Today is Columbus Day/Parent-Teacher Conference Day at the school. I already had a meeting set up. I will talk to the teacher. Thank you for all your advice. Wish me luck!
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Old 10-10-2011, 08:00 PM   #10
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I saw the teacher this evening. She really is lovely -- and young and energetic. She said that she has not noticed any conflict between the boys, but she would keep her eyes and ears open. I appreciate her listening.
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