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Changing Mindset...

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Old 08-06-2010, 03:50 PM   #1
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Default Changing Mindset...

I let myself cheat today...I had a Mighty Kid's Meal, skipped the drink. Had 6 nuggets and the fries. While I know this is fine, I can't help but beat myself up over it. I know this one meal isn't going to do much damage...but I just can't wrap my mind around it being okay.
I have the all or nothing attitude, so how do I go about changing that? For me realistically, I'm not going to be able to go my whole life without these little treats along the way....
I hope this is making sense, does anyone have any ideas?
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Old 08-06-2010, 04:29 PM   #2
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Yes, PinkHoodie, what you are saying makes sense. I agree that when you are changing your lifestyle that once in awhile deviations are still part of that change.

I have been working the Beck Diet Solution, alongside SBD. One technique which helps me is to make a plan for "off plan eating" in advance. When I do that, I am able to alleviate the associated guilt and self flagellation which sometimes occurs when I do spur of the moment ordering at the drive through.

The thing that I always keep in mind when I do eat food which is off plan, is that the off plan may cause cravings for something else. I believe that craving can be either mental or physical.

I am noticing how far you have come and hope that you can pat yourself on the back and recognize that your "all or nothing attitude" has brought your this far. Just hop back on plan and continue walking in the right direction.

I hope that makes sense...I'm not advocating going off plan but offering a alternate mindset.
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Old 08-06-2010, 05:01 PM   #3
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Thanks Debbie, I think what you said will help. I think it would be better for me to have a plan for off plan eating, but I am proud that all I really wanted was a small taste. Normally it was huge burgers, biggest sized fries and huge soda to go with it. I think I can live with having kids meals every so often. Next month though is my Dh's 30th birthday and we are planning on going to the melting pot...that scares me a bit, but he really wants to go. Guess I will have to think about my strategy there. Maybe just having a little bit of everything?
Thanks for your help and support though I really appreciate it.
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Old 08-06-2010, 06:37 PM   #4
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This sounds harsh (don't mean it to, believe me), but the more you educate yourself about what is and isn't food, you won't want to touch that stuff.

Got netflix? Watch Food inc. and King Corn. The more you learn, the less junk you will want to look at much less put in your mouth and realize what you once considered little treats is absolute poison and will shorten your life.
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Old 08-06-2010, 06:45 PM   #5
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I learned a lot about what's in food. It put me off it for a month or so back before dieting but, you know what? I'm sure you do, sometimes you just WANT it. It doesn't really matter what's in it. And every once in a great while, that's ok. It actually helps your body to change it up so go ahead and give in to a craving every so often and don't beat yourself up over it.

You'll eat well the rest of the day and ****, maybe the rest of the week but, you do your best and you enjoy it along the way. The weight will come off if you're serious about changing your eating habits and you're definitely allowed to indulge in crap food once in a while.
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Old 08-06-2010, 06:55 PM   #6
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I really struggle with this mentality and have often gone on a huge binge because of one little cheat. Some things that help me if I want to splurge: never do it at home, make it about a special time out of the house, and, don't do it early in the day when there are many hours left to get out of control.

That said, we went to the Melting Pot at my son's request when I was being very good about staying on plan last winter. I was able to eat in moderation. I chose carefully, like I had the cheese fondue but only on the veggies, no bread, and I had the chocolate fondue but only on the fruit. I had no trouble getting back on track after that meal. You can do it too!
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Old 08-06-2010, 07:39 PM   #7
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Thanks everyone for your help!
I watched Food Inc....it has made me more paranoid about what chicken I am eating, but really I don't think it changed me for good.
Karen - Thank you for your suggestions for the Melting Pot. Your ideas are great. I honestly have no trouble getting back on plan on splurge. I just hate beating myself up for a little treat, and want to change that about myself.
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Old 08-06-2010, 08:47 PM   #8
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Another thing that has helped me is to get rid of the word "cheat". The phrase, "unplanned eating" is far less emotionally charged, and in fact, it is a good description of the event. I find it better to describe the event without verbally degrading myself....which I think often leads to the beat myself up syndrome.
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Old 08-06-2010, 10:09 PM   #9
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In the past, when I have "cheated", I would go on a binge too. It would last for days and it was very hard for me to get back OP. This happened a few times after I started SB, but gradually I realized that one meal or one day of doing this didn't mean that I had "wrecked" everything. I could get right back on plan and could really tell the difference how much better I felt when eating properly. I have gradually begun to make better choices when special occasions arise. I'm more confident at family get togethers and special occasion. If I do have a really special time when I kind of go crazy, I know that it will be OK. One of my biggest motivators at this point is vanity. I love my newer wardrobe and how I look. I'm uncomfortable if my clothes get even a little tight. I'm able to get right back on plan and the weight comes right off. It sure took a long time for me to be able to do this, as I've been on diets most of my life. SB has worked for me like no other plan has for maintenance.
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Old 08-06-2010, 11:16 PM   #10
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Melting pot is great for SBD. Salad to start. Chicken and seafood with broth. Cheese fondue with veggies (small amt. of cheese). Dark chocolate and fruit (small serving). I love this place. Have fun.
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Old 08-18-2010, 01:19 AM   #11
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I beat myself up when I eat off plan too. I like the idea of not using the word "cheating" because it does sound so harsh. So far I haven't touched anything fried since I started but I just keep reminding myself that it's better for my IBS.
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Old 08-18-2010, 06:12 AM   #12
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It's very hard, but maybe it will help to think of this as a way of life rather than a diet. What that means is that you will try to eat this way as much of the time as possible, don't worry if you fall off the wagon once in a while or not. The guilt and self blame hasn't worked to help you lose weight so you need to try something else, another way of thinking. Beck is great and everyone can benefit from reading the book even if you don't necessarily put everything into practice. Good luck. Keep posting.
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Old 08-18-2010, 09:23 AM   #13
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Echoing what has been said, the important thing is to not let one meal spoil your whole diet. I cheated last Saturday (my fault because I let my blood sugar drop too far when I missed breakfast before a busy day), and I felt like crap that whole day for it. But Sunday was a new day, so I got back on track. It sucked a bit, but not as bad as when you first start Phase I. It's much easier to get back on when you are already in the midst of it.

The most important thing is to forgive yourself. After all, in the grand picture of things, one meal isn't going to destroy everything you've done and it won't ruin your life...unless you let it. Don't let it!
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